Captain

...... it is uncanny that even today, how much our beloved Turbo looks similar to the 132 year old Rafer (identical skin and almost the same hair) and where the Turbine family tradition was borne, in that all of the boys were dressed in pink MouMous and 6 times a day chanted that "I am a proud prince or princess (NTTIAWWT) and my strategic opinions really matter.".

It was some years later, dear reader where the following occurred and this explains a lot about one of the ongoing issues on WreckFlying ......... and that was that one of the very delicate but still prince-like boys of the Iolani line was made to stand in a corner and repeat over and over and over again "I am of royal blood and while strategy can compensate for lack of talent, talent never compensates for lack of strategy."

Even to this very day, Turbine's seafaring ancestry is evident in his love of the open sea, in his skill with numerous outboard motors, his expertise on an 89 surfboard, what he can do in an outrigger canoe, his suggestive dexterity with a coconut & a couple of palm fronds, in his numerous nautical publications and in .............

A couple of Turbine's sisters

..... he decided to stand against Don at the next AUF board election.

"Not providing any details or CV is likely to result in rejection by the membership" responded the office in Fish'sWick.

"Rejection schmejection" replied Rafer "All I have ever wanted was ...........

......... in response, which Rafer immediately recognised as stage 1 of Kazz's ritualistic foreplay.

Rafer thought "I 'm in with a chance here, so I must not mess this up. I must think of the most romantic thing I can possibly say."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Rafer darling?" slinked Kazzz, loosening her bustle after a tussle.

"Too right I am Kazz, baby, .......... so when you throw up over the side of the ship (as Tink described it) will you please try to miss the ship and hit the water on the full in future as it takes me forever to clean up the tomato, the cauliflower and the turnip chunks. Now, let's promenade up onto the foredeck and how about it?"

Kazz turned to Turbine and thought for a long time ..... then said "If you ............

.......... employees, as I have a substantial silent shareholding in the premier Immigration Lawfirm, www.immigationlawfornewarrivalswithlotsofdough.law.prettyexpensivebutwealwayswin.turdy.wripoff.au

"But before proceeding further in the NES" said Turbine, "I wish to pay my respect for the traditional owners of the WreckFrying website, both past & present and to all of the slimy leach-like Rainbow Serpent type Moderattori both past & present, and the little tiny brown birds of the air as well as the creepy reptiles and tiny little insects that burrow into children's eyes while they sleep, both past and present."

"Time for some of my highly alcoholic GPQ Scrumpy while we listen to this PC garbage" said Jack Rat to Poxy Loxy and Ah as they sat at his desk to discuss another proposition.

"We are sitting on a goldmine" said Loxly.

"No I'm not" replied Ah.

"No Ah, I said that we are, not that you, Ah, are."

"But I'm not" responded Ah "Am I Turbine?"

"I'd need to try before I buy" answered Turbine in typical investor and Corvette owner fashion, "But let us forget about such earthly pleasures, or any other pleasures for that matter, and listen to what Loxly has to say."

"We are sitting on a goldmine" repeated Loxly.

"No I'm not" replied Ah.

"Yes we A-R-E" emphasised AhLox.

"Ah" said Ah, then asked "Why you pinch my name?".

"The goldmine is ...... that I reckon that we can export this lava stuff as handwarmers. All we have to do is grab pieces about the size of a cake of soap as soon as it's out of the volcano them wrap it is fluffy asbestos presentation packs which will .............

Loxy's 1st attempt at lava harvesting.

And here is Ah having a crack (NTTIAWWT) at it too.

Turbine taking publicity shots for the new venture.

Turbine's Lava hot spring, resort and handwarmer production facility.

The finished product has been an outstanding success.

....Ala Wah canal which carries the sewage of Honolulu into the sea at Waikiki Beach, where.........

..... where it is collected and made into house-bricks for the poor by the Hawaiian Greens.

Sarah Handjob-Kohanamoocow rushed in front of the TV crew and said "We love our excreta-bricks, in which I am pleased to announce that Turbine has taken a substantial minority shareholding, and has leant his prestigious name so that for marketing purposes they will be known as © Turdy .........

....... they sat on the outdoor area of the Kīlauea Aeroclub and Volcano Shelter (where the members complained at Turbine's description of it just being just a "strip").

"Turbine doesn't really have a clue" said one of the members "As this is more like an international airport which is located downwind from the ..............

For the interest of casual readers of the NES, who are fascinated and enthralled by the characters described herein, the beloved but sensitive Jack Rat also opened a very successful Cider vending business (see photo below) which dominated the economy and politics of the islands for many dynasties. He is extremely modest and would never provide details, but I can say here that some time in the last 75 years one of Jack Rat's offspring has been President and another was a long serving Prime Minister of Austria.

....... not keep rabbiting on about the potential for a surfing industry here'abouts.

"You're a dickhead, Jack" said Little Johnny Roxoff when he heard what Jack was sprouting at the Pineaplle Treat and Tart store. (Ah was the Treat & Johnny was the Tart). Little JR then added "My uncle is Duke Katana-Moto and he also says that you are a wanka". (This discussion, dear reader, is very un-Moderator-like and is almost identical to what Ahlow says to poor Ratty when they discuss various subjects every time that they meet for coffee and cake each week .......... and that is why Ratty lacks self-confidence).

"That's poppycock, and any other 'c0ck that you can think of " decreed Turbine (AvRef), who was always willing to grind poor Ratty (NTTIAWWT) down, while at the same time he bought a very substantial minority shareholding (and a silent directorship that was described in an unregistered side-letter) in Jack Rat's new company, which was called ......

......... what's the good of a bloody jellyfish at a time like this?"

"That's a Portuguese Man-o-War you dill" cried Rafer with an attitude similar to Tink on WreckFrying. "A British Man-of-War is just a poxy little Blue-Bottle that wears a cravat."

"No, you drongo" replied Cap'n Jack "It's a bloody big ship with guns that can ..............

Nobu giving an almost identical impersonation of Capt. Jack Starling. "I couldn't tell him from the real Capt. Jack" said bull "they are absorutery the same broke, I leckon ". (My aunt thinks that bull believes that it was Jackie Chan who impersonated Johnny Depth while he played Cap'n Jack in Tink's latest relapse to the not so Civil War ..... see part of the original script in Tink's post # 10129)."

A picture of Tink's good ship Venus as described in his post # 10129. This vessel was historically significant in that with anything bigger than a 200 mm chop it also became the U-XIXVII.

........sunbaking under the path of...........

..... the 6.05 REX Saab from Melbourne.

"Geeez Louise, Mummy" said the little kid in 6A while looking down and rejoicing in the Riverina countryside around WW, but as they headed further in on approach and over a certain questionable building on The Esplanade, he was shocked and added "Hey Mummy. Why does that fireman have his dacks around his ankles and his ...........

....... the hose drying tower is used for .........

...... the member's members can sometimes be ..........

.......... "What's a vip? But I like living on the edge so I'm game for a private gaming room at the Crown, as anything that is "private" has connotations of .............

.......... yelled Tristan, a trusted ASIO Operative "If youze don't freeze you will make an AS out of I and Others" he added with somewhat opaque logic. "It's similar to making an Ass out of U and Me if you "assume" something" he added in an attempt to clarify the ASIO in-joke (but it did make them both titter a tad).

"And those CASA guys ARE a bunch of girls." contributed Algernon Clive-Crudgington, Tristan's partner "Although when we say "partner" we mean that we are a crack (NTTIAWWT) operative team, not that we co-habitate or touch each other or anything while on duty."

"We remember Turbo (or "Agent Orange 06.5" as he is better known) from a number of his famous Old-Bag Ops when he was a section head running our SE Melbourne Office where there was ...........

Our beloved Tink (Agent 0.5 3/4), in disguise during one of his Old Bag Ops.

.......... clank it over while you sit up on the cowl and splay the aelostart into the carbuleters."

This cooperation between this well known ex-Cowla prisoner and a worldly wise but somewhat intolerant Queensrander brought tears to the eyes of many observers and showed the good that is in all of us ........... yet reminded some of the more cynical bastards of that well known biblical tale of the fawn pulling the barbed-wire out of the foot of the lion (or Nanna spending time in Rygon St with Turdy as he became aroused).

All was sweet until the Zero sprang into life and bull was immediatery blown 300 metres backwards with his can of aelostart held ploudry aroft.

"Sorong sucker" yelled Sir Nobu as he gunned the Zelo on Bone's well known yet infamous spaceshuttle length lunway 27 right which was rined with emergency services vehicles "I shall raunch down this lunway and shall fry all the way to ................

"..."Just frah it for 15 minutes, and add ever sparce in the reck, and you'll be fahn" General Turbine said, and so.......................

......... well why do you write and sound like a kiwi?" asked Harland, who had just come back from a weekend at his baaatch on the river at Sh!tter's Ditch wearing his swanny and his jandals. "There's an apostrophe in Shitter's you waaaanka, the spices are in the reck, your sister has a fine reck, your car should be at the reckers, and reck off bro." he added for effect.

Garrett Turbine looked at the disrespectful Harland in the same way that some of the Board (particularly Miles & Miles) looked at those that called the EGM and said .............

named it "Dead Horse" and I intend to flog it until its back in the air....or the damn time machine takes you back 3 days so I can rinse and repeat from post 10106 to 1010106.......

Rat suddenly looked unwell, and Turdy started contemplating his belly button fluff as the thought of repeating the R&T story for a mere million more times........

 

Rat said " We are in NES land known to repeat ourselves from time to time! but do we really need to........

....... repeat ourselves from time to time occasionally every now and again, so often? As we are in NES land & saying things over and over again is like repeating ourselves from time to time!

"Now now now now, don't you you you worry about that (are you you from the ABC?)" said Madge who had buggered off from the NES for a while to partake of higher office ....... and make a run for an OA for services to something or other.

"You must do wait and balance calcs on wait and shift aircraft" repeated Turbs.

"Geeeez those ducks nearly nipped my plonker" restated Andy.

But Lord Byron, the Mayor of Dandy-nong, was the only one to come up with anything fresh and he proclaimed ".................

....a little bit lost, or he's fallen out of a time machine which..................

.......... is what f'n Q is all about, as their promotional slogan used to say "Fine one day, 1956 the next ....... eh."

"Too right ..... eh" said bull as he stepped from the great silver-tubed and ragged bird once when he accidentally crossed the border near St George after a nor-easter had blown him south for a week and he observed "This is like I have gone forward 50 years ......... eh, what with this ...........

...... to me.

bull was offended and drew himself up to his full height.

"Ah says, stand up boy" yelled Beauregard sounding like Foghorn Leghorn.

"I am" said bull doing an impersonation of Rob Bridon's little man in a box (Here bull at

).

"Leave him to me, Beau" said Scarlet "As I didn't use my vial on those other 2 (because they didn't need any encouragement) and this bull fellow seems to be ............

...... Corporal Loxoff unfortunately landing in a chicken pen where............

......... he was given a peck ......... on the cheek .......... being the same cheek that was so scarred when the ducks caught Andy.

Andy and Loxie retired to the drawing room with Scarlet, 3 mint juleps & a vial of a well known date-rape drug, to compare scars and to see if she had any needs.

In the meantime Scarlet considered which of them was the least vile and on whom she would use her vial.

At almost that same time, General Norman Ulysses Charlston Turbine was replaced by Major General Abraham Roots Eaton-Lysholm Supercharger, which resulted in reduced lag in his ..............

.........is sitting in his fire truck waiting for...........

...... someone to come along and unlock it.

"What's wrong with that?" aksed Ahlow as he finished reading his latest edition of "The Sporty Pilot", which is the aviation equivalent of that well known centrefold magazine "Women's Health and Sex Tips". "Whoooooorh" added Ahlo as he considered a rather suggestive foldout of the latest Sports Szar, and he ...............

.......made from white LED lights snitched from truckies as they sleep by Gastro, who at one time used to steal hubcaps off cars, but was put out of business by the mag wheel. He'd thought about taking the whole wheel, but could never work out how to use a jack. These days he tells us he flies a....................

....... kite on WreckFrying every couple of weeks, just to wind up Turbo and to then take the Micky out of him.

"Don't blame me for that" commented Michael "As I have never had such a relationship with Turdboy, although I do enjoy long conversations with him about Recreational Rule Changes, the 3 rd theory of pendular behaviour, whether Freightliners are better than Sterlings, whether Ahlox is the best Moderator or whether Ahlox has buggered off (NTTIAWWT) from WreckFrying and may never be seen again on the NES, and ...............

TURBO'S 5 TH THEORY OF PENDULAR MOMENTUM leading to his conclusion that Wait/Shift aircraft will never be able to fly about 6ft AMSL, and for which he has received some stick.

....digital display in neon. A spin off from that is a ..............

......... large coloured & LED lit Top made out of a Koala's nose that has been ............

A Koala waiting patiently at the abattoir to be made into various products for Eeeeen's "Possums for Aviators" Shop

...........Possums for Aviators, with stories of how possums are great helpers around the hangars........

.......... and a special offer of a signed ASI Clock in the shape of a possum, facing away, with its ...........

....counter his one wing low flying habit.""Speaking of Wun Wing Lo", said Turbo, "I'm thrilled at today's news about possum coming on the the menus in restaurants. Anyone who has been to Stephano's in Mildura knows it's one of the world's best eateries, and if Stephano gives it his blessing, my proposed chain of Just Possum restaurants will be booming within three years."

 

"How much does.......................?"

.......... the possum supply support, by way of restaurants, as I know that Lord Byron has a chain of McPossums planned for the Dandenong region, while Ratty is going for the Michelin Stars end of the market in his "Playing Possum" exclusive dining joint on Wirradjury Hill (where his signature dish is fricasseed possum with an echidna jus), AhLox is catering to his Dame Edna, locksmiff and bondage proclivities through his "Cute Little Possum's Locks and Chains" stores, bull through his ever so subtle olde worlde store in Bone titled "Do yez feele like a bit of Possume on ya Forke .... eh?" and even the ever so conservative Eeeeeee had rebadged the ClearProp Shoppe as ...................