Captain

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........respect elders past and present and it was on since the Afghans fancied themselves as First Australians (not to be confused with the First Nations bunch from Canada, Washington and Oregon). "We was ere first Bro" said Mustapha pointing to the beautiful flag made by a NCN machine, and ............

....... a shipload of camels (shipsofthedesertref) with signs on them saying "I was left here by Mustapha's great grandfather", ..... with all signs duplicated in New Arabic script & laminated. (There was also a copyright label in the bottom right corner from "Turbine's Halal Printers 2020" ..... which made everyone just a little suspicious that the signs may not have been contemporaneous with Mustapha's stated great relo).

"I hear that Mustapha's great grandfather wasn't so great" commented bull, who was also from Afghan stock (the FNQ branch of the family) but bull had grown up in the free love & liberal environment of bone, where nobody had had their hands chopped off for stealing lollies, since about 1972, and bull hadn't worn a burqua since he lost his virginity in 1981.

bull loved the Afghan traditions of fighting everyone and not letting girls go to school, so he ........

ALL NESERS SHOULD PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT THIS POST MAY CONTAIN IMAGES AND HUMOUR (SIC &/OR SICK) INVOLVING PERSONS WHO MAY HAVE DIED AND WE ALSO MAY NOT HAVE ADEQUATELY RESPECTED OLD PHARTS PAST AND PRESENT (Except Eeeeean, of course, who we all respect).

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........ going into action with Cappy because he always takes Point and never fails to throw them a few good shots.

"Because there were only 50" said Cappy modestly, and it was all over in a few minutes except for one old.............."

....... bloke, who looked like a cross between Osama BL, Turbo and Brine (viz, a salty old dude), who gave the Skipper a thumbs up and they parted with mutual battlefield respect.

Once the hostilities are over, Cappy intends to sponsor that old codger to migrate to Moorabbistan to run the Mosque and to be head teacher at the Madrasa that is next door (as leased to them by Turbine Real Estate). In that way Ratty hopes to ............

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"......was in China and we built an airport [avref]?"

"What date was that?" asked Mavis warily

"It was a Tuesday" replied Cappy in his usual evasive manner "and we had just ................."

 

 

.......... airlifted a bunch of Navy Seals out of an ambush in the Bekaa Valley. That wasn't a particularly difficult mission as there were only about 50 Taliban surrounding the landing area (importantavref), but I was in less danger there than I was last night from a number of lovely but aggressive ladies at the BBQ party down on the creek, where a mix of rum, vodka and gin Jelly Shots were consumed amongst a few bottles of Pikes Shiraz, a heap of assorted mixers and the odd wacky tobaccy rollies."

"Why didn't you call us for an invite?" asked Tubb and bull who just love .........

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[Explanation for short term (8 years or less) NES readers: every now and then, old Ratso gets beaten so many times in a row, that he has a hissy fit. These don't last long becaise Turbo takes him out and tells him stories of the behind the scenes editing activity that had to take place in the early days of the NES; thing like what happened to Turbo in the Piliga Scrub, and how Ahlox became a fireman. The tetars start as he pines for those good old days when people gave him likes for his wit, pitiful though it was, and he dreams again of those great times.]

The Jedi Rattso does indeed recall those great times as he tetars on the the edge of tears, and he does express his appreciation to his great mate Turbs for helping him through this difficult time.

Now Ratty is about to click on "Submit Reply" and expects to be oppressed by onetrack again.

Postscript - The uni-root has not posted over the top of the Skipper's tome, thank goodness, so onesie must be cleaning all of the WA the red dust and sand out of his pool again today.

#rattysurrenders #turbostuffsevinrudes #bullbuggerskeyboards #Saltypostsseldom #Eeeeeeeanisagoodbloke #allmoderatorsare?

#onetracklied #rattywon 

Geeeeez Louise ..... onetrack has gazzumped Ratty again.

....... which was the internally lighted insignia about to be lifted by Skycrane (avref) to the top of the Turbine Industries tower in Collins St.

"What did Collin ever do to have a street named after him" thought bull eviously "and why can't i have bull's st? After all, I have ........"

....... the rotund ......

2 hours ago, Captain said:

........ J. C Williams purchase was just a ...........

..... a slip of the cheque book. ("What is a cheque book?" asked all the members of Wreck Flying who are under 30.)

"Yes" said the Twigster "I just went out to buy myself a longhorn sticker & a big fiberglass aerial for the Bentleigh and now I own the company ..... plus the J C Williamsons theatre production joint too, so bugger me this is a lot harder than raking in Iron Ore cash eh Turbo?"

And as a result of the above conversation Turbo started to give Twiggy a lecture on juris-prudence and how to buy various companies, just like he lectures the members on Wreck Flying on all subjects.

"Who is Prudence?" asked bull who was always on the lookout for ........... 

3 minutes ago, bull said:

supply problem.   Now Twiggy is not the sharpest pencil in the case,and the imperialistic motivation of the CCP was lost on him ,[as he still was getting over that quad bike he brought new for 20 bucks from the chinese]So the ..........

........ J. C Williams purchase was just a ...........

Ratty & Onesie have arrived at the same time, which is what Jessica and the Park Receptionist have always craved.

Not bad when Onesie is in Isolation so far over there towards South Africa, in his State that is being run by the WA equivalent of the SWAPO.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

However, as we know, Cappy could be uncouth and very basic in mixed company, and Salty wasn't sure it would be safe if Cappy came out with the usual ..................

................ "Do ya?" to all the ladies in Woolies and in Remnark's main street.

This offended Salty, who was a thorough gentleman and he asked "Why do you do that, as you must get a lot of rejections?"

"That's correct Brine, old mate." was Cappy's reply as he put his giant muscular arm around Salty's shoulders "But every now and then one replies in the positive, and those odds aren't too bad when you look like me."

Cappy took out his 1990's Blackberry to call Tink on his I12 and ......

........ money that he owed to the receptionist, who adores flyboys (and flygirls NTTIAFWWT) and who offers services that are additional to just charging for a powered drive-thru site.

"Do you have Turbo's mobile number?" she asked "As he has been here and availed himself of a couple of my Special Deals before he flew off again into the wild-blue-yonder (avref)".

The Receptionist and Jessica were both ignoring The Twig, (who they consider to be lacking in substance when compared with Turbs, plus he is a bit too showy for a ranga) and they were pining for Turdboy ........ so Salty, ever the gentleman & Kombi driver, could see that it was very apparent that ..........

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

to let OT make his inevitable OneLine move, or even put a call through to Salty who was always good for a .................

.......... quickie down on the banks of the dam (Salty constantly carries a 1960's vintage Struggle Rug in the baggage compartment of his .......

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.............hair to get the lice out. I usually do that on a Sunday but I know you City boys like a ................

..... country .....

28 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......on his back with his legs extended, so his stomach was upwards, jammed his head under her left armpit, and reached for the shearing handpiece with her right hand. 

 

At that point, Cappy kicked and thrust so much, he managed to break free of Jessica's grip, and rolled away, and jumped to his feet.

 

"How dare you treat a senior mustering pilot in that ruthless, undignified, manhandling fashion?", Cappy cried indignantly.

 

"Geez, Louise!" said Jessica, "Can't ya take a joke? I do that to every new chum that rolls up here!! Haa!-Haa!-Haaaahh!!", Jessica chortled in her near-baritone voice.

 

Cappy dusted himself off, and shook off the few dags that still clung to him, and said.........

.......... "How much per pound will you get for those pubes?"

"We sell them to China to make fake beards and get good dough" was Jessica's reply "But now that I see you all shaved down (avref) below (avref), you look even more attractive than before, so are cheese, bickies, Shardy & a few rolly type durries still on, down at the dam? If so I'll have a quick shower & wash my ..........

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.................grabbed Cappy's arm. What Cappy didn't know is that Twiggy's corporate multi-skilling policy meant that Jessica also had to take a place at the board; the shearing board that is, and had already shorn 7,000 sheep. She was fit and ready to go and Cappy was the unwitting victim. She grabbed him by the nose, jabbed  a knee into his shoulder and expertly flipped him ................

.......... onto his side, turned his head with her knee and commenced the shearing process (with a wide comb no-less).

"Are you sure that you are supposed to start down there?' asked the Skipper with an air of delight at the starting point, but alarm as the shears clicked on "And shouldn't you at least take me out to dinner before you start to do ..........

APOLOGIES TO THE UNIROOT, AS MINE WAS DRAFTED AT THE SAME TIME THEN HELD UP WHILE THE INTERWEB CAME BACK ON. WILL NOW RESPOND TO THE ONEROUTE'S POST.

PS. Always being totally aware and professional, as he always is when flying his R66, as he landed the 22, Cappy knew that he also had the problem of missing Twiggy's Bentleigh, as was correctly identified a few posts ago by Turbs, as the Bentleighs are so much more expensive than a normal, common and garden Bentley.

22 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

levelled out in time after he let go of the stick and pulled up the collective with his other hand, level now but a small problem appears. just as well he let go of the collective as a result of the g forces because the poor robby is now inverted----

......... which triggered loud cheering from the roustabouts & stockmen, who sat back with their Billy teas & iced vovos and loved the impromptu airshow ("He's even got his own smoke generator, eh" said one of the Stockmen [as the 22 had bit of a ring and valve guide issue]) ......... but it all particularly impressed a voluptuous young governess named Jessica, who always had a thing for flyboys (don't they all?) and had given Cappy that look (don't they all?) when he sidled past the station house in his tight jeans, on his way over to the chopper.

The Skipper knew that he had to get the chopper right-way-up (avref) pretty quickly, as The Twigster had passed out and Ratty had a date with Jessica for drinkies down by the dam that very evening. Cappy yanked on the collective, tugged on the cyclic and thrust on the stick, all in a totally coordinated (avref) manner so that the 22 righted and landed perfectly to allow the Skipper to step out and accept the applause just like Matt Hall (avref) at a MaroonBull aerial display.

Jessica goo'd, plus a few other things, and ..................

.......... fiddle with the controls.

"I've got it Twiggy, old Mate, so have no fear, Ratty is here" said the Skipper "But what is this "collective" thingy & is it the same as the "cyclic" do-dad, what is "rotor torque" all about, are you insured, has this Robbo had the fuel bladder AD completed by a suitable LAME duck, and how do we .........

4 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"We-ell", said Cappy, rather unsure of what was the best part, of what the station owner had just said - the flying skills praise, or the job offer - and he took a few seconds to compose himself, before he said......."

........ "No worries mate, as I'm a wizz in a Robo 66 (avref) plus I can fly a Caravan (avref) and have a KE that will serve us well when ........

40 minutes ago, bull said:

[ overweight ,,over 50 ]

DEAR MODERATOR 22,

Cc Ms. Nicola Gobbo - SC

As discussed in my recent phonecall, I write to express my disgust at this post remaining in public view.

I will concede that I may occasionally be 1 or 2 kgs over my usual 80 kgs fighting weight, but to say that I, and by inference my closest lifelong mate Turbo, are over 50 is an outrageous slur that cannot be permitted to continue.

Regards Ratty

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

That's always when I get this tight feeling around my.......

....... empennage ...... and also around my .......

27 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

______it became obvious that the AD only applied to low speed Driftyers below 150 knots high speed installations had better cooling due to ram air and so keeping above 250 knots { below 10000ft} all was now ok_____

APOLOGIES TO THE CT9000, WHO'S POST WAS HIDING, RATHER UNLOVED, OVER ON THE NEXT PAGE.

THE RAT FEELS REMORSEFUL ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY JUMPING THE QUE.