Captain

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......the infrastructure and development. “Do you have any development around here?” He asked, and up stepped Loxie, Jose in hand and ......

......... this was when the Loxie & José affair came (Loxie&Joseref) to national prominence after Loxie chose to compete in the National Firies Games as a transitioning female weightlifter & hammerthrower.

The MFIT&RD was also fascinated by the physics of it all, plus he was a bit of a pervert (Turboref) as aforeto he was only interested in building, roads and other similar xxxx, but now he asked some rather pointed questions (under the cover of parliamentary privilege) about the snip & the positions used by Loxie & José when they .........

OFF TOPIC - Explanation just for our very own Onesie.

Including a note about safety with rabbits.

https://www.facebook.com/TheGingerBilly/videos/418583288763076/ 

....... chuck at him, as based on those succinct instructions the Australian nation was prepared for war.

All, except that the Frigates are running a bit late, the French Subs are a tad behind, the F45's (avref) can't fly (avref) further north than Toowoomba and even our large fleet of Drifter combat aircraft are short of thru-bolts and Rotax gearbox spares.

"Can you give Xi a tingle and see if we can put it off until 2035" said Scotty in his call to Turbo "And by 2035 we can also fight a shooting war with net zero emissions, so it will be a win-win ...................... except for whoever the poor bugger is that lose-loses."

This was Turbo's biggest test and he ..........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

TurbineNN sent a newsflash to Cappy to activate the Spratley's Defence............

.......... and the newsflash was succinct plus fairly direct.

"Activate the Spratley's Defence (ATSD)" it said, then Turbo went all verbose again, as usual, and added "F............

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...the petrolonastraycatstail (POSCT) method which always produced a record run to ................

....... the cat in a sub Olympic 5.4 secs for the 100 metres.

"We use that ratest method to tlain our athretes" said the boss of the CCP Orympics Fedelation (the CCPOF) and you should see our lunners go, with 2 ritres of 97 ULP on their clackers, and then we ............

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...do a flare [avref], and then ...........

.......... a few random Roman Candles (referencetoflareref & airshowpyrotechnicsref), which Doubtfire (bisexualcopperref) had inserted (painfulhumanempannageref) and then lit (Ahloxref) using ........

..... that Ahlox stood outside the fire station in a see-through RFS supplied smock while he hung his hose up to dry.

Then Doubtfire thought of a profound aviation (avref) question (thank goodness that she can get the NES back on track (onesieref)) and she asked "Hey Ratty. When you fly your Mk7 (inchref) Thruster (doubleentendreref), do those couple of genital piercings whistle like a Gloucester Meteor's gun ports as you .......

..... "How the heck does he pierce THAT, and THOSE, without them springing a leak or ..........

..... hermaphroditic, and had a big .......

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

However, this grating behaviour finally got too much for the assembled crowd, and it wasn't long before a grumpy old man took a swipe at the Were-Rabbit, whereupon a large part of his costume fell off, exposing.........

...... his left one.

"It's a wardrobe failure" he yelled defensively "Just like Janet had, except that mine is .......

A REMINDER ABOUT JANET'S (NTTIAWWT).

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

............. cannot be described here in this august journal because it contains an aviation reference which could confuse readers who primarily come here for advice on food, medical issues and politics. However it is similar to a ...........

...... location where OT's big bunny had hidden the carrot. (Ref ... see the photo of Onesie's rabbit just 3 posts prior to this and consider the expression on his face which, I submit to the court, indicates exactly where the carrot had been inserted).

Aviation references (avref) have been in short supply since the GL&LMG (NTTIAWWTBTW) event had been announced and, by coincidence, that has also led to an outbreak of self ab.........

...... inappropriately touching an empennage (avref) or 2, which ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....GrassEater fur, holding Fashion Parades Online and also in the flesh, but you ....................

........ wouldn't want to know, that CT Events Corp (which has now taken 80% of the business away from Turbine Planned Public or Social Occasions Pty Ltd (ASX code TPPoSOPL, whose shares have crashed as a result) have now received approval to hold a Gay Liporidae & Lepus Mardi Gras (NTTIAWWTBTW), which commences in Moorabbin and continues down ..............

Late mail - CT Events have been approached by the IOC to run the Brisbane Olympics in 2032.

........ which thru the promotional skills of Turbine Promotions and Hyping PLC, have now become de rigueur for Xmas dinners, which means that CT Rabbit Industries P/L with their processing facility at Darraweit Guim but headquartered in Bourke St in the CBD of Melbournistan (who will now not accept any order from a family of 4 of less that 10 pairs of hoppers) are bigger on the ASX than Bega Cheese and Peanut Butter Inc and have even started to expand into Bunny Cheese and ........... 

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

com in recommending a dandruff treatment which gives you a dandruff free scalp in one application. Dan.com is a Diversity Partner, and Dan.com can be confidently used by women and children as well as men. Dan.com is also a sustainable industry, the product being supplied by parent company Turbine Sump Inc. which collects ................      Please note corrections here to Turbo's crappy smelling.

...... the run-off from various Covid Press Conferences and converts that brown slime into a wonderful and useful dandruff killer.

There are some risks of course, but as Turbo often says, if the vaccines don't need to be medically approved or efficacious, why should I have to worry about a few .......

And so, loyal NESers are yet again divided on which post to reply to. This is posing Covid-like consternation worldwide and Melbournistan is going into another lockdown as a result ...... just because Dan can ......... and Turbo stands with Dan.

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

What was he going to do now?! He couldn't wear the uniform looking like that! All the girls would laugh at him, not flock to him! He walked into the tailors in despair, and said, "Look........

......., I know what get the ladies going, so make me look like a Tasmanian Flight Instructor and AUF President, therefore I want xxxx'n braid, lots of gold braid and a zipper on my jump suit that goes all the way down past my .........

27 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....subtle application of 1/4 choke,

"Geeeez they do their cranking the hard way in WA" said bull with respect "As a 1/4 choke and # 6 shot will fairly xxxx the old Vanguard."

.......... stratospheric unless you practice the art of ........ 

5 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.......the starting race which required the contestants to start the old Vanguard six with the "stirring stick" {motoring ref}.......

...... a prayer (religionref), a .......

.... take their breath away again, just like that time when he won .....

........ become available again as a sex object, after he announced that the rash had finally cleared up & that he was now fully vaccinated, although .......

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The TWDL team smiled and they walked with Coyote down the road to Hooters to celebrate with ........

......... a young and well endowed waitress who looked like a cross between Olive Oil, Sheena of the Jungle, the Tazzy Devil and .......

29 minutes ago, onetrack said:

I've got another mate recommending some dubious legal bunch called 'Turbine Whine & Dyne Legal', and I'm not finding any good reports on this........

...... bunch of losers, as the last data that I have is that they represented the Coyote in his action against ACME Anvils and they lost in such a way that the RoadRunners was ..........

As a coup for NES readers, Simsy has provided the following teaser which shows one of his future hit songs from "Wombats".

"Mr. Mistopholees the Grass Strip Wombat" is expected to be the star of the musical and below is a photo of one of the initial costumes for MMtGSW. It is fortunate for the production values & costs that Wombats look so feline in real life.

BABS STREISAND IS SET FOR A SCREEN TEST AS PART OF HER COMEBACK,

BUT PINK IS ALSO IN THE RUNNING, AND SO IS LINDA LOVELACE.

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Simsy has already started writing a Stage Musical called ........."Cats", and .........

..... this attracted considerable attention from Andrew Lloyd Webber, who called Simsy.

"Is that you Andy?" answered Simsy who had Andy's number on speed-dial. "I was just talking to our common mate Dave-oh, who is filming just north of here at DG. You should consider including the massacre, at DG & the 5 Blessed Rivulets, as a key location in one of your musicals, but you might find trouble getting anything to rhyme with it. But I digress, old mate, so what can I do for you Andy?"

"Thanks for the tipoff, Simsy old mate, and I'll give Dave-ohh a tingle when we finish here, to catch up on what he has been up to. BTW, he sent me an sms the other day suggesting that I write a new musical titled "Wombats", so it'll be a pretty interesting chat."

"Don't you, you, you, worry about that" replied Simsy sounding just like Jo talking to the ABC "As I have already registered that name and have started recruiting for the lead role of ......