Captain

"hubba hubba! Cor, will you look at the bits on that one...", with a concussed smile that looked suspiciously like a leer. .........

........... and bugger me (NTTIAWWT) he was right when an 85 Learjet landed short on 09 and slewed to a halt beside the fire.

"Look at the bits on that one" he repeated and he was right again as that particular 85 was fitted with the recently released asymmetric nose-wheel and a pair of the new 411B Pratt & Whitneys.

Then out of the door stepped Whitney Houston and Charlie Pratt, who picked up the Thruster's empennage, reattached it with a couple of oversized rivets in the corroded old holes, ("Did someone call me?" yelled Nanna from the darkness behind the fire) then sidled over to the fire where Whitney discarded her top and said to Bob " Hey, boyo, you plank, noswaith dda, why don't you ................

Wow, the event has copped a real hammering on Ray Hadlee's talkback show today.

.......... was be-splattered, although Nanna thought that it was an improvement.

Nanna was a nubile young thing back in '62 and looked very much "up-for-it" like that Welsh sounding fellow did when he sat by the fire, west of the main strip at Temora, and said ..................

..... a copy of a Thruster landed long on 23.

It was a more physical version, known as a "Pounder", designed, owned and flown by Dick Pound of Olympics fame.

"I remember well when the Turdster got his name" said Dick "As the bull responsible for that fateful cow pat was particularly crook and left a deposit that was bigger than a Jab 230, before the Bange-it-Holme bandit hit it dead centre, after which he .......

"......hit the fence, hit a cow turd, hit a stick, hit a sheep, hit a house,or finally did get up above fence level and the wing dropped off, engine dropped out, prop came off, fuel tank dropped off, plastic chair collapsed, crapped themselves in fright, or................................."

....... a tyre-kicker came around and kicked the tyres, causing the empennage to drop off.

"What's an empennage?" asked Turdy, (who got his name when the Rubber Duck hit a particularly large cow pat while landing at the Henty Field Day back in 1962) "As we fair dinkum rag & tube fly-boys don't bugger around with French names, and why did they leave the "Blanca" off the "Casa" name?" he added.

"It was the Hawk Government what dun it?" responded that Welsh sounding bloke "When they .......

..."in fact" he said, I'd ditch the frigging Thruster and just put your hand out the win......................

...... Wine Bar's door to see if it is raining." for Turdy's lecture, which was soon to be picked up as an annual event at Monash (and televised live on Apac), was being held in the main street of Temola next to the excrusive 100 loom Japanese lestaulant where Aki, Nobu, Mitch and the rest of the boys had decided to tie one on.

And the noise was bedram.

"Will you guys prease cram up" yelled Turbs "As I can't here myself recture in here".

Then he reminisced to his audience about the good old days.

"Yadda yadda yadda 300 ft max, garbage garbage etc never over roads, clap, clap, clap no licences needed, mumble mumble mumble teach yourself to fly etc etc .............."

"Those were the days that we should get back to again" cried the Rag & Tube members "And forget about the fact that heaps of guys spiralled in when they .................

....... and made the valid point that after the free and repeated use of the disgraceful term "@#&*" , Eeen should ban himself for at least 5 days and appoint Ahlox as El Supremo, although Madge also warned Eeeen about never letting Loxy within 400 kms of Corrine.

Eeen, always being fair & balanced did give himself a week on the banned list, Ahlox set up an unauthorised site upgrade of 160 hours duration commencing on 9 am Friday morning, changed the ISP to some bloke and his wife in Turkmenistan who were cheaper, and altered the name of WreckFlying to .......

...fast food business, including the nasty business with the milkshake rollergirl and the scrofula. By this time the sun was rising, and only a sleeping Ben, dazed turbo, and Ben's self-heating flight attendants were left - everybody else was off at the food tent getting breakfast, except the few who had slipped into the clubhouse and...

........ were attending His Madge-esty's Sainthood indoctrination.

"I hearby dub you Saint Jayco of Temora" said the bloke from the Christian Church food tent, and with that he smote Madge with his big gold encrusted smoter.

"Geeez" said Madge, eh "I just cum down here from f'n Q to f'n NSW, eh, to attend the f'n RAA f'n Board Meeting and to give the Lightwing a run, eh, so I never dreamed that I'd be inducted as a St Kilda life-f'n-member."

Eeeen, who had known Madge for a while, and had banned him a couple of times in the process, for excessive use of the letters "e" and "h", rushed into the tent and yelled "Are you past the bit where everyone has to forever hold their piece?" At which point Eeeen grabbed his just in case & added. "And if not, I just want to say that ..............

......... "We are no longer called "Hosties" you dinosaur, we are now called "Flight Attendants"" responded Brice indignantly.

It was then that Turbo's embarrassment (and itch) reached a crescendo when he recalled the back seat of his "Vette" and the other liaison in the .............

........ "Just so that we are clear, old chap, and so that I know whether to continue with this story line from post #8919 , is the Cuban on which you had me sucking named Angelina or Fidel?"

Turbo blushed, remembering all of the other times he had been caught out in the NES (and in the BOB), thought long and hard before replying ................. and everyone fell asleep while waiting.

In the morning, Turdy was still sitting next to his fire-bucket with that same thoughtful yet blank look on his face, then the penny dropped.

"Can someone help me look for that penny please? Come on guys." he called plaintively.

The four Hosties put their uniforms back on and observed "..................

"that's NOT on the agenda, Ratty... now sit down, and shut up. Are we likely to get a visit from Mole...?" At which point Rat responded "look, it's the AGM, and you work for the members, i.e. ME! so don't tell me to..." "SHUT UP!" yelled Endo. "Your membership is NOT paid up!"; at which point he gloated smugly. Rattus turned puce, which looked strange under the fur, and spat out...

........ "Well this is de-ja-bloody-vu if ever there was one" he thunk "As the last bloke who said that was E. Paul Ette and look what has happened to him."

The NES's beloved Rodent limped broken heartedly back across the active runway without getting permission to cross it ("Stuff 'em" he said under his breath) to the fire and sat down next to Ben Tley and Isi Uzu under the wing of the G550. Yet he knew that he should have been sitting under the wing of a Thruster or an X-Air to show solidarity with the Rag & Tube warriors ............ but they don't have a bar, 4 Hosties and an inside dunny, so "Stuff them too" he said again under his breath and settled for the deprivations of the 550.

"Why so glum, chum?" asked Ben, sipping on his champers with a Hostie on each arm while wearing his smoking jacket, and ...............

Great Trailer Exy,

Makes me want to buy back my ASW28-18E.

.....the AGM where he composed himself, raised himself up on his hind legs, shook the dandruff off his mangy head, wiggled his whiskers, and asked: "............"

.......... "Who cut the cheese?".

Endo looked at him disappointedly from the top table and responded ".............

G'day Don,

I have to say that if I was making business decisions on this in Gov't I would look at the 10,000 RAA members as individuals indulging their passion and I would definitely make it user pays, particularly in the current budgetary climate.

And I would annualise & bump up private GA licence and aircraft rego fees too to a user pays break even basis.

I don't understand how either group could expect any degree of subsidisation.

Not helpful, I know, but I'd be interested in your thoughts.

Regards Geoff

"OW" said...

...... "Ow-about including me in the story again some time" yelled the Bandy 12 Incher who, because of rejection, had sabotaged Ratpimps little tented earner at Natfly (for which Ratty had paid $20 per square metre to the Natfly organisers ..... or alternatively they could have chosen to have $20's worth (10 hours) with one of the veiled Melbournistan lovelies).

"I considered that" replied Bandy "But it puts you off when the veil is a potato sack and you can hear TurdBro sucking in his breath and mumbling "I am not an animal .......... but .................

TURBO LOOKING ALL SEDUCTIVE IN HIS VEIL IN THE TENT BEFORE THE FIRE.

.......... tent set up well back from the BBQ & fire, complete with its little red light, soft music & velour wallpaper, with Turbo acting as the madam and a line-up of delicious lovelies comprising a Welsh sounding person (they are in particular demand), a Dandenong lovely in a flanno & safety boots, and a LockSchmitt wearing rather revealing lederhosen.

"I wonder why business is so quiet" asked Ratpimp "Is it just that Natfly is a bit subdued or could it be something else? .......... like my lovelies have been hit by the ugly fairy (NTTIAWWT)."

"Hold on there Latty" said Acki "We might be intelested in a gloup late as we hear that you have a Comfort-Schmitt and a couple of Melbournistan veiled lovelies who are ..........

If people are unable to understand what was in post 215, then it is no real surprise they do not understand what is happening to RAAus. How bad do things need to get before the penny will drop?

I question whether the average young person who is paying off a residence & breeding etc is RAA's main target audience.

I was heavily involved in motorsport and we had exactly the same issue. Young blokes loved it until they got married and most then couldn't afford to stay racing, however many came back again at around 40 - 45 if/when they had got on top of their finances.

Same issue applies for RAA, I reckon, unless that young person is flush or wants to fly basic lower cost aircraft, which they have the right and access to do if that is the way that they want to go during those house buying/child rearing years.

Regards Geoff

Mutha of a mover" said the square-looking truck. "Ooooh!" giggled Great Wall, who was dragging a very small piece of ferris wheel towards the dump, "it's One Big Mutha!". The rest of the descendants fell about laughing, when Peter Bilt said...

...... "I have been there when I went to India to ask permission to merge with Ma Rutti ("Tutti Fluiti I still want one" yelled Nobu from the back to entertain the other Japanese who were getting stuck into the Saki while mixing it with VB), or was it Ma Hindra? The Mutha is a river in western Maharashtra, India, which arises in the Western Ghats and flows eastward until it merges with the Mula River in the city of Pune."

"My fine big buck, Peter, is correct about that, not that we got out of the motel room for very long while he did his "arising" a lot too" responded Ma "And to think that after all that, here he is standing around the fire in good old Temora ("But I'd prefer Narromine" Ma said as an aside to AhLox) looking like a .............

Thanks for that Capt. It summed up well many of my thoughts and more.It is interesting that Jim stood up and presented us with some simple and easy to understand statistics and figures and then proceeded to give us one of the worst financial outcomes and predictions ever seen from RAAus. And yet when questions were asked for there were none. No angry response, just grim acceptance. He didn't sugar coat it and didn't have the answers, but gave us some plans for the future that they hoped might stem the flow. I think that is an object lesson in good governance and how to communicate well with members. It was in stark contrast to some of the stuff that has been dished out (or even not dished out) to us in the past. Tell us the truth, accept responsibility, plan for the future. Well done Jim!

I had the honour of being an Alternate for Jim last year and I can say that as well as being a good bloke, he is dedicated to doing a top job as Treasurer and on the Executive .... and all the time acting strictly in the best interests of the membership.

RA-Aus is lucky to still have him after the deplorable and unconscionable way he was treated by the then Executive when Jim first joined the Board.

RA-Aus has been subjected to terrible governance over several years that lead up to the shemozzle with the registrations and to last year's EGM ..... and some of the financial reports were incompetent or worse, because some took on the Treasury as a mechanism to get themselves onto the Executive to increase their power-base while others took it on as the short straw on the Board, but the result was that some of the reporting was woeful. Some couldn't even get the columns to add up and when some did get 2 & 2 to equal 4, when questioned they obviously didn't understand or have a "feel" for what was the true RAA situation.

When Don Ramsey was elected and saw the deplorable position & the exposure that directors had as a result, he pulled the pin and I don't blame him.

There was a period where some members of the Executive and Board simply did not have a clue and reps from almost all states were involved in that category.

They then resorted to secrecy to cover themselves and blindside the membership.

This position was also enhanced by the quality of the GM/CEO and that has improved out of sight with Mark in that chair.

All RAA members would do well to remember those days when we were told nothing and fed on bullsh*t and all must ensure that they keep in mind who were the 4 or 6 individuals who presided over that mess and contributed/promoted the culture of secrecy at Executive and Board level, as some are still there.

RAA now have a strong, competent Executive and a much improved Board so that they now know where RAA is at and can start to do something about it.

And they are open with the membership.

I commend the present Executive & GM to all RAA members.

Regards Geoff

Yes well worth the read. The new board and excutive have made a conscious decision that we should share all with the membership, so that they know exactly what I is that we face, and have to deal with as board members.This will no doubt lead to a decrease in the negative / incorrect posting, as the membership will have more accurate info on which to base their opinions...........Maj...........

Well done & well said.

Regards Geoff

....... just at that moment there was a deafening noise, and a heap of trucks rolled onto the active runway and headed for the BBQ.

"It must have been the exhaust welding discussion" Turbo said as he knows this truck caper like the back of his back.

The trucks stopped and the blue singlet brigade, who have recently been replaced by the fluro shirt brigade, jumped from their cabs and headed off into the mulga with Nanna and Mavis.

The trucks said g'day and introduced themselves.

There was Kam Az, Des Oto, Dong Feng, Isi Uzu, Peter Bilt and then a big Swedish bloke approached the fire.

"Who are you?" asked Des.

"I am a Vulva FH fitted with a D16G and I am also known as a ...............

Attached is a terrific summary from a visiting banana bender of what he witnessed at Natfly and what he drew from the various meetings on the current situation in RAA.

Well worth a read in my opinion:

Natfly 2014.pdf

Natfly 2014.pdf

Natfly 2014.pdf

...... it actually mattered not to Saint Salty (although he did insist on being called that from here on, however Ahlow being the Ahole that he is, always insisted on calling him Saint Brackish) because Saint Slightly Saline knew someone intimately (NTTIAWWT) who was higher up the periodic table than a Saint.

Not even the deities that are L4's or are CASA Inspectors could rate against His Holiness, our beloved Madgesty, who is a Board Member, an f'n Q'er of high regard eh?, a Lightwing owner, an Axe Manipulator eh?, but even despite that, an all around good bloke, who walked over to the BBQ in his squeaky shorts and said ................

........... With every steak sandwich that you buy from the Church group's stall at Natfry, you get a voucher in a draw (to be held on Monday and drawn by Endo) to be "saved", and if you also buy a can of soft-drink your get a discount on a sainthood, so just imagine the benefits if we hook up with them to also offer scotch and sponge cake."

This clever move was designed by Brine (who needs as much help as he can get) to make him a ...............

...........clevis (avref), where.................

....... it was held in place by an aircraft grade (AvRef) stainless steel split-pin that was inserted through a body piercing (NTTIAWWT) in his ............