Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... Canjeros and a liberal quantity of Muufo making a magnificent spread on a long table, with it all washed down with camel milk and shaax soomaalia, so "Machete schmachete" they thought "Let's get into the ethnic tucker and we'll worry about the cut & chop-chop when we have to .....
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.... the devolution of these procedures by VicPol, CASA & Turbine Security as part of a triumvirate shared initiative to oppress the plebs, and to ......
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..... became a bit of a movement that made regulation a necessity. "We can't have kids building circuits and oiling them, Willy-Nilly (or Achmed-Nilly), then using the pyramids or the sphynx as corner markers, so we need some form of control & scrutineering" said Josephus bin Offenhauser. As a result, the Confederation of Alexandrian Camel Sport (CACamS), the Alexandrian National Camel Racing Association (ANCRA), and the Alexandrian Speedway Association were formed. By demand, high-speed hieroglyphs were developed to resolve dead heats. Two new companies were formed in Alexandria, which at that time was the stockmarket & venture capital center of world trade (it really kicked on after the Lighthouse was commissioned), so when Kodak and Hasselblad both floated on the Alexandrian Exchange, this caused the prices of racing camels (particularly Supermodified Camels) into the ......
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Which is the type of tactics that Turbo needs to use these days in the bedroom too.
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Crappy is sorry to advise that the breeding program has so far been unsuccessful, as none of the cows like Turbo, even after he took them out to dinner down in the back paddock.
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..... a barrier to the sale of khakpyrus, which then became the staple for printing Bibles, Korans, and the new Playboy mags (it is new news for the NES, but Turbine Publishing have bought the rights from Hugh & Turbs is hereafter to be known as Heff). Khakpyrus also became popular for ..... (Turbo, ever astute as always, immediately bought an extra 10,000 trampling cows, which have bigger feet than normal cows, and he started a breeding program accordingly).
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.... get Thin Arthur, Flange Desire & Kid Eager to do the job, and that will ....
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Dear NESers. The above excellent and insightful contribution by our premier NES contributor has gone thru to the keeper and deserves further comment as a tribute to our great mate (GM) Turbo. The "Classic Cats Vault" is like Madame Tussaud's joint, except it is full of statues of Sam Newman, Gary Ablett and his Dad, plus 20 or 30 other top players. Below is a photo of Sam's statue. Pretty lifelike eh?
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.... another smooth ....
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.... "Hey, I .....
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..... nip and tuck a Somali Warlord without having a machete or a shaped charge IED shoved up his .....
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.... to the right of Goering, has Malcy Turnbull traits, and flies (avref) a homemade square-tube Gyro powered by a blue-head that he found at the tip. But Morton was astute when it comes to circumcision, so he pointed out to Abdullahi that the rules up north are that the Gipa Gapa will whip the end off with an oyster shell, plus carve the lines of a noughts & crosses game into his chest using that same bit of shell. As a result of learning of the above, Abdullahi called OT, who is somewhat expert on such things, and after saying "Blessings OT, how are they hanging?" he added "And what do you know about this ..... The below lines were for playing Snakes and Ladders, but you know what I meant. The kiss-curl was to look cute and get chicks.
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.... the meeting deteriorated into a normal one for the Gipa Gapa Bone Pointing Corporation, not appreciating that Abdullahi, the Somali Warlord, had commissioned his hackers (electronic in this case, and not machete) to crash (avref) the meeting to learn of the ways of the ......
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.... used to be Sergent-at-Arms in the Hells Angels, and his approach in this meeting was to put on his leather vest which was patched by Zoom and by Teams with a "500 yard stare" badge where his "1 %ters" badge was. Turbo laughed at the screen and .....
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.... like the Captain of a Prawn Trawler [or ... the captain of a prawn trawler], but the Zoom (avref) mafia cut across the call and said that Syvia-Jo needs to calm down and put those cheeks away, then the controller turned his/her attention to Turdy and exhibited a cynicism rarely seen before on .....
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..... Aunty sent him an invite setting a schedule to call him up on an MS Teams conference call where all of the other Aunties would each be included, and they could then all stare at Turbo, each with a 435-yard stare, and point heaps of bones at him. Turbo was more worried about that Teams call than his meeting that morning with the machete carrying Samali warlord from Tullamarine, who needed Turbo's advice on remaking that community's image, and for Turbo to use his considerable influence to get the Samali community an entry into the 2026 SuperCars competition, where Al-Shabaab would be their main sponsor, and where one of their getaway drivers would be given a run. So, Turbo set his Teams meeting background image to be a working-class ally in Moorabbin, and ......
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Below is the stingray barb that the Gendarme plunged into Tubb's thigh, here cleaned up to remove the bits of our mate that remained attached to the barbs. This is the real version as housed in the Eaton Alumni Old Boys Club, and the one in the Speedway Hall of Fame is an exact copy. For those concerned NESers that have contacted me, the name of "Tubb" was given as a mark of respect by the enlisted men up the Khyber. It was a bit like calling a red headed person "Bluey", as Turbs was always the model of regimental fitness and remain so, even now, as the ladies of Moorabbin know to their cost.
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..... with the deft touch of the FFL (and their distinctive hats), the Gendarme speared him in the thigh using what Tubb recognized was a Gipa Gupa barbed spear, which used the type of barb that got Steve. "What did you do that for?" asked Tubb with his usual calm grace of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. "Auntie Joan at Gipa Gupa is an Auntie of mon, and she sent me a Kadaitcha telepathic message ........ but backed it up via Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp and Tiktok, to deliver justice for her, as she has evidence that you jumped the start during that race up there. Turbo, ever the brave soldier, took out his Leatherman and pulled out the barb without even saying "F..... The very Kepi blanc that the Gendarme wore while spearing Tubb, now housed in the Speedway Hall of Fame, with the barb from the stingray.
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.... had to drive his Bedford car transporter from Manchester to Avignon where a 100 lap Super-Modified race was to be held in the courtyard of the Palais des Papas, and where the winner would be made a Cardinal with a ticket thru the Pearly Gates. Turbo thought that was a ....... Turbo's Super-Modified on its wheels and undinged .......... for once. Here at the practice track at the back tradesman's entrance to the Pope's Palace. As you can see, Turbo was a bit of a porker (Muslimaversionref) in those days.
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It is Turbo and Turbine Optometry that have promoted the BS of the "Thousand Yard Stare" as a real consequence of battling various natives in out-of-the-way places (perhaps such as Daraweit Guim) and driving longish distances in a truck while hoping that the chassis doesn't crack (again). In truth Turbo stares because he can be a little bit vague at times and his Bipolar affliction might be about to transition him into his Savant state (think Dusty Hoffperson in "Rainman").
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.... because, over there they specialise in snails, Mirages (avref), astacus leptodactylus, cuisses de grenouille, Airbuses (avref), surrender, and ....
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.... when you are on a Fly (avref) in Fly (avref) Out (FIFO) contracts and fresh Geraldton crayfish is on the menu every day, you .....
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.... bull, who had amassed a fortune in Bitcoin, so was comfortably well off and just bought a couple of trawlers for fun, was drawn into BITJOCK because, as he so often explains to Cappy, he loves decentralized digital currency that enables peer-to-peer transactions without the need for a central authority like a bank or government. "i hate the gumment" said bull as he explained his fundamental philosophies for success in the digital space, and then he stunned Crappy by adding ".....
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.... because the story reached legendary status, and every Cadillac in Washington used zip ties to add a set of undies, with skiddies, on their bonnets .... all a bit like Esso did with the tiger-tails in your tank. In a press conference Kev proudly commented that this was about the pinnacle of his career and as a result, following advice from Turbine Marketing, Kev went all out for the Merch sales, and produced a set of red (and brown .... a colour now known in the rag trade as "Rudd's Crud") "Kev's Own" brand of undies and he even produced his own brand of named brown zip ties. Kev's standings, and bank account, went up then went stratospheric, when the trend took off in China, where he spoke the lingo, and a billion sales meant that .....
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..... Kevin's undies up the ......
