Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... using the converted dentist's chair with the new stirrups welded on, which bull always takes with him for such occasions, he invited .....
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..... were ready to take on Liberace and Elton John (who cannot be differentiated from Liberace these days) in the Vegas Strip show scene. bull's son was also keen to race down and reduce the number of virgins, but the more experienced bull suggested that they just stroll down to the enclosure of maidens and .......
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..... under cover display of Corvettes from the Turbine family collection (which kicked the asses of the Jay Lenno and Adam Corolla collections, combined). However, finding a venue big enough to house this 'vette collection was not as hard as locating 16 certified virgins to wear the maidens' costumes (as a practicing Gyno it was Cappy who was asked to do the inspections and certifications), and that .....
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..... , looking for a promotion headline, he arranged for Lionel Rose to challenge Mike Tyson & Cassius Turbine to a WWF style tag team boxing match. The ticket sales, all handled by a JV between TurboTek & TickeTurd, went crazy and even Choc Mundine and his dad bought front row seats next to bull & Connor McGregbine, where they ......
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..... and doing a Chinese/Vietnamese Siamese-twins, ass conjoined double-act outside Jimmy Turbine's Boxing Tent at the Easter Show.
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..... was searching for a new chant that would keep the lefties occupied for a few years. And then it came to him ... "From the (Chagres) River to the Canal, Lefties will always be anal", which became the official ......
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...... assumed, which you should never do [see Footnote below], that because they were 100% non-catholic, that they must all be Jewish and that Panama is the new homeland. That made Colombia & the Darian Gap the new West Bank, and Costa Rica is Syria, so Turbo saw himself as the new Golda Meir, and because he looked so similar he decided to fill the power vacuum by ....... Cappy can't remember whether he took the below pic of Golda in her prime (Cappy was a leader in the Knesset at that time) or Turbo during his over-the-ears long hair trans experimentation phase, and you can't tell as they look identical (and have never both been seen in the same room at the same time). [That badge is from the Red Corvette Owner's Association, but that doesn't help identify the photo as Golda had one too and used to take Cappy for a Friday night cruise up the main drag in Jerusalem, before they went parking up on lover's lane at the Golgotha lookout]. Footnote - Wise saying from Confucius Fong from Cabramatta NSW ....... "All NESers should never ASSUME anything .... as if you do it will make an ass out of U and me."
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.... asking for their money back. That is never good when you are a One-Man-Show and when the takings have already been spent on .....
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NEWS FLASH - 1root uses the word "opprobium" twice in one NES post. What a w ................ inner
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.... that the AUF Morse Code Sub-Committee (the MCSC) had put a motion on this to the Board, a very slick & professional proposal had been received from Turbine Blechley Park Code Breakers and Makers Inc, which was basically to simplify the Morse Code by removing all of the dashes as a money and time saving initiative ("The dashes are a pain in the bum, and very expensive, plus are harder to carry around, as they are many times bigger than the dots" said Turbo in a promotional video), and it was proposed to rename it the .......
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.... climb out of the Panamanian Long-Drop (cleaning the sides of a long-drop is hard yacka) and he progressed up to the cleaning of basins, urinals and those endless towels which in Panama are changed, whether they need it or not, every 5 years, so the same duration as a Corvette fan belt. But Kev schemed & back-bit hard, so he was soon ...... An Endless Towel in a dunny & on its way around for the 45th time.
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.... was one where he received a promotion almost immediately as the Panama Psych Check showed that Kev qualified for all of the smarmy jobs in CASA and he exceeded the number of personality quirks that CASA regard as desirable to get to the top, let alone do Ramp Checks. So, being at the top of the management potential tree in CASA qualified him to be a dunny cleaner in the Panamanian system, but he soon worked his way up the ladder to ......
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..... but that rego number was fake in order to save the Panamanian landing fees, which were 2 kgs of street-ready cocaine, 5 shots of tequila and a chugalug of a 6 pack of Balboa beer (Note the rule in Panama is "2 minutes bottle to throttle"), and a ........
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STOP PRESS - Eean has seen fit to nominate Turbo, oneroot, bull and Cappy for an AO, each, next January, for services to the NES. Thank you Eean. It is well deserved.
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Kev is also a bit of a dick.
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Few scholars, nor ordinary people, know that Chris's real name was Christopher Columbus de la Turbine, but after receiving high quality tax advice he dropped the de la Turbine bit so that he could fly (avref) under the radar and create a dynasty, same like the Rothchilds (a sub-group of the Turbines) & the lesser Vanderbilts, where the "t" was left in as a fitting tribute to their Turbine family history and connections. (As astute NESers will already know the Vanderbilts were originally the factory build-assist operation for Van's aircraft, where the RV8 is their favourite, and they bilt heaps).
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..... I think that I will run for the Presidency in Panama, as I am a winner and the Panamanian people deserve to have someone of my standing and stature to love them like a daddy, and to look after their interests. ......................................... and I'll release all of the prisoners + pay them top dollar (Balboas) to be my Private Army/Pretorian Guard." The prisoners all cheered, killed a few guards just to show a sign of defiance and they rushed to mill around KRuddy and declare him to be their ...... Below we see Kevvy, about to address the prisoners and promise them the world, if they will protect him. He is much more badarse than Nickelarse Mad-Durex from Venezuela, and once Nickelarse is done for, Kev plans to re-merge Panama and Venice-whaler then squeeze & smash Colombia to join them. Kev's aim is to be adored by squillions and to be recognised as the Christopher Columbus/Fred (Vasco Núñez de) Balboa of his age.
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And about 2 or 3 decades before Pen graduated from car design to become a magician.
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...... a dance that was common in Panamanian jails, which by direct implication meant that the dancers were also common (not to mention that Kevi also danced with a flower behind his left ear) and was therefore available (if you took him to dinner, which comprised at least 2 pieces of mouldy bread and half a glass of stagnant water). But the prisoners suspected what was living in Kev's dreads (in the 2nd world it is well known that you are never more than 4 ft from a rat) so discounting Kevi himself, that meant that .......
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Cappy just checked his records, and it is clear that Cappy's Company built those 2 walls that are so clearly visible in Turbo's photo. It was Turb's Company that built the wall in the foreground at lower right. Cappy's artistic flare can also be seen, as it was he that drew the camel, after a lengthy debate about whether it should be 1 hump or 2. Below also shows the Standard Vanguard that Cappy used for the profile for the car that he drew. However, he could not afford the white paint to show the windows. (Cappy and Turbo (T & C Motor Corp) had, and still have, the dealership for these cars up the Khyber, so it was a useful promo initiative, and they still sell a few hundred each year).
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..... he looked a bit like Fabio in dreadlocks, but older, uglier, and with the typical Rudd ego. "I want my f'n government jet and I want it now" Kev kept demanding, as the prisoners in Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza took the micky and thought "What an entitled dickhead (but in Spanish)", and suggested that he ...... Kev in the exercise yard at the nick, calling for his Aussie Govt 737. Kev's cell was 3rd window from the left, with 200 other blokes, at the Complejo Penitenciario Nueva Esperanza
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..... Things were going great as he ripped through the Gulf of America, dodged a few Honduran pirates, and spent time with a few ladies in Bocas del Toro (Terri was going to fly in to meet him there, but she was in Paris with Cappy at the time) ........ until he reached the Panama Canal, where the Canal Authority insisted on examining his ......
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..... alligator Alcatraz, where the alligators were very well informed & were all getting ready to stick their fingers down their throats in case he escaped & they accidentally chomped on one of his bits, but that ......
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Cappy would love to hear what our thousands of NESers (and from Bernie too) think about his recent paint job on his digs, as shown behind Kev and Terri in the above photo. The house was previously 100% that depressing Vicmanistan dark black basalt that they have down Lorne way, and it was dragging me down (so I can see why everyone is so morbid and moribund every day down in Mexico). I therefore decided to paint it white, which went over a treat at the party and at the subsequent knees-up. Not bad, eh? PS - Any member of Wreck Flying, or whatever it is called now, is welcome to call in on any weekend for a few ales & a chat.
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..... and the only way that he could think of the de-quaver himself was to place himself voluntarily in a situation where he would be bored to tears, so he went and spoke to Kevin Rudd (although Cappy has always considered Therese to be hot, so that distracted him a little) but Kevy won out, and Crappy was saved, though bored s#%&less. However, it wasn't until Tony "burqa" Bourke came over to do his best Les Patterson impersonation, that ...... Kev and Therese at a BBQ at Cappy's joint in late 2020 ("F the masks" Cappy had said on the invite). See what I mean about Terri, which is the insider name that she asked Cappy to call her. Tony B while 3 sheets to the wind (avref)
