Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... Kevin's undies up the ......
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..... she was hired by CASA to be part of their cuntry roadshows to the plebs (kudos to OT for introducing this term to the NES) in the bush, where her special subjects were W&B for dills, Get-Home-Itis for impatient dills, nose rings of the rich & famous, Christian genocide in Nigeria, Turbine Mining & the use of child slave labour in Central Africa, and then her ever popular applause filled favourite, .....
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Which is a good trick, as the Hutu kiddies only have small nose rings when they are five.
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VicPol wishes to apologize for all of the IUDs that are being sucked into the LHM. Please visit our offices at any time to recover lost devices ..... and see bull in the tent next door, who is offering free refitting.
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.... Turbo came up with a concept developed by Turbine Coup d'états & Putschs Inc, where he planned to be the mastermind/power behind the throne, rebadge VicPol in brown shirts (but on 2nd thoughts they were already in that mindset), install Jeff Kennett again to repair the roads, recover the machetes using Melbourne Uni's (secret) Large Hydron Magnet (which circles the city and is centered in Moorabbin), and to send all of the Labor voters up to Nhill for "Mental Reprograming". As part of his public statement as he took power, Turbo said "Jeff still has a few good years in him, VicPol have already taken over the Uni's LHM and machetes are being sucked in by the hundreds, as well as the machete bins and assorted other metal bits, and the 1st buses for Nhill have already left, containing the most rabid of the Labor voters ... so things are on the improve, and if you voted LNP you have nothing to fear unless you are a ...... Turbo heading out to the balcony to make his announcement/decree. .
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.... that healthy mix of Godliness and Satanic virtues, while observing Venus at will ("There it is" he would say while pointing up) and occasionally discovering a new continent or 2. As a result, the Cooks, and Cappy in particular, were always in demand/great fun at Dinner Parties and could speak in a captivating and interesting way (He is in more demand on the speaking circuit than was Chopper Reid in his prime) on almost all subjects that the ....
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.... the Devil (CFIavref), and look out, as when Satan gets into your life you can end up like ....
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..... them getting damaged and being similarly afflicted to Turbo ..... and therefore, needing to flop it out occasionally for the rest of their lives. The Troops did not fully understand, as they were all invincible young bucks who thought themselves bullet-proof, but Cappy is respected & had always interacted well with young fighting men, so when he sat the regiment down over lunch and spoke to them about the issue, he made some progress, but not enough. It was then that he wheeled out his pièce de résistance, and trotted Turbo out onto the stage dressed only in his undies (many admired his firm muscles and great fitness up top, but that only made them suspect that there must be something terribly wrong elsewhere). Many were physically ill once they saw the ooze from the three-oh wound, but before Turbo dropped his badly stained jocks (erky perky). Once they were down around his ankles the outcome was horrific, the mental scarring of the troops was terrible, so thank goodness Cappy had had the foresight to arrange for 5 Chaplains to attend to handle the counselling. Four Ministers and a Rabbi walked into the room and the Rabbi said ".........
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..... pet rooster. This 1st became known during a physical inspection in the Regimental Barracks (where they grab 'em and say "Cough") ..... and while Cappy tried not to look, he became aware of the damage, but just assumed either Turbo's Mohel had used a rusty set of clippers, or Turbo had been inducted as a First Nations Warrior and been done with a broken oyster shell. Now that we know the full story, and I'm aware that PA knows too (I admit it, I told her), there is a chance that even though it is a bit of a mess down there, it appears to have a certain attraction for the ladies (& the aristocracy) so Turbo is likely to get an increased number of offers for a .......
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..... see the video of bull after he stitched extra wide industrial strength velcro to all of the conjoined surfaces of his seduction clothes, ready for a quick exit if the opportunity arose? He is still trying to get out of them, and in addition, the hook bits have almost rubbed through his .......
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..... "As long as you don't plug me there (with your three-oh that is, & where Turbo is oozing from) you are hired dear Cappy. BTW, let's have a PIMS to get you all loosened up, and do you put in more effort than bull?" Cappy, ever the loyal mate, said "You need to make some allowance for bull, like we all do, as he is only around occasionally and his shift button is broken, as are a few of his other buttons, but he is a .......
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Cappy's only comment is that he is envious, as bull seemed to be enjoying it immensely ..... and he did not seem to be moving any more than he needed to (that was a complaint from the Coffee Lady too) in case PA fell off & bent her crown.
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...trophied. at ease, yet proudly at attention. "Wow" said PA "I've seen a few, but you are certainly still at attention while you are standing at ease. That is very impressive and my stallion, Blackie, is envious, so I guess that I can make an exception and go to the ball with a Colonial". "No wuckers Annie, and I'll make an exception too" replied Cappy "As I usually prefer B&S Scrubbers, but in this case I will .......
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..... the stables where one can be my "Farrier"" ........ (and with that came a knowing giggle). "Great deflection, Annie. You are a beauty-bottler" said oneroot, (hot on the trail of #2) "I shall front up at the stables as your personal farrier, and after shoeing your horses, we can get some fresh hay into the stall (avref) and .....
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..... kaput every time it rained, so his 1st bag of nails was used up, and he used the 2nd to explain to Anne what it means at a B&S Ball when, in the middle of a progressive barn dance somebody asks, " Are you interested is getting nailed?" and you .......
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.... "Do ya", ....... or "Does your 'Vette have a back seat", or "If you perform well, it will be "Arise, Sir Turbo" or .....
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..... holding someone less than half his age, while Turbo, half inverted, flashed a smile at his (Andy's) Mum and also at Anne, because at that stage of his adventurous life, Turbo had always fancied a cucumber sandwich, and was going through his mother & daughter experimental phase, and Anne had always ......
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.... gasped with admiration (some also with lust), broke into rapturous applause, and presented TGM (our own beloved Turdy) with a photo of an F16 on behalf of all Western Nations (the back was signed by Eddy Heath, Butro Butros Galli, Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky and Harold Holt [pre swim]). That photo, signed on the obverse, is the very one used as TGM's avatar, so it means ......
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When the NES speaks of PIOs, Cappy, as a very experienced SuperDooperCFI, always thinks of the hundreds of Stewed Ants who visit the NES daily, and in doing so via the video below, he has been able to combine lessons in Thruster PIO and in the flying achievements of his best mate. You will all have seen and admired the F16 photo which is the avatar of the great man (TGM). It is little known that TGM was involved in the development and proving of the F16 and below is a little film that Cappy took from his spot in the rescue vehicle. The PIOs are obvious, and yes, the TGM was doing the so-called flying. See near the end where the pilot runs from the aircraft on the grass. That is the fastest I have ever seen Turbo move ......... but then again, it was over 50 years ago.
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..... he had filled-his-dacks (a well-known 3-word aviation (avref) expression. "And that is why I could not allow the Thruster to go inverted" he said "As it would have run down ......
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.... identified by the NTSB as a TIO, and no longer as a PIO, so all of the Thruster pilots were absolved from their IOing and the fault reverted to the .....
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.... carried a large Warwick Cappercino, wore a Meter Maid's bikini, and stuck a ..... It was the bikini in the middle that fitted him best ...... but Rudy asked the other 2 lasses to take theirs off so that he could try them on. (What a cad). Wazza doesn't like publicity or the limelight, but allowed us to take this photo, after giving Rudyard his Cappercino.
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..... story of Kip getting a Nip on his Tip" (name registered thru Turbine Copyright Company). (Nobu saw that and though he was getting a reprise on the NES). The podcast world went crazy for details about Rud (his mates called him Rudy) and the audience went ......
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Through the magic of the interweb we, through IA, now know that the plural of Mongoose is either Mongi or Mongeece, depending on which school of Classics you attended.
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..... somebody filming it, which went viral on the interweb to Rudyard's further pain, and the Mongoose was offered his own podcast (by the Joe Robine Company), and it was proposed that the podcast be called ".....
