Captain

This is obviously a post that Bernie would wish to respond to, so Cappy, ever the gentleman and mate, will allow that to occur.

Not many people know that Turbo holds the Guiness Record for being told that by good looking females, ............ and by quite a mass of scrubbers too, but to now also be in record contention for being told that by various AI ladies (Tubb always opts for the lady's voice) is a new low, or achievement, depending on how you rate such things.

..... it, and once Cleo (to her mates) realised what had happened, she also recalled that this snake had been shown several times in a bible picture book that she had loved to read as a little kiddie. With near to her last gasps, Cleo realised that this was the same snake that had given Eve the apple and after taking advice from her Soothsayer named Alexa, she said "Geeez Louise, this bloody same snake has appeared as the Bronze Serpent (ref Numbers 21:4–9 & John 3:14–15), as the Viper that bit Paul on Malta when he was shacked up with a Maltese Princess and having a break from active apostilling (ref Acts 28:3–6), and then finally as his(or her) big final gig as the Cosmic Serpent/Dragon (see Revelation 12 and 20)". "Heck, you know a lot of religious stuff Alexa" said Cleo as the poison took effect. "No wuckers, Cleo" responded Alexa "And you can cut the over dramatization as it's just a run of the mill python and while they might give you a nasty nip (Noburef) on the nork, they are not fatal". "Well tell Markanthony to get his arse in here quickly for a final one, just in case you are wrong ..... and tell Bernie to watch his step with that snake when he comes across it in a few thousand years .... although I know that he is a tough nut and is much more worried about Eastern Browns & Red Bellied Blacks out there around Degilbo". Alexa took Cleo's instructions seriously, remembered Bernard's name (Bernie to his mates and the Wreck Frying aviation community) + his day after Xmas '46 DOB, and ......

.... poor Bernie, who pushed him (or her ... NTTIAWWT) away and said "It'll take more than a few poxy scales to stop me from becoming archaeologically famous, ......... and rich, so f........

.... a pile of rocks, which it knocked over, and there under the rocks was a cuneiform tablet which Bernie could read, and which said "This tablet, and the bloke what wrote it, are much more ancient than those Tepe joints 450 kms up north". "This will make me more famous than Howard Carter and Bruce Pascoe, or that bloke who discovered Algebra" said Bernie, as his thoughts turned to buying a bigger Prevost RV with all the royalties. Meanwhile, the Python got really snakey about this change to the storyline and the realisation that he was about to be written out if the NES, so he .....

Given his fame, Cappy can only assume that Bernie is applying his attention to archeological research around Degilbo, and may have located one of the 1st Nations (or whatever they are called now) megacities recorded by whatshisname (or whatever he is called now) in his book Dark Emu.

.... that Kurdish lady, which is way more serious and suggestive than just being wrapped around her lower half. Surprisingly, Bernie, who had been involved as a geologist in Kurdistan for half a century while trying to become even more famous by finding the precursor civilization to Gobekli Tepe, knew the Kurdish lingo and said "Ez jî bi marê xwe re lîstinê hez dikim" and they both fell about laughing before Bernie decided to go-the-grope, and the non-viper ...... Bernie wants to locate the mob who were hanging around in Kurdistan before the other mob who built this. (Not the cover and the walkway, but just the rocky bits).

..... but then he realized that he had made the fatal error that all herpetologists and ophioligists dread (or whatever are their new 1st Nations names), because (not many people, or whatever they are called now, know) that pythons & other constrictors are not Vipers. By way of further explanation, Crappy deleted the bottom half of the photo of the Kurdish lady, as that python is constricting around that lady's lower bits, and it may have appeared to be suggestively pornographic, such that younger readers and aviation stewed-ants would be badly influenced accordingly. His hoarse voice sounded just like ...... NESers will have noticed that Bernie has been adding comments at bottom right of several posts lately, so he and his converted bus are being drawn into the vortex of the NES, so Bernie and his RV are just about f#&$*d too, like the rest of us regulars.

.... explain what happened, people looked at him skeptically when he said "I have been kurdaitched" and everyone assumed that he had teamed up with some stunningly beautiful Kurdish lady who had taken his v..... This is a pretty ordinary image of a basic Kurdish woman, but you can see how it might have elicited OT's interest.

.... rag Kurdaitcha man (or whatever they are called now) who, in response, pointed his bone (or whatever they are called now) at .....

...... like a Fraser Island (or whatever it is called now) Dingo (or whatever they are called now) that had ....

... oblivion, until he realized that the word "flying" (avref) had been used and this was an activity in which he possessed extreme skills, muscle memory and ballet expertise. So, he deftly pirouetted, then demi-plié'd (made famous by Demi Moore in and the fillem "An Officer and a Gentleman") and he .....

This event made history, dear readers, as this was the 1st time that Krissy took her Box Brownie and recorded the teacher detaining bull ..... and it is a matter of law enforcement history that what became known as "the great billiard room detention" was the precursor of modern arrests at airports with media attendance .... and even at 11 she was "hot" and wore a Cadbury chocolate as a medal (see evidence below). ..... their relationship blossomed as their eyes met, just before bull's eyes wandered down to where they usually did (many ladies took offence at this, but bull also had a lot of success), and he ..... Her initial medal ..... but the chocky is a bit stale by now.

.... real name? And there, dear readers (and particularly our KGB, CIA and Mossad lurkers), you can see how key information can be leaked ..... and how loose lips can sink ships (nautref). For the General's name was Butt Butt (or in bull's parlance "but but") and the top of the boots are giving that grief too. The General's/bull's lack of a substantial records shows that he has had it scrubbed by ASIO and perhaps also by Krissy, with whom bull has maintained a relationship since .....

Here is what the bloke looks like .. but wait a minute, that's not the bull that we know and love from all the time that we have all spent together as mates. The bull that I know is shorter, and we call him bull because of the size of his bits that those boots are certainly chafing.

.... bloke that looks like a clone of Angus "Medals" Taylor, but with a quirky Philippino short-arse stance, where the calf-length black leather boots reach up to his waist and are obviously chafing his .....

.... bull got the trawler going flat out and when the Turbodrifters lifted off (avref) from the deck, they flew backwards off the stern of bull's good ship ........... like DH4 Caribous used to do if the wind (avref) was over 30 knots. bull's excuse about Xmas glitter on his quail/cat flavored sea urchins was accepted for a while, but the Albanese government is as sharp as a tack, and when they came back to question him again he came up with his master stroke when he said "Tell Anthony not to worry, these Sea Urchins are kosher (which they weren't, neither were they halal, but that's another story, where bull succeeded in uniting the Jewish and Muslim peoples of the world against his kosher lies, and that was when he was accused of creating the 1st ever case of Jewlimaphobia) and then he expanded and said that they are a new species that I caught when working within 5 kms of the Galapagos Islands". The sea urchin inspector had previously worked for CASA, so bull slipped him a .....

.... quail (or cat) flavored sea Urchins. Not many people know that this was a melancholy event for bull, as when he was an ankle-biter he was always referred to as an urchin himself, although bull favors the word lugubriousness, rather than to say that he was in a state of melancholia. The cats were useful on the trawler, before they went into the blender, and bull found that ..... Don't worry about the picture, just listen to the sound as this is what the cat blender sounded like on the poop deck of bull's trawler

... there was the breakthrough of all breakthroughs. (Perhaps a little overstated, but the NES needs drama, so you be the judge, Dear Reader). Not many people know this, and it is not unique in nature, that once the cats had a good gutful of jellied quail, some started to taste like jelly and were sold to the Aeroplane (avref) Jelly Company for processing, and the others tasted like quail so were sold nationwide to restaurants, and Turbine Cat Farms, hiding behind the clever name of name Turbine Quail Farms, even sponsored a season of MasterChef + brought out a range of poncey TCF cravats, with the C overprinted with a Q. Early doors there was a bit of an issue with the 5 Star Michelin restaurant dudes finding fur in the quail instead of feathers, but Turbine marketing explained that away as .....

The artist removed all the jellied quail juice off the front of his waistcoat and pants in the above painting, as a matter of artistic license, plus the artist has also shown him this time with the fly done up too, as jellied quail juice down an open fly, while it may be fun, is not a good look.

.... Tubb's great brain allowed him to retain every detail of every crook on every one of their cases .... much in the same way that he can remember every one of the ~ 24,500 posts that he has made since joining Wreck Frying. (As an aside Turds has averaged something like 3.6 posts every day since he joined this dynamic site ..... but why the heck would he have only completed 0.6 of a post every day and not have completed that particular post until the morning .... and then repeat that dysfunctional process every day since 2007? (Turbo is obviously compulsively quirky ....... or worse). This partial completion of posts has carried over to his .....

..... had become smeared with quail jelly, the same as was splurged all over Tubb's ample waistcoat & down the front of his dacks, so that the ....

Ratty hopes that the following will be of assistance to new NESers to picture the scene described in the 2 most recent posts, ..... and the dynamic gravitas that Turdy brings to everyone's life. He's always been a bit of a butterfingers, and this photo shows the great man just before he dropped the grimoire.

.... left one, the bikies .....

A Shanty Generally similar to where Cappy was born ..... but his was with cows, a little drummer, plus wise men and stuff. THE Shanty at Alfredtown (pre Rebels).