Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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And there, dear readers, plus our tens of thousands of NES lurkers, endeth the NES, there being no way to continue. So has it been deliberately shut down or has Turbo's computer/tablet/phone, or whatever else he uses, simply run out ....'s. If so, Cappy would be happy to lend Turbo 5 ..'s until payday ....... or pension day.
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FAIRNESS WARNING FOR ALL NESers. It has just come to Cappy's attention that the above image may possibly have been enhanced by AI, .......... so Grot's mum was certainly ahead of the game with her AI skills. The bloke at lower left is from Turbine's Prehistorical Nails & Beauty and is giving it a pedicure and nail trim, which can be dangerous if you trim the nails too short so that it hurts.
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..... , and in considering Grot's predicament it pays to remember that prehistoric crocodilians (PCs) were not the pissy little 20 footers that Turbo and Cappy sometimes wrestle today for the tourists at Steve's joint (so that they can check out Bindi & her mum). Back then they were more sizeable and below is a pic that Grot's mum took with her box brownie, when men were men (well partly developed Homos-apiens anyway) and the Crocs were proper full sized, although ..... That is Grot standing fully erect for the 1st time, at the bottom of the arrow.
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..... crocodilian .....
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..... that this is ideal material for making the bangy bit in the centre of a bolt bomb, [which were all the rage when Cappy was at high school (Yes, dear readers, he did proudly go that far with his edumacation)] so he scraped the red bits off the matches (which were thereafter known as "Heads" or "Blunt Toothpicks"}, put them inside the nut, added a cap from his cap-gun, screwed in the other bolt and headed around to throw it at Throg's mum's cave, after which ..... See the latest Hamas video below .... all liability denied.
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For those NESers unfamiliar with "The Big and Expansive History of Mankind" as written by Cappy, published by Turbine Press, and for sale in the city via Turbine and Robinsons & on the interweb via Turdazon or AmaTurd, the evidence is now clear from original neandertal cave paintings found in France, and in identical Egyptian hieroglyphs from which the following is a direct scanned copy.
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It is little known that the first use of the wheel was to use the timber offcuts to make skateboards. This invention made the Neanderthals very jealous as all of their females loved the freedom and antisocial acts of the Homo-S skateboarders as they zoomed around the front of Neanderthal caves and buggered up their paintings with their wheel tracks.
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..... had invented the single greatest advancement for homos-apiens since they developed the term "Hunter-Gatherer" and Grok Turbine had come up with "Redhead matches", but hadn't yet worked out what to do with them, until .....
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Hence why there are so few children in Nepal.
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As all NESers would know, it is not easy being the Campside Cook, a Forward Scout and the Commanding Officer, but the Cooks have performed that role ever since Fred and Wilma first did "it" in the back seat of his peddle car. Wilma getting ready for once they drop off Barney and Betty. All NESers should applaud Onesie's clever play on the Flintstone name. ..... perfected the tail dragger (dogwithwormsref) undercarriage, the Unicycle, the Menstrual Cycle, the Malvern Star, and the .....
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If any NESer wants a kukri, Cappy can get you one cheap via Cappy being the Grand Poobah of the Knights Templar. Cappy can also get you a special life insurance & funeral deal (mainly funeral) if you want to come and fight for us in Syria.
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..... spent time with the Gurkhas in order to hide his activities behind the lines in China, where he became so expert and precise with wielding a kukri that one of the many Japanese restaurants in Tibet offered him a job chucking eggs across the BBQ, using his kukri to make roses out of radishes, and ...... What Cappy's great, great, great grandy can do with one radish and his kukri.
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Mind you, this is because the Bok Choi is the same tenderness as a palm frond. And even the water is hard.
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.... to earn the additional campaign ribbons that get the chicks in every Anzac Day. But a kukri on each ear can be deleterious to one's shoulders, but would surely be handy in the event that a Gurkha tries to ..... A brown kbar, which is what the enemy does when it is used affectively.
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Most Stihl owners ask that question until they graduate up to a Husqvarna or Honda chainy or Whipper Snapper.
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...... as to save wear & tear on his Gerber Multi Tool, not to mention the Dersert Storm cammo KBar strapped to his leg, and the .....
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..... ability to chuck Harleys over his shoulder came from his family's long-standing practice of flicking pigs over a height stick, then after their manhood initiation program (sometimes involving circumcision with an early model Leatherman), they flicked steers (but never heifers, as the family has respect for the females of any species). Ted then strutted down the middle of Bayliss St, pulled his Leatherman from its pouch, and .....
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Cappy thanks his mate, Turbo, for this explanation and for straightening out his misunderstanding. Cappy apologizes for any angst that this may have caused.
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..... there was Doubtfire, stepping forward to protect the Cockies with thighs that are the personification of fat lady's thighs, and also with biceps like fat lady's thighs (all 100% unshaven) and with her firm long black truncheon erect & at the ready.[Some NESers who have dated Doubtfire in the past have questioned her ethnicity and trans status, but we shall leave that for another post]. So for all NESers that like their ladies to be carrying a bit of beef and to be on the cuddly side (and I know that you are out there), I invite you to consider the SaA's predicament and ......
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...... actually pink faced Charley Artificial-Insemination (another clever sheep reference) who is in your spot in his Subaru Brumby ute, so perhaps we need to go outside and check before we ......
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.... John Deere t-shirts outside a set of RMW moleskins, with a ...... In the Riverina you can still see the original colours of the various clothes, whereas in WA they are all the same dirty ochre colour, and in Melbournistan the only t-shirts permitted to be worn are red with "I love Dan", "Jacinta loves Machetes" or "Jacinta is Hot" on them.
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.... the den of iniquity that is the Blue Oyster, where, with Robin of Loxley, the TurgidPlonker, bull, the Only-ever-had-one-root, and Doubty, they all ......
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Then defrocked and deflowered (again) in 2024 when .....
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..... see who could pay the most for the R. M. Williams conglomerate. OT's penchant for sub-continent labour led him to ask Albo, over their 7th glass of PIMS "Hey, Tony, given my proven skills, do you reckon that I could get Penny back over the fence?" Tone thought long and hard, and replied " .....
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Cappy is also familiar with the term Sky Pilot being a reference to the Clergy or God Botherers. This "Sky Pilot" term also seems apt, as it carries with it a connection to Papal Infallibility, which ties in well with the technical and aviation skill sets & standing/high regard in which Turbo and Onesie are held. But I prefer "Sky Pilate" given the subtle reference to Pontius, and given Turbo's and Onesie's ability to sentence anyone to a forum-based punishment, or even digital death, who makes an error on the technical aspects of the aviation arts ........... or they can, of course choose to Welease Wodger ... or Pwaney in our case.
