Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... with transvestite tendencies and limp fins. It is relvant to recall that the Blue Oyster used to have a "Sailfish half price" night each full moon, when it became normal to .....
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.... other oversized .....
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..... squeeze of his oversized .....
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..... who pushed bull up against the wall using her full and ample body, perhaps a little too forcefully and with perhaps too many oscillations (avref) and a little too much gasping ...... however bull was used to this type of thing as he has always been seen by the female of the species as highly desirable in a manic physical sense. "Why have you used a capital letter on your Uppers pocket?" asked Doubty (when she had finished with the other as mentioned above), who found this to be quite suspicious, given that NSW Police Intel had identified that bull and never pushed a Caps key in his many years since inception. bull scrambled for an answer as he moved away from the wall, with his knees still trembling, and he said ".....
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.... taking lots of other meds, including quite a few of Tubb's usual uppers and downers, which he learnt to manage (and enjoy) when long distance trucking while testing his various designs of chassis mods (Turbs needed lots of uppers back then, when his trucks broke down due to HT cracks). The AUF shindig really went into high gear when Turbo prescribed (he is a medical professional and not a dealer) small amounts of uppers to the ...... I hasten to add for the benefit of any new NESers, that my close mates Turbo, Onetrack and bull have never needed to use drink spiking drugs as the ladies, and some trannies, can't get enough of them when they are out on the town.
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...... FMDs, BMDs, YAAD-S, WACs, and the occasional ......
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..... realization came over him that becoming Jack Newton the 2nd was not a good idea. Cappy moved like a cross between a gazelle, a panther, a pit viper and Dan Andrews, which meant that he was Teflon coated and untouchable, so he saw each sweep of the prop in slow motion and was able to duck, dodge and weave, then dance like Mohammed (Ali, not the Hamas prophet) to reach in and flick off the ignition switches. The engine stopped, the crowd applauded and Cappy, ever modest and unassuming, said "........
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.... part of a medley of songs performed at the AUF Annual Fly-In by the Narromine Senior Citizens & Retirement Village String Band under the very clever title "Songs of the Rotax Gearbox and Jabiru Thru-Bolts"), so the metallic twanging was very relevant to the gathered AUF members, so many of them ducked and ......
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.... cacophony of light, sound, danger and Janice Joplin images, plus a few of Ravi Shankar, and John Lennon. All of this meant that Dyno saw something that others had never experienced, so he set himself up as a Guru on a mountain top in Vicmanistan (the actual site is thought to up near Mansfield somewhere) and charged all of his pilgrims a fortune to hear his words of wisdom and to listen to him playing a 20 ft long dinosaur sized sitar, after which he did his best to get dinosaur chicks pregnant. Dyno the Guru (DtG) became a ...... While this top shot may look more like Keith Richards, you get the idea by combining both pictures. (NB Ravi is actually a bit of a dinosaur anyway).
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..... piste, because when they were not flying (avref) they would spend part of each winter ......
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...... a tad slower than the well-known measure of time known as "Quick-Stix", so that meant that the world was .....
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..... bred up much faster that Turbo had anticipated, in fact faster than rabbits, as it turned out that if nobody nicks the eggs for their morning omelettes, the gestation period of a dinosaur is just .....
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..... initially grinned with bemusement, but then he (at this stage we assume that it was a "he" as we hadn't had a chance yet to lift up his tail and check out the other end) realised that Turbo was using the Crocodile Dundee (but in this case the Pussy Turbine) 2 fingers and a thumb technique to subdue him. Eventually the tiger started to weaken & squat, just more because he was becoming weary after standing there for over 75 minutes waiting for the Pussy Turbine spell to take effect, and Pussy was becoming tired too (without his hourly usual glass of Scotch and a few clicks to check out the NES) but could not afford to show weakness as tigers can be really nasty after a failed spell and get even more fractious after becoming cross-eyed while watching Pussy's fingers go ...... While considering the below photo, just imagine that that big brown thing is a tiger and that muscular arm belongs to the rather more withered Turdy Planner.
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.... and discovered one of those crappy big ginger coloured moggies with 3 legs (there is compelling evidence that this moggie had chewed its own leg off to escape from the Turbine Cat Farm down the road in Heronvale) ....... [As readers will attest, many of us sometimes feel like doing something similar when Turbo goes into lecturing mode elsewhere on Wreck Frying]. As is usual with Cappy's shooting, the moggie was close to death and Cappy looked at Turbo to see if he was contemplating mouth-to-mouth, but ...... As one of OZ's most qualified snipers, Cappy's shooting over the years has shown that his use of a Pea Shooter was of similar effectiveness to Tubb's use of a 308 when set on full auto, so a Pea Shooter is all Cappy needs to be effective ...... Well, that and the fact that they took his Three 0 off him after Cappy plugged Turbo in the freckle region up the khyber under rule three-0-three.
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.... he noticed a lone GBM&OCL that was a free agent and not associated with any of the previously mentioned GBM&OCLs that have headlined in the NES to date. Caney felt danger so, in defense, he pumped up his umpteen poison glands to the extent that he looked like a 13 kg cane toad that was covered with .......
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.... picked up his 13 kg pet Cane Toad, imaginatively named Caney, because bull knew full well that a J160 landing out at bone airport at this time of night would take out hundreds of Caney's kin, hence the reason for the 160's loose undercarriage and the Cane Toad Splatters on the .....
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..... and the schnauzer proudly humping .....
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Cappy always accepts the superior knowledge of his best mate and battle buddy, however Cappy just comments, and will leave it there, that he was unaware that draft horses (note the spelling difference in Victoristan) have orifices on their necks at exactly the same spacing as the ladies for which those in the photos were fabricated.
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No I didn't
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....., so Mrs Welcome immediately put on her chastity belt (personally made, fitted [and tested} by bull's bone personally fitted & tested chastity belt & boner blockers inc [bbpf&tcb&bbi] - name registered and patents applied for), so that neither Turbo nor the GBM&OCL could get direct access to her ..... A couple of bbpf&tcb&bbi's finest creations, as available from their triple shop front in Leichardt St ... and available with free shipping worldwide on Amazon, Nile, Murrumbidgee and Rhine.
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Cappy is very protective of his, so cannot understand why Turbo would lie on his back with the dire risk that the GBM&OCL would snap his nuts off. Although Cappy hastens to add that he has always admired the bravery of his best mate and combat buddy, when under fire (or under a GBM&OCL). ...... finished licking its own, then barked at the .....
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Do any NESers know where anyone can get 3 Bunals from these days, given the rises in the cost of living?
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.... rubber mask of Sir John Kerr, which Turbo looks like (and acts like) anyway, so it was simple for him to bugger off/skulk out the side door, cut across Block 4095 of the Bone Mango Corporation and head down to the Big Mango for a cool drink and to catch the bus. But he soon heard the soft foot pads of a big male GBM&OCL and Turbo sh....... Tubb wearing his Sir John Kerr rubber mask just before his big skulk at Bone. Those uncaring eyes, those rotten teeth, and the plastic do-dad around his neck were a giveaway to all that know him.
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... read Englebert Humperdinck, but in Bon Scott's well-known handwriting, but when Bon then came out with Please Release Me Let me Go and Angus wasn't playing in his uniform of the Bone Primary School, then the people started to suspect that ..... It is little known that Turbine Uniform Hire PLC provided all of Angus's uniforms which were also tailored for whatever town ACDC were playing in. Angus wearing the uniform of Bone Primary, and with his "Turbo is an A-hole" cap. And here with the uniform and tie from Moorabbin Reform School, including a further denigrating reference to Turdy
