Captain

....... with a gestic that indicated that he should get his gun out.

Starlight was embarrassed ................................... at first ..................................... then decided that she was worth it and even if his was just a .22 (a sad trait of the Turkish Turbine family, which makes you wonder how there are so many of them), so he proceeded to ...........

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

the Captain yelled over his shoulder "I'd rather take on the Turks!", but a Turkish......

.......... lady from their equivalent of the Dardanelles Rissole & Bowling Club called out "Hey, big boy" (she actually called "Hey büyük boHey büyük çocuk" with a rather saucy lilt), to which Starlight responded with a jaunty ...........

THIS IS THE VERY LADY THAT CALLED TO STARLIGHT. (You can

see the satisfied smirk and the other aftereffects of their liaison).

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......the The Turkish White Wolf that focused on doomed soldiers and airman with............

.......... the intensity of a CWA member who had been without a spouse for a couple of years.

"Wow, that's dangerous" said Starlight "But I reckon that a Turkish White Wolf (a TWW) would be harder to manage".

"Don't you believe it" said Mable who had spent 5 dry years after Turbo found an alternative to his regular visits "As when we CWA ladies hunt as a pack, we are more organized and ..............

........ entrances & exits, which focussed his .........

52 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

but the petrol from the SE5 ...............

........... was exhausted as he, like most Wreck Flyers & AUF members, had failed to leave enough reserve (he was 145 kgs overweight as well, even after dumping his bomb racks) and had not designated any alternates (except for an emergency plan to landing bugger all distance away down below him on the beach at Gallipoli).

Sandy was cheered by the rest of the AUF members who thought that designating an alternate is for wooses, but that didn't help him when ........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The ditch was flowing like a river with ...................

........... large bubbles glooping to the surface and small white creatures could be seen to be squirming along the edges.

Starlight recognized the putrid mess from the time that he lived in in Mextoria and he was very wary of the ......... 

........ that the Human Factors lectures warn you .......

SIDE NOTE - EEEEEN JUST CALLED ME TO SEE IF WE SHOULD BE CONCERENED AT TURBO'S FIXATION ON "MAIN JETS" AND WHETHER HE SHOULD BE BANNED FOR REFERRING TO THIS ALL THE TIME.

I AM TURBO'S BEST FRIEND, BUT I DID SAY TO EEEEEEEN THAT I DO BELIEVE THAT TUBB'S CONSTANT AND SOMEWHAT TIRESOME "MAIN JET" REFERENCE IS UNHEALTHY AND CARNAL,  SO IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I WOULD BE CONSIDERING A BAN.

WHAT IS THE VIEW OF OUR MANY THOUSANDS OF NER'ERS?

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

but 3/32 didn't know that and .............

.......... just assumed that Starlight was a typical Wreck Flying member and was therefore ...........

PS - "Kamal was a lovely boy who was always well behaved and he had great promise. He never appeared to me to be a bomb-chucker like some of the more radical nippers" ... a quote from Kamal Ataturk's Kindy teacher in 1921, at Moorabbin state school ......... Then she added "And some of the cruel boys (TinkyWink was one of those) nicknamed him Camel and Turbs even called him a "Camel Toe" at times, when the irony was that Turbs was actually one of those himself).

........ which would normally be decided over a cup of tea and a dog biscuit, but it was hard to light a fire in the airship and the 3/32master would have had conniptions sweeping the little burnt sticks out on our hero's return (which was hoped for but not expected by his lineup of lady friends).

He thought it all through, smiled knowingly, and just for fun he again scratched his ........

........ which would normally be decided over a cup of tea and a dog biscuit, but it was hard to light a fire in the airship and the 3/32master would have had conniptions sweeping the little burnt sticks out on our hero's return (which was hoped for but not expected.

He thought it all through, smiled knowingly, and just for fun he again scratched his ........

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

But Attaturk just smiled and said ".................

........ "Up yours you Aussie wanker". (Few know that Kamal grew up around the slums of Moorabbin and was jibed by all his Skippy mates who always called him Camel).

(A direct quote from Kamal Attaturk's Diary, page 29 paragraph 6)

The pilot just smiled in that dashing Sean Connery sort of way (Tink has a striking resemblance to Sean Connery ............... in the hours before he passed away) so he inverted (avref) a finger and waved down at ........

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......shoe polisher, because of the ...........

....... way that he regularly polished his ......

........ Starlight had to spend the next 20 years fighting off those very same schoolgirls once they were 21 and wanted him as their ........

......... quirkiness of the situation as he was supposed to release the bombs and retain the bomb racks.

"Oh poop", he thought as he pictured the squadron quartermaster (this bloke was a bit of a dill and had established himself firmly as only being a 3/32master) going berserk. "Who jettisoned their bomb racks again, you clot, la-de-da pilot Starlight (using his best impersonation of the Sgt Major Williams in It Ain't Half Hot Mum)" he would say "And who has been scratching stuff on both sides of the cockpit of my lovely airplane (avref)?"

Starlight quivered at the thought of the 3/32master's derision, so he reached down again, got them out, and scratched his .............

He doesn't like la-de-dah Turbo Plonker, the Corvette driver, either, and who can blame him.

...... tried to evaluate what a platoon of Kiwis was worth.

Then he remembered the old joke .... Q If a Kiwi and a Cook Islander both jump of the Sydney Harbour Bridge at the same time, which one will hit the water first?

A Who cares?

So he decided to just adjust his enging (turbopostref) and again scratch his .........

........ a difficult trip as he had kept the fuel load down to aid the takeoff (crash(avref)-hot(exhaustref)avref), plus they had no premium unleaded on the Sub so the (early version of a Rotax) engine was pinging like a bastard (turboref) as he struggled to get into the air.

And THAT was just the start, because those Cunning Nationalistic Turks (CNT's) (we are lucky that they were not Cunning United Nationalistic Turks) started to plink away at Starlight as he rounded the corner from the Dardanelles into a 30 knot headwind (isn't it always?), which forced him to consider his predicament and scratch his ........... 

........... photos of Michelle Obama and Rosie O'Donnell, which was just too much for me, so I was out of control and what happened was purely ........

........... Ahlox hiding there in the back seat, with a jar of .........

11 hours ago, bull said:

............Sorrry if i have offended you cappy,,not offence meant,,but it is a fun forum using all of your wit and knowledge,sorry mate,,cryed out Bull ,itas all in jest,

........ "No wuckers bull" said the Skipper.

"I was not game to respond to your photo of the upside down blonde lady for fear of being banned" he added "And I note that the others have not replied either, so perhaps they are the ones who are offended?"

Turbo and Onesie had been corresponding with Heidi on WhatsApp (the nature of their discussion demanded the encryption) and had decided ..............

............

........ paprika, saffron, turmeric, yams and .........

...... crack (warrior-woman-in-the-photoref) at .......

........... a sad old wreck flyer with his hand on ..........

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy thought about this as he approached the canopy and ..........

........... wondered what he would find.

Would it be ..............