Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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... the AUF, although a rebel group (known as the TP/OT [or TeaPot] faction) has also nominated Barny-Bee for the Board, and if he does join the AUF Board plus become a member of One Nation as a result of Pauline's steak cooking skills, he will soon learn that they go together like a .......
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Thank goodness that Turbo is back, so will all of the members of Wreck Flying, & of Aircraft Pilates, stop calling me with your messages of concern. The great man is well and has just been off, down south, doing some more of his trucking BS again. To those 5 or 6 members that he has chastised previously in the technical forums, bad luck, Turbo is still alive and well.
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..... he had a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) and had voted for Active Joey Biden the Citizen's Friend, time for Hope and Change etc. However, after meeting his Special Counsel, his TDS soon morphed into Turdbro Derangement Syndrome as Tubb's blonde hair and sunbed afterglow meant that our best mate looks like a cheap cross between Andrew Peacock, Jacinta Knitajumper Price, Warren Mundine (AO, 13 Plus and Adult Advisory, PGM), bull, and .......
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Turbo raises a very poignant point and one which is often overlooked or avoided by less astute historians, as it is little known about the involvement of the Japanese contingent who were embedded in the British Army’s 12th Regiment of Foot (known subsequently as the East Suffolk Miner Killers) and the 40th Regiment of Foot who proudly added the name of 2nd Somersetshire Tent Burners to their battle flag. However, it was the Japanese within the pommy units who added the Hotbox and the Samurai Sword to their interrogation techniques. So Nobushi's sad outburst was well founded, and the Japanese were the reason that Peter Lalor lost his arm, when Nobushi's great, great, great grampy tried to behead Pete, but the sword slipped.
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Not many also know that the same thing applied back when the Eureka Stockade was underway and the Filth snuck up on the brave miners riding American horses where their shoes fell off regularly and the stirrup broke on ever 2nd ride. ("Ah, American Horses ..... turning riders into Farriers and Saddlemakers since 1749" said Sargeant Headley (Harley to his mates) Davidson, as they approached Bakery Hill and turned back to repair all the breakages).
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.... he found that their map for the Nursultan Nazarbayev International Airport in Kazakhstan would be 2 days out of date when they were halfway across the Pacific, abeam Tahiti's Faa'a International, on route to LAX. "But geez, Boy, we are only going frarm Orrstraya to Californ-I-A and we never fly (avref) to Kazakhstan" said the AA Captain (avref & Cappyref). "That matters not" replied the CASA Johnny "As you have breached rule 607.a.1,4,v.36 and I've got you by the short and curlys. When will you septics ever realize that you need to keep your ICAO GIZZ subscription up to date?" The AA Skipper (Cappyref) asked his 2nd Officer to connect him to the Turbine Family Trust, trading as Turbine Aviation Law, and the CASA FOI did a spoonful, as TAL have never lost a case and they always ........
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The Filth's fleet of BMWs are maintained by Turbine's Mechanics Co, which is modelled after the Jim's Mowing franchise, but without the grass.
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.... 10 minutes until the police car broke down or ran out of fuel, and the Premier called up and said "If that's a Somalian warlord that you are chasing, just stop, as we don't ever have any issues with that community. Instead concentrate on the subsidiary of Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, Turbine Tribal Weapons PLC, who I believe are supplying .....
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"Where the hell do we get camel milk and shaax soomaalia from?" they had thought, until they discovered Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, and bought in bulk.
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..... Canjeros and a liberal quantity of Muufo making a magnificent spread on a long table, with it all washed down with camel milk and shaax soomaalia, so "Machete schmachete" they thought "Let's get into the ethnic tucker and we'll worry about the cut & chop-chop when we have to .....
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.... the devolution of these procedures by VicPol, CASA & Turbine Security as part of a triumvirate shared initiative to oppress the plebs, and to ......
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..... became a bit of a movement that made regulation a necessity. "We can't have kids building circuits and oiling them, Willy-Nilly (or Achmed-Nilly), then using the pyramids or the sphynx as corner markers, so we need some form of control & scrutineering" said Josephus bin Offenhauser. As a result, the Confederation of Alexandrian Camel Sport (CACamS), the Alexandrian National Camel Racing Association (ANCRA), and the Alexandrian Speedway Association were formed. By demand, high-speed hieroglyphs were developed to resolve dead heats. Two new companies were formed in Alexandria, which at that time was the stockmarket & venture capital center of world trade (it really kicked on after the Lighthouse was commissioned), so when Kodak and Hasselblad both floated on the Alexandrian Exchange, this caused the prices of racing camels (particularly Supermodified Camels) into the ......
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Which is the type of tactics that Turbo needs to use these days in the bedroom too.
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Crappy is sorry to advise that the breeding program has so far been unsuccessful, as none of the cows like Turbo, even after he took them out to dinner down in the back paddock.
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..... a barrier to the sale of khakpyrus, which then became the staple for printing Bibles, Korans, and the new Playboy mags (it is new news for the NES, but Turbine Publishing have bought the rights from Hugh & Turbs is hereafter to be known as Heff). Khakpyrus also became popular for ..... (Turbo, ever astute as always, immediately bought an extra 10,000 trampling cows, which have bigger feet than normal cows, and he started a breeding program accordingly).
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.... get Thin Arthur, Flange Desire & Kid Eager to do the job, and that will ....
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Dear NESers. The above excellent and insightful contribution by our premier NES contributor has gone thru to the keeper and deserves further comment as a tribute to our great mate (GM) Turbo. The "Classic Cats Vault" is like Madame Tussaud's joint, except it is full of statues of Sam Newman, Gary Ablett and his Dad, plus 20 or 30 other top players. Below is a photo of Sam's statue. Pretty lifelike eh?
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.... another smooth ....
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.... "Hey, I .....
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..... nip and tuck a Somali Warlord without having a machete or a shaped charge IED shoved up his .....
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.... to the right of Goering, has Malcy Turnbull traits, and flies (avref) a homemade square-tube Gyro powered by a blue-head that he found at the tip. But Morton was astute when it comes to circumcision, so he pointed out to Abdullahi that the rules up north are that the Gipa Gapa will whip the end off with an oyster shell, plus carve the lines of a noughts & crosses game into his chest using that same bit of shell. As a result of learning of the above, Abdullahi called OT, who is somewhat expert on such things, and after saying "Blessings OT, how are they hanging?" he added "And what do you know about this ..... The below lines were for playing Snakes and Ladders, but you know what I meant. The kiss-curl was to look cute and get chicks.
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.... the meeting deteriorated into a normal one for the Gipa Gapa Bone Pointing Corporation, not appreciating that Abdullahi, the Somali Warlord, had commissioned his hackers (electronic in this case, and not machete) to crash (avref) the meeting to learn of the ways of the ......
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.... used to be Sergent-at-Arms in the Hells Angels, and his approach in this meeting was to put on his leather vest which was patched by Zoom and by Teams with a "500 yard stare" badge where his "1 %ters" badge was. Turbo laughed at the screen and .....
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.... like the Captain of a Prawn Trawler [or ... the captain of a prawn trawler], but the Zoom (avref) mafia cut across the call and said that Syvia-Jo needs to calm down and put those cheeks away, then the controller turned his/her attention to Turdy and exhibited a cynicism rarely seen before on .....
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..... Aunty sent him an invite setting a schedule to call him up on an MS Teams conference call where all of the other Aunties would each be included, and they could then all stare at Turbo, each with a 435-yard stare, and point heaps of bones at him. Turbo was more worried about that Teams call than his meeting that morning with the machete carrying Samali warlord from Tullamarine, who needed Turbo's advice on remaking that community's image, and for Turbo to use his considerable influence to get the Samali community an entry into the 2026 SuperCars competition, where Al-Shabaab would be their main sponsor, and where one of their getaway drivers would be given a run. So, Turbo set his Teams meeting background image to be a working-class ally in Moorabbin, and ......
