Captain

.......... "Geeeeeeeeeeeeez, that rings a bell" said Andy who had often thought of Turbo as ........... .

............. dithpicable.

Turbo, who had always seen himself as more of the below Minion type of a character, responded with a quick ....................

........he could see hair and tears streaming back, and the mouth of the pilot stretched wide in a rictus of excitement and he recognised................

.......... Rictus Erectus, who was now flying (Avref) a gyro that he bought from his pay for the Mad Max filming.

As can be seen from the below photo, Rictus Erectus has a 912 intake manifold (complete with K&N model 60123-912i air filters) strapped to his back and is a dual supercharger type of guy ....... as he despises turbos.

"Geeeeeeeeeeeeez, that rings a bell" said Andy who had often thought of Turbo as a ...........

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE NEW TO THIS FORUM, THAT IS ACTUALLY OUR FEARLESS LEADER, EEEEEN, IN HIS INITIAL ACTING ROLE AS RICTUS ERECTUS AND THAT IS THE LOOK HE GIVES YOU WHEN HE BANS YOU FOR A SHORT HOLIDAY.

............. particularly when they are flown (Avref) at blistering speed at worm-burner height.

"Watch this" said bull as he applied full power and spun his aircraft on a sixpence (they are still being produced new in f'n Q) and dived (BOBRef) along Conway Beach "We'll give the Australonuphis's (bull'sGenericCorrectnessRef) a heck of a shock and they won't stick their heads up for some poxy (AhLoxRef) fish skeleton again for weeks, however as bull reached full speed and his wheels kissed (MadgeRef - NTTIAWWT) the sand, a gyro flew under him and .............

clipped his wingspan on the stable roof ,Holy toledo cried Turbo as he came out of his drunken stuper"she flies 10 knots quicker now and..............

...... 10 feet lower while singing "Forty feet is a dead man's height, Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum! Drink and the stable roof (plus single [NTTIAWWT) wire earth return power lines [AvRef]) had done for the rest, Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum & coke."

But this song brought crys from the PC crowd (Avref) "What about the victims families and friends ..... Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of Bundy " they cried "And you can't acuse them of being at 40 ft under APE ENUF, CAO 95.101, 95.324 and 95.5569, when they may have been at 47 ft and been afflicted by a downburst which wasn't their fault - yo-ho-ho etc ............ and ......................

that they can be reduced in size to meet the new raaaa rules as depicted

...... and at this time of the year, with spring in the air and mating on their minds, they start their annual migration towards MidgeTown.

"Midge Point International traffic" said bull while just abeam Yalboroo "We are on cruise at 3000 into a 75 knot Noreaster, anticipating the circuit in September and we will be turning a left downwind for runway 05 right".

Following that call, all the other Par-are-sole pilots (plus a few other smart-are-soles) started to make approach calls to YMPI, from as far south as Sale in Victoristan, and it looked just like the migration of the Bogong Moths as the .............

........the engine."You'll never have a through bolt fail in this engine!" said Auction, who was a bit of an expert in this field and.......

..... also in a paddock, where Par-are-soles find ............

.......or the construction of some rag, wire, and tubers, such as.........................

...... the latest Par-are-sole where only galvanised chicken wire is used for ............

.............have been known to use it for.............

........... midge netting (see photo of the previous netting on bull's love-nest as below).

"It can also be used for photos (also see bull's self portrait below) and .............

...........other hair styles; we need to elevate (avref just in case planedrivel looks in) ourselves to the modern era and make sure our women look like they've been dragged backwards through a wire netting fence, like everyone else, because.......

.......... the use of wire netting to beautify the local womens has been a feature up bull's way ever since Flo kick-started her first Jumbo Jet (AvRef). The lasses even now wear it to their 1st communion and .............

"Imagine how fetching that would look if that white stuff was replaced by chook wire" said bull "It'd be the talk of the Midgeville Masonic & Orangeman's Lodge, that's for sure, and would be a fantasy that me and the boys would keep for those special times that a fantasy is needed."

"............they don't hear so good, so if you and your mormon mates [....content removed, subject to review by Moderators Panel], you can make an extra 30% per set, and also have...............

....... but Zeke cut Turbo off like an adult circumcision (NTTIAWWT) and said "That's one of the reasons that we wanted the 1500 deaf chicks, for their sets, and ..............

.......quietly sold the "Crazy Turbo" Headphone business to the Mormon Church, along with a possum breeding licence, and then.................

...... the deal struck its first hurdle when Brother Ezekiel knocked on Turbo's door and said "We'd like to leave you with this book and have you play with us." Then with Turbo on his knees (playing Tetrus), Zeke cut to the chase and said "Blessings unto you, oh Tink, but we thought that the 1500 chicks were being chucked in as part of the deal."

Ever the deal maker, Turbo thought through the perfect compromise and proposed "................

............"The ACCC are a pack of bastards" said Turbo who was struggling under a ban on his "Crazy Turbo" headsets.

"The 1,500 girls who complained about deafness had the volume up too high", he added "I told them if they kept doing it they'd go deaf"

 

But the ACCC wouldn't budge, the ban stayed in place...................

......... and Crazy P*ssed-Off Turbo was left with 5400 unpaid-for headsets at a factory owned by a chinese triad (run by Wang Sloplano), 2700 possums eating their heads off on death row, all housed in Turbo's mansion in St Kilda Rd where the neighbours are getting suspicious (note 2 headsets per possums) and 1500 ladies who couldn't hear too well but who all had the usual feminine needs and wiles.

Turbo was not used to being in this depth of doo-doo and he ..............

............his workshop to do something useful, like weld up another exhaust crack."Why do I have no friends?" he asked himself over and over again. "I only............"

......... took control of the Aussie Recreational Aviation scene a year or 2 ago, and as El Supremo, while I may fly a Light Wing (a heliview no less), I can be a heavy ............

FOR THE INFORMATION OF MEMBERS - SUBJECT - DEFECTIVE "CRAZY TURBO'S" BRAND HEADSETS - MODELS - ALL - .............. WARNING OF POSSIBLE HEARING LOSS - THESE ITEMS DO NOT SUPPRESS THE NOISE FROM 912 GEARBOXES OR BROKEN EXHAUSTS IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE RELEVANT OZZIE STANDARDS.

NOBU'S NOW PARTIALLY DEAF GIRLFRIEND (AFTER JUST ONE FLIGHT FROM MORABBIN TO MORDIALLOC) MODELLING A SET OF "CRAZY TURBO'S" BRAND POSSUM SKINNED HEADSETS. THESE ARE DISGUISED AS RABBIT FUR BECAUSE TURBO USES PROTECTED POSSUMS.

TURBO HIMSELF MODELLING HIS LATEST RANGE. AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, THIS LATEST DESIGN DEMONSTRATES THAT HE NOW PREFERS IT FROM THE REAR (NTTIAWWT).

....Avril and Denise from the Upper Cumbuckta West CWA (not to be confused with the Lower Cumbuckta West CFA) interpreted as an invitation to send all sorts of proposals (decent and indecent) to the Wreck Flying Board of Mismanagement to boost membership now that the Magnificent Quins (see post 10272) had been junctioned (NTTIAWWT).Madge immediately demanded a review of all the proposals offering to.......

.......... hit any other trouble makers with a flu injunction or to have a caveat put on their houses.

"I know that Madge looks a bit primordial but why would he want to eat in a cave while having a flu shot" asked Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, who was thinking of banning Madge Jaco (again) just because he could.

But Oliver Sudden QC OA VD & Scar, jumped to Madge's defence "I'm here to defend Madge" said Oliver "And as soon as I can think of one redeeming feature I'll let you know, eh".

With no real defenders, Madge was forced to break cover and scurried, rat-like, to ..............

BACKGROUND NOTICE - COURT INJUNCTION IN FORCE _________ BACKGROUND NOTICE - COURT INJUNCTION IN FORCE

I am sure that the many thousands of avid readers of the NES are wondering at the silence since post # 10271.

Investigator Rat is now able to divulge that Madge has taken out an injunction against Turbo, bull, Lord Bryon, Dazzler and the Rodent.

But brave & lovable Rat will not be intimidated when it comes to exposing Madge and his political aspirations in the NES. "Stuff Madge's injunction" said righteous Rat.

"I was just offering them complimentary flu shots" said Madge in an interview with the ABC's & Fairfax Press's combined investigation. "My lawyer (NTTIAWWT) is a bit deaf from flying (AvRef) with "Crazy Turbo's" brand cheap and nasty possum lined headsets, so what was supposed to be free injections turned out to be 3 injunctions (each) ............... but on the bright side, I'll be able to hit the Rodent up for damages and contempt of something or other."

The massive NES audience was stunned at this news and after Ratsack gave out Madge's home address and his silent mobile number on TwittBook, they all ..............

..........bugger all."You've been trained well Comrade" said Madge, who had also taken a vow of silence, and was to be seen these days mostly in prayer for ......

.......... , he is in the running to replace Bronny as Speaker ("Piece-a-p*ss" commented Madge in his best Speaker speak) ............. but he has been hiding the fact that he recently took a H160 Eurocopter from Anthill Plains to Toonpan (which doesn't sound too bad as the crow flies until you look at the Invoice and the chopper was flown up from Morwell to do this one job).

"I will not resign" said Madge "As I have so much to give to the Aussie working folk ..... and I have always believed in plenty of give and take".

"Mont Perrier sounds so much better that Termite Mound Plains, don't you reckon, eh?" asked bull, but the only response he received was ..............

MADGE TRYING OUT HIS SPEAKER'S SUIT BY THE ACTUAL CHOPPER THAT HE HIRED AND CHARGED TO THE CITIZENRY. "Why are the wheels so small and why are the blades bent?" he was then heard to ask.

.............. Andy of the very well known & occasionally well regarded Coffs Hat-Shatters clan, who had been missing for the NES for a while, piped up with a very meaningful contribution that said ..........

The family always keeps a seat in their corporate boxes at the football, soccer, and the Melbourne Cup for Turbo, who helped them out after that smash by grafting an old B727 front on, and the airliner now does steady work in West Africa.

The gold logo shown on the banged up plane was designed by Turbo, and is aboriginal for "place of plenty concrete", or it can mean..........

......... "All whitey boo'ers are racists", or "Don't ever take no white-fella chopper to Geelong, eh", however if you carefully consider the second declension of the 3rd participle you can see the more subtle meaning (subtlety always being a feature of the NES) which is ............

EXPLANATION

The Ette family were the original owners of EtteHad Airlines, before that accident shown below when the spelling was changed and it was an Ette design of the roof of the stadium which was also named that after them too.

They, like, Lord Byron, Tinky Winks & Eeeeeeen are part of the Melbournistan establishment.

....breeze."He's the ONLY one attending AUF Board Meetings" laughed Harriet who had a thing for Madge, and...

.......... had yet to disclose to Madge that the spelling is actually Harry Ette (of the well known Black Rock based flying Ette family), and the "thing" is .............

............ Madge, who not many know has been elected to represent Mount Perrier ,Schweppes and f'n f'nQ generally.

"I can do it in my spare time between AUF Board Meetings" was his election slogan "And I can get a chopper (AvRef) from Fish-Wick to that Parly-Mint joint whenever there is a division. It'll be a .............

........ I reckon PP should replace Bronny as Speaker ......... or as a minimum be inserted into Clive PalmJob.

Turbo hated politics being introduced into these NES educational posts (the texts of which have been approved by the UNHCR) and warned ..............

......Loxie has joined.............................

.......... but LoyalRat immediately jumped to his mate's defence.

"Loxy is not like that" he said with conviction & a wink "As we meet for coffee and cake every week without fail and he has never given any indication of "that" (Apart, perhaps, from taking on the Moderator's job and flying behind a 912), so I have to mount (NTTIAWWT) a strong defence of my best & closest friend."

Then Ratty changed the subject to advise all of our vitally interested readers that the sales of paspalum and prickly pear has gone thru the roof in Melbourne after the Moomba float won best in the "Ecological Awareness and Indigenous Sensitivity" section ...................... with Prickly Pear hedges becoming the new fashion statement in the silvertail belt between & including Brighton and Bang-it-Home.

"I feel so at one with the earth & our native animals" said one tosser who had just Round-Up'd his Sir Walter and was about to returf with paspalum, with a delivery of Prickly Pear & Paterson's Curse due on ............

THE NEW LOOK IN BRIGHTON. THERE IS A HOUSE IN THERE SOMEWHERE, TOGETHER WITH A COUPLE OF BROWN SNAKES.

NEXT SPRING IN SANDRINGHAM.

SAVING WATER ON THE ROADSIDE VERGES IN HALF MOON BAY.

.......shown the door."We have enough trouble with the real thing" said Turbo "without letting........................."

........ but he was cut off in mid sentence by his good mate Herm Aphrodite saying "Don't knock it if your haven't tried it, Tubb, After all, it must be OK because most of the Moderators are right into it. Why just last night I became aware that ..............