Captain
-
Posts
10,921 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
31
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Store
Aircraft
Resources
Tutorials
Articles
Classifieds
Movies
Books
Community Map
Quizzes
Videos Directory
Everything posted by Captain
-
..... untraceable, and I hear on the underworld grapevine that "Untraceable" is your middle name, so .....
-
.... but the lawyers said that they would do him a special deal on the bill + chuck in a huge cooking pot of butter chicken & 20 nan breads ...... if'n he would just bugger off. Little did Raj know that his lawyers were also partners in Turbine, Turbine, Turbine & Goblegravie, and they would be happy to sell him down the Yarra if needed. But, then the sandgroper firm of Track, Track & Track offered to take up Raj's case, as they had been Bondy's lawyers through the bad times and had just been representing The Twigster while he was trying to extract himself from the Green Hydrogen venture (sic), so Raj pricked up .....
-
.... but Turbo's celebrity status was boosted even further, if that was even possible, when the PM designate offered to sign the site where he had shot Turbo, so that Turbo could then have the signature tattooed, and photographed, for posterial posterity. Just to be clear for our thousands of NES regular viewers, the entry wound was plumb in the centre of Tubb's perineum (he was touching his toes doing calisthenics at the time) and he must have moved about 25 mm, as Cappy had aimed for his freckular spot ....... where it would have been impossible to see the wound if Cap had been on target. ..... the truck that poor Raj drew from the pool was one that had received 4 chassis repairs by the Turbine Disguised Chassis Repairs Co, which had been formed specifically to limit the reputational damage that had been caused by Tubb's faulty chassis design slide rule (Turbo had bought the slide rule duty free in BangCock, but didn't realise that the reason it was cheap was that it was 3 inches shorter than normal). Raj briefed Lawyer X with the intention to .....
-
.... your beloved Cappy is proud to say that he was one of the Gang-of-13 on that fateful Canberra day. As many of the world's leading aviation scribblers/dribblers, including Turdbro, WonTrack and bull, will attest, the so-called "AUF Day-of-Knives" made Gough Whitlam's sacking look like a Kindy Christmas Pageant, ..... but the members were ecstatic, Life Memberships were passed out like confetti, Get-Home-Itis was cured once & for all, and the AUF community of happy aviation wanderers went on like ......
-
.... after Won's demands (He has always been the power behind the throne at all political levels in WA, and also has some sympathy for the frozen souls down in Tastarctica) for a stacked secret ballot was overturned, based on a show of paws, the meeting (from meeting rooms in Burnie and Rotty by animal Skype) voted for the steroids to be replaced by meaty bites, chicken pellets, & smarties, so that the .....
-
Cappy adds the following (avref) as there haven't been too many lately, and in deference to the affiliation of the NES with Wreck Flying and Aircraft Pilates.
-
.... care, or couldn't understand, why they should be the goad-ees when they had made it into the Prelim Final this year. But then, the Rats knew that the Toads were rejoicing up in Qld with the Premiership in hand and tiny little toad sized Lions jerseys had been supplied by the club on a complimentary basis. By comparison, the Quokkas on Rotty and the Tazzy Devils on the Sth Island had nothing much to celebrate and were seeking to .....
-
..... branded the Rat army as right wingers and Nazi party members, while they characterized the Toads as immigrant asylum seekers, and suppressed all photos of Toads yelling Palestinian slogans, calling "From the Hinterland to the Sea, Queensland shall be free", below a placard of Greata Thumbird, who's similarity to a toad did not go without comment. Nigel Farage and Donald Trump sent pre-recorded messages of support for the Rats and Chris Bowen took .......
-
The Head Rat purchased these with rat bitcoin on the dark web from a very shady Turdbine Animal Clothing Store. Below is an example from their Catalogue, as the North Face Quilted Parkas sold out to those rats in the NES.
-
.... the Turbine rats took after their company founder (tough, resilient and resourceful) and used tiny little rat sized North Face quilted parkers plus teensy little Collingwood socks, both of which allowed them to survive to hit the tropics in force, and take on the Cane Toad infestation that was heading south. The result was a ........
-
Cat meat disguised as a stake.
-
.... impressed to the point of fawning, and particularly when Won went into great details on the difficulties and dangers of "The Circuit" and in particular the "Impossible Turn" to Base (avref). The crowd gasped at his mention of the "Impossible Turn". "The aerobatic maneuver named the "Won-Track-Himmelmann" is an embellishment on the bog standard Himmelmann, as the original Charlie Himmelmann was a bit of a pussy, and the WTH is a piece-of-p*#$ compared with the dangers of Straight-&-Level in the circuit, (particularly when there is a Crop Duster flying a turbine powered Air Tractor AT-802A, so he thinks it is his circuit, and his alone) which you have seen me fly with impeccable touch, coordination and finesse, ........ but then having to also turn to .....
-
Miscellaneous D7's driving around WA are now part of the "What's on in WA" website, so WA Tourism urges you stop them and take a Happy Snap, as after the recent census, there are now more D7's in WA than there are Quokkas on Rotty.
-
.... the shops making public statements about fake meat, which then encouraged Australian ladies to also fake it, but Won Track thought that was OK because it makes him seem to be a ....
-
Cappy has just realised that Tony's mustache must have also been false, and is now being worn by Turbo, as he has the same snot-line. I will find another photo of the mustachioed Tubb and post it asap.
-
.... whether Turbo's close association with Bill Gates, Tony Mokbel, and the Korean Yakuza leader, Won Track, might mean that the paper is not 86% recycled and the beef is ...... One of Tony's original wigs was brought back from Greece & takes pride of place in the Pool Room at Turbo's Toorak mansion.
-
... the AUF, although a rebel group (known as the TP/OT [or TeaPot] faction) has also nominated Barny-Bee for the Board, and if he does join the AUF Board plus become a member of One Nation as a result of Pauline's steak cooking skills, he will soon learn that they go together like a .......
-
Thank goodness that Turbo is back, so will all of the members of Wreck Flying, & of Aircraft Pilates, stop calling me with your messages of concern. The great man is well and has just been off, down south, doing some more of his trucking BS again. To those 5 or 6 members that he has chastised previously in the technical forums, bad luck, Turbo is still alive and well.
-
..... he had a bad case of Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) and had voted for Active Joey Biden the Citizen's Friend, time for Hope and Change etc. However, after meeting his Special Counsel, his TDS soon morphed into Turdbro Derangement Syndrome as Tubb's blonde hair and sunbed afterglow meant that our best mate looks like a cheap cross between Andrew Peacock, Jacinta Knitajumper Price, Warren Mundine (AO, 13 Plus and Adult Advisory, PGM), bull, and .......
-
Turbo raises a very poignant point and one which is often overlooked or avoided by less astute historians, as it is little known about the involvement of the Japanese contingent who were embedded in the British Army’s 12th Regiment of Foot (known subsequently as the East Suffolk Miner Killers) and the 40th Regiment of Foot who proudly added the name of 2nd Somersetshire Tent Burners to their battle flag. However, it was the Japanese within the pommy units who added the Hotbox and the Samurai Sword to their interrogation techniques. So Nobushi's sad outburst was well founded, and the Japanese were the reason that Peter Lalor lost his arm, when Nobushi's great, great, great grampy tried to behead Pete, but the sword slipped.
-
Not many also know that the same thing applied back when the Eureka Stockade was underway and the Filth snuck up on the brave miners riding American horses where their shoes fell off regularly and the stirrup broke on ever 2nd ride. ("Ah, American Horses ..... turning riders into Farriers and Saddlemakers since 1749" said Sargeant Headley (Harley to his mates) Davidson, as they approached Bakery Hill and turned back to repair all the breakages).
-
.... he found that their map for the Nursultan Nazarbayev International Airport in Kazakhstan would be 2 days out of date when they were halfway across the Pacific, abeam Tahiti's Faa'a International, on route to LAX. "But geez, Boy, we are only going frarm Orrstraya to Californ-I-A and we never fly (avref) to Kazakhstan" said the AA Captain (avref & Cappyref). "That matters not" replied the CASA Johnny "As you have breached rule 607.a.1,4,v.36 and I've got you by the short and curlys. When will you septics ever realize that you need to keep your ICAO GIZZ subscription up to date?" The AA Skipper (Cappyref) asked his 2nd Officer to connect him to the Turbine Family Trust, trading as Turbine Aviation Law, and the CASA FOI did a spoonful, as TAL have never lost a case and they always ........
-
The Filth's fleet of BMWs are maintained by Turbine's Mechanics Co, which is modelled after the Jim's Mowing franchise, but without the grass.
-
.... 10 minutes until the police car broke down or ran out of fuel, and the Premier called up and said "If that's a Somalian warlord that you are chasing, just stop, as we don't ever have any issues with that community. Instead concentrate on the subsidiary of Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, Turbine Tribal Weapons PLC, who I believe are supplying .....
-
"Where the hell do we get camel milk and shaax soomaalia from?" they had thought, until they discovered Turbine Tribal Foods Inc, and bought in bulk.
