Captain

.... worry about being sanctioned for being naughty, when everyone knows that AUF members are entitled to be let go from any & all charges, or they will squeal like a stuck pig. It is little known that CASA has experienced the highest number of male employees transitioning to be ladies in pink tutus, and those numbers, while close in quantity to those in the Ministry of Prime Minister and Cabinet, meant that former workmates were intermarrying, and the GG, Sam Mostyn, had chosen to go the other way, so that after the nip and tuck decided to use the male name of Sam, and to ......

... then they lealised that the "Heavenry Frower of Chungking China patched Mongrels MC" is controlled by a group of Chinese nationalized Somalian fraudsters who previously ran all of the scams in Minnesota and California, so the simirarity of the words "Motor Bike" and "Lecleational Airclaft" was a simple mistake to make, and once that was publicized within Wreck Frying (or whatever it is called now), and in the editorial section of the widely selling "AOPA Monthlies" the AUF camp ripped into CASA with a renewed .....

..... objected the most when Turbo "Did a Trump" and also whacked a "back-seat Tarif (BST)" on the use of such seats for conducting their business. This meant that throughout Mextoria, a "Quickie" increased in price by adding the $50 parking fee + the BST (which is a compounding cost, I might add), and this caused quite a ruckus, plus it also put a severe dent in bull's prawning take-home. The protests were ......

.... Turbo became greedy and was unhappy with what he described as "The paltry 80% cut" (what a T-Prick?), so he .....

NESers should note that the full name of this massively successful enterprise is Turbine Protection Rackets Inc Concentrated Kinetics (T-PRICK) .... because force is usually needed, and Concentrated Kinetics (baseball bats) often gets the job done. Turbo also loves that full name as it reflects his own personality too.

..... Turbine Chinese Buses (TCB) were doing OK too. But it was Turbine Protection Rackets Inc that was kicking the biggest goals, because .....

... the cute little 14 yo pseudo criminals, who paid the fee + a tip, as they had recently taken the Audi up to Sydney to do some drive-bys and firebombings for the Alameddines who have been under a bit of takeover pressure lately. However, the Turbine Crime Family and the Turbochero Angels had made the Alameddines an amalgamation offer, and given that Turdy is well known as the Al Capone of Melbournistan, now that Chopper is gone, this offer was accepted and all JV meetings were agreed to be held at a picnic table on the banks of the Murray at Corowa, where ......

..... knew that they were right ... to continue their charge, so they .....

..... They turned and one said, "I wish we hadn't surrendered our biggest machetes to the Machete Bins" and the little one on the right replied, "Geez I hope that these bulls don't rip me a new one like they did to the bull-fighter in Spain last week." "But hey" said the older 14 yo "Are these bulls left hand or right-hand corkscrews?", and they all .......

Our bull is heartless in his quests, as he even took advantage of the volunteer lovely lady (a VLL) in the Coffee Shop while he was seriously ill in hospital (but obviously still quite capable "down there").

... the trendy black 5-oclock shadow, & backed them up so that their goolies were pressing against the electric fence and he asked them "Which foreign crime gang do you dickheads belong to?". They all looked at him with blank, some say quizzical, looks on their faces so the bull then translated the question into "؟مع أي منظمة إجرامية أنتم مرتبطون", "Koox dambiyeed kee baad la shaqaysaan?", "ا کدام سازمان جنایی در ارتباط هستید؟" or "你们和哪个犯罪组织有关系". They then replied "No mate, we are not THAT foreign, we are actually a bunch of red headed Scots from Glasgow and this dark swarthy oily 3rd world look is tattooed on so that we fit in with the modern Aussie criminal landscape, where even the most anglo of bikie gangs have been taken over by Lebanese, most of whom look like Hezbollah bomb-chuckers." "Oh, och ey" replied the bull "Sorry about that racial profiling, but yez will need to leave my heifers alone as your burning them is detuning their usual hot desire for me, and I haven't had one for a while, so just like them roman sheilas did, they have gone on strike and I can't get near 'em to do my "bull's duty" (this well known phrase was named after our best NES contributor, bull, after he had made his way thru the ladies of bone and is now radiating out from his quaint colonial cottage in his home town to "do" all of Tazzy). The 14 yo's looked the (bovine) bull square in the eye and replied"...... The fact that Tubb appears to have picked up the NES from Crappy's italics addendum is neither here nor there, nor anywhere else.

This led to a new economic opportunity for the local Aboriginal Fraud Corporation (the AFC) in making the central Qld equivalent of Swiss Alphorns, when they made spiral horn didges and issued them as a compulsory accessory ($550 per toot + GST and Voice-to-Parliament Tax) for all Welcome-to-Cuntry ceremonies. The Longhorns were soon becoming Shorthorns as they were hunted like Rhinos and their horns formed an illicit industry that was bigger than illicit tobacco sales.

.... of those indictments and charges in the pipeline, because even the Vicmanistan police frown on mating with baby mammoths (Tubb uses the term "breed" to indicate that they bred between themselves, but worldly-wise NESers know from his 24,400 posts on Wreck Frying (and whatever it is called now) that it always pays to by cynical when it comes to Turbo's famous sex-drive." Astute NESers, (but not our thousands of overseas viewers) will know that in addition to protests about how BRS has been treated (the Turbine Law Enforcement College [TLEC] taught Krissy at the AFP all she knows + gave her a couple of spare medals that were lying around) the upcoming additional protests by disgruntled old fly-boys draped in wrinkles & Aussie flags, will make national headlines as they bitch about RAA's name change from the AUF, Aircraft Pilots' name change from good old Wreck Frying, and the sad demise of Rag & Tube flying (avref). "This is the year of the old-phart protester" said Crappy as he spoke to Pauline, and was ......

, because it is a long way for a drone to fly (avref) from the freedom of Qld to the enemy territory of Mextoria, without overflying (avrefs galore) NSW, but once they started to froth, all the owners simply wrote them off in their tax (Refer to Turbine, Turbine, BLOK & Co), cracked a XXXX (and yes, they cracked a XXXX too [spelt PHXX]) and didn't care anymore. The reference above to "some of Russia's worst nightmares" has been used as part of a promotional coup by Turbine Marketing when they moved the manufacturing plant to central Qld at the renamed Chernobiloela, where the PPE was soon in tatters from the fumes and the manager had .......

..... top fell off all of the wonder product bottles, and that meant that .....

.... it's a swarm of bees ..... because almost all of our enemies are so inbred (some of the dirty buggers have even been at it like rabbits all through this Anzac Day weekend, instead of standing at attention), and their inbreeding makes them prone to anaphylaxis and hymenoptera. (And speaking of the bit in front of the "optera", [where Abe was shot] there aren't too many of those in the towns of our enemies). But the catgut strung TD's were also good for .....

..... because some DRR dope had programmed in the wrong town and a small set of mining shanties in an NT "town" were taken out by an "6.4 magnitude earthquake" (the standard friendly fire excuse along the NT/Qld border). As all NESers will know, there have been a lot of "6.4 or bigger magnitude quakes" throughout southern Lebanon and in Iran lately, plus the subsequent test firing by DRR into a target on the SA/NT border a week or 2 ago was using just a light load of just mag 5.4, not to mention the subsequent rogue firing by DRR on the Cadia mine site outside Orange. Sales of Turbine Scramjets were strong and getting more so, resulting in Turbo contemplating "doing an Elon" and considering floating a few of his sub-corporations in an IPO that has been described as ...... Catsh!tsrUs also has a strongly developing client base and gardens are looking healthier all over the nation, such that almost all of the population are now accustomed to seeing millions of moggies wearing the Turbine branding (A T like a Tesla T, burnt into their left bum cheek), sitting in gardens as below. [Not many people know that Cappy was the only one of Tubb's mates, or employees, who knew how to successfully hold all those cats while the branding irons were shuffled to and from the forge, then applied].

.... they had expected as the Chief DRR had already purchased an engine from Turbine Scramjets Inc (TSI), a strange yet wonderful dichotomy, given that scramjets don't have any turbine sections, but Turbo knew that and delighted in the fact that in a single name he was combining 2 competing technologies, just like he did with .... It is little known that it was Turbo who invented the term "Scramjet" after he had just told 3 annoying grandkids to bugger off.

.... a good quid was made, and all that money was then swiftly dispatched out of the country ..... to WA ..... just like Somali Minnesota fraudsters Western Union their cash to Al Shabab to buy AK47s mounted to Drifters (although they have not yet developed prop synchronizers for the Drifter/AK47 units and have had most of their combat success hitting their enemies with pieces of prop [and prop-less Drifters] because they can't yet afford Iranian drones with their ..... PS - The Western Union referred to above is the WA CAT & Komatsu Spare Parts Union led by a well-known tough One Percenter with a close sounding pseudonym in the NES, and why he gets quite upset when we show him in a onesie. (Below is the great WA CaKSPU owner in his younger days and before he sewed the 1%er badge on his monkey onesie, which he sells under his exclusive Kakspew branding)

....the Bowen Flying Group, known under their secret ASIO ID of BUTTER, to seek an alliance with Giuseppe, in order to counter the increasing aggressive influence of the growing City of Jambin flyers, (in the Shire of Banana) and their group name of Plum ........

..... look a blotchy red, which some described as a bit barren, hence his flying pseudonym, which was ......

..... was described in the aviation (avref) press as a HeavyEmpennage, or under the shortened name of, a HE. Guiseppe was pleased with his HE, which he created and finished in 4 days, and then he subsequently development a shorter version which he called a SHE, ....... and the SHE was created when Guiseppe took a rib from the HE, ..... after which he rested (ceased creating for the good of the AUF) on the 7th day (note plethora of bibletyperefs), because Giuseppe was actually the nearest thing you can find to a .......

.... entrepreneur of the Uncle Giuseppi's Boggawigga's Pizza Chain (note the double possessive, which is significant), that just celebrated the opening of its 250 store, known as "Humpys" in the self-effacing way that the Boggawigga always do. Giuseppe had gone from strength to strength, in a way that only the ......

Welcome back Onesie.

.... as the Irish Boggawigga Army (the IBA) were about the have a clash with the Irish Loyalist Bogga Orangemen (the LBO), in what would become famously known thereafter as the "FNQ Troubles", after the International Protestant Fraternal Order was formed in Ireland in 1795 and immediately exported via the convict ships to infect the locals. "Anyway, eh, this is better than being a cannibal, eh, as them other Boggawiggas taste like bog, eh, and we .....