Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... get back to Paris during another retreat. As a result of the Frog winemakers refusing to sell their plonk in OZ, Wheels was awarded the Order of Australia and the more prestigious Skippy Winemaker's Freedom of the City at the towns of Cessnock, Nuriootpa, Rutherglen and Margaret River, so the Wheels journos (who are really just revheads with a pen) were sloshed for months, until .......
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..... Max Stall led their testing for the 1950 Car of the Year, they went soft in their reporting and said "Geez Louise, this POS doesn't go, it doesn't stop, the seats are unsittable, the legroom is unleggable, and the ......
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..... "Ah the old Pou du Ciel" said Planey Turbine with fond memories and a glint in his eye "They were a fine machine ....... until they hit terra firma, and that is when they reminded everyone of a battered Citroen C2V after a head-on with a donkey." But Le Pou du Ciel became admired and respected for another reason, which related to ..... Is zat a C2V or a Poo Du Ciel post impact? .......... Nobody knows, but if it is a C2V, ze donkey must be in zer somewhere.
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..... indicted Lucas Turbine for inventing those windscreen wipers that were driven by vacuum from the intake manifold and would stop working whenever the throttle was pressed. At that time Lucas Turbine was sponsoring his cousin Juan Manuel Turbine in the world F1 championship and also Giacomo Turbine in the MotoGP of that time, so they needed to sell a fair bit of gear with planned obsolescence in order to make the necessary ....... A rare photo of Mike Turbine with his 2nd cousin Giacomo Turbine. It was Giacomo that got most of the chicks.
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.... a reputation for being "The Customline for the Masses", which resulted in many Falcon owners converting to Catholicism and taking their cars to church. Turbo is correct in his comment included above, except that he has forgotten about the competition from Valiant, Wolseley, the P76, Lada, Rover and ......
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.... everyone staring and saying "Gosh, that person must be doing well". And there, dear readers is one of the great achievements of the Falcon, at least until the time of the XW GTHO - Phase 2, that owners were perfectly content with their Falcons, even if they just had a 3 speed column change, no AC, no bucket seats, noisy front ball joints and a valve radio ........ but nevertheless, the owners were wrapped, and they were also always ......
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..... GMH claimed that the back seat was too small to follow through, even if she agreed to give you a chance. This, however failed dismally, as all those that progressed through a Mini Cooper S period, and had graduated to a Falcon, knew what great things could be achieved in the back seat of a Mini, so a Falcon would be a piece of ........
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..... and sure enough there was Harry in his wetty & goggles, with a large number of Cayman Nymphettes who had set up a subterranean cave as a breeding station and were hard at it, using a production-line format that Harry had stolen from the GMH plant at Elizabeth, and then modified to ......
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..... went Trans himself in an undercover operation (and I'm not referring here to the nick and flick operation for bull to become a lady) and head over to Russia to do some research? "Don't get caught, Bull, my new little buddy, and punted down to Ukraine to fight Zelinski the cross-dresser and his mates" said Prawny who had a somewhat sad background with hermaphroditic practices in the under-sea world, and knew what would happen to a Trans woman in a war-zone who would look absolutely stunning given Bull's Liz Taylor-like bone structure. bull listened to Prawney, smiled and responded " ..... To Transmogrify - Where Grifters change the sex of cats against their will and without parental consent.
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.... identify. This also cut down on the number of sides of beef that the Resort needed to buy to feed Bazza. So a win-win, except of course for the occasional paying guest that strayed too close ..... but hey, you have to break a few eggs etc. However, based on the occasional disappearing guests that the airlines identified as "a one-wayer" (the numbers of which we increasing as Barry got a taste for certain nationalities) the Cayman Islands were not only known as a tax haven, but also as a ........
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The above is of considerable interest to Crappy as he has a substantial tax problem at the moment after recently selling his half interest in the Aussie Airports Corporation and CASA (CASA shares sell on the dark web and are as scarce as bitcoin, even though CASA are often described as a two-bit operation.) ...... an inside job, but after entering into a JV with Cappy to reverse audit the ownership of the Islands, they found that bull's involvement was nominal only & disguised through a blind trust (named after what bull gets each Saturday night) and the Islands are actually owned by a Cayman named Barry, who often ..... Barry ....... this photo taken while he was sunbathing by the pool in a resort on the Islands that he owns. Bazza (to his mates) is very snappy with the staff and a little bit up himself.
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..... Prawny/Harry more than anything wanted bull to be his mate (Prawny had destroyed many other personal relationships in the past with his overly direct and pushy nature), plus he knew that bull had an over developed commercial brain and that bull's well-known avarice would kick in, potentially .....
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..... which is fairly standard practice with nets. "Yes" echoed Prawny "I agree with Crappy, as holes are really what nets are all about, if you ignore the ropey/stringy bits, so I call BS on your proposal bull." (Prawny was often described as overly aggressive in his negotiating style). "geez, fair go prawny" responded bull, a little miffed, "i was referring to not fixing the torn section of my nets .... although i must admit to being more into dancing and having fun, rather than net mending." Prawny realised his error and tried to think of a way to make it up to Bull, who is a sensitive soul and an empathetic prawn trawler skipper. "I tell you what Bull, old mate" said Prawny trying to recover his negotiating position "I'll ....... Prawny getting ready to chuck his weight around at a meeting of the WPC, but without his white ear buds.
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..... one of the latest AI based instant translation devices using tiny wee little white prawn specific ear buds. The prawn responded in the Azerbaijanian lingo, but it came through to bull as containing a mix of Tasmanian & Bone based colloquialisms. "geez prawny, that is fantastic, can I license those for oz" said bull. "No" responded the prawn "As I need them for use exclusively in explaining the World Prawn Council's (WPC's) policies internationally, as a result we also even translate into Dolphin as those buggers are a pain in the poo chute for us prawns. However, in the interest of frankness I need to also let you know that Turbine Technologies have taken an option if I decide to change my mind". "thanks" replied bull "if you will give me a 2nd option, I will leave these holes in the net and ...... Below is an early but larger version of the prawn earbuds. These were designed for, and tested on, sharks.
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..... and an increased catch because ..... Cappy, having never seen a C, couldn't possibly be one, like Turbo often claims. And just because I shot him too.
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"Yes maam" replied Cappy "But like a good mate, I deliberately pulled the shot so that it missed his freckle and hit him in the no-man's-land between his bits" ..... a cramp so that the razor strop (accidentally) hit him across his magnificent clenched ....... Experienced NESers, and Bernie-from-Degilbo [the one in the Wide Bay–Burnett region, & not the other one], will note how Cappy has had to correct Turbo's spelling and intent again (see "feigned"), as so many of us need to do with his posts these days.
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..... she used that index finger on her right hand, that is so visible in the photo, to ......
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I hope this this is not telling tales out of school, but when Turbo and Cappy were up the Khyber, and when Turbs was delirious after Cappy shot him near his freckle with Cappy's Three-Oh, Turbo would often mumble about the delights, the thrill, and the majesty, of "undoing 18 buttons". Cappy never understood Turbo's fixation with that action until he saw the Matron's photo, and he now has even more respect for his best mate than he had previously.
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..... "Me and the Matron are doing your sponge bath tonight, and if there is any sign of arousal the Matron will ...... The Matron when she was 25 and good looking. She could pop the top off a coke bottle with her little finger.
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.... privacy screens + weed fuelled nurse's uniform malfunctions were the order of the day. "And it's all on medical benefits" said Clarry, who voluntarily extended his hospitalization and .....
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.... dictatorial competition that for a short time saw The Turbine Corporation move into tunnel systems and offices below most of Melbournistan's municipal hospitals, and that really .....
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Known to his mates as Yessir Crack-a-Phat Turbine.
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...... the smell of cow manure, working for decades as a Chippy, and talking to his dad, Joe, about his mum's claim of being a virgin too, all while living in the West Bank of NSW, and all the time fostering good relations with the adjoining non-state of Palestoria, where ......
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Thank you for your response, OT, and I will of course accept Turbo's apology through you. ..... Cappy is always wary of responding to any accusation that he has 'tendencies", however given the high standing of the NES and the attendant need/obligation for truth in journalism, Cappy is prepared to admit an unhealthy tendency towards Tim Tams and particularly to eat them out of a ....... Cappy and his 3 brothers in leotards in the Cook family colours, taken a couple of years ago. As you can see, Cappy's has been air brushed so as not to embarrass the others.
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Hey Onesie. I have very poor reception here in Tahiti and can't read that correctly after the authorities automatically translate all posts into French, but did Turbo just refer to me as "that retard"?
