Captain

17 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............quietly drained the rabbit P vats at Darraweit Guim, excised them from the travel poster and sold the last of his stock to the Catholic Church as Communion Wine, and had his photo taken with a testimonial to Dr OT.

"That should do it" he thought, and ........................

........ investigated conversion to the Muslim faith, however relocation to Bandung on the slopes of the volcano and the new identity as Turdboy bin Turbine (and no grog ..... nor chick magnet Corvette) just didn't do it for him, or his hareem, so his ................... 

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

He needed to consult with......

...... Brett Sutton, who moonlighted for Turdy as a snake-oil salesman.

Brett suggested that Turbine Industries cut and run by unloading the rest of the stock of their coke-bottle infused DDV through farmer's markets out bush and via roadside stalls in Jakarta & Mumbai. (While TI is now way bigger than ICI, Brett failed (what a dill) to warn Tubb about a repeat of the Bhopal incident, which would put the Turbine fortune at risk).

Turdy was shocked because he had never had his clock cleaned so thoroughly previously and he saw that everyone on the NES (and aviators worldwide) wanted to know & be seen with Dr OT, so he ......

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Covid-19.

It was OT who had noted the intense interest from some of the thousands of WreckedAv [avrep] who totally rejected the vaccines hawked by the Evil Empire and the lockdowns put in place by the nicknames we can't mention here.

 

And so Trackbine introduced "Double Dose Vaccinate", a rabbit product which the patient drinks.

DDV provides immediate protection from Covid -19 and Trackbine provides an ornate Double Dose Vaccinated Passport for the Patient's convenience. 

 

It wasn't long before ............

 

 

........ the Evil Empire (EE), being Turbine Industries and their various flunkies, brought out their own DDV which was manufactured in an old copper water heater in the back of the Moorabbin knock shop (as owned by TI) from powdered rhinoceros horns, anteater's snouts and kiwi's beaks (which are in a bit of short supply atm, so the every resourceful {and shonky} Turdboy substituted ............... 

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

OT decided he would have to open more factories in China, so accordingly, he went to........

....... great length to disguise that fact and printed up labels that said "Made in far northern Vietnam" and "Manufactured in far southern Russia".

But that was the least of OT's worries as Trackbine Industries had been summonsed by the Mextorian RSPCA (as sponsored by Turbine Industries under a litigation funding scam) for which the pleadings commenced "Here we are with bunnies surviving all those issues as described (and admitted) in Dr. Onesie's above post, and now Trackbine Industries (Booooo Hisssss) want to cut their XXXXs off to make a powdered affro-dizzy-ack and a potion to fix .............  

PS - For completeness & to comply with Vicmanistan law (some of which are Sharona in nature under Mohamed bin Andrews), Wreck Flying must disclose that the above Pleadings were settled by Mr J. Rat and Mr. B. Salty of Counsel. 

47 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 

OT seized this opportunity to ..............

...... promote Trackbine Industries (TI) which had been inspired by the Twigster and by the success in the east of Turdy's own TI.

Dr Onesie had therefore bought himself a PhD and had taken the Trackbine Industries conglomerate (TIC) public with a flourish that has seldom been seen in ..........

..... our so called "fellow Australians" in the west are a different breed of ochre encrusted sand monkey, who have a chip on both shoulders and an unhealthy .........

PS - This well identified trait of our WA cousins has been partly assuaged by OT who seems, at first glance, to be quite a decent chap. 

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Was that the photo of you at The Guineabissau BNS Cap?

 

No, you clot, that is bull's main squeeze ............. and responsible for dislocating his 3rd, 5th and 13th vertebrae.

bull is a total mess and may never fly (avref) or XXXX (bettref) again.

Further to my above post, do you have appropriate sympathy for bull's back?

And his front?

See below.

And this photo was taken before her sex boycott.

For Turdboy's edification, this post is not designed as one for following on from, so there are no dots. So please go back to the previous one.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........except Cappy of course, who'd go for anything except ...........

...... a XXXX sandwiche.

Just like the pushback against the Texas anti-abortion laws, the PETA girls and Bett Middler proposed a sex boycott until people stopped eating at the RkC.

This suited bull as it gave him a chance to restock with manky roos from between Broken Hill and Wilcannia, plus Bett had been pestering him for years and was demanding favors twice weekly, which had damaged bull's back.

So once the RkC warehouse and distribution centers were full, and Bett was decidedly empty, bull resolved to stick .......

25 minutes ago, bull said:

Known locally to Qlders as Cow pate, and was an instant hit,sales have now gone 50 million since last friday, maybe we should list it on the stockmarket said.............

....... Turbine Stockbroking "As bull's "Cow Pate" is just like a Hash-Brown, but is actually more a Hash-Blackish Green", however it is the new restaurant rage and is ......

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

bull looked around; since CT had stopped shooting bunnies and left four new Holiday Inns had been built and a Hilton on the site of the old feed store which, with its 200 tonnes of manure had been shifted 8 km out of town.

He wondered ..............

........ "I reckon that I can make use of that 200 te as part of my new in-house flambé recreation of that classic dish that is .......

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........they'd already been through the meat tenderiser, so costs of production decreased and..............

........ it all became totally believable (and the restaurants bulged at the seams) when bull arranged that each plate would include a few embedded inches of plastic grill from various collectable GM, Ford and Toyota vehicles.

This worked a treat and was just like little collectable plastic toys in cornflakes packets back in Turbo's day.

However the demand meant that grills started disappearing off any vehicle that was parked in any city in OZ, just like 179 badges were pinched off EH holdens back in the day, and when the grill disappeared off his Vette, Turbo spat the dummy, called bull and said "....

(Meanwhile Bluetongues were declared as endangered, once bull included them (filleted or whole) in his list of Entrees and he used their tongues to colour his dessert special ... as they were cheaper than using blueberries).

...... for authenticity had been fitted with those little Roo Shoo devices and cheap spotlights so that after being clobbered, the sheep had the imprinted spotlight broken glass seal of approval (including the "bull's RkC" logo) and looked like ...... 

(This logo was an important initiative by bull as it stopped little kids from sending in Bluetongues that they had hit with a hammer)

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

In this case since the alleged offences were taking place in Australia...............

....... so any charges had to be written upside down and backwards (Sdrawkcab), but when the US lawyers examined the Aussie copyright laws they dropped the case, as bull had, indeed, copied it right.

So bull went for the doctor and franchised his "The Roadkill Cafe's all over OZ and his promotion (bull is a master salesman and is inherently believable) was so successful that most Maccas, KFCs and Midas muffler centers converted over, to the point that bull's RkC chain were so popular that there wasn't a dead roo, emu, goat, bunny, echidna, fox, squashed frilled neck lizard or Bluetongue available on the roads anywhere. Therefore, the RkC central warehouse & distribution center needed to buy in thousands of sheep which were killed humanely using a 1986 Kia that had been .......

13 minutes ago, bull said:

recycling roadkill

It's an oldie but a goodie, as bull stole the name from the US venture that does the same, and called it:

THE ROADKILL CAFE - FROM YOUR GRILL TO OURS. 

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........12,000 extra homicide cases per year as a result of the typical cockie's aim and strike rate, if any.

As a byproduct of that, the bunny population would explode (not in a way which would increase the hoomicide rate), to the point where motorists would be ..............

....... experiencing less tyre wear, as their trips are cushioned on bunny ......

PS - "Hold on there" said Dan. "Those extra homicide cases would save us from 12,000 possible Rona cases and take the load off our ICU's. These are the types of solutions that I'm paid $450,000 a year to solve. So let's promote homicides (not the TV show but)".

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........result in the local Prime Lamb Industry, already on the ropes, failing from the stock depradations requiring a payout for the 75,000 local farmers involved between DG and the centre of Melbourne, which would ..................

.......... turn all those cockies into bunny farmers, and that would add .........

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..................... White Ram and a fifth wheeler to go freecamping with his new friend Cappy.

The biggest problem is that would leave no one to shoot the rabbits, and that .........................

..... would leave the 2,000 seat canteen a bit short of tucker, which could only ...........

PS ... It is a dry canteen too, as the community at DG are all required to join the DG Sect, which worships a large statue of the blessed CT in a jump suit with epaulettes, while wringing the neck of a giant bunny (think of those big statues of Sadam, but more grotesque).

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........a footpath, swimming hole nd part time rabbit fumigator who will also ................

........ quote on removing all infrastructure from Tullamarine, Essendon and Moorabbin, transporting to DG and rebuilding there (but the DG Scope of Works documents, as seen exclusively by Cappy, also requires that the Qantas HQ be relocated, along with all engine testing facilities).

The Scope documents also include for a high-rise precinct (15 stories limit but they'll give you more if you give CT a sling) and a new 5000 residence housing estate in DG, as all workers are required to live adjacent under a Kibbutz type social structure, and to all have a DG tattoo around their left nipple.

The CT has forward sold his joint for 150 times its present worth (what a CT) and is buying a ..........

The Rat went back and back and back, looking for the last set of dots with which to link into the NES, and low-&-behold (LAB) it is his own post way back there, so no point in trying to add anything until one of the others do.

Although El Ratto does note that the CT9000 appears to have taken up a position as the head of the DG Promotional and Apologistic Committee NTTIAWWT (the DGP&AC-NTTIAWWT), as well as being the Mayor, Chief Pilot & Rabbit Controller.

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[We apologise for Cappy failing to do his research before writing about the wonderful town of DG, one of the most desirable tourist destinations in Victoria, COVID FREE, and only 10,000 rabbits]

But with 1,500 residents in ICU from Mixo-19.

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......distracting and he wandered into the local sawmill where the sound of the saw reminded him of Mavis's singing in the RSL Club on nights where the artists didn't show, and he shuddered and started to run blindly, but tripped over a rabbit and fell face down on a dog turd on the footpath. "......................................

...... "Welcome to Darraweit Guim" said the Mayor (who was also the CT that posts in the NES (occasionally)) "As this is a typical Saturday night in downtown DG, when the .......... 

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Now it might seem hard to understand that a few ladies could be described as a weapon, but the sight of bull staggering down Darraweit Em Street wouold remove all doubt. He was obviously incapable of harming anyone any more; even the rabbits weren't getting out of the way.

 

bull hobbled blindly on, heading for the DG airport, the incredible pain ......

........ and chafing were too ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

..................weapons a...........

.......bandoned by a major power as part of their leaving DG after 20 long years of ........

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....................an item, not that he would necessarily welcome the prospect of ........................

..... a clash of ......