Captain

18 minutes ago, bull said:

.......win favour with EEEaaannnnn, always has been a bit of a boot licker old Turbo said Mavis,why i remember the time he............

..... proved, well & truly, that he was a good licker, and that is why so many of .......

Crappy thanks bull for his insightful response, as with the NES being silent for as long as it has been, Crappy was moving to join the SAAA for his hit of humour.

13 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......make every person viewing the famed NES (avref) that the stall (avref) speed may not be as listed in the POH (avref) .....

...... and the incredible scenes reported 2 posts ago by OneRoute resulted in statues of CT (and what a CT he is) being pulled down by BlackJackoffsMatter, ANTIWFA, the Rag&Tube Patriots, and the ThrusterMilitia ..... plus everyone else that generally just dislikes CT (quite a few in number as it turns out, including a big very vocal group from DG [plus a couple of Directors of Flight Design too]).

"And don't think that adding all of those avrefs into your quote is going to save you either" added Turbo in an attempt to stir the pot, as he saw his opportunity to ......

26 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

Small edit here Captain. The glide ratio is more like point 43 to 1. and that's only in a thermal on a bloody hot day.

This single above post by the CT just proves what a dead-set CT he can be, as Wreck Flying erupted with filthy posts from JackOff owners correcting this slur.

1 hour ago, bull said:

...even more wonderous flying machine [avref] and soar [glref] like the........

..... latest model JackOff (43:1 Glide Ratio) as he takes me to heaven and beyond.

When he read this, Turbo became .....

1 hour ago, bull said:

so you can imagine what greeted Rachel and Gene! My god screamed ......

.... Rachel, as I have always wanted a rugged Aussie Flyboy (avref), and here is my chance to experience the wonderous Cappy and his .......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Smok started to rise

And here is Rachel wearing the very Smok that Turbo has mentioned in his post.

And it wasn't the smok that started to rise .............. just say'n.

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In this case his extensive organ tripped him up and over he went ..........

.... however, he soon regained control and finished the barrel roll once he had unraveled his tongue from his control stick (avref).

"Oh Gene" said Rachel "Erky perky, as what was your tongue doing down there near your control stick, anyway."

"Well" replied Gene "You all would if you could, wouldn't you? Even you Rachel, because there must surely have been times where even you needed to .......

RACHEL CERTAINLY HAD NO NEED BACK WHEN THIS WAS TAKEN.

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

....onniving to get a better view of Turbo who of course was not longer there having walked behind the Samola trees.

As Gene stretched to the left then to the right to try to regail sight of the target, Turbo lethim have one right in the abyss, which wasn't part of Sniper Training, but ....................................

.... a swift one to the abyss had always dropped Turbo whenever Mavis tried to kick him there and .......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....retaliate, so they rolled off the train into a ditch behind some Samola trees, which curved around in the direction of the shooter. Soon they had gone in a circle and were looking at the tight jeans of ..............................

..... Raquel Welsh & Gene Simmons, in a compromising situation, where Gene was c.......

GENE DOING HIS BEST IMPRESSION OF TURBO MAKING A POINT AT A TURBINE INDUSTRIES BOARD MEETING 

51 minutes ago, bull said:

.......what the hell was i thinking with that catnip!,,,,,,,this is getting too real !!!! ,,,,,,,,,,,,as another round sliced through........

....... Turbo's cucumber sandwich.

Turbo and the other Raj officers found this highly offensive + disrespectful and decided to ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

a sniper's bullet took off the head of the passenger next to Turbo. He had to THINK!,

Which was a problem for the passenger when he had been JFK'd.

51 minutes ago, bull said:

plenty of commas  here Cappy if ya wanna borrow a couple? by the way thanks for your obvious concern for my welfare "deathbed" lol,,,,,,,,,,,

Do not be concerned bull, as Cappy specializes in mock concern and fake caring.

Cappy also reactivated his comma supply contract but when he used ten of them, this happened. ,,,,,,,,,, COMMA USE WARNING - 1st Strikethru use and your membership will be withdrawn after 3 attempts. Eeeeeean and the other Moderatti Illuminatti Wankeratti must be cracking down on comma use post covid & in the leadup to the Brisbane Olympics.

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....ability to recognise anyone, since the zig zag geography and interplay of charaters has become mind boogling to the point that Turbo was catching a bus in the southern area of Afghanistan, and suddenly thought:

 

"Where am I?

What am I doing here?

Where am I going?"

 

He realised he had no answers to these questions. Realising he had rather a long, large bag, he looked inside and found a 50 cal. sniper rifle, good for 4 km. He looked out the window and 4 km away was ...................

 

..... a well-known Warlord with the unusual name (in Afghanistan) of Abdullah Cook, and Tubb realised that the Cooks had been sewing their plentiful, virile and particularly fertile seed at every chance they got, and there were plenty, around .....

Cappy feels empathy for Turbo, as Cappy sometimes also finds issues to be excessively boogling.

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

talking of pussycats, turbo has obviously been on a ,,,,,,

,,,,,, katnip binge which appears to have affected his ....

The Only-ever-had-1-Root's use of so many commas has exposed supply chain issues for those items  & Crappy ran out.

12 minutes ago, bull said:

.Turbo had been at the catnip too ,,,,god knows what little jimmy c had been doing with the matrons of Mer,[if you had ever been there you would know how much of a  "challenge" this would be for little Jimmy. Now as Turbo has totally confused the NES with his posting ,he can clear this up himself....................

 

.... because it is obvious to all that the Matrons of Mer had grabbed bull's attention and raised him from his deathbed (well, his pretty-crook-bed anyway) to submit the above post.

dont you worry about that said bull in a punctuation-less jo-like type of frenzy, there are a lot of similarities between the matrons of mer and the bone cwa netball team, and I can tell all nesers that ......

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

......mpits. But it wasn't the flight suit with the 2-way zipper that made Cappy look like a modock - it was the large flap sewn into the...........

... rear of his own empennage (avref) with the words 10 degrees, 20 degrees embroidered onto the front of his undies near the lever that he used to p......

1 hour ago, bull said:

sad  it  was to see the captain battling to  look like a real "pilot: in his.........

...... flight suit with a 2-way zipper that started below his collar and disappeared right up his ......

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....there was no-one left within earshot to hear what he read out. Accordingly, Turbo added a substantial amount of extra information to what he read out, which wasn't in the document he was reading.

... just like he does in the NES.

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

Turbo went on - there was to be a fee of $150 included with each application for reparation monies, and this fee was to be in cash (not cowrie shells or kind), and it was also non-refundable if the application was refused. One thing Turbo did fail to mention in his reading, was that only .......

..... those with over $2 million in their self managed Super Funds might apply.

Turbo then went on with some interesting logic of how he was saving the Mer community from the clutches of Albo and little Jimmy C (Chalmers not Cook), and how .....

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....ensure that New Guinea opposum was placed on the Endangered and Threatened Species list, and thus would never appear on any menu in any civilised region, ever again.

 

However, this political decision meant little to the bone-pointers and legal system manipulators of Mer, and before long they were again........

.... hitting up the Opossums (who are reasonably skint & really just happy to be alive each morning) for a back hander under the fashionable legal term of "reparations",  which, according to Turbo, means .....

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....in his own modest and thinking way, he has always managed to convince interested people that Mer is 176 km away from Australia and its airport beyond the reach of a well flown Tyro, and therefore belongs to Papua New Guinea which is closer from the days when the British sent a gunboat to stop the pointing the bone ceremonies Mer was famous for.

He cleverly convinced 56 Members of the House of Lords to fly to Mer, and chartered a Jetstar aircraft to take them there from Great Britain. The aircraft developed a technical fault, and Qantas agreed to fly in two mechanics some time in the next month, and by the time the British Prime Minister had been able to fly they all back five weeks later they were sixk of fruit bat soup, New Guinea opossum, and betel nuts, and in a single vote ...........

..... they took the momentous decision to .....

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Sir Joseph Banks recorded the statement in case there were any problems in the coming centuries, and .......

..... Joe also recorded it on a wax cylinder (which Jim was cranking) that has recently been rediscovered and which will form part of Turbine, Turbine & Turbine's legal challenge in the really really high High Court to overturn the Mabo decision.

Turbo also plans to use his elevated position (he sits on a cushion in the throne on the left) in the House of Lords to overturn the high High Court's decision is necessary, because he reckons that ........

THAT'S TURBO, ABOUT HALF WAY DOWN, SITTING ON HIS CUSHION.

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

and the only reason we don't have Bush Tucker fast food shops today is because........

..... "it's too hard digg'n up them grubs, eh, when you already got free Landcruiser?"

That and the fact that the Bush Tucka Aboriginal Cooperative has been in court for the past 26 years due to management infighting and a dispute between the mobs within the BTAC about who's turn it is to be boss cocky and how they are going to .........

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the fertiliser; the BS we are famous for; find the BS and you'll find corn and our corny ................

....... history is reflected in the manner in which we laser leveled the Nullabor hills using the rainbow grader to produce cornfields as far as the eye could see (that is why we had to kill every last one of the Diprotodons, because the useless big lumps were eating all of our corn).

Corn was also the basis for our dot paintings with each dot symbolizing each grain of corn after we took it off the cob (hence the name Cobb & Co, which was the 1st Aboriginal Travel Corporation (ATC ..... a bit like Flight Centre) and their staff were called 'Cobbers", a name that you took & used without paying reparations ...... and that is another example of where you white fellas have stolen from us.

[The 2 b's in Cobb means lots of corn ......... just like the 2 Ls in bull])."

As NESers can see Lydia is not only good in the .......

THE LAST ONE OF THE CORN GOBBLERS, ABOUT TO BE EXTINGUISHED

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Lydia's audience which included Albo, who was after every vote, and four people from Yackandanda..............

..... who were still protesting about the boys riding through their quiet little village on the way to and from Phillip Island for the MotoGP and the Superbikes.

Then Lydia continued "And that is why I stopped dating the head sherang of the Monguls one percenters until be renamed his bikie gang the Mayans, ....... and he did, of course, because he wanted more of my sweet .............

42 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......gun holsters; never guns. It implied they might be gunfighters who'd had their pieces confiscated at the door, and their Tortillas came twice as fast with all the hot sauces, and ..................

.... this led to the massive popularity of the WE WOULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER OFF IF WE HAD BEEN CONQUERED BY THE SPANISH movement, as everyone knows that Tappas is so much better for indigenous populations than is Steak & Kidney Pudding.

"If the Spaniards had ruled the roost here, we would have built huge temples in the Nullarbor jungle, just like the Mayans did" said Lydia "And that infers that .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......lizard chucked on a fire diet had changed to Paellas and Tortillas and where Spanish words like "brother" and "deadly" were heard frequently. Dress code was......................

..... high heeled boots and a bullfighter's outfit, with a few of those Shish Kabab things that they stick into the bull's neck to make them cranky.

On the other hand, the men often wore .......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

This habit continued down the ages until the Aborigines were able to buy fly spray from the local supermarket, and continues today as a nice touch to the typical $750 Welcome to Country ceremony now used by a lot of Councils to save the overworked Mayors saying "Good afternoon Constituents" and ............

...... this historic association between the Spanish & our aboriginal brothers led to the establishment of the chain of very popular Bush Tucka Tappas Bars (BTTBs) across Australia, where their ...... 

8 hours ago, Captain said:

as the original goals were shown using smoke signals).

.... hence the current scoring system styled after the original 6 puffs for a goal and 1 puff for a behind