Captain

And ..... with its usual tight discipline, the NES is now back in 2-story mode.

No wonder this site is more popular worldwide that the Joe Rogan & Sam Newman podcasts combined.

1 hour ago, bull said:

....................and to get back to the story! Turbo now faced the dog head in front of him whilst thinking about hitting up Xi to host the inaugural JUST BULL flying machine competition [LONG OVERDUE AVREF] of intrepid ex ................

..... AUF types, all of whom were wearing their Wreck Flying cravats and their AOPA boxers, but while that did look to be a bit of a w@nk, all were thankful for receiving the hundreds of thousands of JUST BULL sponsorship dollars, which allowed them to ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Carlton side and Spaghetti Junction side.

However he pushed onward with the belief of "Lean left; Lean right" and this won him many .......

..... new Sovereign Citizen friends, and quite a few female admirers too, as when Turbo leaned to the left, the ladies noted that he dressed to the right (like a counterbalancing pendulum), and when he leaned to the right it flipped over like the bob in a grandfather clock ..... but with Turbo being the stud that he is, it was more like a cross between a metronome set on fast, and a feisty 8 ft King Brown trying to escape a snake keeper's bag.

However, it was Georgy T that then introduced Turdbro to the darker side of Melbournistan society, when they threw a hijab over him, went into the western suburbs and proposed some .....

..... because the Thanamopulos family were the brickies that built the Tower of Pizza, George was the ideal bloke, as a psychologist, life coach and part time Melbournistan cabbie, to help Turbo with his leaning.

Not many people know that in Vicmanistan, leaning a normal life is not what it used to be, and that is why Dezi left his job as a full time Sunday School Teacher to also try to lean a normal life, and look what happened to him.

Turbo's time in the Sovereign Citizens movement was relatively short lived, as he didnt have any more gold coins, and he leaned a bit too hard to the .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

She'd noticed some big sheds surrounded by high hedges and white painted fenced paddocks right next to the stream which was happily running down to bulls canning facility.

 

It was only after a social media campaign by customers saying just bull was P!ss, that bull rushed up to the brewery and .......

.... realized that his Equine operation (a partnership initiated by bull with an Arab Sheik and a Russian Oligarch, so there are therefore AK47s in every stall), was draining all of the horsey runoff directly down to the just bull concoction joint/Brewery ("Brewery" is a fancy term used by Turbo for what in reality is a tap, a hose, a few pots and pans, and a 2nd hand canning line).

This gave just bull what many considered to be a unique flavor and bull was keen to retain that advantage, save that tetanus is always a risk in horse poo & downstream products, but bull evaluated that risk and found that he could .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo in recent times had been following the Macdonalds principle and hiring 14 year olds for much of the ground work in his corporations.

Cappy apologizes for interjecting here, but having been contacted by numerous interstate and overseas NES readers over the past few minutes, I wish to make the following points:

1.  While Turbo has admitted here to following the "Maccas" principle, I must stress that he has not been investigated nor indicted for following the "Epstein" principle .......... although, on reflection, I do need to disclose that Tubb does have a PA who is the daughter of a Mossad agent.

2. Turbo's latest post would appear to confirm, thankfully, as it had been suspected/asserted by some of his detractors on Wreck Flying, that Tubb was not Dezi Freeman in real life.

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

Bull's "gourmet", "Just Bull" treats started selling like hot scones at a church fete. This was because all the purchasers thought they were getting a gourmet beef snack - when the truth was, Bull was simply using his name as a selling point. He thought that, because he was known worldwide due to his status on the NES, his name would supercharge sales of the treats, and........

..... that was when he developed the idea of selling a "just bull" sports caffein-based drink using the beans from his Tasmanian Coffee Plantation.

That plantation had been a bit of a failure to date, but apart from it being in the wrong soil, at the wrong elevation (AMSL - avref), at the wrong lat and long (avmapref), with the wrong temperature range, the wrong humidity and no low-paid natives to pick it, bull now realised that the advice he had received from Turbine Plantation Consultants had been a bit optimistic, and just a little .......

Here is the design that Turbine marketing came up with, although Turbine Legal advised that litigation was possibly in the pipeline.

bull didn't care as he is an aggressive no capitals risk taker.

1 hour ago, bull said:

...............Xi cut him off with a tray held out and said,,,To our esteemed guest Turbo we present the delicacy of the head with the eyes ,,all you do is prise..............

..... out & pop down each of the peepers, then shove a grape or 2 into Riny's weeping sockets, ...... and if you can get past that without having a dump, I will get out desert, which is a roadkilled (from our grill to yours) Tassy Tiger, full of natural yoghurt, that has been .....

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy looked at Turbo and Turbo said he'd prefer fish. So it started again; Turbo looked at ....

.... Xi who blinked (but nobody could see whether he actually did or not) and Xi looked at his CCP Chef before saying "Can you make these tapeworms taste rike fish?" to which the chef leplied "No wollys Boss" and the razy susan was immediatery filled with sauces and other stuff specially designed to go with that enigmatic taste that tapeworms have after they have been cooked in fish sauce.

The meal started well with a great deal of whatever is the Chinese equivalent of bon vivant, but then Tubb wanted to show off his Oxford & Cambridge trained dinner party repartee, so he introduced a mild tone of .....

Plesident Xi brinking

Plesident Xi not brinking

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

They were just on the point of shaking hands when..........

..... Wuntrak's Homestead Paddock was the site where Xi's Goldey had a cr@p on his astroturf, then dragged his bum (the Goldey, not Xi) in order to get rid of the sand and the tapeworms, before it ..... 

A typical Sunday at Onesie's joint.

That cottage is one of many used to house staff. 

The main residence is a few clicks up the driveway so as not to have to look at the common folk that keep the OT pastoral holdings some of the most efficient in the west.

But oh ........ the sand.

..... the Tolles Stlait Isrands were conquerable in their own light.

Albo immediately appointed Chris Bowen as Chief Negotiator, Xi offered him 2 superseded solar panels and the deal was sealed.

In usual Turbo style, he .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"Trump's giving me the Sh!ts" said Xi and they all agreed they were in the same boat; anyone who wears orange make up had to have some sort of problem so they came up with a plan........

..... then realised that One bin Tlack himself was a dull red ochre color from exposure to (decade after decade after decade etc (you know what I mean as there have been lots of 'em)) the prevailing WA windblown sand, bull was the colour of cooked prawns and smelt like that, or was it the Bone Bordello, and Cappy spent 6 hours a day in an electric sun-bed and mood control pod, with whale sounds and running water that makes him pee involuntarily every 40 minutes (sometimes like he used to when on a 7 hour cross-country flight in his ASW28 [avref but only GFA in relevance]).

So it was up to Turbo and Xi, who himself has a sort of dusky brown Genghis Kahn type of colouring, and after reflecting on the above it was agreed that Turbs was the only one that is still as anglo-pink as the day that he was born, even though he had ...... 

9 hours ago, bull said:

What?????

Have the visitors gone yet?  ......... As someone has eaten my grapes?

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... One bin Track .....

OT has been known for quite a while as "One bin", as being the carefree rebel that he is, OT has always put his bottles and cans in with the normal garbage.

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Trump saw OT laughing ruefully and .......

..... spoke with Be Be about Hezbollah sleeper cells in WA, being controlled by some bloke/target Ayatollah One bin Track.

Soon Onesie's phone was hacked, he had a new pager, he told his 3 favourite girlfriends not to come around to the usual love-nest (& only one at a time too for a while), plus most importantly he .......

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the Western tate itself

I assume that all NES readers are of the high IQ variety, same like the contributors, and as a follow up to Tubb's above post, all will have head of a potentate?

Well Qi has identified WA and its leaders are impotentates.

Further to the above note, I have just been informed by my media monitoring contractor (MMC) that the Shanghai Daily Bugle has reported that W-T Thorn is a good and faithful member of the Party, President Xi has full confidence in him, and Thorny is an all-around good broke, but he has appalently disappeared and was rast seen standing in front of a 150 mm howitzer down near the coast.

29 minutes ago, onetrack said:

But if we talking Taiwan, that place is diffellent story! Taiwan is thorny ploblem! That's why it important to keep Orange Hair One occupied in Middle East, so it makes easier our move into........

..... sullounding Taiwan, which as I have said is an issue I have handed over the Won-Ton Thorn, or Thorny as we call him."

"Thorny has already impremented a pran to cut off Taiwan's supply of Dim Sims, after which he will strangle their supplies of Oyster sauce and flench flies." said Xi, then he quickly added "Oh clap, Thorny thought that when I said we needed 100% of their suppry of chips I did not mean flench flies, so Thorny is a bit of a dope and I'll have him strapped to the sharp end of a cannon this arvo, then send him, or part of him, acloss the Stlait to .......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......explain the story to Chairman XI, the cause of the American Civil War, how General Ulysses S Grant  deployed his troops in battle etc, but XI brushed OT aside saying "Yeh I read it one afternoon last time I was here."

Ot's face must have dropped because he was only up to Chapter One, and ......

..... as he was sitting outside for the reading, he alraedy had Spratleys windblown sand chafing inside his undies.

But Xi just laughed at OT's discomfort and said "Werr, U R rucky that it is not led sand rike that clap that you have in the west".

Then Xi added "Hey Onesie old mate. U wanna know a rittle seclet? Western Austlaria is the onry leason why we have not yet invaded, because I'd lather have the Uiga & Tibetan issues than to have to bugger alound dearing with ....... 

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Earlier in the night Turbo mentioned that he was getting short of fuel and XI promised......

.... that Onesie could have the next batch that makes it through the Strait of Hummus.

OT settled down to wait patiently, so he borrowed War & Peace from the Spratley Book Exchange.

The book was printed in Mandarin, so with his phone he was able to translate each page and .....

OT reading War & Peace. His phone is on charge off to the right.

The following document is particularly relevant to the recent discussion, and Snarler also gets a guernsy in his dinner suit (or could that perhaps be PD?).

I am yet to speak with Johannes to see whether the character at left is meant to be Cappy, Turbs, Onesie or the bull.

59 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....Yardstick for teaching young bikies how tp enter corners with any hope of getting out and how to stck the parts trailer and camouflaging it, and how to do a pot change on the side of the road as well as .....

.... being able to be loyal to HD, even as you pick up the footpegs and other bits that have fallen off on the way to the pub.

Many Senators secretly stick up for Lidia, as she, Mehreen & Fatima are the life of the party at the Senate Easter and Christmas shindigs .... and when Lidia and he Bikie Boyfriend (BB) do their Laurel and Hardy comedy routines, the Knees-Ups really kick on, to the extent that .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.............ascerbic aim at Pauline Hanson when she started eating her fish and chips, or farm wrestling with Lidya, who was .................

.... not known to own a farm.

"Check the ROPE" said Pauline, which had been digitised and enlarged a few years in anticipation of Turbo getting elected and doing a Winston Churchill to save the country. 

The Register Of Pecuniary Entries was examined,  and it showed that Lids owned the footboards on her CFMEU boyfriend's Harley , plus her entry was wide and had been used as a ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........avoid spitting on the floor of the House.

This came to the attention of the Speaker over time, and he spoke (which was his job) to the Labor Party recommending this skinny South American, whose nickname was "Snarler" Keating, be pushed up the tree.

And so it was that Snarler .....

.... was relocated into a half-grown eucalyptus tree that was growing in a big pot at the back corner of the chamber, which was so placed as to be available to provide leaves if a short notice smoking ceremony was called for, ..... or if Parliamentarians wanted to disguise the smell of weed smoke.

A stuffed Koala made from kangaroo skin (surely an ironic feature of the Aussie tourist industry) had been zip tied into the tree by Lidya, and the other 2 non-Christian ladies had also attached a snow globe containing the likeness of the Ayatollah (they all look the same, so nobody knows which one it is).

"Snarler" (no, not Jacky Lambie) found that when perched in the 2nd Y in the tree, he could still spit on the floor and also on the back 2 rows of the Labor Party, so he made more friends due to his ....

Lid's Koala