Captain
-
Posts
11,051 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
35
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Store
Aircraft
Resources
Tutorials
Articles
Classifieds
Movies
Books
Community Map
Quizzes
Videos Directory
Everything posted by Captain
-
.... every time that Robin-of-Loxley heads out to do some antisocial circle work at the Deni Ute Muster, where a Chicko Roll is classed as exotic wog tucka ..... except perhaps for when they go super exotic cannibal, and someone sets fire to another of the attendees like they did last time, because in the region around Deni that is called .....
-
..... tried to prove that he wasn't just focused on Dagos & their tucka, but to be specific, he went on to list Eyeties, Lebs, Ruskys, Maltesers and various other wops, but once the Chinese or WA came up for a mention, it was .....
-
There is a very well-known expression in Melbourne that gets a giggle from all underworld hard-men and it is "Shotty pellets on the aluminium nameplate make Lavazza really p!ssed off".
-
..... , and when he is lucky, he has Mrs Turbine or some floozy sitting on his lap, sometimes even facing him, but just at the crucial time one of the plastic chair legs always gives way and folds in that "pierce-ya-bum" (pyb) kind of a fashion that causes an involuntary clench which kills the ardor, and also the ...... If Turbs had just $1 for every time this happened, he would be an even richer man. But on the bright side, he has used them as free birth control for almost 3/4 or a century.
-
.... purchases shares & other equities based on what Turbo discusses with him when they meet to have their coffee and cake every few days in Lygon St. Crappy has found this to be well worth his while, despite the drive-by shootings because the various Melbournistan Crews mistake Turbs for Carl Williams or Mick Gatto. Why, just last week poor Gavin "Capable" Preston was mistaken for Turbo "You-Can-Do-Anything" Turbine, who was sitting with Crappy discussing the SpaceX IPO just before he had to duck in order to ......
-
..... such that Elon wants to include Turbine Rock Lobster Farms (TRLF) in his upcoming Starlink IPO (SIPO), however Tubb (who is a good mate of Elon as well as best mate of Cappy) has strategically excluded Turbine Yabbies Inc (TYI) and the Turbine Refined Marron Conglomerate (the TRMC) from any access by the Musk machine. (While Turbo's people are talking with Elon's people, so far it is at a stalemate bigger that the US and Iran). Not many people know, as you would never suspect it, that some cynical members of Wreck Frying, or whatever it is called now, think that the NES may be far-fetched, yet here we are with proof positive that .....
-
..... always surfing in a big aluminumium cage that he pinched from a shark dive boat at Port Lincoln. Not many people know that Port Lincoln (then called Lincoln, because it was just a beach and a kabab shop) has been home to CCi and the Endeavour, which was originally named the "Strive-Very-Hard" until 2 of the crew were taken by Great Whites as they frolicked naked on the Lincoln foreshore, so CCI renamed it so that the stigma of having crew eaten would not stick, and frighten the tourists away. WA is still learning that lesson today, known in scientific circles as the "Jaws Conundrum". As a result of Kelly C's great example, the Geraldton Industrial Park filled with aluminumium fabricators and the WA Premier, (another Cook from a branch of the family arising from Jimmy's time as a young, but obviously fertile, cabin boy having fun with the ladies from the Batavia), little Roger Cook, said that this boost for Geraldton would soon overtake the rock lobster industry (which Labor & the Greens espouse should not be eaten, as they are nice little crustaceans that actually have nicer personalities than they taste), and would ....... Below is a recent photo of Kelly C taking a right at Margaret River.
-
.... reinvested at the Blue Oyster, where they have a couple of doors behind which was populated with off-shift itinerant Firies and bored Cocky's wives .... which, once thru and closed again, it is said that time "stands still" to quote Semen bull. Pee-Oh Joe, the Kepper of the Key felt that he was under appreciated, as being just a Kepper meant that he was a long 2nd to Harry Turdbine, and Joe resolved to ......
-
.... , until Semen bull pointed out that while possessing a key was interesting & symbolic in itself, a key that was without a lock that was without a Time Door (TD) to fit into, is like a red corvette on a sunny (optimisticref) Melbournistan day, without a .....
-
.... of the midshipmen realized that all of the 707's are parked up in Arizona, except the one that John Travolta has, which is parked up at his joint, so all of a sudden, the crew realised that the 707 analogy was a curse and the Golden Star(Liner) became same like the Boeing Starliner and was stuck in Tahiti, as its namesake was at the ISS. This made finding the Time Door (TD) doubly important, so they went to look in the ......
-
.... the increase in the rat population of Taswegia, so that the Tasmanian Tiger became so fat and lazy that they became extinct and didn't even care about it. (The last one was named "Thylacine" by his mates, except he didn't have any.)
-
..... when he found that they were taking a short cut via .....
-
... George got very upset if they didn't average 17.5 knots for the entire journey, including farewells, untying, docking/tying up and for visits to several Polynesian islands on the way, where ......
-
..... (RM's), which was all the fault of the Admiralty in 1740 when they insisted that all able seamen should climb the yardarm pantless .... which also coincided with a period when there were a number of quite fruity Admirals in charge .... but hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it, because as the old saying goes ..... That reminds Cappy of when he was completing his Law Degree at Oxford, there was a story going around about Winston Churchill, where his aid briefed him one morning that one of the Lords had been caught in a park overnight being intimate with a guardsman. "Churchill asked "Wasn't the temperature below freezing last night?" to which his aid nodded affirmatively. Then Winston replied, "Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?"
-
... chafed nipples and the skin inflamed on your bum, hence why CCI's orginal ship had been called the Golden Hind-Quarters, and that could also lead to .....
-
.... for the competition, so while swearing to abide by the rules, behind their hands it was agreed that if CCVII won, he would be the subjected to tribal law .... and while they told CCVII that he would win a Wahine who might kill him with kindness, and while, like all in his family, this prospect made the blood rush from CCVII's head, in the background astute ears could hear spears being sharpened by the community's Black & Decker angle grinder, which was ......
-
Even though the Eastern Road at Redbanks is littered by wrecked cars and dead Diprotodons. This was a valuable development for the local Aboriginal tribe who had been taken to court by a 28 million Aussies Class Action for selfishly & systematically exterminating these lovable big wombats over the last 20,000, 40,000, 60,000 years .... and here they were, now able to prove in open court that the big buggers were still around and that the tribe/clan/nation had been doing the country a favor by keeping the roads uncluttered by these oversized hairy-arsed dangers to traffic.
-
... a good and worthy break along the North Shore where CCVII could get a decent left, as he was a goofy footer and his triple fin 10-footer meant that he could .......
-
"So, no $150 hamburgers for us mate" commented the AK with a glint in his eye and glancing at CCVII's pink succulent calf.
-
.... he wanted to be friendly and cooperative, like are all of the members of the Cook family, but several technical issues got in the way. "Excuse me my good chap" said CCVII, ever the gentleman (and always bearing in mind what befell CCI in this region due to a sharp object between the shoulder blades) "But what are the good people of Kealakehua Bay doing with the guts of an extinct car-sized Aussie wombat (a good example of which was found at Redbanks, just east of Burra, SA,) and when + how did you learn that their guts kept the green gas in, while also complying with the FAA regulations contained in 14 CFR Part 31 – Airworthiness Standards: Manned Free Balloons, with particular reference to the several operational rules in Part 91 and certification/maintenance rules in Part 21 and Part 43?" The affable Kamehamehan (AK), thought a moment, gave them an embarrassingly long scratch, pulled out the byelaws of the Kamehameha Fixed Wing and Balloon Club (the KFW&BC), and quoted from the Introduction which said "........
-
..
-
Not many people know that Cappy has been locked in a long and mutually pleasurable relationship with one of Ned's female progeny from his secret life in Qld. After a long session after which she expressed effusive thanks, she gave Cappy the original of a secret sepia rubbing showing Ned's brother on the way to Melbourne, block of ice in place. You can see where the armor had chafed him, as he was a different fit to Ned on the armor sizing scale, but squeezed into it never- the-less, in order to save his more famous brother. This has great historic significance and ties together so well the ground-breaking data disclosed in Tink's recent long post. PS This rubbing is now being considered for inclusion on the obverse of the new $5 note.
-
And so Dear Readers. How can someone of Crappy's limited composition skills follow that. Crappy is overwhelmed. Turdboy wins the NES story development skill quest and at the same time kills off the NES as Crappy feels inadequate and will now go back into his box, ...................... some say good. Prior to his retirement Cappy can however attest that Rob's story is correct as Cappy's bushranger rello, Thunderbox, always reckoned that Ned made a cameo showing at the annual B&S Ball (Bushrangers and Sinners Ball) where he was inducted into the Bushranger's Hall of Fame.
-
.... when they all fell into a boredom induced slumber and Turbo, ever the opportunist, went to visit their womenfolk.
-
.... sending his twice hung body up to his ancestral home of Kellyville in Sydney, where his old mum gave him a belting with an RM Williams belt, buckle side out, for being a naughty boy and not apologising for his bad behaviour. Then it was back to Melbournistan on the train with a block of ice on his chest to contain the wiff, to be photographed and ......
