Captain

.......... and apart from the fact that "Eminent Queenslander" may be an oxymoron, there is also little doubt that when the "Eminent Queenslander" is pole dancing it may cause an imminent EFATO or FATO in any of the non-eminent Queenslanders that may be watching.

""Eminent Queenslander" may not be an oxymoron" said Brackish "But may just be a moron who is a waste of oxygen".

"Don't worry about taste, mate" replied St Madge of the blessed Any-opportunity-that-he-can-get, "When there is a FATO or even an EFATO to be had, I'll be quicker than a seagull on a chip or a .......

........If FATO = "X", then what "E" FATO?The Caboolture Oracle, who was known for his boutique shop which sold swim suits replied: "I DUN O"

 

This was written up in the press as one of the most insightful explanations of EFATO in the history of aviation, and......

.... then overturned in a Supreme Court action when the Court accepted that this explanation was just the Oracle defending another Bundaberg based Queensland corporation after he had seen one fly over a couple of years before.

The court action wasn't helped when the Oracle continually chanted "Queenslander" while giving his evidence, then claimed not to know what was a Thru-bolt, or a stretched valve or a nose-wheel.

The Bone based judge was very critical and as part of his closing remarks said "I thunk you was supposed to be an Oracle, but then I found that you are a mate of Madge's, a crony of Steve's and a buddy of Miles-&-Miles, which ................

My Aunt understands that St Madge of the blessed Axe hasn't cracked a FATO, either real or internet based, for months.

...will only fail every 400 hours becos you guys dont unnerstand that they are tuned for FnQ, not Vic or SA (NTTIAWWT) and dont run em properleyYouse guys have to learn to......

....... live with the fact that you are going to have to crack an EFATO (NTTIAWWT) some time soon.

"What's the difference between a real FATO and an internet based "E" FATO asked Mavis, who considered herself to be a connoisseur of FATOs.

Ah-BarbyDoll thought about that for a while, consulted the well known Caboolture Oracle who rang their head office and asked .....................

....... He squinted his eyes and...............

.......... rolled (AvRef) onto one cheek, getting ready to ..........

(The famed aviation chef as mentioned by Bobbb Llewwellyyn in his post # 9228 was from Inner Mongolia and his name was Executive Chef Qan Tas, ably assisted by his countrymen Bo Ac, El Al and ...............)

.....admire Ratso's pure white Mink Coat while they waited for Madge to arrive.Turbo suggested that bare hairy legs and Nike shoes didn't fit all that well with a Mink coat, especially as this was Tarnsville and Rat was sweating profusely exuding a body odour that would have knocked out a Coal Miner, and Ratso turned a shade of pink and................

..... apologised for offending everyone."

"youze all need a rev (AvRef)" said blank page "for not using capitals and for not mentioning that the sweets at the Mont Perrier $1000 per plate knees-up comprised a compote of étoile de mer covered with a jus of medusa which can only be eaten while wearing collants en votre tête."

At this point the Mont Perrier Bœuf & Burgundy committee tittered behind their hands and immediately called St Madge of the Blessed Mont Perrier Promotions Committee into the room to ............

had that fancy French dinning night at the Bone Rissla! and presented us with "Un délicieux petit filet de sautés Taipan dans la canne crapaud lait" I didn't understand a bit of it except the crapaud bit.....which I assumed was French for crapped off cause there was no..........

.... cane toad jus, and he couldn't hit the Mud-Crabs further than the ladies tee.

"I've been to dinner at the $1000/plate Mont Perrier Aero Club and I recall that "Un délicieux petit filet de sautés Taipan dans la canne crapaud lait" was one of their signature dishes, as prepared by Chef Claud, Maitre D Scratched and Waitress ...................

Has anybody received reliable information in recent days that there are suggestions circulating within the Business Aviation community that a new recreational aviation organisation should be formed & commenced so as to obtain a new AOC from CASA ........

The scuttlebutt that I hear is that this push is being at-least partly run by an ex-RAA Board Member whose family have traditionally been very close with the family of one of the leading players in the recreational sandbox at the CASA.

IF, repeat IF, there is any substance to that scuttlebutt then it is a disgrace and may even possibly be part of an attempt to destabilise the existing organisation.

Also IF, repeat IF, there is any substance to that scuttlebutt, this appears to be part of an ongoing cesspit underbelly of self-serving recreational aviation politics that continues to spill over from the bad old days prior to and around the EGM early last year.

Regards Geoff

".........cane toads are boiling for breakfast"and the mud crabs are taking the bait

 

"why do I fly down to Canberra

 

"to sit there all day on my date"

At this point St Madge realised where he was getting it wrong.

"Oh bugger (NTTIAWWT)" he said "I am supposed to cook the Muddies and hit the Cane Toads with a 2 iron. No wonder I have broken so many golf clubs and my fricassee of Cane Toad tastes like one of Andy's used hats."

"Woweeeee" commeneted bull-from-bone "And he used to call their claws a delicacy too, then whinge about there not being much meat in there, so if he's getting that ars*-about-face, what about when he .............

...Boxers, they're blinding". "But... the Lightwing isn't powered by a Boxer!" said some precocious kid. "No, look you!" said some short-**** Welsh figure. "Lightwings used to be 2-stroke, the ONLY engine choice for true Ultralighters!..." at which point, two plods grabbed him. "What's all this...then?" asked one, checking his policing manual. "You a superlighter, eh? TOTAL FIRE BAN, nyahaha..." as they dragged him away. "STOP RIGHT THERE!" said Madge in a voice of thinder, followed by a shriek as he stepped into space...

.......... but his shriek quickly subsided when 2 angels and a little cherub type guy with tatts guided him gently to the ground with their wings a-flapping (AvRef) to the sounds of a couple of heralds blowing their horns and a bloke playing a big organ, who, after they finished this "St Madge of the Holy Resu-Erection Deity Tribute Concert" gig (the same music also plays when he enters each RAA Board Meeting ........... where St Madge was going to use the theme from Rocky for his grand entrances but then thought that the Hallelujah Chorus backed by the Angel and Cherub quintet was better for his image & more suitably understated for Board Meetings), broke into that well know f'n Q trad-jazz number "Oh when the ...........

RAUF-OZ LESSON FOR ALL WHO ARE INTERESTED AND FOR THOSE WITH A BFR COMING UP.

Educator Rat has received numerous enquiries from RAuf-Oz members and forum contributors about his post # 9204 and he asks all readers to look at it again now.

He has been overrun by questions about the meaning of the stones around the windsock at Wagga International as shown in the photo in post # 9204.

This just reflects the poor training that many of you have received, as anyone who is interested would know that those rocks are arranged in the form of an international aviationsignal, and given the Jab bashing that is going on in another thread, he advise that the rocks shown in #9204 show the international signal that Jabiru Gliding may be being undertaken at this strip.

....belly button, where it broke off that day when I was trying to clean the lint out, but got startled by Madge swooping over in his F-35 Lightwing, which made me.....

......... very very nervous, same like all of those up in F'n Q who see Madge coming in his heliview (NTTIAWWT), then they have the little kiddies shield their eyes because they can sometimes see up the leg of Madge's shorts through the heliview panels (it is a hell of a view) and the f'n Q adults all say "Her comes f'n Madge again, so watch out for his f'n .............

Well said buddy.I have seen some really questionable operations in all gambits on both sides of the fence. In RAA we should strive to achieve top notch thorough training, of course what happens after that is entirely up to the individual involved.

I seem to recall a discussion here or elsewhere about 18 - 24 months or maybe more ago which indicated that the ATSB had offered RA-Aus to investigate their accidents, but this was rejected by the then GM and/or the Board.

Was that an urban myth or am I mistaken? Do you or anyone else remember anything about that?

Regards Geoff

"None of your bling" replied Turbo, "Last time I caught it I had to be operated on for ........-

......... blingking appendicitis and to remove part of that Bunny's carrot out of my ...........

My Aunt wants to make it quite clear that El Ratsack is master of his domain and that tearing up a few bed-sheets is within his power and right, although Tink's call to Mrs Ratty may well result in her also 'tearing him a new one' with one of her size 9's.

.....that his "milkshakebringsalltheboystotheyard", and sure enough, none less than Byron and Madge had turned up to see him shake his.....

....... rhythm stick, which ..........

THE WRECK FLYING NES CONTRIBUTORS DANCING AROUND THE WINDSOCK AT WAGGA INTERNATIONAL.

TurdBoy is in the foreground and from left to right are:

AhPox, Eeeeen, Salty, AndySh@, the 12 Incher, bull-from-boner, Planey, the VyzionOfLoveliness, The Dazzler38, Bob LLLewelllynnn, and a couple of other ring-ins & occasional contributors who are behind Turbs.

The cameraman is standing on the bonnet of Tink's Corvette.

Note the 12 Incher's necessary long shorts and AhLow's see-thru white dress (so we are lucky that it didn't rain that day .... erky perky) and Eeeen apparently enjoyed his time in drag (he originally thought he was coming to the Wagga International Dragway but threw himself into the dancing with gusto, however without undies).

Meanwhile, it looks like the Ghost Dog's have been "at it" and now pups are starting to show up ...............

.....taking into account that The Rat's pet dish licker was also inclined to lick......

...... that bit that everybody dreams about in private (NTTIAWWT), but are unwilling to discuss in polite company, except for ..............

Turbo returned the favour by giving AhPox an "optimistic", and asked how Turb's ..........

...... undies were ever supposed to be cleaned (also an AvRef after anyone flys with AhLow), without ............

Yet the Ghost Dog continued his (or her - NTTIAWWT) transformation ..................................

EXPOSE OF THE MODERATTI MAGNIFICENTI

Investigator Ratty is pleased to be able to post the below photo, taken by a hidden camera the last time that AhLox moderated Turdbro.

"My post wasn't all that obnoxious" said TurdBoy "But may have also included an "unhelpful" icon, and the next minute AhPox turned up at my joint with his special moderation persuasion tool (see photo below)"

AhLow is on the left and Turbs is the bloke lighting the durry.

"I agree that it does appear a bit harsh" commented Eeeen "But TurbBro is a serial offender and needed some material encouragement."

"The offending post was changed voluntarily by Turdy" reported AhPox as he clicked on the safety and released the hammer.

Year & $(employee exp + annual leave accrual). Note year 2007 = 2006/07 financial year

 

2007 $508,211

 

2008 $508,729

 

2009 $651,410

 

2010 $868,396

 

2011 $840,690

 

2012 $1,075,708

 

2013 $1,089,325 increase from 2007 = 2.14 times

 

 

 

Key Personnel - defined as

 

"Any person(s) having authority and responsibility for planning, directing and controlling the activities of the association"

 

2008 $212,458

 

2009 $222,872

 

2010 $399,694

 

2011 $379,887

 

2012 $470,429

To further summarise your figures, the Employee costs more than doubled between 2008 and 2012, the period when the organisation was at its most dysfunctional and it is my understanding that there were no productivity or related gains negotiated in return for those wage hikes.

And we all know who was in charge at Board and Office levels during that period.

It is the easiest decision in the world to give wage rises when it is not your own money and you are a poor manager, because everyone is a happy bunny after such rises, until the shareholders find out (remember the cone of secrecy that applied during those dark days? ........ well now you know one of the reasons) and the costs come to bite down the track .......... and by that time most managers or Executive members are gone.

However there is another side to this equation and that is that for a NFP organisation, if costs rise to this extent, then unless you intend to run down your reserves, income usually needs to rise or be sourced elsewhere to cover it and the same poor management only seems to have given rises internally but didn't have the strength, foresight, wisdom, willingness or knowledge to also manage income.

Also please bear in mind that the first really expansive financial reports & summations have only come after Jim Tatlock took up the Treasurer's role. Compare Jim's report to those provided in the past by Reid or Caban. Geeez, in retrospect, we should have jumped on those blokes much earlier than the EGM last year.

In response to the comments of others, I don't condemn past Boards for accumulating reserves, but like many of you, I do condemn them for a complete lack of vision with regard to computerisation of RA-Aus's systems. I have mentioned it in another thread, but I was staggered when I went out the back of the Canberra office and saw a paper system for all aircraft rego's, member certification and other administration functions in a compactus file that we got rid of from our company in the early 1980's .......... but also with numerous manila type folders lying around apparently randomly outside the compactus. That gives you a good indication of where the RA-Aus's thinking was back in 2012/13. A good 30 years behind the times. And the RA-Aus membership is still paying that price.

Having been part of the selection panel for the last GM, I can also say that the GM's remuneration at that time was not sufficient to attract & retain a top candidate. We were fortunate to get Mark Clayton partly because he had a passion for what RA-Aus does. You may attract a good candidate through their passion for recreational flying, but you have to pay them well to keep them once they see the depth of the carry-over issues with which they are faced. When Mark came on board, I don't think there was one admin function in RA-Aus that was operating effectively or efficiently and the time taken for rego renewals was just the tip of that iceberg. How would any of you like to be GM of RA-Aus in a situation where a bloke (or blokes) at CASA is constantly sniping at you via audits and the like when that bloke knows where many of the bodies were buried, because he was in charge of the shovel for some of the burials, yet he made it all look like your fault. Sure RA-Aus had and has its problems, but I also believe that the way that CASA have handled all of this has been poor and possibly also unconscionable.

Regards Geoff

Rat, I thought you had let your membership lapse.

I did. But that does not mean that I don't retain an abiding interest in the wellbeing of the organisation (or ongoing strong support for those members who are contributing to the much improved Board).

I had set my sights on the RPL, mainly because of aircraft weight issues for my required use, but that has turned out to be another non-brilliant CASA concept that looks like it really adds little to the options that already existed.

May have to go back to RA-Aus cap (and stewed ant certificate) in hand.

And while commenting on matters RA-Aus, I wonder if you and others find it very interesting & coincidental that soon after RA-Aus stood up in a fully professional & business-like manner and approached (& perhaps challenged) CASA about their presently inequitable funding contribution, a petition comes to light administered by (a?) past and somewhat diminished Board Member(s) (who showed their depth of misunderstanding of the key RA-Aus's issues when questioned at the EGM) and given that some of these individuals are connected at the hip, I wonder whether someone at CASA might perhaps be into trying to destabilise the present RA-Aus Board.

And I further wonder whether such individuals, if they perhaps do exist, have ever manipulated RA-Aus outcomes in the past?

Just wondering as surely that couldn't be happening, could it?

I urge all members to check it out.

Have you heard any rumblings Col?

Regards Geoff

I blame the bulk of the projected loss on the wage rises that were given to staff by the dysfunctional Board and the previous GM, well before the EGM, and what we are seeing now is the flow-on effect in addition to, or partly caused by, the cost of being located in Canberra.

Would you care to comment on that Sue, from your review of the accounts?

Regards Geoff

.....my sisters had a difficult upbringing, having been trained in a Queensland convent, and if you compare them with..............

........ the mean quartile of the female population you will find that they are just ...........

Meanwhile, the GhostDog moved closer.

......... not to mention when Po dressed as WonderWoman (see candid snap below), a part most often played by Turbo at the BOB, when he was not cast as Hitler (see post # 9150).

Turbo loves that tiara with the star on it ........... and the yellow bondage rope .......... and the earrings.

While the GhostDog continued to circle them menacingly.

It was at that point that little Benny Tley stepped in to defend both Lak and Po, saying "........................

...Laktater, the little lurker from Lower Lavington lurched into leering distance and .........

.......... took a long look at Loxie, who laconically sidled over to Lak's sister, Po, and said ............

..... qualify for the GYFTS program (NTTIAWWT), who won't blab to some future Republican Commission and .....

...... the GhostDog continued to prowl with sinister intent............. or is it just a Jawa .......... or one of the Roadies from Neil Young's original production of Rust Never Sleeps ............. or ...........

A COUPLE OF JAWAS (BUT NOT THE BIKES).

NEIL'S ROADIES.