Captain

3 hours ago, Captain said:

all quivered due to the "Ancient Mariner" type setting and the prospect of .......

.... escaping the terrible oppression of Mextoria, wearing their masks while up on the bow, Titanic style, only to then enter the placid and sunny turquoise blue pollution free water of the South Island where freedom is available, even to the lower classes, and bull is the defacto Prince of Sunshine and Light (PoSaL).

As the wags sing before all sporting events down in Tasmania (to the tune of Proud Mary) "bull is our PoSaL with a huge ........

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

No one seemed unduly worried, so ...................

....... the door was silently closed and the ghost ship that is the Spirit of Tazzy, silently glided out into the mists & pollution of Port Phillip Bay, such that the crewmembers, who were all lower cast people from northern India (typical Trackbine recruiting prectice) all quivered due to the "Ancient Mariner" type setting and the prospect of ......... 

41 minutes ago, Captain said:

is operated and crewed by Trackbine Marine of Panama Inc,

BREAKING MARITIME NEWS - WA Government announces that a new Tax Haven (TH) and No Liability Ship Registration Zone (NLSRZ) will be centered on Rottnest Island in what Emperor McGowan described as an attempt to overtake Panama as the center of world shipping. "If this all works as well as we expect, we will also put a canal across Rotty and then one from Onslow to Newman to expedite iron ore exports" said Mark, who is known in WA as the "Entrepreneur's Entrepreneur" (EE).

1 hour ago, bull said:

But as the van lifted into the air the................

....... very moment that the ......

(The Spirit of Tazzy is now owned by Turbine Maritime and is operated and crewed by Trackbine Marine of Panama Inc, in a unique example of cooperation between Aussie moguls).

3 hours ago, bull said:

.......tulips that cappy planted last year,

 Sidenote - "Those are not tulips, bull old mate" whispered Cappy "Those are (were) my secret stash of poppies which I had nicked from the CWA's Opium Den and replanted for my own use if I ever grazed my knee again and the pain was too extreme. Jenny, the cow that ate those "tulips" is now very relaxed. (Just say'n).

1 hour ago, bull said:

.what looked like....................

... a group of high quality ...

1 hour ago, bull said:

very large.......

....... entourage of ..........

1 hour ago, bull said:

The Ceo of DIA {Derwent International Airports] Bull was asked for comment and so far we have not recieved a reply....] 

...... however a clear, precise, expansive and comprehensive statement is expected as soon as bull has checked and double checked his dickshun, dicktation, punctuation and smelling. (Best estimates are some time late 2022).

48 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Cappy's poor physical and psychological condition today, can be directly sheeted home to his ruthless driving ambition, which has led to him committing ......

...... to growing a beard, developing a poncy attitude and having plastic surgery (see recent photo below) to play Kevin MacBeth as soon as the theatre opens after the Rona.

However the issue is that Dan looks like keeping the Theatre closed until 2023 and poor Cappy is stuck looking like this and speaking like a complete do..........

LATEST PHOTO OF CAPPY IN CHARACTER. HE IS A WONDERFUL

ACTOR AND THIS SURPASSES ECKA BANNA PUTTING ON 30 KGS

& PLAYING CHOPPER. (Cappy is naturally blonde [all over, as Mavis

can attest] but the grey rinse is working out OK).

HOWEVER CAPPY HAS ALSO RECEIVED AN OFFER FROM SOUTH PARK

THAT WITH THAT PLASTIC SURGERY, HE CAN SHAVE OFF HIS BEARD,

LOSE THE GREY, AND PLAY 3 SEASONS AS BUTTERS.

..... crow thrice, which excited almost all of the players in the Turbine Shakespeare Theatre Company (the much revered TSTC) who were rehearsing for ......

Note - The TSTC are not to be confused with the Trackbine Shakespeare Players Company (the less well established TSPC) who have their Theatre in the Round (TitR) behind the 15th sandhill after you leave Perth heading for Geraldton.

Further fun fact - Onesie himself was known, in his earlier years, as a TitRer. 

..... rooster .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

As he sat on a rock he realised how this would look at the Club when word slipped out as it always did, so he swam back across the river, and headed straight for the girls witha very determined look on his face, but ........

.... just as he moved, the CT put a couple of quick shots just over his head (and they weren't his usual poxy little .22's either).

Now Cappy may be a Rat (Julia, who runs the Cloncurry CWA's & Aero Club's B&S Ball, used to call him Cappy-Bara .... so he can be very dangerous when cornered - see T-shirt below) but he can also move like a Cat, particularly when the lead is flying, so he coughed up a hairball and immediately .....

11 hours ago, bull said:

after reaching the other bank of the river he d..........

.....emanded restitution, which is another way of .........

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........know y.................

..... esterday before it was evident that j..........

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...almost what he thought would .......

........ have been interesting to ......

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....agreed, but what happened next wasn't ..................

....... what was expected, however it was .......

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

and moleskins with a tight crutch.

Sidenote - What can I say? It is a family trait which, btw, can be a curse when attending a CWA fete.

......... attitude that she will protect all Queenslanders from the Rona and Queensland is for Queenslanders .......... except where we need tourist dollars and GST from the rest of OZ ............... just like the Antarctic Quarantine Facility (the AQF) is for Antarcticans.

bull's last post has triggered a lot of excitement in Mextoria and in Ochre/Sand-ville and Turbine I + Trackbine Industries started to put together their proposals to run and maintain the AQF (after all it is only Turbine I that would know the cost of keeping a 50,000 bed facility warm in Antarctic temperature (as that is similar to keeping an old folks home warm in Geelong). When Turbs drafted his proposal he also omitted the bit about locating Rona +ve patients back into the facility [This is what is known in the old-folks trade as the Andrews/Cuomo doctorine].

Onesie really wanted the contract so he ..........

Note - Oh. bugger, I am 3 posts too late as they were on the next page ....... but who cares really, so I'm gunna leave it here ......... wrote Ratfeatures, all depressed that he has lost the plot again.

2 hours ago, bull said:

and headed south .   The fallout from this was that.....

...., as usual, Turbo pointed out the bleeding obvious. "Does bull realise that when heading south, the next bit to land on is white?"

OT, who had authored a land claim over the eastern bits of 'Tarctica, with a plan to rename it "Trackville", was wary that bull had his mind set on .....

2 hours ago, Captain said:

a new big-time King Air 360

SIDE NOTE - As per Turdy's above post, the money to buy the 360 and the necessary endorsements was a doddle for bull ("Petty Cash" he described it as). The big issue came when he tried to circumvent all approvals to extend & pave his bush strip. It was going pretty well until Bob Brown and the Anti-Everything Party (the A-EP) got wind of the fact that bull was intending to fill in the top 5 kms of the Derwent & flatten most of the Mount Dromedary Forest Reserve.

bull was very surprised when nobody accepted his statements about "It's just progress you clowns" and "This will generate jobs for the lower strata masses", plus cash offers achieved nothing, but luckily, bull had always been a very attractive chap (to both sexes - NTTIAWWT) and a deal was done.

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Bull was picking up a $1 licence fee and had become a multi-millionaire, but it went to his head and he .........

.......... decided to join the SAAA and buy, not earn, a PPL with a twin engine & a single pilot twin turbine (engineavref not Turboavref) endorsement with plans for buying a new big-time King Air 360 and all (how big-headed and difficult/smart-arsed (SAAAref) is that?), then he also bought the dog back in order to ....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....more engineering of Ringer, so he washed the stripes off and started supergluing chunks of Merino wool on Ringer, picked up a set of horns from the local knackery and ....................

...... left the false teeth in.

However once the paleontologist from the Uni de Tasmanie (note the ongoing influence of the French dudes that had been sniffing around Tasmania when the joint was 1st discovered ..... which is why french kissing is still so popular down there, even to this day) examined the animal, bull realized the magnitude of Turbo's con-job (CJ) as the false teeth were in the wrong end and the dog had a permanent smile when he cocked his left leg and a fearsome frown when cocking his right.

For this reason bull felt that he had no option, other than to ...........

50 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......and like a famous Australian Olympian, bull sailed past the financial genii, bought himself a $20,000 two story mansion on the Derwent with his own entrance from the street, and started looking around for something to fly [avref].............

......... the details and background of which was picked up by the Crash Comic, Australian Flying and the Hobart Herald, all running the story written by bull's ghost writer (the leading bloke or blokette from Turbine Ghost Writers for Hire Pty Ltd (TGWFHPL)).

"bull is the Stephen Bradbury of our time" the article commenced, as Australia needs a new super-hero (other than Dan) in these tough times. "Let's hope he doesn't become corrupted or managed by one of those new spiv fly-by-night (avref) Corporations from Vic or SandMonkeyVille (SMV).

"I will use my newfound wealth only for good" bull is quoted as saying "And my 1st good deed shall be to meet all of Eeeeaaannn's costs to come back from SA into the bosom of Mextoristan democracy, and next I will ........... 

10 minutes ago, onetrack said:

But Turbo had engaged the cleverest lawyers in Australia to defend the charges. It just happened to be coincidental that the legal eagles were based in Wagga, and it was unfortunate the legal company name was "Cook, Crook and Took". But that was nothing compared to their record, which was.......

...... jolly good from a CC&T insider's point of view.

"We have many successful cases & clients" said Cappy in a prepared statement "They may have bugger all money after we finish with them, but just look on the bright side .............

Is this Dirk or Turbo?

I can't tell, although I think Turbo's head is bigger (perhaps because of the success of TI).

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Within a few days .........

.......... the wholesome young lassie on reception had spread all around town that Dirk Bogarde was in the building, as he and Turbo have a striking resemblance.

However she then needed to publish a correction as nobody wanted to see or smell Dirk, who has been dead for 22 years, so she stated that all is OK and Tubb just smells a bit like tinea because of the mange, but he is very much alive although he does rattle when he breathes, (however not as badly as Dirk does during a Californian earthquake).

Turbo, doing his best Dirk Bogarde impression, lolling in his Vette, while smoking a durry with his arm around the receptionist, was a poster on the walls of many young and impressionable ...........

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........plan was to just stall if the press came sniffing around, and sure enough ................

......... 4 Corners gave him a call, looking to stick the knife into him, as Turbo and Rupert have a lot in common (Rupert has Fox News and Turbo has the mange that he got from a manky fox).

Turbs had always fancied Louise Milligan & Sally Neighbour (separately or together he often fantasized) so he ............