Captain

.... that cynical response undervalues the worth of present day Chinese manufacturer certification. Crappy recently bought 6 outside lights that were Chinese certified to be IP65 dust and waterproof, which leaked during the 1st heavy dew, but I am certain that aviation hinges would be manufactured to a higher standard, although nobody recognizes the approval numbers that have been quoted for those National and aircraft manufacturer's standards .... but I'm sure they will be OK, although my standard limit of Liability and Warranty clauses do apply, especially the one that says "If Turdy has a big one it's nothing to do with me." Just then, Nobu must have walked past a computer on his way to Ninja practice, as I received a message which said "G'day Clappy. Prease add to the NES that I did not say "XXXX the guards" as leported by Turdy. What I actuarry said was "XXXX the XXXXs" and when they heard that they ......

..... Turbo hopes to be just like him when he is over 50. Because Turbo is my best mate, I have bought him a full set of C210 aileron hinges off ebay, as the Chinese manufacturer certifies that they meet or exceed all Australian, US, Boeing and Airbus standards, so they will .....

However OT, ever the WA inventor extraordinaire, carries a carbon fiber stepladder of his own unique design which enables him to do some quite tall stuff, sufficient that he always checks the colour of his fingernails for hypoxia (after scraping off the Cat brand grease and WA sand-based grime).

.... parking up whenever Turbs was lucky enough to locate a Grongy Chic (the mythical GC) who was willing to go down .....

..... , which is a particularly cruel term to use to describe a height challenged person, but being a bit stumpy is ....

While Cappy and Turbo will always call it Grongy, and have fond memories of their exploits there. Turbo is having trouble at the moment accepting that he was and is Gen Baby Boomer, whereas he is also "hip" & now behaves like he is Generation Alpha (2013 to 2024), where he brings potato chips, Coke and ruskets to a TikTok dance — and still steals the show, and he calls memes ‘those funny picture postcards’ and prints them out for sticking onto his fridge using with Freightliner & Offenhauser fridge magnets.

.... ? The .....

.... the sounds of .....

PS .... Both OT and bull have been quiet for a while. Hope they are OK.

.... as the inspiration for the Big Thing was a fun-lover (and a fun lover as the CWA girls are aware). Not many people know that the reason that Cappy built the ever reliable 6 cylinder 230 was to visit every CWA Branch in OZ and try to score. The outcome was spectacular, but the results will be kept under wraps to protect the guilty. Suffice to say that many a CWA branch, and their associated local nursing home, were happier places after his visit. As the Weapons Officer, Cappy was still unsure what buttons to press to optimize the weaponry in order to provide best protection for Doubtfire, as a redheaded sizeable woman in the Spratleys wearing traditional Chinese dress will stand out like the proverbial .... but he still had time ..... and as the Drifter Lurker Drone was now over Vietnam, Cappy decided to drop a 200 pounder on the bloke who shot his mate Tommy at Long Tan, so he called on Turbo to hold her steady while he looked thru the bomb aimer. "Right a bit Tubb" he said "Steady", "Left a bit" and then dropped the humorous line that all bomb aimers use, when he said "Back a bit" .... & they all laughed ..... and he released the bomb. As the DLD cleared the cost of Malaysia, the thing occurred that all remote drone operations have grown to loath, when both Tubb and Cappy both felt the call and needed to ablute without delay. It was like their tracts had synchronized, because .....

.... even after a fully mechanised Chico Roll production line was installed, the demand kept building and an opportunity was established to turn the statue into a "Big Thing", with a rotating restaurant inside the head, so that .....

..... the Council had done a deal to buy the poxy Mextorian Dan Andrews statue (which depicts him covered in windscreen glass & standing triumphant over the Bike Boy), so they quickly cut the bike boy section off and remelted it, then took an Oxy to Dan's face and prepared to remodel that using a bust that is the combination of Rock Hudson (NTTIAWWT) and Alexander the Great. The CWA girls in the town were a bit excited, but given that Turbs and Cappy were still on their mission, the girls were safe and the ......

.... when Turbs was found wandering the streets of Moorabbin in his PJs & with his Teddy under his arm. Some well-meaning NESer went to Moorabbin HiFi and bought him another cheap & on-special VR headset and showed him which end of his body it fitted onto, so via a dodgy Wi-Fi connection at the local Coffee Shop (Moorabbin Mocca & Macchiato Makers) Tubb was back at the controls of the drone (isn't technology wonderful) and ...... A photo from the MM&MM website as they tried to get it fitted.

Apologies to our thousands of dedicated readers, but Turbo dropped his virtual reality glasses and broke them, so the Drifter Lurking Drone is now over Thailand following the same track (OTref) as MH370 ..... but worry not, as not many people know that Tubb is very adept at getting out of bad situations, and I am confident that he can either get us back to the Spratleys to save Doubty, or we will find MH370 out west of the Abrolhos. Cappy is just the Weapons Officer and is not permitted to touch the flight controls, so I am waiting just like youze thousands are.

.... because Turbo is ever loyal to his mission buddy and has often gone wayyyyy out of his way to hide Crappy's indiscretions. Cappy particularly liked The Tazzy Devil and Daffy Duck cartoons, and even more when they were dressed up in those costumes on Pornhub, but as is usual for Cappy, the mission and his best mate came first, so he dedicated himself to being just the Weapons Officer, turned off Bugs doing stuff to Daphne Duck and .....

..... Turbid tracked (OTref) towards the Spatleys on a Langley approved watch, wait and see (WW&S) mission which required a terrific degree of patience, something that Turgid has in spades, as proven by his waiting to see the Libs back in power in Vicmanistan. Langley had given him their latest set of Virtual Reality goggles, where he can idle the Drifter (now operating as a Lurker (Bernieref) Aerial Asset which he can just maintain station gliding into the wind at idle at 27,000 ft, monitoring all aspects of the flight (and targetting) thru the left side of the VR headset, while for a long mission such as this, at the same time he can watch Bugs Bunny Cartoons or torrid porn through the right side of the headset. Turbo chose the ......

.... so Doubtfire had 2 guardian angels, with Crappy keeping in touch with her via the Aussie equivalent of 2 fruit cans and a length of string, only available between 6.46 & 7.02 pm on a good day because the ASIO budget is tight (and the Minister needs to fly over to the [Fly In F$%k About] FIFA World Cup), and Turbs has the full resources of Langley, Elon's satellites + rockets, and he also has a squadron of personal drones, which is apt as he can drone on at times. Turbo's favorite Tool (apart from Cappy) was ......

.... black sunnies and a black bedsheet can do for a woman's attractiveness. So, any Chinese ISIS leaders on the Spratleys were in deep strife once Doubty gets there and dons the ASIO issued "official mix in with the locals grandma disguise" (the usual ASIO OMIWTLGD kit), which also includes ......

..... which had originally been owned by Pope Alexander VI — Rodrigo Borgia (or Roddy to his mates), and had been gifted to the Skipper by Sophia Loren, who was a relo of Roddy's. The crushing of those precious beads occurred when Cappy learnt that Doubtfire had been coopted to ASIO in the ISIS Insurrection Section and in true Canberra fashion, she was about to be sent to the Spratleys dressed as a Chinese grandma to see what ISIS leaders she could find. Now Doubtfire is a comely woman with red hair & considerable cleavage, so for her own good Crappy thought that perhaps .....

..... to be ....

..... which was made all the more incriminating when, in full view of Doubtfire, who was transfixed, Turbo zipped up ........................ his parka and ......

..... because after her relatively short time transferred to VicPol it was clear that she was speaking in riddles, just like Jazzy does, but more importantly, like all VicPol coppers, all they respect of physical force ................................ or cash (Apologies, or course, to any VicPol wallopers that have squirrelled away enough of that backhander/brown envelope cash to buy a recreational aircraft and are now enchanted by the NES). Turbo took that spike stick and lined up to ......

..... flexed his magnificent back, neck and arm muscles, the 5 big ABUS paddys broke, and the stocks burst asunder .... think about the Hulk but even more magnificenter. (This dear readers, including our thousands of international subscribers is believed to be the 1st time that the word "asunder" has been used in this beautiful tome) [Please also note that international subscriptions to the NES are available via Turbine International Subscriptions of Oman PL. Eean doesn't know that there is a quid being earnt from his NES (Eean is to blame for starting this), but he's such a good bloke that he won't mind]. With the stocks smashed forsooth, your Captain went down to the copshop to see Doubtfire and he stood betwixt the cell doors and her desk, where, reminded by Turbo's last post he said "Hey Doubty, did I ever tell you that I shot Tubb in the freckle with a three-oh up the Khyber?" To which she replied "Why didn't you tell us earlier, as we have been trying to catch him red handed for between 6 & 8 decades, and if you can give us some ......

..... would leave their kids with Turbine Child Minding, so this provided free nippers on which to test the Milk-O labelled Margarine byeproducts. Whenever the kids said Milk-Ohhhhhthattasteslikecrap, Tubb always insisted that 10 more nippers were tested before a definitive decision was taken. There was a constant flow of new Milk-O products and formulations that came into OZ from Turbine Wuhan Labs PLC and it was only after Turbo moved production into old concentration camps in Ukraine & Belarus that the Wuhan lab was forced to go batshit crazy in association with some US dwarf who ......

.... not many people know that the Turbine Corporation control and are behind the Wilmar International company, which commands a 16.4% global market share in Margarine production and sales. It was Turbo, the great industrialist, who initially chose the name "Marge" after one of his 1st loves (she took Turbo's raspberry during a torrid time together on the bonnet of the 'Vette), and this transitioned on to be named Margarine after he had an affair with Irene soon after Marge gave him the flick. (After Marge & Irene, he was addicted to "it" and has been ever since, such that the term was initially "nymphoturbiac" before it was changed to be multi-gender & non-Turbo specific). It is also little known that the Turbine Canola Co have 100% plant breeder's rights over that crop and will not sell seeds to anyone else, so every yellow crop that you see, worldwide, is owned by our very own Tubb, and in that way he is the margarine boss of the world, and also the ..... The reason why Canola crops have such tough/hard stalks is because they designed it after Turbo's .... and he is therefore personally responsible for all of the glider wheel punctures from when they land-out in harvested Canola paddocks).