Captain

Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh you blokes,

Traversing a little bit of rough country sitting behind a 3300. How high do YOU think is safe?

And with a number of saleplanes above & below at the time.

Plus an ingrowing toenail.

........toga.Now most people don't know it, but Hatso once did a stint as Emperor of Rome itself, making the trains run on time, setting minimum standards for the wine, and directing that a new car company be set up - he called it Ferrari after his favourite cat.

 

He never got credit for any of this, but that's life, and............

............. he presently has the next best thing, being able to eat grapes and bask in the glory of being a Board Member of RA-Oz, but all is not beer-&-skittles as Hatso is packing death about the next Ides of March and refuses to have a beer (or play skittles) with anyone named Mark or Antony ............. or ............

And here is what happened to Turbo (known by the girls of the night around Moorabbin as Methias Deuteronomy of Bangholme) when he overstepped the mark or blasphemed in a number of threads recently. The bloke in the middle of the stone-throwers with the red beard is FT.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaORknS1Dk

While we are into show and tell, here is mine on a 230 at 2880 rpm, just levelling off at 6,900 ft with 11 C OAT.

CHT & EGT were usually highest for me on 2 and 4 with plenty of air getting to the back to cool 5 & 6 (and this needed to be watched on descent to stop them getting too cold, so usually needed power on a little while descending).

I also always suspected that the J intake plenum was a bit of an issue and did not evenly distribute to the cylinders, but that can never be perfect.

Note carb temp was 3 C at top of climb and oil was 74C.

"Oh look", said Doubtfire in frustration..."Tubs and I just finished one of his legendary liaison's at the BOB and I happen to have a few spare hessian sacks that I tend to use with Tubbs...If you put them over you heads...and hold your breath............"

.......... it is the nearest Turbs will ever get to autoerotic asphyxia ..... & as you all know, the colloquial term that we use for people who practice that technique is that they are a "gasper", although in Turb's case it is more of a "wheeze".

"I'm into autorotation in my R44 which makes my sphincter auto-constrict" replied Turbo "Is that the same thing?"

"Salty is the expert on this" answered HatBoy as he tightened his ...................

La plume de ma tante flew into action when she said "Don't ban mon nephew as there are 50 sphincters in the human body and he may not have been referring to THAT one."

.......... saying to Turbo "We've had a lot of complaints from other Moorabbinites who have asked me to make you aware of those things near your feet. Those are called rubber pedals and they control the waggly bit off the back of the sticky-up thing .............. and see that funny looking line out there in the distance? I forget what that is called but keep your sticky-out thingos roughly level with that except when turning."

"Righty-Oh" replied Tubb who was about to stick a new set of rings & valve guides in his 300L to stop that smoke.

Then the BPP (Brave Pitts Pilot) added "And stop blaming that lovable little Rodent for your ..........................

My Aunt has come in here to ask me to remind any bright eyed new RAA members that the above is about all you need to know to get your licence, so don't waste too much time with high-priced FTF's.

.......... Turbo did his best Matt Hall impersonation as he turned the smoke on and dived the Warrior towards Nanna's private birthday party down in the mansion on her 25,000 acres by the river. 

 

"G'day, Turbo" she said over the hand-held "You are cleared into the box" ..................... then she ..................

....... thought, "When the girls told me that Turbo had an Extra 330, I naturally assumed that they meant that he ...............

...............................smokn!, and....................

.......... Turbo did his best Matt Hall impersonation as he turned the smoke on and dived the Warrior towards Nanna's private birthday party down in the mansion on her 25,000 acres by the river.

"G'day, Turbo" she said over the hand-held "You are cleared into the box" ..................... then she ..................

.......... thermos for his morning smoko, after which it will be ...............

.........the inocculation time each year when all the rams turn into rampants and...............

...... the grazier's wife hears the word "inoculation" then looks wistfully at that packet of little blue pills behind the mirror in the bathroom and thinks "Do I dare slip a couple into his ............

It appears to me that this thread has gone waaay off track.....

However I do think that some may have been sucked into a type of feeding frenzy about J engines.

While there appears to be some issues that need addressing, and I like the fact that Jabiru themselves have been (re)focussed on addressing any issues that are clearly demonstrated, it is equally a fact that some owners have achieved good to great results and are satisfied, plus I know of several aircraft that have circumcised the continent without any issues.

After J aircraft have given such sterling service in Flying Schools over numerous years it is, in my opinion, a tad over the top to now be saying that it is an unacceptable risk to send your son or daughter solo in such an aircraft.

So I like the fact that CASA have given Jabiru a prod, but as usual, they appear to have been ham-fisted in that they may have also blindsided most owners and FTF's using such aircraft. Collateral damage is unacceptable on an issue such as this and I don't understand why CASA couldn't have been more targeted in their actions. CASA would do well to learn subtlety and how business is done out in the real world, where such issues can often be addressed, progressed and resolved more on the QT.

Regards Geoff

....my alter ego "DeltaMichCharleen", who will respond "...................."

...... Hey Herm, is it true that you are called both Herman and Aphrodite and that you have one set of each?"

This caused a considerable stir down at the CWA when Mavis read out this section of the NES at their AGM and then asked to nobody in particular "I wonder if they are close enough to each other to get entangled?"

To which Edna replied ".............

".........was doing rather well until I posted a photo of my instrument panel with its neat little registration label for all to see, and had to delete 274 posts in one night, particularly the ones where I was a Boeing Captain, but I did get to send a nasty PM to the Prime Minister infering that I knew where he lived, and..............."

....... was coming around to have some of my extensions paid for and to set up an Onion Slushy Fund. Oooops, wrong Prime Mincer, so I'd best get back on pee pee pruney and tip a bucket on .................

to really confuse them I'll adopt the female icon as my picture why trying to restrict the usage of my favourite sayings of "Gidday Mate" and "How they hangin?" and "strewth these jocks are chaffin me balls" cause they might tend to give away that I'm not female rather I'm.........

........ not male either. I am Herm Aphrodite (NTTIAWWT), the well known contributor to pee pee prune, where I ...........

.............had front teeth which allowed him to each a cabbage through wire netting, and so he was always kept in the prompter's pit during shows where..............

........ he could eat a peach through a tennis racket, and couldn't take his eyes off Ahlox in his red dress, before ................

Latest from Jabiru just received by email ............

Hello Jabiru Fleet, As you are aware CASA has issued a draft proposal to place operational limitations on Jabiru Aircraft. At a regulatory level Jabiru are communicating with CASA management and the Minister. CASA’s proposed document is virtually unprecedented in content and approach. We have sent our response. In summary:- “The proposed instrument concerning operating limitations for Jabiru powered aircraft should be withdrawn immediately and without reservation.” At an operational level we are having regular talks with CASA and the RA-Aus to improve communications and develop better methods and processes for managing the relationship between Regulator, Administrator and Manufacturer. At heart we all want a vibrant, active and safe recreational aviation sector and Jabiru are committed to doing what we can to achieve this. At a technical level Jabiru’s engineers and staff are liaising with their CASA contacts and are making steady progress working through the items on the technical agenda. For many obvious reasons Jabiru does not conduct R&D in public nor publish every internal engineering report, however in the last 12 months 153 drawing revisions have been made along with revisions to many operating, maintenance, technical and overhaul manuals. 3 Service Letters or Bulletins (or their LSA category equivalents) have been published and 25 people have visited Jabiru for maintenance training. All of this work has been carried out with the one goal of improving the reliability and ultimately the safety of our products. At a grass-roots level we have contacted many operating flying schools, asking them for information which will help us gather essential data to assess the currency of their configuration. This information will form a very important tool for us and we strongly urge people to take the time to provide the information as fully as possible. We are also appealing to people to keep flying and enjoying their aircraft! Overall, Jabiru is moving forward and embarking on a program of positive changes. You will see regular technical and engineering updates for engines and airframes. Jabiru conducts engine maintenance courses and we will run more courses, more often. Communications at all levels will be improved. In accordance with the CASA website the consultation period on the proposed instrument has been extended until 27 November 2014 and all submissions should be forwarded to [email protected] - Only 1 day left! While Jabiru and the RA-Aus work on the formal agenda with CASA we encourage members, businesses, owners and operators to contact federal and local members of parliament to provide input regarding the CASA imposed restrictions, detailing potential financial impacts or distress, loss of potential customers, negative effects on employment, reputational damage, etc. Your federal member details can be found at www.aph.gov.au with state and local details available at the relevant government website. Finally, some food for thought: Records given to CASA for this year indicated 40 engine incidents. Of these incidents there have been twelve engine stoppages in flight resulting in forced landings. No serious injuries or fatalities were recorded. Nearly 41,800 hours were flown in Jabirus in Australia in that time with 92,700 flights. It has been a very difficult and stressful time for Jabiru and it’s not over yet. However, as we drove to work today we saw a 20-year-old Jabiru LSA flying circuits and training its latest pilot. It helps to know that that little plane has probably trained at least 200 people in its life so far, that there are plenty of Jabirus in schools worldwide and there are a lot of smiles per hour happening because of Jabiru. That’s what we’re here for.

STOP PRESS ........ PICTURE FROM THE NES XMAS PARTY LAST SUNDAY AT THE BLUE OYSTER ........ STOP PRESS

Photo taken last Sunday night of Happy NES'ers responding to their impersonate a celebrity theme.

From left to right are Salty, Phil (who flew his 230 over from Pommyland for the day), some ring-in from the Village People (NTTIAWWT) Tribute Band, Ahlox (he is a great Dolly P), Turbo as Barak OB, Eeeeeeen, The 12 Inchers, AndyCoughsupfurballs, and 'AvaSet.

.....(a) A four cylinder outboard motor running as it should

 

(b) The fifth piston, which Turbo fitted "just in case" arcing up over the star Sirius

 

Salty pondered "I wonder if this could be the solution to.................."

......... our impending global cooling problems? As geeeez it is cool here this morning."

Please note, Dear NES Reader, that Turbo had only ever heard his outboard running on 4 pots when he briefly owned a V8 Johnno before it completely dropped its guts, and Turbo's 5th Piston is legendary and similar to the 5th Beatle, who ...............

........ an outboard motor running reliably and without interruption.

"What's that noise that I have never heard before?" asked Turbo with unmistakable curiosity.

"And what is that bright ball up in the sky that is making me feel warm?" asked Phil.

"I know the answers to both questions" replied Salty "They are .............

........ but has been escalated up to the Office of the Director & signed by Steve Neal who I presume is a PA of the acting director Terry Farquharson.

Perhaps he is there to undo the damage that others have done ..... or perhaps to spin the current position to best effect for CASA ..... or perhaps he is simply dedicated to looking after YOU.

If you had, due engine failure, to land in port Philip bay, then best it not be behind (NTTIAWWT) boats driven by leading citizens who may well feel the need to reverse, without those little buzzer things that trucks have to announce impending..........

..... doom and failure.

"They say "Beep beep ....WARNING ..... Turbo designed part of me ..... WARNING ..... Lock up your daughters, the devo has bought a Vette ..... WARNING ..... Beep beep", then the recorded postscript ...................

"..........the latest Hatso product 'Sh$tsRus - Armageddon Now!', sponsored by the Royal Astronauts Association, who ........"

......... share a certain something with a boating accident on Port Phillip Bay."

"Geeeez Turdboy is subtle" said Brine "As I just worked out what he was getting at with that post."

"I'm buggered (NTTIAWWT) if I could work it out" interjected Moderattori Ahloxisplendifferoci.

"The colour of the boat was the same as the 2,000th aircraft on the RAA register, and they were both serviced by a bloke named Trevor" replied Salty "Therefore the point that Turbid was making was that .............

".........flexed my body on full bump, which was nearly as good as full......."

.......... DD cups, full right rudder to keep the aircraft on centreline and the CASA edict bloke being full of ...............

.....I need to remember where the battery is, and um, where my teeth are too. These old Goggomobile Darts are so rough, and......."

...... then Mavis piped up "I used to be a Goggo dancer and people thought I was a bit rough, but then again, they didn't mind that so much when I ..............

........... as per one of your latest "Consult and Co-operate with the Industry" Edicts, I need three L4's, a compote of L3's, a gaggle of L2's and a herd of L1's to all sign form number M679.8.43.(I) in order that the battery charger can be connected, and then .........