Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... that he had written in the cab on the way to the studio, titled "I have the hots for you Delta" and although he was actually referring to the Nile delta, the song got Crappy into the .....
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Apologies CT, as I jumped you. It is me who is the CT on this occasion. .... implement, that is .....
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.... all and sundry. "Are you Cappy or Fabio?" asked OT "As I have never been able to tell you two apart, then he threw himself down at Cappy's/Fabio's feet and said "I'm busting to come back into the NES, so keep writing me in until I am there in person." "No wuckers" responded cappy/Fabio in his sophisticated Italian accent, as he molded half a kilo of dried cat poo into a snow globe model of the Grail inside the Sistine chapel, and then ..... Is that Fabio or Cappy? I think Cappy, as he has a shirt & chest that are identical to that.
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.... decided to build his own Grail and house it in a new pilgrim friendly temple complex down near the cat poo drying yard at the farm. (The term pilgrim-friendly just means including concession & Icon sales stands, one of which will sell dried cat poo molded into appropriate religious relics). Turb's plan was then to have Crappy invoke all sorts of goodness and holiness onto and into the Grail before the cats started to use it as a scratching post. The plan was going well, Cappy was all loaded up with holiness & bon-vivant, which he was ready to project, and now the only thing left was to .......
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As you know, dear Turbo, I have never made a big thing of my numerous PhD's, as I prefer to fly (avref) under the radar. But, in future, please do not invoke my lad's name in vain.
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Which is not a simple task, as the entire joint is covered in moss and mildew so that it looks like one large bankrupt Munster's house where Frau Blucher has taken up residence. .... they had become fixated by the family of Crustose lichens and had totally ignored the more vitally important Foliose & Fruticose types and had therefore missed out on being able to process Xanthoria parietina, Usnea barbata, Cladonia cristatella, Lobaria pulmonaria and Rhizocarpon geographicum, which all show that while usually very astute, TI can also be total ...... Frau Blucher was HOT.
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... men work hard and most speak 4 to 6 languages as they drive in the dog spikes and sing all-the-live-long-day type railroad songs, so the limitations/dearth of Melbournistan language skills means that Melbournistan and Mextoria both lag the average linguistic ability of the rest of the nation. Tubb's mention of Marathi, Hindi, Gujarati and Irdu means that I am released from my NDA and can mention one of Turbine Industries rare failures (about which not many people know), and about which I was heretofore sworn to secrecy ..... and that is that one of TI's rare business failures was when they bought up 100% of Nepal as part of a corrupt deal with the Dali Lama, in order to harvest all of the lichen, and ended up cornering the world market. However, except for a need in the perfume industry for lichen to be refined as a fixative, and in the pharmaceuticals & nutraceuticals game where usnic acid is extracted for use as a wound dressing, TI soon found that not everyone (it was classed as "bugger all" in the Board Report) gets turned on by a sizeable pack of moist lichen down their undies (although there are certainly some, NTTIAWWT) and TI soon gave Nepal back to be pillaged again by China. However, Turbo kept a personal 1500 te lichen stash for use by consenting adults, and that was .......
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.... for some nubile young Akela to teach him how to .....
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..... he realized that he still had 25 kgs of lichen dangling out of his shorts (it hung down to his knees, oh). And even to this day, as an ascribed aftereffect of his service, the British VA send Turbs 50 kgs of moist lichen each fortnight, in order that he has keep the hole filled so that it stops its infernal weeping (he still pokes it in with a stick, but now it's a walking stick) and ......
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....., from Turbo's post, readers can see and evaluate the aftereffects of shellshock and being plugged in the freckle, as Turbo had given his all up the Khyber and now often awakens during the night (not that I'm ever close by, but also NTTIAWWT) when the aftereffects of Tubb's brave service now comes out as .....
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.... nobody was allowed to go to any area of conflict because it is dangerous & uninsurable. All weapons had to be decommissioned too, Semtex was converted into playdough, Sergeants were banned because they yelled and used naughty confrontational words, and no live ammo could be ......
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.....Not say "Hey everyone, get a wiff of this" because while bull could also be silent but deadly (another reason why he was drummed out of the Submarine Service ..... and also from conducting confessions in his church over a long day .... as many parishioners had said the would rather donate $20,000 to Peter's Purse, than stay in a confined space with bull and his diabolical phlat.....
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..... bull, who had been setting records for noise and strength since he was at kindy. i know said bull and miss wilson reckoned that something had crawled up there and died, even when i was only 6. that scars a boy/man dont ya know and also contributes to why bull cannot get or keep a crew on the trawler as if he lets fly he can scorch the prawns before they are frozen and who wants to be at sea for weeks with someone like that so bull pledged to make a conscious effort to .....
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..... Pina is the top barmaid at the Mission Beach pub. " I am Spanish" said Pina when bull tried to chat her up "And my brother Jose Coladas is the bouncer, so watch your p's and q's." i dont use ps or qs replied bull, and he ....... Is any NESer able to advise why Turbs has gone to the trouble to specifically mention "a Rotary Engine Drifter" in his above magnificent post, as I thought, as a mere simple engineer and barrister that all engines rotate .... unless seized. MODERATOR 13 - We note the excessive use and wastage of dots/full stops in the TurgidPlonker's last post, and this needs to stop fully. Disciplinary action will be discussed at the next full meeting of the Moderratti.
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.... that had proven positive to ciguatera. "I think that she doesn't like me" Cappy said to bull, who had fallen asleep, gone off course chasing prawns and had pulled into Vava'u harbour for a sleep and a wark. dont worry skipper said bull as we can get on the turps together here and have such fun that we wont need to look at the nes for a fortnight and that means that turbs will be up in ..... cappy now likes to type using the bull school as leaving out all capitals and punctiliation means that one saves a quarter of the required key strokes. bull is onto something.
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.... a surprise when he got there and asked her for a dance at the local Saturday Market, and she said "Erky perky, I don't want to do my grandpa, and I don't dance with wrinkly old men." "But I'll do you a deal that not many people know about" he replied "So what if you go ......
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....lying high (avref X 2) and not looking at all like a ponce. (Crappy had to mention that as he often goes the topknot/Samuri look in order to cover up his bald spot. As a result, Crappy has registered (r) the term Combover Topknot (CT) and OT was about to introduce the CT look to the west before he buggered off back into the wilderness of WA, where it would have known as a WACT). Given the Japanese escaped plisoner histoly of Cowla, the CT was all the rage and every cocky within 100 miles (many of whom wondered about their parentage when they saw an AI enhanced and colourised photo of Nobu) has a Japanese ute, a netsuke on their belt, a CT (and so did their kelpies) and a hidden version of ...... Here is the most popular netsuke in Cowla, which depicts a Board Meeting of the AUF, prior to the Canberra cleanout and the name change.
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I'm not, nor have I ever been, an insinuator, and certainly both of these contributors deserve their privacy, but what (NTTIAWWT) was Turbo doing or contemplating (NTTIAWWTE) when he took that photo of bull.
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.... sporting ponytails and were fringeless, and after that, all pilots with topknots (Samuri style) were admitted to the test group because they fitted in so well, as all of the CSIRO Johnnies and Johnettes doing the research were already certified A grade gold plated warkers. Topknots on pigeons is an OK concept for efficient flight, but on fringeless AUF & Wreck Frying pilots, the concept was less than .....
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... Where everyone wondered why some dopy scientist would choose to name these critters Thylecines when there is another totally different one named a Thylocine, which are also endangered because they are the source of the world's supply of Thylonol, so are milked like a snake and then despatched with a ball pane chisel, which is ....
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.... warks until he drops.
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That's a tough but challenging tradition Turbs. You must have a faulty key on your typwriter, as on my tablet your r looks identical to an n.
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Just 11 pages to go to reach 1000, Turbo, dear friend, Turbine family patriarch, colleague, target, and best mate. We'll be there by Friday fortnight.
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.... due to the fact, ..... and not many people know this ....., that the Japanese have good melons, and take their Samuri histoly vely seliousry, by pleserving the ......
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.... from just one little acorn, a magnificent oak tree may grow, ..... as Julius Caesar once said. In Turbo's case, even the acorn had a termite and a staph infection, and that .....
