Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... the Turbine rats took after their company founder (tough, resilient and resourceful) and used tiny little rat sized North Face quilted parkers plus teensy little Collingwood socks, both of which allowed them to survive to hit the tropics in force, and take on the Cane Toad infestation that was heading south. The result was a ........
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Cat meat disguised as a stake.
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.... impressed to the point of fawning, and particularly when Won went into great details on the difficulties and dangers of "The Circuit" and in particular the "Impossible Turn" to Base (avref). The crowd gasped at his mention of the "Impossible Turn". "The aerobatic maneuver named the "Won-Track-Himmelmann" is an embellishment on the bog standard Himmelmann, as the original Charlie Himmelmann was a bit of a pussy, and the WTH is a piece-of-p*#$ compared with the dangers of Straight-&-Level in the circuit, (particularly when there is a Crop Duster flying a turbine powered Air Tractor AT-802A, so he thinks it is his circuit, and his alone) which you have seen me fly with impeccable touch, coordination and finesse, ........ but then having to also turn to .....
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Miscellaneous D7's driving around WA are now part of the "What's on in WA" website, so WA Tourism urges you stop them and take a Happy Snap, as after the recent census, there are now more D7's in WA than there are Quokkas on Rotty.
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.... the shops making public statements about fake meat, which then encouraged Australian ladies to also fake it, but Won Track thought that was OK because it makes him seem to be a ....
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Cappy has just realised that Tony's mustache must have also been false, and is now being worn by Turbo, as he has the same snot-line. I will find another photo of the mustachioed Tubb and post it asap.
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.... whether Turbo's close association with Bill Gates, Tony Mokbel, and the Korean Yakuza leader, Won Track, might mean that the paper is not 86% recycled and the beef is ...... One of Tony's original wigs was brought back from Greece & takes pride of place in the Pool Room at Turbo's Toorak mansion.
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... the AUF, although a rebel group (known as the TP/OT [or TeaPot] faction) has also nominated Barny-Bee for the Board, and if he does join the AUF Board plus become a member of One Nation as a result of Pauline's steak cooking skills, he will soon learn that they go together like a .......
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Thank goodness that Turbo is back, so will all of the members of Wreck Flying, & of Aircraft Pilates, stop calling me with your messages of concern. The great man is well and has just been off, down south, doing some more of his trucking BS again. To those 5 or 6 members that he has chastised previously in the technical forums, bad luck, Turbo is still alive and well.
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..... he had a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) and had voted for Active Joey Biden the Citizen's Friend, time for Hope and Change etc. However, after meeting his Special Counsel, his TDS soon morphed into Turdbro Derangement Syndrome as Tubb's blonde hair and sunbed afterglow meant that our best mate looks like a cheap cross between Andrew Peacock, Jacinta Knitajumper Price, Warren Mundine (AO, 13 Plus and Adult Advisory, PGM), bull, and .......
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Turbo raises a very poignant point and one which is often overlooked or avoided by less astute historians, as it is little known about the involvement of the Japanese contingent who were embedded in the British Army’s 12th Regiment of Foot (known subsequently as the East Suffolk Miner Killers) and the 40th Regiment of Foot who proudly added the name of 2nd Somersetshire Tent Burners to their battle flag. However, it was the Japanese within the pommy units who added the Hotbox and the Samurai Sword to their interrogation techniques. So Nobushi's sad outburst was well founded, and the Japanese were the reason that Peter Lalor lost his arm, when Nobushi's great, great, great grampy tried to behead Pete, but the sword slipped.
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Not many also know that the same thing applied back when the Eureka Stockade was underway and the Filth snuck up on the brave miners riding American horses where their shoes fell off regularly and the stirrup broke on ever 2nd ride. ("Ah, American Horses ..... turning riders into Farriers and Saddlemakers since 1749" said Sargeant Headley (Harley to his mates) Davidson, as they approached Bakery Hill and turned back to repair all the breakages).
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.... he found that their map for the Nursultan Nazarbayev International Airport in Kazakhstan would be 2 days out of date when they were halfway across the Pacific, abeam Tahiti's Faa'a International, on route to LAX. "But geez, Boy, we are only going frarm Orrstraya to Californ-I-A and we never fly (avref) to Kazakhstan" said the AA Captain (avref & Cappyref). "That matters not" replied the CASA Johnny "As you have breached rule 607.a.1,4,v.36 and I've got you by the short and curlys. When will you septics ever realize that you need to keep your ICAO GIZZ subscription up to date?" The AA Skipper (Cappyref) asked his 2nd Officer to connect him to the Turbine Family Trust, trading as Turbine Aviation Law, and the CASA FOI did a spoonful, as TAL have never lost a case and they always ........
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The Filth's fleet of BMWs are maintained by Turbine's Mechanics Co, which is modelled after the Jim's Mowing franchise, but without the grass.
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.... 10 minutes until the police car broke down or ran out of fuel, and the Premier called up and said "If that's a Somalian warlord that you are chasing, just stop, as we don't ever have any issues with that community. Instead concentrate on the subsidiary of Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, Turbine Tribal Weapons PLC, who I believe are supplying .....
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"Where the hell do we get camel milk and shaax soomaalia from?" they had thought, until they discovered Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, and bought in bulk.
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..... Canjeros and a liberal quantity of Muufo making a magnificent spread on a long table, with it all washed down with camel milk and shaax soomaalia, so "Machete schmachete" they thought "Let's get into the ethnic tucker and we'll worry about the cut & chop-chop when we have to .....
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.... the devolution of these procedures by VicPol, CASA & Turbine Security as part of a triumvirate shared initiative to oppress the plebs, and to ......
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..... became a bit of a movement that made regulation a necessity. "We can't have kids building circuits and oiling them, Willy-Nilly (or Achmed-Nilly), then using the pyramids or the sphynx as corner markers, so we need some form of control & scrutineering" said Josephus bin Offenhauser. As a result, the Confederation of Alexandrian Camel Sport (CACamS), the Alexandrian National Camel Racing Association (ANCRA), and the Alexandrian Speedway Association were formed. By demand, high-speed hieroglyphs were developed to resolve dead heats. Two new companies were formed in Alexandria, which at that time was the stockmarket & venture capital center of world trade (it really kicked on after the Lighthouse was commissioned), so when Kodak and Hasselblad both floated on the Alexandrian Exchange, this caused the prices of racing camels (particularly Supermodified Camels) into the ......
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Which is the type of tactics that Turbo needs to use these days in the bedroom too.
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Crappy is sorry to advise that the breeding program has so far been unsuccessful, as none of the cows like Turbo, even after he took them out to dinner down in the back paddock.
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..... a barrier to the sale of khakpyrus, which then became the staple for printing Bibles, Korans, and the new Playboy mags (it is new news for the NES, but Turbine Publishing have bought the rights from Hugh & Turbs is hereafter to be known as Heff). Khakpyrus also became popular for ..... (Turbo, ever astute as always, immediately bought an extra 10,000 trampling cows, which have bigger feet than normal cows, and he started a breeding program accordingly).
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.... get Thin Arthur, Flange Desire & Kid Eager to do the job, and that will ....
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Dear NESers. The above excellent and insightful contribution by our premier NES contributor has gone thru to the keeper and deserves further comment as a tribute to our great mate (GM) Turbo. The "Classic Cats Vault" is like Madame Tussaud's joint, except it is full of statues of Sam Newman, Gary Ablett and his Dad, plus 20 or 30 other top players. Below is a photo of Sam's statue. Pretty lifelike eh?
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.... another smooth ....
