Captain

........."I'm yours" written in their footsteps. He attempted to run, but slipped on the cake which was a giant sponge with a giant layer of fresh Freisian cream, and............

...... some icing that was a little bit above freeze'n.

However the various levels of Octas started to laugh when they noticed that Turbo still had 4 kgs (W&BRef) of the cake stuck down his ..............

.........attract us Octogenarians (women of Ratso's age) at all, saying he prefers............

......... blondes and brunettes rather than greys, blues or purples; .......... and all because of that horrendously hideous horrific day, back in Turbo's dim, dark, sinister, slimy past, when he ............

.....to the standard of the adoring fans in a clear case of coitus failus. Turbo wasn't prepared to ruin the coitus supremus reputation that his signature model had been built on, especially given that his own stash of chicks were starting to show a clear aversion to his magnetic......

........... field (which is where he keeps the sheep [all aligned North-South] that drink the townwater which got the MethOozer so over-excited).

"Well it's certainly not his magnetic personality" said a couple of Octogenarians who he picked up after a full contact Barn Dance at the Bange-Holme Grab-A-Granny B & S Ball "As he doesn't ............

......... the fact that he flies a Texan TC, which are an even hotter "Grab-A-Granny" device than a red Corvette, and where all experienced Granny's know full well that the "TC" stands for .................

.....has skin like the Birdsville track, is as dirty as the Kokoda Trail, has a gut like Ayers Rock, legs like a Jabiru, and an arxx like..............

....... a peach (NTTIAWWT) .......... crossed with the Kiama Blowhole. But his finest feature is his magnificent chest and 6-pack which reminds the bevy of beauties, who are always by his side (Salty is the Hugh Heffner of Dandenong), of .............

.......... added "I didn't know that Wodka was that strong. As you all know I have been an aficionado of Scotch for many years but can't really remember for how long. All the nongs down at the Dandy Nong boozer told me that Wodka is just like cordial and they also advised me that thru-bolts are no longer a significant issue, plus they said that Wodka is lighter than air so I can carry more on the way to Natfly without effecting my W&B (whatever that is). Who would-a thunk that the CASA Wanka in the video would rump check me like that when I landed at Tullamarine for a wiz at the end of the runway (###) before departing for another wiz-stop at Port Fairy on direct track to Tomorra for RatFry."

### - Brine had just landed on Tullamarine's new Runway 57 Right Grass, which he had created with his excellent landing after just 4 go-arounds.

"Brackish is a very close and great mate of mine" said Turbo "And I can attest that the video does indeed show Salty, as I took it with my JPhone. He just looks younger with his cap on and the lense has always been kind to him, but he ...............

WRECK-FLYING NOTICEBOARD ..... WRECK-FLYING NOTICEBOARD ..... WRECK-FLYING NOTICEBOARD ..... WRECK-FLYING NOTICEBOARD ..... WRECK-FLYING NOTICEBOARD

TurdBoy has destroyed another engine, but this time, and for once, it is not another outboard.

Think Victa or Masport.

That is about engine number 14 that has been the victim of the TurdCurse.

Now we return you to the NES and the happy Corgi.

...time that he had been threatened with the "REVENGE OF THE CORGIS"He knew that terriers were superb ratters and a thing to be feared, but Corgis were a whole different kettle of ratters.

 

Not even a Casa rump check invoked this much fear in him...and all he had done was..........

....... pretend he was a corgi and conducted his own rump check, which Ahlox thought was ................

.....Turbo had divulged little, after having ASIO battery clamps attached to his family jewells, and suggestions that it wouldn't cost much to send him to Iraq to be beheaded, even though there was a story to tell which included who the person was who piggybacked the Queen over the mudlfats to open the Cooktown museum, and who made the nicest lamingtons on the day, where..............

............ Her Madge looked Ratso in the eyes and a strange attraction was cemented during a moment of passion in the mangroves at the reception out back of the Cooktown Rissole.

"One is quite good at that" she said to the Rodent "As that is the best one that one has ever had" she whispered as she put her Tiara and Union Jack cottontails back on.

"My lips are sealed" said Ratsack "As if one wants an MBE for one, one never boasts or discusses the details of one's .............

Brother Andy (Turbo is hoping for secret or two) with his 40 watter, to show us how to light up the house. He'd been on The Inventors, he'd flogged it on those sorts of TV channels, and ...................

...... this caused Salty to call the Twelve Incher and say "Andy's been flogging it for years".

The 304.8 Millimeter-er considered that revelation with the fact that Andy was Board bound and replied "But ..........

......... "Aye has discovered purr-pet-ual motion (but not my previous hat-type motion), so tote that barge and lift that bale because aye is now a ...............

.......ble to officially call Turbo a potable water wasting, spoggy killing filth." said Andy with pride.

"And not only that, he is also an .........

............However, in post #9470, grammar experts, of which there are many on this forum, will have noticed he's dropped into a kind of Deep South gait with his words - more or less like the people they used to call Uncle Tom's, and................

......... deep down on the bayou at Boambee Creek, Andy always has power as, if needed and since he is now on the Board he has been fitted with that Board Member's feature where he can just drop his dacks and shine the light directly onto the panel.

"Aye has discovered purr-pet-ual motion (but not my previous hat-type motion), so tote that barge and lift that bale because aye is now a ...............

.........but the NES readers, fed on American since the War, many of them bred from them too, had no idea what Pit Bull Scotty was on about - pretty much the same as when Hatso does one of his jumbo posts, or Madge...........

.......... strings together a 15 word post that doesn't end in "eh" to report RA-Oz goings ons to his f'n Q membership.(There is one in Charters Towers, a few ferals in Fork Lagoons, 2 in Wairuna and a couple in Dingo (who do it dingo fashion ... NTTIAWWT)."

"I send my voluminous reports out to my members on bunny-skin parchment" commented Endo "As I have always felt that all of the members always deserved to be kept fully informed ......... particularly when I needed a shipload of proxies."

"It's a miracle when Madge does that reporting to the membership thingy" said E Paul "As when I report to my constituents I always do it by ...............

......... get a bit snappy, Och aye the noo. 

 

"We Pit Bulls do naye wear these pig hunting leather chest plates for nought, ye know" said the Pit Bull Scotty "So I'd turn that garden hose off if I were yooo, laddie (or lassie NTTIAWWT), if ye do nae want ma canines embedded in yer wee ................

......... wee, or ya ............

I wonder if you could rig up one or more of the LP gas operated bird-scares at the strip, that could somehow be set up to be pilot activated?

I have hundreds of the bloody things on my place and they sure do cover some ground if I fire a bird-scare shotgun cartridge in their direction.

.............neighbour's garden hose on your favourite Pit Bull Scotty, who at times can.....................

......... get a bit snappy, Och aye the noo.

"We Pit Bulls do naye wear these pig hunting leather chest plates for nought, ye know" said the Pit Bull Scotty "So I'd turn that garden hose off if I were yooo, laddie (or lassie NTTIAWWT), if ye do nae want ma canines embedded in yer wee ................

go miles and miles for Myles and can offer all the Blankness that he needs...which wasn't much cause there seemed to be plenty of blank on the issue of FunFlyingMyles, a RosOz alternate, which sounded like a frequent flier program...Perhaps said Younger Man perhaps I can get points for my own flights....Now that's something to look into, if I could do that then.......

...... I could get Fly-Buy points for each new set of valves and each head rebuild."

Andy took off his wetsuit, flippers and snorkel. He was not completing his usual session of passion with Mrs Andy, he was just getting over the latest East-Coast-Low that had swept through Sth Grafton with the force of a .............

Andy after a good feed of pea and ham soup.

......... a clean mouth, a sentence without "ay" on the end, civility to those who live elsewhere than f'nQ (changed with a stroke of the pen recently by guess who [Madge]) who are usually referred to as "southerners" "mexicans", "dirt scratchers", and those are the people north of Bundaberg.

"Impossible" said A4, "those NQ's think they are in with us, but we consider them southerners!, and half breeds at that!"

 

"Well what about us then" said SeeIfICan "or would have said, if he hadn't excommunicated with every forum in the country, and then................................."

.......... A4 piped back up. "Don't call me A4 any more, as I am a bigger man than that. Call me Fool's-Crap and then I will ..........

.......Major, who had been lurching from controversy to controversy. This time he hadn't said anything about something which was not to be released to the member grubs, and someone had taken offense. "He shouldn't say those things" said Nerdy, "it's confusing us no end, and I think what he might have meant when he didn't say it was..........................."

........... when Madge tells us something he obviously fails on 2 counts. He either tells us too much, or he doesn't tell us enough and I demand better performance than that from my elected Board Officials." added Nerdy "Because when they are elected, they tend to either keep good stuff secret, or they spill their guts (so Andy will go well) and tell us what is going on and neither of those outcomes is what I demand from my elected representative, who I elected to represent me in a representative fashion .......... not that St Madge has any idea of fashion based on the photos that have been posted here." then Nerdy added "What I demand from my elected representative is .............

Turdy's girlfriend asked "Do you want me to wear one of those Ebay sacks next time we go down to Lygon St?" .......... "No" he replied "We'll just be meeting someone for lunch, we won't be going to bed."

......... board election at another time.

"Did Turbo call me?" asked Margot, who thought she heard him call her name.

"Not you Margot" responded Salty "He was referring to ..........

...............we may be able to elect someone who speaks English, and who understands..................

......... also how to speak Australians, and example of which is below.

"Now" said St Andy the Relatively Quiet, "That is what I call .............

.....wolf.....wolf.....wolf (Turbo had been blinded and rendered senseless by the rodent's colourful illustration, and the cute way the wolf is carrying the basket).......had posed as Christopher Robin and alternated with the three wise monkeys, Quasdimodo, and Colonel Blimp - he was certainly a multi-personality animal who showed his true colours when he escorted poor little Epaulette to...........

......... his retirement function.

"Hurrah" cried the members in unison (AerobaticAvRef), because now ..............

THE PERILS OF PAULETTE. ANDY IS IN THE MIDDLE, TURBS AT RIGHT AND POXY LOXY AT LEFT. (Where will Loxy's hand go next?)

".......I've been waiting ten years just to get here and read the Secrets Book. I especially want to read the story about..................."

....... the fairy-tale, or horror-story, about the President and the Solicitor, where the member's funds were caught in an EGM category whirlwind (AvRef) up near grandma's house in Queen-be-Anne and where the big-bad-wolf ............

LITTLE RED, REPRESENTING 8000 MEMBERS AT THE EGM, WITH HER BASKET FULL OF RESOLUTIONS AND PROXIES.

involuntarily shuddered, and accidentally let go a little.....

........... secret gem from the Board email system, a wondrous world of wisdom, hilarious mirth and depravity into which Andy had recently been admitted, and which the ordinary members are forbidden to see. "Do you know, Clarry, that ..........

..........cannibal's nose."Was someone calling me?" asked Cannibal Lecturer who was busy working out the additional drag resulting from the application of a Clear Prop sticker to the side window of a Skyfox [mild avref], and.......

...... then he turned to Clarence and said "You still wake up sometimes, don't you Clarence? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the CASA Inspectorate. Don't you Clarence? Well, Clarence - have the Inspectors stopped screaming?"

"Cannibal Lecturer frightens the heck out of me when he speaks thru that mask (he sounds like Ahlox on a bad day), so much so that I get the squirts" said Andy to Clarence "And he ...........