Captain

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The next morning whe ge got up at the Motel he laid the sash out to admire it: The Sash read: "Miss Swan Hill"]

And Turbo has continued on in Tania Verstak mode ever since.

But it was Tania, not Turbo, who featured in many a young boys early dreams.

IS THAT TANIA ................... OR TURBO? (NTTIAWWT) with his Miss Swan Hill

sash reversed and Straya written on in texta?

A well known forum member about to type his response.

40 minutes ago, Captain said:

........ Planey & Eeeeeen competed at the audition for the part of Maria NTTIAWWT, which made Turbo ......

...... uncomfortable (NTTIAWWTE) because he liked Eeeeeeean a lot, even though a previous ban or 2 had clipped Tubb's wings (avref) & eroded his normally cocky & obnoxious (Turboref) self-confidence for a while, however to have to ........

NOTE - The Skipper (not Shipper as the bloody edit time limit failed to allow The Shipper to correct in an above post), has had to post to himself after all of the other NESers had buggered off for Xmas/New Year or were hiding from the new strains of WA strain of Covid which can be transmitted through close forum contact & exposure to 5G (avref).

And where the F is bull?

THINK FORUM SAFETY. WEAR A MASK WHEN YOU TYPE.

On 28/12/2020 at 8:59 AM, Captain said:

The casting of NESS was interesting, particularly after ......

........ Planey & Eeeeeen competed at the audition for the part of Maria NTTIAWWT, which made Turbo ......

...... they needed to stick by their leader (Brine) so that they would qualify for the royalties from the musical that Brine has written.

It is the very raunchy story of the gangs of Remnark and they great dispute about who sits in what booths at the Parthenon Milk Bar (the PMB) & their illicit activities on the Murray.

Brine has cleverly titled it "Northeast Side Story" (C) with an alternative title of "Mallee Meanderings with Mavis" & the latter is suitable for performing in Nursing Homes (with appropriate social dstancing so that the old codgers dont get the deaded C).

The casting of NESS was interesting, particularly after ......

SALTY AND MAVIS GOING FOR AND GETTING TONGUE TIED.

THEY EVENTUALLY WENT ALL THE WAY ... A REMNARK SCANDAL.

SALTY PINCHED THE IDEA FROM WEST SIDE STORY.

HERE, FROM THE ORIGINAL PRODUCTION IN 1955, ARE TURBS

AT LEFT, THE SHIPPER AT CENTRE AND A RARE PIC OF ONESIE

AT RIGHT (bull HAD BEEN KILLED OF IN SCENE 2)

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Salty, who usually avoided the Renmark gossip circles but .....

...... had a fearsome, yet loathsome reputation down along the Remnark waterfront where men are .......

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

 

"Haaahaaaahaaaaa!", chortled Onetrack. "Good one, Jerome! Bit of a shame it wasn't dark, and I could've introduced you as Sandra - and Cappy wouldn't have known a thing, until the lights went back on, and he saw....

....... , NTTIAWWT (NESequalopportunityref), that Jerome was actually a pretty good sort and a previous consort of ........

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....an unhappy customer, Cappy.

"I watched the TV ads, and I didn't get what I wanted; all they did was call me on board, and show me the way out at the destination"

Onetrack ....

...... , ever the professional, offered to provide the unprovided service on the spot.

"Customer satisfaction is our imperative" he said.

"Erky perky" replied the Skipper as he looked at Onesie's sand blasted face, beetlenut stained teeth, pierced tongue and his hideous .......

...... thrust (avref & doubleentendreref).

Turbo called the Captain, as he does a few times each week. "Did you see Onesie's reference to "green"?" he asked with a giggle "The last time I visited WA everything was that crappy ochre colour and there was nothing but sand. OMG the sand got everywhere" he added with his usual overstatement "WA natives like Onesie (The NES pays its respects to elders past & present) have never seen green, unless it relates to their envy for 1st world cities like Melbournistan".

Onesie's response was savage when he heard what TinkyWank had said and he ......

...... that Onesie had registered the name through his "OneRoot's Business Rego Joint" which dominates the market in WA (and therefore has nothing to do with the rest of the country, but a very efficient kickback system to the WA Labor Party).

"It's nothing sinister" said Onesie in a prepared statement to the Fin Review. "I just thought it was worthwhile, and rather poignant, to have the "Hard Root" moniker owned by the OneRoot BRJ, with connotations that .......

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........CRM managed where his priority job was to appease upset customers with the runs, and that's not easy because .........

...... when customers have the runs due to crook quandongs, it's a slippery ......

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........tobacco and mint with an aftertaste of ......

..... bush tucka, particularly quandong (Aceratium concinnumref & camelsinOZref) tarts, where bull had formed a JV with Turbine Pastry Inc and the Central Australian Quandong Conglomerate Inc (the CAQCI) where he was appointed as a ...........

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......covered in sand and camel dung.

OT chewed on a date. Cappy had seen him go down so reached down, picked one up and bit hard but it was camel dung.......

..... which is much underappreciated in non bomb-chucker countries for its nutritional value and the delicate taste of ....

1 hour ago, Captain said:

.......... the tune of Led Zeppelin's ...............

..... (avref) & (fireref) .........

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........one of the local roughies, they rode together to .......

.......... the tune of Led Zeppelin's ...............

On 23/12/2020 at 11:37 AM, Captain said:

......... as everyone, even Stanley out there in the FNQ mulga, knows what little arseh0les Shetland ponies and Turbine progeny can be when they are .........

...... hyped up on molasses for Sh!thead the Shetland, green cordial for little Lucas (Turbineref), the AUF version of Flying Australia (avref), a MAN magazine, some sherbet lemons and ....... 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Stanley lost interest ..................

......... as everyone, even Stanley out there in the FNQ mulga, knows what little arseh0les Shetland ponies and Turbine progeny can be when they are .........

...... was stunned to experience 4 Gs (avref), as Stanley (also known to the rodeo crowds as OnePill)........

23 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....his tail [avref].

bull had never been a Ringer, but he'd been to the Rodeos all over Queensland, mainly for the flat beer, and he knew a bell would go off in a few seconds, so he dug his heels in and skidded along behind the now tiring bull. Somewhere out near Stanley's Nut ...........

......., and there is no doubt, dear Reader, that Stanley is indeed an unusual name for a Brahman (and also that Stanley only had one), so bull needed to be careful (avref) that he .......

........ else needs to be done to catch the sample, besides bull using his .........

3 hours ago, bull said:

Well after the ringers settled the bovine down they gathered for a meeting with the king Cappy and the ceo[turdo] of turbine bovine engineering and Onesie it was decided that the directors of Victa,s new bovine committee would............... 

......... collect the bull's semen sample directly, using the traditional method, which Turdo felt was a bit of a  ...........

15 hours ago, onetrack said:

Dear NES readers - It is now obvious, that since the event that shrank the Giant Jedi Rat - his brain shrank as well, along with the  shrinkage deal - as evidenced by his total loss of the NES plot.

Dear NES readers, if you could please see your way clear, to make a contribution to the re-sizing of the poor Jedi Rat, so he can think properly again, without becoming muddled, it will be gratefully appreciated ....

Is it OK to post again now, Nurse?

Have the visitors been and has one of them taken my grapes?

Oooooops ...... Cappy has lost the plot so is out of sync again.

On 19/12/2020 at 12:46 PM, onetrack said:

But the Fijians insisted that the aircraft had to run on ethanol (to support their sugar industry) and be fabric-clad (to support the Fijian garment industry). Tuvalu insisted that a design needing serious amounts of ballast was needed (to support their sinker industry). Tasmania demanded that only Huon pine was to be used in the frames of the fuselage and wings. But when Turbo (as Chairman) insisted that...

..... Queensland be given some input, there was considerable disquiet.

"Why would we want some palm fronds, a few unsold peanuts and a manki old mudcrab shell?" asked .......

7 hours ago, onetrack said:

Investigations are proceeding at the normal snail-like speed of the bureaucracy, and at this stage it can be revealed that.....

.......... while the availabull data may not be 100% reliabull, the investigators are comfortabull that it is reasonabull to assume that .............