Captain
-
Posts
11,438 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
36
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Store
Aircraft
Resources
Tutorials
Articles
Classifieds
Movies
Books
Community Map
Quizzes
Videos Directory
Everything posted by Captain
-
Just 13 pages to go to reach 1000, Turdy. We can make it, even if everyone else has buggered off.
-
.... who had his hand out for another $Au 500 million because his islands were sinking (particularly after the BOM changed the height datum in the Pacific). "No way Hose-A, or whatever is your moniker" said Pauline "I'm here to look after Aussies and Aussies alone, and I don't give a rats if you go with one of Xi's Bracers and Tracks Initiatives, like Mextoria nearly did." "But missus, I've brought you a Prezzy" said the Tuvalu Prez. "I don't take gifts" said Pauline, setting new Parliamentary standards, and she .....
-
...... which elicited the same response from the Secretary that "The response to such a question is beyond my pay grade, plus it is time for lunch, and the Canberra Floriade is on so we get a few days off, so can I take that on notice and I'll get back to you, Red." Pauline spat chips on hearing that, before she ......
-
BREAKING NEWS - NES AND WRECK FLYING EXCLUSIVE - Turbo has volunteered, and been accepted by Pauline, to be the One Nation Whip ....................... and also the Orange Padded Handcuffs, plus the Radical Right Wing Militia Spinning Bondage Wheel.
-
..... decided to check the overall election results. Sure enough she had won them all and there were no members sitting on her side, or in the opposition benches. "Beauty" she said "I can wear my burqa in every day if I want to". But then the Speaker's position came into question, so Pauline took that role too, as well as every Cabinet Minister, so the legislation flowed, Pauline pocketed a couple of million a year, so could buy a bigger farm to grow potatoes and she then prepared a takeover offer for Mackas, to be called Hannas & run by Tommy Robinson, after which she would ......
-
.... had just had his hair dyed red and lodged a Parliamentary Deed Poll (PDP) to change his name to Bill, and bought a Chip Shop + a SR22 Cirrus. Pauline was really P'dO as she thought that there were enough Rangas & Carrot Tops, and she didn't want anyone stealing her signature ID. PH, the PM, called a meeting of her Cabinet and was surprised that ......
-
Dear NESers. I have received an application to join the NES from some bloke with the initials of BC, who says that he knows everything about Australian Aviation and that he has a sacred duty to criticize long term members of Wreck Flying, while at the same time having one of the best senses of humour in the southern hemisphere. Please advise your thoughts on his admission into the inner sanctum of this Tome. Regards Moderator 13/Crappy
-
..... to make sure that it never happens again, the Postie Union (the PMGU) combined with all of the various Gens plus the LMBTQ crowd and the Iranian IRCG to form a powerful lobby group that became known as "Generation Imperial and Greek Alphabet" - the formidable GIAGA, which includes their AK47 and AKM subgroups. As a result, bantams were banned and used to make the "tam" components in Tim Tams, the TCF sales of Cat Bile went stratospheric, Tim Tams were boycotted by the RSPCA and everyone became sick of the use of initials, or acronyms, or corny jokes needing bold lettering. The Full Form & No Initials or Acronyms Naming Rights Bill (TFFANIOANRB) was drafted for Parliamentary Review (PR) and the result (R) was ......
-
.... after all of his copiers were supplied with random CP spots and a mystery commemorative feather in the ink container. The General Public loved the uniqueness, as no two were the same, and the prize bantam from the shed was used as a ......
-
..... using the C word, so was banned by Facebook, the Murdock press and even Eeeean chucked him off Wreck Flying, because he had bought a barn-find Drifter with the proceeds of his 1st sale. That sale was to the Gumm-ment, as they always take the lowest price and the Charlie Office Machine Company (COMC) was borne, as was their corporate aircraft (once the chook poo was removed), and .......
-
Apologies dear readers, but I have just reread Bruce Pascoe's book Dark Emu and it appears that Charlie at Xerox & his brother at Brother actually duplicated an idea 1st hatched by a bloke in Arnhem Land named Uncle Kopiere. A suitably gynormous claim is being hatched as he speak (or write).
-
it is little known that it was the Korean entrepreneur Larry Grant who 1st came up with the idea of the flat screen TV, and named his company Samsung after his operatic mate Sam.
-
.... copier that was initially pioneered by Charlie Xerox, just before Charlie's brother came out with the competing self named brand of .....
-
..... hence the name in Engrish.
-
... done anything wrong. Not many people know that Harry had been under the gun (sword) since Samurai times, and sometimes Harry even needed to be Carried after he slit his .....
-
... called on to commit Harry ......
-
.... at the leady. "Rets have a few more dishes at this excerrent Japanese Lestaulant at the Lissole" suggested the Ambassador "And isn't it gleat that Aussies are prepared to integlate you as a member of this triffic organisation, and call you "Mate", where ......
-
Calling Onetrack and bull! ...... Are you OK? Turbulence (avref) and I miss you + we are getting sick of just us.
-
..... said that the Mayor had actually died of old age, but rather than be slightly morose, he would much prefer to speak about how creative Japanese grandmas can be on a 1st date. "No wuckers" said Nobu "Let's build a spreadsheet and I'll fill in (Freudian slip) what the Cowla grannys can do and you fill in what the old girls are capable of at home, but let me warn you, Mr Ambassador, that once compared and rated, you might want to rook at moving the Embassy out here and partaking of the bounteous.....
-
.... him when he was down, something Doubty leant from her training with the West Midlands Police. But just as Nobu went down, and Doubty was about to finish him off, the Japanese Ambassador rushed between them. "Prease don't hit him any more Cuntstable" he said "As we have just rearnt that Nob's time in Cowla, + his time constlained UG cooking for the Japanese lestaulant in the Cowla Gardens, prus his time stuck in OZ ever since, means that he has been fighting WWII for even ronger than Shoichi Yokoi who gave up in 1972 (a piddring effort I'm sure you will aglee), and now here is Nobu still an unlereased POW in OZ in 2026, so Nob's gunna be a helo when he gets home". "But I don't wanna go home" plotested Nobu, while surrounded & arm-in-arm with about 50 Cowla grandmas, many still with a glint in their eyes, so the Ambassador just .......
-
Most of our readers would know, so it will not be lost on them, that in Doubtfire's sights, OT's auriola looks uncannily similar to Tubb's freckle in the dim light of a Khyber evening, when I plugged him with my Three-O all those years ago. Ahhhh the memories .... or in Doubtfire's case, Ahhhhh the mammarys.
-
..... mammary papilla, which for some reason only found in the WA gene pool, his right one is much bigger than his left, so that is where Doubtfire concentrated her aim. In the meantime, Nobu was standing around like a spare AUF member in an NES story, and he thought that Doubty was ......
-
.... mind being Tased after using that to wake himself up after the erotic-asphyxiation techniques that had worked so well for him and which he had passed on to Michael Huchins. OT tore open his CAT T-shirt (exposing the chip insertion scar above his left clavicle) and Doubtfire aimed at his magnificent .....
-
..... act initially, as WA is owned by China too and he was just waiting for instructions of what to do, via the chip (electronic not potato) that had been planted in all WA citizens when they had their indoctrination course and chip fitting, then their memories erased (like Men-In-Black, but in WA they are Men-In-Ochre). "Protect the Prez" was the message that came via the chip, and OT moved like a combination of Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis & Sylvester Stylone (back then in their primes, not now), and stood erect (although it has been a while) between Doubty and Xi, ready to .....
-
..... she noted that the Chinese navy had recently circumcised Australia, but he was not, so she took out her trusty 1st Nations oyster shell, complete with certificate of authenticity and tiny dot painting, she lit a gumleaf and welcomed Xi to OZ, then flashed the oyster shell and said "Drop 'em Xi, old mate, and by the power vested in me by the NSW Walloper's Association I'm about to take a sample of your ......
