Captain

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"BANGGGGGGGG!!! .........

........ Madge did it again, just for old time's sake (but after the young girls had gone. (Ratso assumes that they were young girls as they were described as tittering and not saggering (Mavisref)).

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

DG Catholic Girls College and fiftees girls were standing there satring at him and tittering.

It is also unclear if these DGCGC girls were from the "fifties" (Turboref) or were fifteen y.o.a. (possiblepaedoref) or if there were "one score less 5" of them that were satring at him.

But nevertheless, NES readers will be transfixed by this aspect of the story and will be very pleased to see that one of our stars of the NES, our beloved bull, has been banged again to within an inch of his life, by such a big Banggggggggg, and this meant that Mavis, bull and the young girls were ...........

..... yaw .......

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....purple was the colour of the Bone Stonefishes, the local footy team in bone, where tey painted the main pub purple, and thye RSL bar purple, and the taxi purple, and the cop car purple (although that had to be repainted after a Commissioner from the South came up and blew his stack. So the 9 hp Ronaldson Tippett was ordered, and arrived on The Princess in Devonport. bull sensed he might have made a mistake when he noticed the Princess riding low at the stern, and sure enough......................

..... he was right (and as a result he was also XXXXed) but that never stopped bull from plowing ahead with his .......

PS - Further to Turb's explanation about stone fish, purple is also the colour that your leg goes after you step on one, and just before they amputate it. (Another vital fact brought to you by Qld Tourism .... Beautiful one day, highly venomous the next).

SITE ANNOUNCEMENT AND COMMENDATION - THE OWNER, ADMINISTRATORS AND MODERATORS OF WRECK FLYING WISH TO THANK AND ACKNOWLEDGE OUR BELOVED CAPTAIN FOR HIS POST, JUST 7 BEFORE THIS ONE, WHERE HE MADE NUMEROUS AVREFS IN HIS USUAL UNDERSTATED YET CLASSY MANNER. IN DOING SO HE MAINTAINED THE TONE, THE CHARTER AND THE "VIBE" OF THIS SITE, FOR WHICH WE THANK AND ADMIRE HIM.

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy smile at bull, who realised too late he'd been .....

..... sucked into the never ending vortex of always needing more power.

bull sent off emails to 15 engine manufacturers requesting torque & power diagrams and after he received the countless documents he immediately threw them in the bin, because he liked the purple one, even though that was only rated at 9 hp. ("It'll take more than 9 hp to just sew that fabric" commented Turdy)

bull's love of purple is without peer (or punctuation) because .......

..... and had no option but to blame the SAAA, Donald Trump, Dan Andrews & Walt Disney, but the bright spot was that bull had ......

...... and there you have it, Dear Readers, bull has exposed the folly of 600 kgs, CAEs, fibreglass, fuel injection, instruments, shoes, starter motors and a heap of other nonsense.

This is why the AUF will always remain the preeminent aviation organization world wide, so please be upstanding, face to the east, place your hand on your heart, and sing after me to the tune of Proud Mary .... "RAG AND TUBE FOREVER, WE LOVE TUBES AND RAG, RAG AND TUBE FOREVERMORE". 

But there was just one small hitch, which was exposed (Turboref) when ......

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........perfect sense because Cappy had started walking into boutiques - anywhere there was a mirror to look at his profile and make sure there was a hair out of place, and shock the blue rinse set at Restaurants when, as soon as the wine was poured he would gargle some loudly and then with a whhhhhhsssssttttttttttt! shoot it into the nearest planter, which .......

......... really xxxxed off the members of the Amalgamated Planter's Union.

The APU were a breakaway from the ACXNT (tribute to Barry Humphries. Les Patterson and their assigns) and were the most militant arm of the ...........

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy's starting to look like a journalist and next we'll be seeing .........

....... him working as a Producer on 4 Corners & as Executive Producer for the 7.30 Report and then as a panelist on Q & A.

This news made ..........

15 hours ago, onetrack said:

because OT was very familiar with all this armament, as it wasn't widely known he was a Vietnam War hero, credited with saving an entire Australian infantry company from annihilation, in an NVA battalion ambush.

And all Wreck Flyers join with me in thanking OT for his selfless service .......... and he still has the rash.

15 hours ago, onetrack said:

OT in his Chamberlain

15 hours ago, onetrack said:

the exhaust note of a Perkins diesel doing 3100RPM bouncing on the governor stops

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

crank the Chamberlain

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

where the International Super AWD9 had a decompression lever

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

the Chamberlain's Perkins engine designed for England's barns

And with that the numbers of members of Wreck Flying trebled, with the extras coming from a flood of members moving over from Wreck Tractors (tracref).

bull, who had always been a big fan of the Perkins Mk 7 governor, looked up the numerous Tractor workshop manuals that he had a collected (he has the world's biggest collection that are the subject of a new 1000 sq. m museum (complete with 20 dioramas & laser displays etc) that he had built beside his marina at Triabunna).

That Tractor Workshop Manual Museum (known locally as the TWMM), is expected to be the major tourist attraction and employer on the east coast (Port Arthur are very worried that nobody will ever travel that far south again) and given the foreshadowed prosperity to be generated from this venture, rates for casual employees thruout Tasmania are already above $50/hr & still rising, which has caused the price of a small cup of coffee to rise to $19.50 and  ............

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

A few decades later IH were going to take them to court for failing to pay Registered Design fees on the ISAS name so they had to change it to ISIS and .........

....... the court case hinged on IH's pre-Civil War 1833 policy on allowing "Foreign Orders" to be fabricated in Dozer production plants. (Some Afghan wag of a boke commented "The Yanks have only had 1 CW whereas we have had about 60 since 1833")

"You can't get more foreign that those blokes" said Mahatma, who was as foreign as they come and still thought that the workforces at IH were way too much like sand ........

40 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

quickly lost appetite for the fight and turned for home, but, at an ideal place for an ambush, Schitt Creek, India, they turned and ..........

........ commenced to dig in an IED (bull prefers IUDs but that is another story), plus a lanky fellow with his hair up in a top-knot-bun shouldered an early model black-powder RPG and let fly back towards Col. Jimmy's position ........... and history was made on that day, as that lanky chap with the top-knot-bun was the first to be described as a Tallybun by Jimmy's Target Spotter, and the name has morphed into the over-helicoptered group that we know today (respects to all terrorists past & present).

"The derivation of the ISIS name is much more interesting" said Turbo, (who always tries to come up with a better story so that he is the center of attention and crack onto any stray ladies) "As what happened there was that ............

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......and they all knew the brand of gin that was required. "Better bring a compass" said Two tracks "because we aren't going to get much guidance out fo him once he slips into it." and they all ...........

...... thought with reverence about OT's uncle BackTrack who was lost under very sad circumstances during the latter days of WW2 when he was a bomb aimer on a Lancaster on a very dangerous raid over Berlin.

As the Lancaster (avref), with its brave crew, approached the target the pilot (avref) handed over control of the aircraft (avref) to the bomb-aimer who then gave instructions to the Captain and 1st Officer.

"Left a bit" he said while dodging heavy flack as they approached the target and he could see the flares that had been dropped by the Pathfinders.

"OK, we are going well, but right a little please" he added & the Captain obeyed.

"Just a little further and a touch more to starboard please" said BackTrack.

Then he added "Oh, hang on" as he peered thru the bombsight "Back a bit".

And that is how BackTrack, his aircraft and his crewmates were lost, as they were somewhere between Berlin and Rome with a full load and he didn't have a clue where he was.

The gin flowed for most of the night and this led to a terrible outcome where ......

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......clamp-nipple type grease gun for the tour trailers which have to go over some very rough ground.

Also ample drink bottles and sunscreen, and ............

..... a suitable welder with 100 kgs of wire and 3 gas cylinders (essential tool kit for Turbo's trailers), all usable for HT ..........

11 hours ago, Captain said:

best place to get your cesium, because I am aware from reports from Evinrude that Turdo has been seizing'em for years,

ADMIN - WE FEEL COMPELLED TO COMMENT THAT WE ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED AT THE LACK OF APPRECIATION SHOWN BY NES'ERS AT THE SKIPPER'S SOMEWHAT CLEVER, IF NOT BRILLIANT, PLAY ON WORDS TO CONNECT "CESIUM" AND "SEIZING'EM" IN A HIGHLY ENTERTAINING YET RELEVANT CONTRIBUTION. WHAT THE F DOES IT TAKE FOR YOU BLOKES AND BLOKETTES TO PUSH THE LIKE BUTTON ON THAT POST? I'M STILL STUCK IN GLENELG BUT EVEN GIVEN THE LIMITED SENSE OF HUMOR OF SA'LIANS, I CAN SEE THE MERIT IN THE SKIPPER'S FINE WORK.

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....up for the Survivor course being run on the Island. As part of their Survivor training, they need to be able to wrestle all the men into submission and hog-tie them, and of course, they'll also need......

........ some nipple clamps and a ..........

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Now she was helping him get tracky over the line for another $50 mil, this time for a new resort on Skeleton Cove which..... 

...... Anna planned to use to house footballer's wives during their 2 weeks of hotel quarantine, but with a twist.

At the SK pub, they would quaranteen wives from all football codes at the same time (even the minor codes of Soccer and Hacky Sack), plus they will chuck in a few entitled blonde cricketer's trophy missus's), then Anna plans to secretly film the buildup of sexual & other tensions by introducing bull and Turbo as the resident Toy Boyz after all those wives have been deprived for an extended 4 weeks of quarantine.

(The CT read this post & quickly prepared to send off his Application to attend)

"It won't be pretty but will make great tele" said Anna "As these girls will make ISIS-K look like boy scouts when they ........ 

..... in handcuffs and a mask, as she was having trouble getting a local bloke because they had all been locked out south of Tweed Heads, plus she was looking a bit rugged.

"Geeez Tazia" said Tim Tom "This is harder than trying to get across the DMZ".

"Yes it was, so thanks for that" said Anna, having a quick durry before her next press conference, and as they had a final cuddle she added "And let me give you a tip, that Turbine Minerals is the most experienced & best place to get your cesium, because I am aware from reports from Evinrude that Turdo has been seizing'em for years, when he .....

15 minutes ago, bull said:

A Monument to Tim Tom Track after the opening of the railways in 1880. And the latest business meeting between Tim Tom Track and his distant relative  Kim On Rails the 3 rd and they decided to...........

......... leave their jackets on during the fancy lunch, as there was no CoaTrack in the room .... and once that was decided they could not Back-Track either.

8 minutes ago, bull said:

.Tim Tom after arriving,,, after all the ladies did not like his original name and he became despondent . With his head in his hands he cried my name is NOT....

...... Tam,  although I do like to have coffee sucked through my ............

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

"As a matter of interest, it was only this morning I received a call from Kim Jong-un. It seems his friendship with Donald has cooled, and he wants some assistance from me to ensure an upsurge in income for North Korea! He's seen how I operate, and he loves the way I can turn a bad situation into a money-spinner! He wants to know how he can..........

......... also stop those trucks that I sold him from cracking as they come over the Mt Paektu access road, but that is another story, as you always have to expect 1 unreasonably disgruntled client in every 10,000 (a standard Turbine Industries obfuscation when there are complaints).

This note from Turdboy triggered a faded memory in Onesie that there was a distant bloodline of the Track family who emigrated to Nth Korea from Southern Cross in the 1880's ...... and with a simple internet search he connected his branch of the Tracks to Tim Tong Track, who had developed & established Nth Korea as the regional powerhouse that it is today (except that they don't have their own powerhouse) and it was evident that he had changed his name to ...........

25 minutes ago, bull said:

Turbines mine workers lining up for smoko ,,,,looks a bit suss too me ,and these planes do not look like flyin flyout aircraft

.......... "Don't you, you, you worry about that" said Turbo in an accent that is a mix between Jo B-P and Clive P "As I have been assured by my mate Xi that they will bugger off just like Joe did from Afghanistan and they will leave us with all of this free gear."

"I'd rather not be called a Mogul as that sounds a bit non-Aussie & non-inclusive, so just call me a Mining Magnate" said Turbo.

"you are more of a magnet" responded bull "as you sure do attract a lot of dick-h..........

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

(DEAR NES READERS AND MODERATORS - OT is at a loss as to why his fine story of the Track family and their amazing ancestor FlightTrack, has been totally and completely ignored - in favour of trucks, trucking, ship-scrappers, camels, dying land explorers, and even photos of Caterpillar front end loaders!!

This derailing - sorry, make that de-planing - of the NES, is absolutely outrageous, and I demand that all those offenders (see above), who have misled this reputedly aviation-oriented story, into the travesty that it has become, be sent to the Tanami on the back of a 1930's Leyland truck, and be banned from further mention of anything other than aviation-related subjects!! - signed, Deeply Hurt OT).....

 

Let me tell you Onesie, all NESers feel your pain, as we have been laboring for years while overshadowed in our contributions by the behemoth that is Turbine Industries. 

For those readers who are unfamiliar with WA hierarchy, the Track family are virtual royalty over there and just about match the McGowans, with whom they often intermarry or just have an occasional fiddle.

However a little like Tasmania before bull inserted his new genes, the intermarrying has been a trifle overdone since the Tracks 1st arrived on the Batavia, when Johannes Track & Willem von McGowan were put ashore just south of Geraldton as punishment for their abhorrent part in the Abrolhos controversy, but as noted in Onesie's post, the Track family still feel very entitled, whereas the McGowans are a lot more contrite, apologetic, shy and easy going. 

Further research about the "FTW" that the drivers had carved into the tree indicates that this means "XXXX Turbo (the) WXXXXX".

The last word is unclear but it could be something like Winker.

Additional note - The truckies had obviously made friends and had become quite close to the Camels shown in that photo, as you would in such circumstances. Just say'n.

........ 55 truckies who are stuck on the Tanami Track with broken prime movers, dogs, and other types of trailers, and who spent all day in the scorching heat sticking pins in & kicking Turbo dolls (hence Turbo's constantly sore agates).

"I'm buggered is I know what the issue is" said Turbo "As those are Chinese and Russian ships and everyone knows what is the quality of HT steel from those joints."

bull, who still identifies with the transport workers, and who still has occasional double vision from the flogging that Cappy gave him, provided a vehement, spirited and blasphemous defense of the 55 drivers who are still alive (20 or so have perished due to Tubb's designs and are yet to be recovered) when bull said "..............

AN EXAMPLE OF ONE OF THE LESSER DAMAGED VEHICLES THAT HAS BEEN STUCK IN THE TANAMI SINCE 2018.

"What's wrong with that?" said Tubb "It's just a scratch".

TO ADD TO THE SCANDAL, A NUMBER OF THE ABANDONED AND FAILED TRUCKIES HAVE BEEN FORCED TO RECREATE "THE DIG TREE" AS THEY NEARED THE END IN 2020.

SEE THE BELOW PHOTO FOUND ON ONE OF THEIR PHONES.