Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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.... learnt to abseil down to where the customers made a mess when they got a fright on the parwyn thrill rides or had an adverse reaction to an occasional bad NZ Oyster, or overripe mango. (The only place where this was not a disadvantage was at the aquarium where the 5 Orcas and the 3 pods of Dolphins loved the regular upchuck snacks as the roller coaster went over the top). Most of our knowledgeable readers would know, but some may not, that getting a dodgy oyster before boarding the fastest roller coaster in the world and then being subjected to a rapid succession of +6 & -6 G crests and turns can see the bad oyster aftereffects hurtle into seen and unseen public areas where mountaineering training and a cast iron stomach were essential skills for a .....
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.... and with his usual outstanding skill, bull developed a way to manage the smells according to taste, so all Indian visitors loved the Delhi flavors & aromas, the FNQ visitors loved the smell of manky over-ripe fermenting mangoes mixed with flying fox guano, and the Mextorians that flocked to the show adored the home pong of Yarra creek water blended with the smell of a machete wielder's armpit, which .....
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.... he had 3 D9s pull apart the backdrop to reveal his masterpiece, based on all of the principals of Dolly World but with the largest and wildest roller coaster in the world, and there amongst the mangroves, bulls parwyn world was introduced to the world. The Aussie public went mad for the no capitals gimmick that bull has been using for years as his own individualistic lifestyle signature. And if that wasn't enough, he revealed his piece-of-resistance, which came from his purchase of all of the no longer needed costumes and merch from Dolly World after Dolly went to the Grande Olde Oppre in the Sky, so out came bull, in front of the rebranded bone rissole can-can review ..... and, dear readers, the crowd, who were already fully pumped up, went berserk when bull sang Jolene in one of Dolly's fanciest wigs, while wearing one of her biggest ......
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... painted the trawler grey, mounted a fake 50 Mil machine gun and painted PT 53 on the side, then he hired a bloke to play Capt Binghamton and another little twerp to be Ensign Parker in the live theatrical shows that bull used as ....
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..... the Parwn name is owned and tightly held by Microsoft, Google, Apple, Meta and Eeeaan. i don't care about them details said bull, so they can all go and get stuffed as im gunna use it as my own moniker, my prawns will be sold under the parwyn brand name (so buyers will know that they didnt come from a Vietnamese sxxx farm), and ill also make t shirts to sell at trade shows and at the .....
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NESers can see how seriously Turbo has taken the race to 1000 pages, as it looks like he will be double posting from here on.
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...... Billy, and while he has been quiet for a while after his Prime Ministership, he wanted to make a few points about .....
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..., the smile of a Mextorian Debt Collector, as all he was saying that Turbo was owen (owing) rates to Toorak Council, and his actual name was Bruce, because ......
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..... as is little known, one of the biggest injections of cash into Turbine Industries, was derived from when some dopy walloper listed Tubb on the charge sheet as Turbo the Paedo, instead of his full name of Turbo Podo, and once that was leaked to the AGE after a kickback to the copper, all heck broke loose. Turbinia then gave a sworn statement that Turdy had never touched here inappropriately, nor showered with her like Joe did, and once Cappy gave his Barrister's BS reference as to Tubb's good name & lack of fiddling, the AGE and VicPol, + little Krissy at the AFP, all kicked the compensation can for millions, after which Tubb payed a goodly sum to Turbinia for forgetting about those couple of times where he had overstepped the mark slightly. However, even after that, it comes up every time that Turbo renews is 'Vette Licence, or his Evinrude Destruction Licence, and even when he pays his rates down at Toorak Council, and it was there that .....
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..... extrovert display of podophilia, which Turbo knew, as an impressionable young lad in outback Mextoria, to be podolagnia, hence his middle name being .....
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..... system had never been established to record or monitor who was the PM of the day, and therefore with all of the Indian and Sri Lankas employees in the public service, Al Neesi went within 2,000 votes of winning the next election, and he was accepted into the next Cabinet because Labor didn't want to be victimizing a member of a minority, even though there were the minor issues that he was not a citizen and had not been elected. Al was immediately elevated to the position of Minister Assisting the Minister for Aviation and spent most lunch times in the CASA canteen eating Nahn Bread with his non-wiping hand, and scooping up .......
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..... get involved with anyone from the airline industry ever again, as while Turbo had got the aircraft down unbent, and that is always good, he had been given an F by the 20,000-hour airline pilot because Turbo had failed to take the cabin crew out to dinner after the flight, and to then try to crack on to a couple of them (this is an essential post flight debrief in the checklists in the airline caper). But the 20,000-hour airline pilot was also a .....
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And tenderized too. As Turbo always used to say, "From the car or truck grill to yours in no time flat", although he had learnt through trial and error that roo steaks are still OK to consume until the hide has lost all of its fur. .... drones are good for lots of other stuff while driving, and as Tubb has so often said, "Get yourself a drone, Cappy, as they are much less likely to dump you even when you behave in a substandard manner." This is the principal that ......
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Which it had done a few times, as Turbo was what the Sprint Car community know as a "real tryer". Fearless but a trifle silly when the adrenalin started to flow. The type where other world champions would take him behind the speedway dunnies and read him the riot act, or kick him in the nutts .... as Al Unser did when they had a series of match races at Wangaratta. As Cappy had a proven and copyrighted a process for rectifying cracked Jaguar heads. .... tumbled to the fact that he had gone to the wrong address, as he had entered "Kimberley" into his TomTom, as that was the name of a particularly delightful nurse and stripper in Brisbane, with whom Turbs had conducted a torrid yet stormy affair/medical consultation (MBF had actually paid up because Turdy had never before seen - yet explored that part of the female anatomy), so as he drove into Fortitude Valley, Tubb realised that .......
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.... involved a pink bikini, a traditional copper and brass diving helmet, Cappy's helmet & 3 blokes from down the pub. This got .....
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.... Pearl approached him underwater, with a proposal that ..... The Lugger family are bigger than the Paspalleys, up in the NW.
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..... which he resisted, as all WA people are fiercely independent, after all, they are all descended from the crew of the Batavia after being dropped off on the way back to Indonesia. Not many people know, as it is not taught in schools .... and certainly not mentioned during gender transition studies (where the 8 genders in WA are critically reviewed), but the genetic mix of your average Western Australian means that a WA Welcome to Cuntry starts off in Dutch, then Indonesian, South African, then Japanese ("Hurro all youze ex-pearl divers" yelled Nob from the NES peanut gallery), and after 15 other local dialects, it finishes with a Swan Lager, a quick durry, and a ......
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Not many people would have known how to capture this great photo after he had sorted the stuck hinge issue on the horizontal stabilizer plus on the rudder, and had now moved on to the aileron hinges before checking out the range of movement of the flaps. There was however an unanticipated issue, as he must have chewed off the winglets. Bad dog .... but Nobu thinks that his experlience means that he can letlain the mutt to pre-war imperial standards.
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.... resisting movement and being heavy on the controls (sortofavref), until a Kelpie is around. In relation to this well-known Jab issue, Kelpies have been seen jumping up on horizontal stabilizers and giving them a nip (Noburef) so as to encourage the elevator hinges to move. "Hurro" interjected Nobu "I is here and I know a rot about this issue" he added "As I spent many weeks working as a shepherd during my 3rd escape from Cowla, so I'm leady to come back into the NES if you want me to add some context, some lather crass Japanese ranuage humour (I know that simple folk like Clappy on the NES find my stuff funny, but selious heavy hitters rike CB plobabry would not), or ......
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.... love rubbing Lanolin on their .....
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Dear NES Audience. Turbo is a long-term best mate of mine, but I also know his foibles, and the above text therefore rings alarm bells. Could "hd" be his twisted and/or perhaps perverted way to mean: "had" in the worst erky perky sense of the word? "held" which is perhaps wholesome but could also be erky perky if this happened before she "had" the poor little lamb. "hired" but surely Mary wouldn't do that to strangers, particularly if in Tasmania. "handled" ... so perhaps even more erky perky connotations by Turbo for grazing animals.
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.... , and the 2nd verse it added "With baked potatoes" (as written by the Potato Marketing Board [the PMB]). Not many people would know, but those who are mates with Turbo have perhaps caught a glimps of a family trait, that Anthony Turbine (he prefers Antony and also likes the name Antonella when out Clubing) was the basis for Benedict Cumberbatch's character (NTTIAWWT) in the film ......
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.... a world benchmark price, which meant that only members of the Rockefeller & Turbine families, plus Wazza Buffett, Elon and owners of oilfields, could compete to buy the artworks. One of the oilfield owners was particularly keen as he owned all of the BC oilfields, which were valued based on current BC prices and paid for, in BC, by BC, using BC. As all NESers would be aware, the oilfields located in British Colombia, have always been valued based on the price of Brent Crude and paid for in BitCoin, yet not many people know that Brent Crude was originally named after a wildcat well expert (in fact he was and is an expert on just about anything) known as Crude Brent, but he objected to that name and when incited often went out to his car to get his pistol, so everyone found it easier to reverse the name instead of banning him from any further oil trading. Crude Brent (nobody on the trading floor ever knew his last name, but some suggest that it also starts with a C (perhaps because he might be one of them), and that meant that .....
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..... signing autographs and receiving gifts for his NES contributions, including 2 Poet Lauriat awards, a Walkley, the Pulitzer Prize, and the Archibald. Turbo was speechless as not many people know that it was Archibald Turbine who had stumped up the cash for the prize, and the ......
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......., like a dill, he told a leading light that he always kept a pistol in his car or aircraft. After a lengthy investigation he was sentenced to whinging about the NES and victimising some forum members. But given the support for the NES by all of the Moderatti, and after receiving letters in numerous languages from NES fans, donors and Patreon members (Turds and I are sick of all the coffees that our supporters are buying for us), the NES was elevated, by Adam Min himself/herself (NTTIAWWT) no less, up the Wreck Frying Totum Pole so that it could be .....
