Captain

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

along with minute flakes of skin from foreskins, had to be excised from White Mans ownership and control, and returned to the Wurendjeri peoples, accompanied by a smoking ceremony that had to include......

..... 5 packets of Marlboro red and a kilo of rolly.

In the meantime 2 things happened that further rocked the aboriginal grievance industry.

1 The TAC lodged a claim that AFL was invented during a corroboree near Burra 42,000 years ago, even down to the umpires in their white coats & little flags, then made from albino kangaroo skins. (As flags had not yet been invented back then, they were  a later enhancement,  as the original goals were shown using smoke signals).

2 During his recuperation, bull has written a book named "A Little Bit Darker Than Bruce's Darkish Emu Eh" and changed his name to bull Pascoe ready to be offered his professorships, eh, a man from the ....

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

There was a flood of few applications where new recruits agreed to pay a modest amount to the company for the source material they were going to find on the thousands of tablets buried in the Woomera (aboriginal for "desert tablets"), and they all started to dig...............

..... like a Rainbow Serpent on heat.

And this is where the Turbine Aboriginal Corporation came into its own, as both Turbo & Turbinia had been circumcised with oyster shells and were able to prove it by ........

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

Turbo had suddenly understood that the reason the Church of Scientology was so successful, was because.......

...... they treat all prisoners parishioners with kind respect, and that was what .....

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

But Turbo's brain works on a different level to the archaeologists, and he soon had all the information he needed from the writings on the stone tablets, to develop this new and amazing power source. Accordingly, he held a meeting to.........

 

...... form the new Church of Archaeology. 

"There must be a quid in it" said Turbo "As my mate Tom Cruise has done OK (remember how Turbo did all the cunning stunts in Top Gun [some of which were stunning]), and Archaeology is way more interesting than Scientology". 

(Cappy’s best friend Turbo is ever the pragmatic realist in his search for cash.)

The new church was a massive.....

48 minutes ago, onetrack said:

...........Nostradamous  XV111 had not only previously visited numerous remote areas - he had left a numerous of strangely-worded cryptographs inscribed into stone tablets - some of which seemed to show images of lighter-than-air machines powered by mysterious means.

 

Turbo spotted these stone tablets, now residing in the Institute of Archaeology in the British Museum, when he visited the U.K. on one of his many business trips to drum up more finance for his new electric Drifter.

He immediately recognised the images, and set about decoding the cryptographs, which the British Museum archaeologists had so far failed to do.

But Turbo's brain works on a different level to the archaeologists, and he soon had all the information he needed from the writings on the stone tablets, to develop this new and amazing power source. Accordingly, he held a meeting to.........

 

The SingleRoot lagged by 1 minute with his above post, however Crappy yields out of outright respect & admiration.

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Their leader was Nostradamous XXVIII, and he ........

....... wanted an agreement and equity deal once Turbo mentioned that he had registered the name "Turbine Area 51.6547" and had pegged some ground out at Woomera which, when considered with Turbine Properties 10,000 hectare holding in Deloraine, meant that ......

TURBO WEARING HIS NOSTRADAMUS CLOBBER & READY TO RAKE IN THE BIG BUCKS

THE VERY SAME TURBO WITH A CHANGE OF COSTUME AND WEARING HIS AREA 51.6547 CLOBBER.

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

he cars are all parked away from the priceless Nazca lines in the desert, believed to have been drawn in clicles and the shapes of animals over a 50 square kilometre area by aliens who .............

...... used a big plastic protractor to .......

TURBINE PROMOTIONS INITIAL CONCEPT DEVELOPMENT FOR THE BURNING BULL FESTIVAL

WERE CONSIDERED TO BE A BIT TAME (AFTER THEY EXTINGUISHED OUR bULL) BUT THEY

DID SET THE POPPY FIELDS ALIGHT ALL THE WAY TO LONNY.

TP'S 2ND CONCEPT USED A BULL STATUE THAT TURNED INTO A TWIN ENGINED JACKOFF (SEE BELOW)

AND THE TRANSFORMATION FROM BOVINE TO AIRCRAFT (EVENTUAL AVREF) WAS A HIT AND

CONSIDERED WORTHY OF FURTHER REFINEMENT FOR 2024.

(Although this test burnt down 1000 acres of Huon Pine Forest [who said Huon Pine was indestructible?].

 PS - Cappy always fancied Princess Anne, so that connection to Deloraine Council is very poignant.

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the Hobart North Power Station. The kick sent him to Deloraine where he was lucky enough to land on a haystack but his burning clothes started a fire and..........................

..... this was the start of the Burning bull Festival (the BbF) which was styled on the Burning Man Festival except that at Deloraine they .........

THE BURNING MAN FESTIVAL IN 2018

(Crappy was there, & can be seen waving at the camera just on the middle right)

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Bull made his presentation ............

...... and was flooded with invitations to the Davos WEF, the WHO, the Collingwood 2023 Season opener, the UN General Assembly, Epstein Island and to Bob Brown's Tasmania LMBTQRSV Forever Party launch.

Bull became the Gretta Thunberg of our time and the world was stunned when he flashed his scar and  .......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

admittedly with a troubling number wishing to win a Beauty Contest, or ......

..... to own a low hours Jackoff, or to ......

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............the hundreds of Advisors in the Turbine Tower in the Caymans.

..... who have styled themselves in the manner of FTX, where Turbs is living in a $20 million penthouse in a polyamorous relationship with 10 executives and a series of young women that came from a .......

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[I vote 1 for Turbo - "flighty"

.... (avref).

WF POLL - I know that all NESers, and even those thousands of slack Wreck Flying (avref) lurkers, are highly educated folks who always would wish & insist, to be linguistically accurate ..... so perhaps you might all like to contribute, as when I use the word "Turgid" as part of the name of my best friend and long-term aviation + trusted closest mate Turbo, which of the following dictionary definitions of Turgid is the most appropriate?

Turgid - Swollen and distended or congested.

Or

Turgid - Tediously pompous or bombastic.

Or

Turgid - Just our same loveable & loyal mate, Turbo.

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........into a Number 3 ACME Juicer.

This of course just represented another challenger to the inventive minds of the ......................

..... TurgidPlonker's management team, and when I use the word "Team" I am actually referring to .....

5 hours ago, onetrack said:

......those countries where ruthless dictators still mostly ruled. However, in those countries, once the dictator was paid off, it was perfectly acceptable for the KFS to proceed unimpeded, as most of the populations of those countries wouldn't have known the difference between a Kiwifruit, a Grapefruit, or a Pineapple, even if one was shoved........

Cappy admires & respects everything about 1Root and normally believes all that he writes, however Cappy tried it and can now report that there is an enormous difference between a Kiwifruit, a Grapefruit & a Pineapple when shoved ......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............challenged them to find a single grapefruit tree among any of his pineapple plantations anywhere around the world. "I'm not on trial here; you are!" he said, and they were convinced because thy all had their little secrets such as.......... 

..... the great Kiwi-Fruit Scam (KFS) where Turbo's 100% Aussie owned Te-Fungere Maori Controlled Corporation (the TFMCC) had used AOC & Ilhan Omar as the faces of their promotions in ...........

ALL TURBO DID WAS PHOTOSHOP A KIWIFRUIT IN FRONT OF EACH OF THE GOBS IN THE BELOW PICTURE & KIWIFRUIT SALES WENT THROUGH THE ROOF, WITH SUXTY THOUSAND BOXES SOLD IN THE 1ST DAY, AND TURBO NEEDING TO THUN PRAACTICE HUS NEW ZULAND AACCENT.

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....do a cavity search for weapons and drugs - because these MIB were from the TSA, and you don't want to get on the wrong side of a TSA operative, they make CASA operatives look like pussycats.

So Turbo put the TSA on the top of his list, to sell them a couple of thousand cats so that their operatives can look more pussy-like.

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

he got scratched from face to feet, so it was going to really take some innovative thinking to.......

.... protect his face & feet again, along with all of the bits in between, which were not in the best of condition and certainly need protection (or at minimum, an iodine-soaked medical dressing) ........ although last time that he tried to feed the cats pineapple juice, the cats got to Turbo's mid-section and walked away with their tails in the air, just like they do when not provided with their exact right wet or dry pussy food, so Turbo was confident that his ......

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Soon everyone was consuming pineapples, and those who didn't soon got to know the convoy of black Pineapple Chevy Suburbans where men in black would grabe you when you were watering your font garden, (which for millenials usually meant relieving themselves on a four square metre artificial grass strip), and take you to "The Pineapple Factory where they would ....................

.... bend you over and then ....

9 hours ago, onetrack said:

so all Turbo needed to concentrate on, was........

.... how to concentrate the .....

Turbs is more used to consecrating rather than concentrating as each time a new archbishop is appointed in any of the umpteen religions that are active in OZ, they call Tubb for his final approval. (He also does instant marriages in his kitsch Las Vegas style drive thru chapel just off the main street in Moorabbin). 

THIS IS WHERE TURBO DREW HIS INSPIRATION FROM, FOR THE MOORABBIN CHAPEL

EXCEPT HE USED A CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF HIMSELF INSTEAD OF ELVIS & ONESIE INSTEAD OF LIBERACE.

44 minutes ago, bull said:

Was then inserted into Turbo,s re.......................

... active ....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......about the size of a...........

..... medium sized grapefruit, that ......

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......too much dough which muffled the clackers................

.... and was also difficult to get off and get out, after that dough had been kneaded into the shape of a ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Connected with Tran’s Fresh Meat Wholesalers. A  few metres up was a tunnel connecting to the Golden Rainbow All You Can Eat For $1 Porn Clackers exta!

Note, dear NESers that there are no .....s once again. But never mind, Crappy will save the day.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

For $1 Porn Clackers

And this reminded bull of his bittersweet time working in the porn clacker business, where he was prized for his photographic clacker and where he had been compromised by ......

31 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....six blokes hit the deck, then the first one raised his hand, and motioned to the others to crawl left to find the source of the.........

..... crossfire, which was coming from the Vietnamese restaurant in Mangimupinupup, whi had a tunnel that ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

, but CT backed up his shiny new steel grey Chevrolet Silverado with the Cummins engine that made pulling stumps a breeze. He took up the slack, bull yelled "contact" and .....................

...... another bloke swore. We hooked in there for hours, then a God almighty roar. And Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon. God help me - he was goin' home in June.

Oops ....... sorry NESers, Cappy reverted automatically to the Redgum song (and respects to Frankie).

Apologies to all, and now back to Turbo's brilliant post (but never mind that Cummins are only fitted as OEM to RAMs, so bull must have done an engine swap to his Silverado) ................. bull yelled "contact" and .......