Captain

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........breeze. Going to bone, finding the Water Park, grabbing bull by the scruff of the neck and removing his power.

While this sound like an easy job, no one had counted on the border war between CQ and FNQ where in some places brother was fighting brother ................

.......... and that was just the Siamese Twins in Emerald who were belting the tripe out of each other.

Elsewhere bull was ..........

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......submit to a daily stoning at the Bone Water Park.

"I TOLD you not to serve yesterday's sausages to that XXXXXXX bull!" hissed Alice to Sheryl.

"How was I to know the XXXX would become Minister for Health?" replied Scheryl, I thought we'd XXXXXX him off to Tassie.

And Alice's named was called .........................

 

...... to be member # 1 of bull's harem (Doctors warned that 3 would most likely kill him).

"I shall defend you Alice" declared the CT, who had hightailed it into the hills around Daraweit Guim and had taken on the roll of "Sahara" (see below) to bravely lead the resistance against bull and Anna's and Dan's mobs.

The CT's blonde hair (but does the carpet match the drapes) was flowing and his boob job looked real (but was actually kevlar body armor) and his 1st mission was seen as a ........

See photo of the CT below on the hastily printed flyer (avref)

that was part of his first propaganda leaflet drop (avref).

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

Meantimes, back in Victoristan, Sheik El-Dan An-Drumudh was initiating his own variety of Sheik Anna Law. It was equally as punishing, and it was called Labor Mah-Fiah Law. It was draconian, to say the least. People were locked away for extremely long periods for even the slightest transgression, such as going more than 5kms from home without any authority under Labor Mah-Fia Law. The people were frightened, how long would it be before......

........ Victoristan and Queensmanistan start lobbing poisoned gas at each other, just like in the middle east.

"Thank goodness I live in the western hemisphere" said OT "Although I am certainly aware that we are sometimes disparagingly referred to as "Sand Monkeys" as well."

In the meantime Turbo has taken up the same role as Anne Frank did in WW2, and had arranged an escape route for Eeeeaann through the snow in the Dandenongs (the modern equivalent of Switzerland) and into the freedom of South Australia, where an ungrateful Eeeeeaann was heard to say "I'd rather be dead than live in Glenelg ......... but while I am here I may as well change the hosting service again for Wreck Flying ....... and with that I'll ban all SAAA members from posting their poisonous ideas".

All this, while at the same time, the child bearing ladies from Bone were chucking their nippers over the wall into the Townsville Lavarack Army Base because bull was flat out enforcing Sharona Law throughout f'nQ by insisting that the CWA ladies ............

Turdboy has even grown his hair long to look like Anne

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"اوس تاسو احمق یاست چې ټولنیز واټن نه لرئ په ډزو به وی" he said, and the CQs and FNQs trembled because they realised the for the first time they were going to be .....................

....... under the iron thumb of a Bone Warlord who had until now been in exile in Tasmania.

"We are in the XXXX now" commented the CWA ladies, who have already initiated burqa sewing classes "As bull (who has taken the name of Shake bull bin Everywhere) has aligned himself with the SAAA (avref), who have a vicious reputation and who have already commenced the search of all houses looking for people who are member of the AUF or the GFA .......... or who even mention the word Rotax (blasphemers), or Wreck Flying or Turbo or our fearless leader Eeeeaaann (soon to go into hiding), or who ...... 

PS ..... Note the "Trigger Discipline" (TD) exhibited by the 2 dudes (2Ds) with rifles in the above photo.

They have obviously completed a Qld Weapons Licensing Course (QWLC) and a Firearms Human Fuctors Lecture (FHFL) or 2 (2), such that they would be acceptable to participate in a bunny busting safari at Daraweit Guim (DG) or around Kandahar (کندھار).

20 hours ago, onetrack said:

Bull proudly stated, "I have no affiliations with any Victoristan identities who are known to be unscrupulous and opportunistic, as the Leader of the Turbinia group has been known to be. Furthermore, I have received no hidden donations (apart from the odd brown paper bag, in line with old Qld traditions), from people who are known to be.....

.... members of a related group known as the "Talabinia", led by Sheik Anna bin Palachook.

"At the next AGM" said Anna in a prepared statement "All we need to do is delete 2 letters and we will be able to take over all of the American weapons that are stored in f'nQ, then I'll institute Sharona Law before we .......

ANNA PREPARING FOR HER PRESS CONFERENCE

The bloke in the back has just started chanting "My Sharona" (see the below

link for the words, as the singing of this Qld State Anthem will be compulsory in 2022.)

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=song+my+sharona&view=detail&mid=5F3B197BF41A4F09F24C5F3B197BF41A4F09F24C&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dsong%2bmy%2bsharona%26cvid%3d194876a7d7a6469faeec31d473875a2a%26aqs%3dedge.0.0l8.5868j0j1%26pglt%3d515%26FORM%3dANNTA1%26PC%3dLCTS

PETE'S JERKOFFWALLABY, HERE SEEN ON THE GROUND AT

ZEEHAN INTERNATIONAL, AND PAINTED IN TASMANIA'S OFFICIAL

STATE COLOURS, SO AS TO QUALIFY AS A TAX DEDUCTION.

2 hours ago, bull said:

The family first gained fame  when the family escaped lockdown on thier state of the art steam vessel and at high speed [30 knots in 1897 not bad]departed the state of pricktoristan and sailed south and established the..................... 

......... People's Free Democratic Communal Kibbutz of Tasmania (the PFDCKoT) which was similar to, but a 2 headed version of, the Judean Peoples Front (splitters) (respects to all Monty Pythons past and present). [It should be noted here that when an organization's name includes the words "People's" or "Free" or "Democratic", you can be certain that they are not any of those things].

OT called Ratso this morning to discuss the fact that given Forum anonymity, how can we be certain that Turbo is not actually Chairman Dan and bull is not Peter GutsoWhine, because Turbo seems to know a lot about, and to have profited from, the corruption that is Victoristan and bull's melon is the same shape as Pete's (see pic below) plus Pete flys a JackoffRoo to the west coast whenever cabinet meetings are held in Zeehan.

These revelations prompted Eeeeean to initiate a complete identity and background check for all members of Wreck Flying and Eeeean issued an edict (some say it is a fatwah) which, in Eeeeean's own words, prescribed that .......

IS THAT DOME BULL'S OR PETE'S?

You can see how he loves the wind thru his hair when flying (avref) the Jackoffwallaby

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....internecine breeding. In fact there's a whole Act, the Internecine Breeding Act which is designed to prevent ....................

........ the interbreeding of 2 or more nieces.

However, in Tasmania, that does not prevent the ..........

CLARIFICATION FROM WRECK FLYING'S ADMIN AND THE AUF'S HUMAN FUCTORS SZAR - A 50 Cal machine gun is considered to be acceptable by the AUF Board and the Human Fuctors Subcommittee of the AUF, however the AUF does now officially draw the line at 50 mil machine guns as suggested by Turbo in his recent post, as this causes Weight and Balance issues that are even greater than the W&B issue that AUF members usually ignore.

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Meanwhile Bull, or bull a he is still better known had been booked for having a 50 mil gun mounted on an aircraft which was a terrorist offence, and .........

.... even worse, was an offense against the Human Fuctors Clause 6.iv.24B.xxi,b.(24.5) which describes the perils of Shoot-Em-Up-Itis, the need for Zen, and the human Tasmanian man's ultimate desire to pull a trigger, see tracers in the air (avref) and to control ......

..... taken about 30% of one of those blue pills so that his manhood could be .....

1 hour ago, bull said:

BEWARE, he is really trying to indocrinate/incriminate/inseminate you [you choose which applies] and there is a world wide wave turbulance effect [avref] that was just now starting to be felt by all the ladies at the CWA hall after Turdo had convinced them to dress like this and the wave........................

...... increased to a crescendo as every Wreck Flyer who is desperate (so almost all) commenced suck-it-&-see (SIAS) calculations of whether they can get across Bass straight and down in time to the Tazzy CWA ladies meeting, known locally as The SwimSuit Edition AGM (the SSEA).

"I have dibs on the 2nd one from the right" nominated OT in his flight plan and he quickly departed for Cocklebiddy where the refueling is  .......

6 hours ago, bull said:

Rona smona

And seeing those 2 words sent Turbo's heart all a-flutter and transported him back almost 60 years, as Rhona Schmona was a loner (but also a moana) from Altona and was one of his early conquests.

"He said that he was a doctor and offered to give me a vax for polio" said Rhona with a gleam in her tired old eyes "But I was innocent and had no idea that the polio vax needed to be given (and received) where Dr Turbo decided to give it, or what he used to give it with, as I was expecting that he would use a needle. But it felt good and by the 25th weekly booster jab, Dr Turbo and I were in love".

So if he wants to vax you ......

AS ANOTHER ASIDE FOR THE NES ........

JUST A LITTLE RONA JOKE

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

A fishing boat off the coast of Victoria, noticed a single head bobbing in the water. He knew it was safe to continue because there was only one head, but he didn't expect......

.... that it would be the world famous Tazzy Stud bull.

The Fisho was Mextorian so thought that the name of the pluckee would be "Bob" (bobbingref), .......... and why is this fisherman not working from home anyway?

He plucked bull from the water, gave him a mask and looked him up and down.

Bull's clothes had been burnt off by the afterburner and the Fisho said "Do you mean to tell me that you are replenishing the Tazzy gene pool using that?"

Bull refused to be embarrassed, after all he was using capital letters again now, and he replied ".....

32 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......initially, that they were only tourist lookouts. However, bull suddenly realised what they were, when he flew a little lower to examine them more closely, and spotted people holding up banners that read, ".....

"All Galaposmanians should F off" and "Victorian Lives Matter" (VLM) then both followed by "And if you don't bugger off you'll cop a 50 cal or 3 up your JackOffRoo" (JOR avref).

But bull was made of sterner stuff (after all, he was originally a Boner from FNQ) and he had established himself in a unique position as prime breeding stock in the sewer that is the Tasmanian gene pool, so he .............

..... there may have been an Rissole Death Cult (RDC) in operation.

Everything described by Turbo's last post has caused paleontologists world wide to regard Tasmania as the Galapagos of the Indo-Pacific region.

A major study is therefore now underway to understand the flow on effects of the injection of bull's new & virile FNQ genes into such a closed & feudal society.

This provides a unique opportunity and while this paleontological work is confidential, we understand that samples are being taken each time that bull mates with a local, after which he ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Yet it wasn't that long ago that the men in Hobart were forced to wear nosepegs by the wives, and "holding the strings" was a well used phrase down in the .......

..... region where the men wore thongs (undiesref not flipflopsref).

The Tazzy men were well known for their exhibitionist stunts when they went to B&S Balls and all stood in a line with their thongs on backwards (called "holding the strings" to the front), hence the reason why the B&S functions were called "Balls", as once an attendee saw this spectacle, thereafter they always ......

Ratso had a photo to post here of this shocking lineup, but it is very offensive and he does not wish to be banned again. However a copy can be PM'd to those who apply.

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

......and being hosed out. But "pants off" means something completely different to Cappy, in this era of being locked up, with nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to eat, and nothing to wipe your bum with.

Then there's the unfortunate part of being locked up with other people who are......

..... also wipe-less.

"With no dunny paper, but still the need to go (but not a bidet or a gum-leaf in sight), groups of more that 5 consenting adults are starting to smell like a cross between Moorabbin and Kabul" observed bull, who can smell them in Tazzy when the northerly wind is blowing.

"In Europe it is called the Meltemi" said bull, who has been a broad (since the operation) "Whereas in Tasmania it is known as the Mel........

13 hours ago, bull said:

Yeeeppp yelled Bull no lockdowns and the pubs are open and all is well in the apple isl,   plenty of dunny paper and no ques.  Bit sad about cappy and his rello,s all locked down and fearful ,staring out on the world from thier prison cave.  Why just look at the poor expressions on his cousins faces in this family shot.   They are being held in the third rite state with vaccine tattoos coming out tomorrow the fear is real .................

.......... & hard to take."

"That's how I feel when I see Turdy in his shorts" said the CWA Waitress, and let me tell you, she has seen a few.

With the sad lockdown situation in Vicmanistan and Cockroachville, the NESers who are domiciled there are super excited and happy to see bull burst back on the scene with such joyous & erudite posts, as all were heretofore worried that his struggles with his pineapple and mango plantations on Bruny island (he called his 2000 acre plantation (Bone on the D'Entrecasteaux) might have overwhelmed him (Turbine marketing also thought it ill-advised to market pineapples and mangoes with a logo that featured a photo from this week's snowcapped Mt Wellington).

But in the midst of all of this good news, bull's expertise with his deliberate ground loops of his jackoffroo made the font page of the crash comic, but even more worrying was that it ........... 

AS AN ASIDE - No wonder Turbo has his fixation about Epaulette, as below is a photo of a young 4-Bar Turbo with his hand on it, as usual, and about to destroy yet another Evinrude.

But considering what a fine specimen Turbo was, and is, you can easily see why the CWA Coffee Shop waitress almost slips off her stool every time that he walks in.

As the waitress knows, and as you can see from the facial expression on the blonde lady in the photo, Turbo really needs to wear shorts that are a little longer than those shown, to ensure that everything remains covered and suitably constrained.

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and they both became all tearful and turned on the ........

........ waitress down at the CWA coffee shop, when they described their ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

His Gaze fell on OT who was rebuilding a D7 (or it could have been a D8) and he .......

........ said in a very friendly mate-like manner "I'm the same as Turbo and have always preferred Komatsu for their .........

12 hours ago, onetrack said:

OT has nominated him to head a new group - Men Against Sly Tricks Under Rackets Built Around Turbo's Original Racket Schemes .....

FROM ADMIN ....... THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE AND OT, WHILE A HIGHLY RESPECTED MEMBER OF THE AVIATION COMMUNITY, WILL BE GIVEN A 2 WEEK SUSPENSION FROM WRECK FLYING, EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY. - MODERATOR 12