Captain

.......................his droppings were green for a month, which disconcerted the guests at Chez Ratso B&B to the extent that..............

..... he was flooded with bookings from the Greens (who are actually a little red) and the "Wildwife Fund for Nature" who offered to send him a cuddly toy of his favoured WildWife in return for a donation to save the ..............

..... for Ahlox, "dropping the anchor" is a euphemism for ........

......... income that Minnie brought in.

"I put her on a street corner in Moorabbin" said Ludwig "And she made enough to pay for the entire 350. She looked a treat in those big shoes."

"Who was her main customer in Moorabbin" asked Salty, cutting quickly to the chase.

"I know" replied Ludwig "As we had his credit card on speed dial. It was T.....................

.........."WE'RE ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE! and any more from you Mickey Mouse and we'll.............."

.......... give Pluto the ULP enema." (While all Pluto could think about was the mobile number of the dog-lover in Qld).

"Fair does" said Donald, who had just borrowed enough from his uncle Ludwig to put a hefty deposit down on a new King Air 350 that .......

.......... up spoke one of the pyromaniacs from the RFS who wore his best orange overyalls that were covered in merit badges and said "The RFS finds Tubb's comments very unhelpful when he puts it in the mind of the public that Elvis has a chance of gyrating while fire-bombing their joint." [Let alone his unacceptable suggestion to give Madge a 91 octane E10 enema] Moderator.

"Oh look, he can tie knots and he has a badge for fire lighting" observed Ahlow while he seethed as only NSW Fire Brigade members can do when looking at an RFS peacock "Why, he even has a ...............

"Maybe I should try some flea powder? " as he gnawed on his gnocci,"Or maybe I could wear a studded collar and ......."

"Stop right there." said the lady dog-fancier (for the 1st time ever). "I tried Madge and it turns out that my fido is a better lover, plus if I give him a Schmakko he will go again, whereas Madge just lies back smoking and thinking about his next flight in his Helliview."

"I know how to fix that" said Tink "All you have to do is ................

.......... I tried to crack onto Madge, but he just licked himself and scratched behind his ear. And as my old mum used to say, better the dog that you know than the one flying the Lightwing."

Madge put down the latest board papers, looked in the mirror and thought ..............

....Rucky gun of a son. Ever since you ricked that RSD rolly pop you have been a bit qleer (NTTIAWWT) and behaving rike a........

...... a yuppie trike tyke (A 29 year old 2 axis selfie taker with a double or triple barrel name).

[The spell checker suggested "Trike Dyke" (NTTIAWWT) although I have no real interest in dutch levees].

"This trike is really cool, pal" he said while clicking away and immediately posting the new selfie on FacePlant, looking at his specially shaped & coloured 5 o'clock shadow, touching himself while drinking an imported chardy, flashing his fake Merc keys and having his teeth whitened for the 3rd time "And I .................

...... curry available from Harry's Fast Food Emporium & BOB.

"That would be Hally's Hully Cully" said Acki as he prepared the Zero for departure on 23 right. "Cocko's away" he yelled to his support team.

"Why-a you tell-a me to go-a away?" asked Salvatori.

"Oh, so solly Sal, but it is Vital" replied Acki making use of his Cowra learnt effervescent Ozzie humour "You are a ..............

.........Hurry Curry make fan necessary, and..............

...... with that reference to a "fan" (AvRef) the NES returned to an in-depth & factual aviation discussion about the latest ..........

........... dinner that was eaten quickly.

"Ah" said Acki "That must have been a hurry curry. The Empelor made us plomise to comit that during the rast war, but I hate that Indian tucker, however we just had to eat that with a smile on our dial when .....

......Motz's UAVs, and intruders at the annual BNS, where....

.......... the BNS'ers have often been seen wearing nickers like those on their heads (generally similar to what happens at a public meeting at Coffs Council).

"I hasten to add that the 12 gauge Duck Repellent was environmentally friendly and I will start a thread immediately titled "WHY THE SKIPPIES INVENTED SOLAR POWER AND THEN WENT BACK TO LEAD SHOT".

"We used to wear cottontails on our heads in the army when going into combat" said Sgt Salty "And they were camouflage cottontails too, or at least I THINK that was what those marks were on them, but on 2nd thought, perhaps that was .................

Below is Sgt Salty modelling camouflage undies .................

.............it will never go anywhere because everyone on this forum will tell you that journalists never write the truth, especially the Murder Press, who every day start a war, and pinch women's undies off clothes lines, and.......

...... other such stuff that goes on in Coffs.

"It wasn't me" said Andy as he stuck 2 sets of cottontails down his jeans as DBP (Duck Bite Protection), but after I use 'em I always ..............

...Wobbert.....and Steve.........and.......

..... there we have it, Dear Reader, ............ HEADLINE ........... Turbo admits affair with Steve (who we have all known for years under the pen-name of AhLox).

The twisted headlines in the Aviation Press will be something like "WRECK FLYING MODERATOR INVOLVED IN TORID AFFAIR WITH THE MOORABBIN MAULER" , or the subtitle "WHO WILL END UP WITH THE 'VETTE WHEN THE PROPERTY SETTLEMENT IS FINALISED".

"I have a camel that wishes to give evidence" interjected Achhhhhhhkmal.

"And I have something to contribute to that" said Andy to Brine (who had spent a considerable amount of time alone with Tubb at a few previous AGM's) "And that is that .............

....... WODGER and ............

......the rest of the Rat Pack who spent most nights at the BOB, ..........

....... except for Turbo who prefers BRUCE (NTTIAWWT), and ...............

"What's wrong with the Trilander! bristled Odoo, particularly compared to that horrible thing you built, which had more bog in it that the Dartmoor Moor, and no only that but............."

........... Odoo (and his alter-ego, TurdBoy) didn't just concentrate their venom on the NES's beloved Ratsack, but also turned vicious towards the ever-so-cute Andy and the very attractive Salty, not to mention the sometimes OK look'n AhLox, the very fetching bull-with-a-boner and ..................

As an aside,

Turdboy wrote ........... to that Great Visionary, Gough Whitlam, outlining their skills at aircraft identification, and he immediately brought them into the country as refugees, putting them up at the Canberra Rex ............. where they designed the Trilander.

Now ........ prey continue.

Andys@coffs' date=' post: 486955, member: 94[/email']] ....... Rat, who owning the Rathaus, was not averse to having CASA dudes, and their govmint credit cards pay him for a visit was known to regularly ring the knobber dobber line and report that he had seen loxy playing with VH's things on.......

........ stage on a Saturday night.

"Quit that will you AhPox" said Victor Hugo (VH) "And to Andy I say that those CASA guys aren't "dudes" as you suggested. You heard it wrong, as they are actually doodoos, who .............

......... opened the window of my office in Can'tberra and yelled "BOOO", at which time half of the Skippy aviation industry went number two's involuntarily. Geez it was a hoot. Aren't I powerful, eh?"

"Those dudes are worse than ISIS" said Achhhhhhhkmal ....... in an attempt to bring balance to the debate "And I know for a fact that ............

"they don't fly under 500 feet unless there's a caravan park below, because......."

...... the camels are always skittish when they are likely to be hit by the head of a thru-bolt or a piece of exhaust from a 'Tax.

"Yes, wrack off you Wreck-Flying Infidel" said Achhhhhhkmal as he attempted to settle down his camels while also trying to write down the rego number in sandscrit.

"Steady Prancer, take it easy Dancer, and stay quiet there Rudolph" he said.

"Those are reindeer names, aren't they?" asked Andy, who had little understanding of middle eastern culture.

"Bullsh*t mate" replied Achhhhhhhhhkkkmal "Do you'ze Skippies think you are the only ones with a tradition of gift giving, maaate? We are the world's most friendly and gift-endowed culture and these camels are conscripted annually to pull a broken down '72 HiLux full of AK23.5's for the kiddies (full sized AK47's are too big for the toddlers), and a few .................

".....Ramp check you."For some reason Andy's thought turned to a red hot branding iron, still smoking from the...................

..... its use at the last CASA office party.

"We legitimately use it as part of our induction training to demonstrate to new employees what it feels like to Wreck Flying members when we move in on the RAA and shut them down. We just get the iron white hot & touch it on our recruits for 10 seconds in an area of soft skin that will usually be covered. It is well accepted and becomes a badge of honour for them. The branding iron says "We are from CASA and we are here to help you have a more enjoyable flying experience" in 2" high roman script, which is pretty funny, yet ironic, don't you think?" said the CASA PR person. "The worthwhile recruits love it and if any of them immediately expose the other cheek we make them a Section Head straight away. But, of course, as often happens in government departments, someone goes too far once they have had a PIMS and the iron then gets used by some office comedian wags during our office parties to ..................

Andys@coffs' date=' post: 486486, member: 94[/email']] Rat nodded sagely before suggesting "So bit like blood from a stone then.....or pushing sh!t uphill..... or getting the truth from the Major MAJOR or getting CASA to...."

...... be pragmatic.

"Bugger being pragmatic" was the response from the CASA spin doctor "We have an empire to build and then push uphill."

"We know where you live Andy." added another CASA heavy "So behave and remove that last post or we'll come to Coffs and .................

....... runway at the biennial Narromine Fashion Extravaganza & Airshow (which is bigger than Avalon) where AhLox and the rest of the WreckFlying Magnificent Moderatti do some of their finest work.

Below are all of our beloved Moderatti Magnificenti Splendifferoci strutting their stuff on the main runway at the Narromine Rissole, all looking a tad smug just after giving Oscar another holiday, with Ahlox at centre (where-else) and Eeeeen at left (he is the one with the gold on his jacket funded from all of the Premium Memberships).

Note the 2 CASA dudes at rear left and right in their CASA Inspector's uniforms, having just rump checked a few of the male models.

This event was held just after the Narromine ...........

.......... leafs, including the fine tuning of the transvers leaf-spring Corvette rear suspensions and other leafy matters, like why is Ahlox a tealeaf, & why can't Nanna ever leaf it alone for more than 2 hours, however 3 hours after vespers Salty got the vapours as he always does after a bottle of red, so he rolled onto one cheek and .............

...... applied full power which pressed him back into the seat and slightly blurred his vision, but instinctively he then left barrel rolled the Thruster down the centreline of the runway, before ...........