Captain

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

As the Turbo name came into view he realised that even if you were caught short for a sheet of toilet paper, Turbo was the only source of supply the App looked for, so Cappy...........

....... realised for the 1st time that Turbo is either Jeff Bazos (in drag .... NTTIAWWT) or his Turbazon distribution network made Amazon look puny, or ..........

FURTHER RESEARCH BY CAPPY AFTER THIS POST HAS DISCLOSED THE BELOW YACHT 

ON THE AUSSIE REGISTER OF SHIPPING. SHE IS CALLED TURBINIA AND IS REGISTERED TO AN ANONYMOUS (TYPICAL OF TURBO'S MODESTY) MOORABBIN BUSINESSMAN. SO OUR MUCH BELOVED AND VERY OWN TURDBOY IS ACTUALLY JEFF BAZOS BUT WITH LESS HAIR.

THE BLOKE THAT WE NOW KNOW TO BE TURBO, LOOKING A BIT SMUG AFTER MAKING A KILLER POST, RIPPING IT UP SOMEBODY ON WRECK FLYING.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......saw the Corsair perched in a tree. Thinking he finally had a mate, he sat on it and ...............

..... the 50 cal Gatling gun (the Corsair had been masterfully upgraded by Crappy) pumped 400 rounds per second into that tender spot right between his XXXX and his ........

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....although Cappy hadn't been a genuine Bader whose members had to cut off both legs, Cappy was certainly a legend on Bora Bora where he'd landed to refuel, hit the turps and been found in the Chief's teepee, but that's another story that.....................

...... Mrs Chief promised not to tell.

However, the news was not all good and the shindig on the turps was a little preliminary, as a noise was heard deep in the Bora Bora hinterland, and just like there was always one Japanese soldier fighting on after WW2, until 1964, ("Why you keep laising that Clappy" asked Nobu "He was vely blave ..... and certainly quite persistent"), the noise indicated that one huge and very cranky Coo-kaburra had survived (like so many other stories of WW2, this Coo-kaburra was fortuitously off in the karzy checking out Facebook when Cappy attacked out of the sun, and he just thought that he had followed thru with a big one when all the noise happened.

"That was a good one" he cooed, and then he opened the huge dunny door to see the result of Crappy's great airmanship. It was then that he ......

..... to deny his inane skills & bravery.

As reported by Turbs, Crappy had destroyed all of the Bora Bora Coo-kaburras, and it is now totally accepted that the Japanese 5th Fleet, which comprised 6 carriers, 5 frigates and 10 destroyers,

had disappeared in 1943 as a result of numerous attacks by Coo-kaburras. 

The fact that Crappy kicked their massive areses single handed, with minimal use of his precious ammo, was a matter of Dougy Bader type legend and .....

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The cooing sound started again and all three of them raced down the creek.........

....... where a Coo-kaburra was eating a wilderbeast.

The Bora Bora Coo-kaburras had evolved from the rather pathetic Aussie Kookaburras that bludge for meat on the rail on your balcony, into one of the most efficient predators in the South Pacific (Great White sharks are like goldfish to them), they can eat half a wildebeest in one sitting plus have been known to .......

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........knowing they have deep pockets, but not knowing what's in them because in the thousand or so times the deep pockets have been mentioned we've never heard what they contain.

Just the, as if he may have been eavesdropping a little man with beady eyes dressed in a light brown uniform came walking up the track, cane in hand. "Good Morning, my name's Rick, and I'm from CASA" he said, and Turbo noticed that he had deep pockets, not only in the safari coat, but on the thighs and ................

....... Turbo could see the CASA Brown-Shirt's hand deep down in those pockets.

Then Turdy, ever the diplomat, looked away and said subtly "Are you just pleased to see me, are you looking for your CASA Regulation Charge Book (the dreaded CRCB), or are you actually fiddling with your ........

TURBO GIVING AND EARLIER EXAMPLE OF POCKET BILLIARDS

WITH THE ARROW POINTING TO THE PRIZE.

..... Cappy launched into her Grammy winning version of Joline.

"I quite like being the Dolly that I am" Cappy/Dolly said "And I have always reckoned that big t.........

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy ...........

..... ever the mate, yet a tough bushman at heart, looked at Turbo, looked for the camera, considered the copyright income, looked at the excruciating pain in Turbo's handsome eyes and it was too much for Cappy.

He went for the money shot & wriggled Turbo's arm, perhaps a little more than was essential to get a bit more corpuscles into the shot, then ...........

23 minutes ago, Captain said:

"Joys of Crytics"

.......... Joys of Cryptics ........... (bloody computers).

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The Tongs onsold it to CASA for a quick mil. and then they ...........

...... started a new round of their "We are from CASA, we are on your side (really and truly), and we are here to help you enjoy your flying more" roadshows at every flying club and major, minor and poxy-little airport and grass strip around OZ.

since when does a message that says do what we say or the wilderbeasts will eat you add to the freedom aviation (avref) experience asked bull at the AUF AGMs that he always attends, ........ then often gives a 2 hour (sometimes extending to 3 if he really gets going) dissertation on the "Joys of Crytics".

Onesie couldn't resist piping up, and that CT from DG did the same "The subliminal message in Dave's film, and which CASA has latched on to, is that the bigger the .......

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......seen a wilderbeast before. David Attenborough just happened to be having a drink at the stream; "Nor have I" he said and Cappy kicked his deck chair over, starting a fight which spread to ...............

........ National Geographic, Jaques Cousteau (respects) , Alby Mangles, Hans Tholstrup and the Leyland Brothers.

"The problem here" said Dave A "Is that there are no animals to eat the wilderbeasts, and I like filming animals as they catch and eat other animals while still alive."

"We'll eat 'em, quick stix" volunteered the Chief. So Dave got out his box brownie. "Make sure there is lots of suffering and gore" directed Dave ....... and with that, another edition of "Life-on-Earth" was assured to be ........

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo agreed to come with Cappy and show him where the creeky herds could be found.

The natives were then heard to say in broken English "Worry not about the "creeky herds", eh chaps. We have been invaded by creepy nerds (AUFref).

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

That sounds creeky to me" said Cappy relieved

.. and Turbo turned, disgusted,"You can't do that near this pristine water, and besides, while carrying you it went all down my back.

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

As the looked down the stream a herd of ..........

..... wilderbeast appeared.

"Well I'll be buggered" said the Chief "I've never .......

And here, dear Readers, is the reason why Ratty and Turdboy are so close and have been for many decades.

They both posted at the same time and were obviously copasetic.

However Turdy has strayed from the path of NES (nesref) righteousness & skipped a post, so NESers need to still address the issue of the cryptic "creeky herds gather there".......

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo kindly pretended to be dreaming and asked if anyone had a map of the Whitsundays because his mate was sailing his yacht through there next weekend, but .........

..... everyone looked at him with a blank stare & dribble in the corner of their mouths (CASAref), because the Turdy/Ratty close interaction was well known (some even suspected that there might be a gay relationship involved [NTTIAWWT]), and because of his super respected position within the aviation (avref) community & his total eminence in the Wreck Flying Forum Mob, Turbs was never (ever) questioned, and if he said a yacht was sailing through the WhitSundays (sailingref) next weekend, then that is what is happening, yacht or no yacht, and ......

15 minutes ago, Captain said:

didnt realise that the crapster was so dumb said bull and the ......

........ answer still had to be found to the cryptic "creeky herds gather there"........

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........way with "think it through; creeky herds gather there............

...... and with that Crappy fell to his knees with new respect for bull.

"Geeez" said Ratty to himself "bull was referring to cryptic crosswords and for all these years I have been unable to ever get 1 cryptic answer correct, even after sitting with a couple of mates almost every Saturday morning for the past 5 years, to do the Quizz and the crosswords".

i didnt realise that the crapster was so dumb said bull and the ......

4 hours ago, bull said:

....but nah ! nothing so wolf creeky but herds gather there ,said bull [ever thee master of the crossword in his younger days] that's me answer ya getting ,,work it out!....Now this soon attracted the attention of Cappy and he..................

..... wondered at bulls prowess with the crosswords.

"I guess that you don't need any punctilliation with crosswords" Crappy pondered "And you can just make the words fit into the tiny little boxes, so it's a win-win always win, for our close frend bull"

bull took offence that Ratty thought he may have cheated when he won the Bone International X-word Contest (the BIXC) at the age of 6 (which he modestly refers to as his "younger days", as modesty is a hallmark of bull's persona) and bull therefore responded to Crappy with his typical ......

1 hour ago, bull said:

,sheilas all down the East coast of Australia who had.................

......... given up on having a "good time" since bull had moved to Tazzy.

They were so sad that they all sat in the sun looking at their maps of Tasmania, to try to see where he had ......

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......sh.....sh.......sh.....sh......[MOD2] train wheel. We just found out that Rob was squashed by the Jamaica Plain Special this morning. So we will neven know the RoB's innner feelings, although he left a trail of .............

..... sh.......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..........it authority ticket collector who moonlighted at the Rat of Boston, a well -known mass murderer of the 1930s who drove a Cadillac de Salle and flew his own Staggerwing Beechcraft until .................

..... someone also called him a Bi (avref) whereas he should called him a Stag (avref),and when you do that to RoB you just know that the fan (avref) is about to be hit by half a ton of sh........

1 hour ago, bull said:

.....was seen to turn purple and Turdy rushed to stop him from...........

....... exposing the fact that QWERTY was actually half-a-line short of a typewriter (halfasandwicheshortofapicnicref), and was hiding the fact that he had unceremoniously dumped UIOP[]\ in a fit of pique. He was therefore denying his/her heritage, which these days is akin to refusing to accept that Mickey Mouse was actually a trans.............

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...  .. .                                              *

.... then --- 

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........go there every day to meditate and when I look out at the crooked shoreline of Bass Strait, I .......................

 

..... am inspired to also be crooked which means that i can ......

(full stops/dod dot dots only added for effect and in accord with the rules of the NES, so respects to bull and I hope he is not offended)

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Big Oil Spill."

When the People read Gill's comments in the Daily Rup, they blocked the talk-back radio stations around Australia expressing their joy at this new form of identification for what used to be known as Australian Rules Football before Australia's name was changed to ..........................

.... the First Nations White Guilt Football Leage (FNWGFL).

"That's much better" said Gill "As those Australians that are mentioned in the AFL's current name were white oppressors, and we know that in Tasmania, bull and his cronies did major wipe-out damage to our 1st Nations cousins".

hang on there said bull indignantly me and my buddies have never been surfers and i know for a fact that the native tasmanians (respects etc .... as this part of the NES includes reference to persons who may be deceased) never surfed at shipstern bluff nor at the wedge, and i know that to be a fact because i .........

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... the Press and say nothing will change in the League, and then learn how to stick the knees and elbows out in the Welcome to Country dance while inhaling burning camel dung and date palm leaves, and ......................

.......... Gil immediately accepted the recommendations in this post from Turbo.

"Turdboy is a creator and is a real go-getter & an achiever. He gets things done." said Gill. "That's why we have always wanted him to choreograph the opening ceremony and the Welcome-to-Country celebrations in OZ, so that white Aussies will always feel guilty for being born. .......... Plus we want him onto the AFL Board, if only to suck him dry for sponsorship money from Turbine Industries, as the "TI Redbacks from Risdon" has a real marketing ring to it. Just imagine how the crowd would respond to Turbo's other suggestion of an "Explosives Vest Dance", a Prettiest Goat Parade (PGP), and the ...........

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

bombchucker camel arced his arm right back and ............

...... punched the air.

"Elon Musk and SpaceX/Starlink are great, but we haff just proven that we haff the potential to undertake commercial space launches direct from the middle east .......... even iff it is 1 customer at a time".

Gill was impressed and wrote on his drink coaster "Develop a 'Welcome to Country' and a "Smoking Building Ceremony" for Iraq", send Buddy and Garry over to support the Redbacks and the CrockJumpers respectively (give 'em $20 million each), and contact ......