Captain

11 hours ago, bull said:

was also overcome with arousal and a zip could be heard slowly being undone as she moved in real close to the chairman,,,,,Hmmm said he this is..........

......... "better than doing a few circuits on a high cross-wind day".

Everyone knows what crossed controls can do to a lad's or lassie's libido and with the talk of crosswind landings, the zip came under considerable pressure from within and .........

AN ASIDE ......... Welcome back bull.

For the past fortnight I have been holding onto a message for you from Xi/Zi. He wants you to call him and asks "Where are the taters?" (土豆呢?). Please call his private number when you have a chance. (请拨打他的私人号码， 当你可以.)

Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier Planner

looks very similar to a popular member

of this forum & has the same hairdo.

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

As a Neil Diamond fan, she was suddenly both excited and overwhelmed by the memory of Hot August Nights with her lovers, and memories of Neil Diamond concerts, where she got her........

.......... gig Moderating Wreck Flying, the premier aviation website worldwide, with the most proficient and elegant group of Forum Members ever seen since  Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier (or Jimmy to his mates) went for his pilot's licence and his vital CAE in 1783.

Moderator 6 was subsequently well known within WF and elsewhere as a Neil Diamond groupie and she subsequently used "Red Red Wine" as an example of Aussie Bottle-to-Throttle limits, "I think it's going to rain today" for her "Get-home-itis" human fuctors lecture, "Girl You'll be a Woman Soon" for her Sexual Harassment OH&S lectures and "Cherry Cherry" for the time that Salty took her ............ 

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...........start crapping on Cappy, the Trump of the NES, and this would provoke a reaction which would distract everyone from the main NES storyline which was..................

............ all part of Cappy's plan to pick up a good little earner from his "Make AUF Great Again" caps and other lines of merchandise.

And just like that, the very catchy MAUFGA name became synonymous with bravery and was known throughout the land, even in WA, and the caps were seen to be a public endorsement of The Skipper and his entourage.

Particularly popular in the merchandise store were the range of condoms, which said MAUFGA in raised letters when the packets were opened, and MAKE the AUF GREAT AGAIN, as Moderator 6 found to her delight .... when ...........

22 hours ago, Captain said:

"What shall I do" thought Turbo "Be in charge of the south Pacific peso or run the world's biggest pile of debt?"

 

He couldn't make up his mind until Salty and Planey came to him as an AUF based delegation to request that he ........

.......... vacate Wreck Flying all together, as it is clear that he is never going to catch Facty to become the top poster with the most awards.

Turdy listened intently to their entreaties and while he was a little sad, he maintained his usual smooth and passive demeanor .......... and after thinking what we all do in times where we are under pressure "What would onetrack do in such a situation?", Turdboy decided to ........... 

4 hours ago, Captain said:

bull is still missing in action while becoming Xi's tater king of Tassy.

If any of our loyal NESers see bull, he was last seen wearing this.

Or he may look like this as he is prone to taking his dacks off.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....but he didn’t get to continue because every fruit loop in the United States had descended on the Capitol building and were all talking at once while manipulating their IPhones and grabbing any stray ......

...... cat that they could.

Turbo was, however, perplexed as the Democrats had been in touch about him taking over from Joe once Camella was sidelined ..... and at almost the same hour, Chris Bowen had given Tubb a call to see if he would replace Albo ..... which would probably be an easier gig as Tubb speaks with the same Albo dynamism.

"What shall I do" thought Turbo "Be in charge of the south Pacific peso or run the world's biggest pile of debt?"

He couldn't make up his mind until Salty and Planey came to him as an AUF based delegation to request that he ........

CRITICAL UPDATE - bull is still missing in action while becoming Xi's tater king of Tassy.

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........his hangers onm Captain and OneTrack. While he is immaculately dressed in public, never swears, and is respective to women, the other two dress like bums, continually spit and ....................

...... they keep encouraging Turbs to run as his mind isn't too much worse than Bidens.

Turbo jogged to a hastily organised podium, looking like Cliff Young without the raincoat, drew himself up to his full height and commenced to ........

3 hours ago, Captain said:

As is evident from the above, Zi had changed his name to ensure that The Wank couldn't ........

.......... go the same way as Robert Maxwell.

"We will keep him away flom big boats, which are the natural enemy of tycoons)" said Zi, while having dinner in Wagga with the Captain (we actually went undercover at the Gumly Caltex Roadhouse where Zi/Xi (NTTIAWWT) wore a blue singlet and swore like a truckie, ("Bleaker bleaker good budgie" he was heard to say, and "All Freightliners are crap") so nobody tumbled (avref) to who he was ......... and even the 400 unsmiling Chinese security dudes stationed outside didn't give it away.

Near the end of his Bangers and Mash 3 snags Special, Zi popped the big question about Tubb and asked "Is Turbo really as big a  .......

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......dummy, which was a concern for Zi because the book Confucious for Dummys (Turbine Publishing) was streaking towards the lead in this year's Literary awards and it was being said that .........

......... TP had National Geographic, Fox News, the BBC, ABC and the United Nations in their sights for takeover or merger.

As is evident from the above, Zi had changed his name to ensure that The Wank couldn't ........

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....infruence around the world, and now that we've beaten Trump, I was looking forward to some aduration for ....

......... the great Fearless Leader Turbo, who makes Confucius look like a bit of a d........ 

Postscript - I have just received an email from the Chinese embassy which says "IF YOU CONTINUE TO CALL TURBS "TINKY-WANK", WE MAKE YOU GO TO UIGHUR REEDUMACATION CAMP", so Xi is obviously on side with an alliance with Tink.

25 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Geez, I dunno", said Cappy, looking perplexed, now. "This Rainbow Serpent guy is seen in public about as often as Kim Jong-un, and he's.........

.......... a bit toey about being seen with a pleb like you, mate. Plus he is busy running Turbine Industries and all of their affiliates."

"Geeeezzzzz" said Xi "Is it fair dinkum that bloke, because he is a big ..............

......... Aussies chimed in with the well known expression, "The Rainbow Serpent's first steps often lead to the fishes for the masses being .............

(The NES respects old flyers past & present)

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

To that end, he picked up the phone, and made a call to Xi Jinping........

..... "G'day Xi, old mate. How are they hang'n?" The Skipper said, once the  crappy Huawei/Telstra connection went thru & somebody pushed "record".

"No wuckers, Cappy" lesponded Xi with appropriate deference "Do you know how I can contact bull, as we sent him down to Tazzy undercover to take over their potato industry which supplies Maccas (we have our own Lonald MacLee chain up & lunning now) and bull's instluctions were to send the taters dilect to Beijing".

But just as Xi said that, the .......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............but there was a pause in the NES of six days. No one could bring themselves to write the name of the organisation with deep pockets. No one had ever seen them reach into those pockets, but it didn't matter, Foxhunter had seen the washing on the line and...........

........... had been in a intimate (erkyperkyref) Zoom conversation with Planey, Eeeeeeean, the mercurial Facty, OME, RFguy, the Botfly and Moderator 16 to ensure that .........

20 hours ago, Captain said:

..... shag.

 

"You can't say that on this public forum" said Moderator 6.

 

"I would rike one prease, as it's been a pletty rong time between dlinks for me" said Nobu.

 

"See" added Moderator 6, "Now we'll have ........

.......... requests from every old codger on Wreck Flying who thinks he hasn't had his share over the past 2 decades".

"But that's most of 'em, and every member in Tazzy and Qld" retorted onetrack, who has had much more then his share, but who like bull, had lost the use of his shift key when establishing his forum name.

"However" said Moderator 6 ".................

FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT REMEMBER THEIR LAST ONE,

BELOW IS AN IMAGE OF WHAT A GOOD SHAG LOOKS LIKE.

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Turbo saying "Yes, but what if the genes went the other way and they turned out with the wrestling characted of Loxie, where every kid in town has kicked sand in his face, and were as wet as a...............

..... shag.

"You can't say that on this public forum" said Moderator 6.

"I would rike one prease, as it's been a pletty rong time between dlinks for me" said Nobu.

"See" added Moderator 6, "Now we'll have ........

........ Ahlocks, because he is a good sort and because everyone knows that the mix of Wharfy & Firey dna has a strong potential to produce .......

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

Charley had been a former Remnark wharf-front gang leader, who had had a gender reassignment, and who had then.......

......... learnt to use her/his (NTTIAWWT) new skills in a way that attracted flies to her/his new honeypot.

"She/he is so good with the use of her/his newly acquired feminine whiles that we are making her an automatic member of the Remnark CWA" said Mavis and then added with a gleam in her eye "And who wouldn't be fascinated with the prospects of highjinx with a newly minted female ex-wharfy who has a penchant for ............

As a tribute to the UniRoot's signature, The Skipper is offering 2 fitting tributes to Duct Tape.

Uncle Red is modding a 1990 Honda Civic - YouTube

And the Duct Tape Hall of Fame .....

Red Green - Duct Tape Hall Of Fame - YouTube

On 31/12/2020 at 8:32 PM, turboplanner said:

....about to pick up the last copy on the rack when Mavis snatched it.

 

 Cappy was already......

........ primed (avref), but the look in Mavis's eyes said that she was also ..........

STOP PRESS - For lurking non contributory NESers, we apologise that some posts might be lacking here over coming days.

And while the below contributors may not be able to resist posting their brilliant, erudite & humerous ramblings, Turbo, Onetrack, bull, Brine, Eeeeeean and your beloved Captain are currently working on a plan to save Soar Aviation, or at least to buy 50 - 60 aircraft on the cheap.

The new Flight Training Organisation is likely to be named Sore Knees Aviation (SKA).

If any other NESers have a lazy $1 or $2 million to match each of our contributions, feel free to PM us any time.

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

all his memories came flooding back, which....

...... was a bit of a problem as it was non avref related, and involved his 1st erotic experience with Tania Verstak.

Her photo was in a Women's Weekly and the Skipper was just .......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo would never do such a thing, lathough he identifies as a Negrito tribal chief (the Negrotis preceded the aborigines) [We pay respect to the past , the Negritos and present owners of the land etc]

Not may people know that Tania and Turbo were an item (so Cappy has it part right)

Turbo was only ten when Tania was crowned, and they had a happy life together until at 24, Turbo got sick of wearing short pants, a button up shirt and a tie, and sadly it was all over.

 

It was at that age that he built his first Ultralight from crashed Tiger Moth components, starting with ............

......... the kit test pieces (made in Vietnam to save cost), as provided without charge to suck in builders by Turbine's TM Aviation, followed by the empennage where all good kit builders kick off.

The above photo, which also shows bull (shiftkeyref) skulking (bullref) in the bushes as usual, is great proof of the product supplied by Turbine ABS Airbrakes Inc ....... because Cappy's undoubted piloting skills, plus the helpful influence of the no-tip-over non-skid airbrake product from TABSAI, enabled that aircraft (avref) to be recovered undamaged after the Skipper's signature 3-point landing, to be refueled within 15 minutes and to continue its mission, except for that one little issue that was ........