Captain

..... about what lingo would be spoken when they broke out into the light and where all the passports were stored.

"Of crxp" said Turbs "Did any of you blokes & blokettes remember to bring your passports? "

The silence was ......

......... That had to be fixed because two hours into the tunnelling, the rear Borer had  shaved the front one to thickness of a piece of tin and......

 

...... that's a bit of an issue when you are still under Ricey Beach with 4000 kms to run.

"No it's not " insisted Turgid, ever the considered optimist, but Bedlinnen was furious with a capital F and ..........

[YOUR BELOVED CAPTAIN HAS SUBMITTED A STAT DEC (& NOT A STACKED DECK AS TINKY HAS ALLEGED) TO STATE THAT HIS TIME WITH THE B&MRCL WAS ALL ABOVE BOARD AND HE DENIES ALL OF THE SUBSEQUENT ALLEGATIONS ........ SO WILL ALL WRECK FLYERS PLEASE DESIST FROM ALL RELATED SPECULATION] ..... THE COMPLETE WF MODERATIONAL PANEL.

great hit with the quokas who little knew that the treat was their last meal of the condemned before being hurled into the ever munching jaws of the dying boring boring machine. When the resulting slurry of quoka mince streamed out the back of the machine Captain ran for the barf bag while Musker's on-site representative.......  

 

……….. Arse-armour Bedlinnen, tried to steady the crowd, as the Bedlinnen family had provided seed capital for the Pork Kabab conceptual studies and had subsequently invested heaviliy.

"Our focus group research said that they would be a hit and that's why we invested in the mega-piggery and goatery located on land that we leased  over near Onesie's joint." Arsearmour said in his interview on ABC Business.

"Did you realise that the focus group was supplied by the 7th Night Inventors church and they all love to get some port on their fork? And do you believe in Climate Change? Plus, isn't that Swedish lassie a little cutie" asked the ABC interviewer.

"Oh crap" responded Bedlinnen "I thought they were the 7th Afternoon Moozies and they were the ones that our goatery was going to supply to (for meat, not that other thing). But no worries, we'll just steam the halal certification badge off the outside (like they do with out-of-date oysters) and we'll substitute a St George cross and sell them to the Gxd Botherer Funnymentalists, who have all got heaps of knippers and like to pork."

So the Business Plan was changed, a secret percentage of minced quoka was added to the recipe, the porkers were able to relax, the goats propagated (with themselves this time) while the quoka population went ………………...

....hind legs ready for the chop.

 

President of the Chamber,  OneStopShop said "We have to stop Musk, we've managed to slow his car production down to the point where he's building less T3's than Goggomobile, and we've ensured he doesn't launch rockets like he used to, and we've managed to shorten battery life in South Australia's Big Battery from 14 minutes to3.5 seconds by linking it to slot machines, but how do you stop a tunnel borer?"...

 

.... "And that's what the Quoka quota is for" proffered Goattrack, ever keen to impress. "Cuck enough quokas in there, mate, and the tunnel borer will be qucked."

Just then Brian bin Salman bin Naughty came in with his new line of pork kebabs which were a ........

....... the Rotty Mosque and Kebab Emporium where the local Imam had a quoka by the ......

............these people always responded to a party so he mashed up, with his bare feet, a huge batch of Kava, slaughtered six fat pigs [ordered 200 fake meat packs from Coles - your pick], flew four Hula dancers in from Honolulu, and the party began. The first thing he noticed was that they all showed up meticulously at the start time, and....

 

....... told anti Caucasian jokes, like ............... If an Australian and an American fell off the Sydney harbour bridge, which one would hit the water first, eh bro?

Answer ................... Who cares.

And then they all went to the pub at 3 to pick a fight with some other Cauc, eh cuz.

But the Musky one didn't care as all he wanted in the short term was for the windows not to be broken and the Tesla production line to pick up by a measly 150%, so he turned to bull, at great expense, to ..........

[iT WAS VERY NOTICEABLE TO HUNDREDS OF NES'ERS THAT TURDY HAD ACHIEVED MASSIVE CROSS-CULTURAL FERTILIZATION IN HIS ABOVE POST, PLUS HAD ACHIEVED A NEW STANDARD WITH HIS OPTIONAL STORYLINE TECHNIQUE THAT HAD NEVER BEFORE BEEN SEEN HERE OR IN HOLLYWOOD, BY INCLUDING THOSE BEAUTIFUL YET POIGNANT WORDS "YOUR PIC", TINKY HAD REVOLUTIONIZED MODERN LITERATURE IN A MANNER (& APPEARANCE) REMINISCENT OF COLLEEN MCCULLOUGH .............. MOD]

........... who organised a cadre of pacific islander builder's labourers (another tautology) who would work like crazy to slow the project down.

The Muskstick turned grey with rage and became a slate pencil for 3 hours, until he realised that ............

Hi-Ho scratched his chin. "I reckon we must be able to convert a HR Holden into a tunnel-borer somehow - particularly now that Holden is virtually stuffed, and they've stopped making Commonwhores. The HR will be a winner, now everyone knows, it's just a matter of time before Holden pull right out of Australia, and we wave them adieu at the port!"

 

"The HR has some inherent problems", said Turbo thoughtfully. "For a start, the design was done by American designers, after the Australian-designed HD was a flop! So that could be a sticking point. However......

 

………. we can bring a bucketload of RSA assembled Commodores, or whatever they are called in Aaafrikorns or Swahili and they'll sell like snags off a brei." expounded Turps.

The Muskstick rubbed his hands together "With a toll of $US 5,500 per vehicle and 400 Tesla charging stations equally spaced along the way, I'll make a …………….

GOATTRACK MODELLING HIS NEW LINE OF PALESTINIAN TUNNELING GEAR

AND HIS NEW LINE OF OPTIMISTIC NON-DROWNING TUNNELLING CLOTHES.

Danny from Melbourne has lodged an expression of interest in the tunnel project, he has a couple of confused tunneling machines lacking direction that could well be available pending negoiations with other interested parties. In the mean time ..........

 

…….. Turbo took charge as he fancied himself as the Henry Kissinger of our time, but it turned out, he was the Barack Obama of Moorabistan in Melbournistan, Mextoria and his first presentation said "Sorry" 29 times in a similar vein to that little spiv Kevi Rudd, (and the way that Daniela will when the power goes out this summer).

Meanwhilst, HiHo slanderer and Onesie saw where the money shot was and ……………….

BREAKING NEWS - The Long Muskstick has submitted an expression of interest to the NES to purchase the rights to the Cross Indian Ocean Tunnel.

Please see the below excerpt from his offer.

I will advise a date and time for an EGM of the NES.

If this comes off we can all buy a used Drifter.

THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT IS ALIVE & WELL, AND THE NES CONTRIBUTORS PLUS THE LADY DOGS ARE BEING APPRECIATED.

HO HO HO. (AND THEM TOO).

.....have a matinee instead, but our main job is to approve this tunnel to South Africa, and to do that we have to .....

 

..... have the NES jump around various subjects randomly for a while, a bit like Human Factors do, then we need to get CASA & NTSB to approve the tunnel.

"Why" asked Hiho hiho it's off to make the toys we go (and merry Xmas to all you good kiddies).

"Because it goes somewhere near MH370 and that means .........

......foot out of the govebox, and the speaker.....

 

..... of the lower house often said " ...........

......I used to go to the Drive In we would slip off it on those steep slopes, but Turbo had realised what the Captain was hinting at. ‘“Did you ever see those stone Zimbabwean birds?” he asked. (He knew there was rumoured to be billions in gold buried directly to the north of them.

 

"What, at the Drive-In?" asked HidyHody "What a shame, as when I attended the Drive-In all those years ago with my main squeeze, all I was interested in was to get my ........

..... some pretty good video skills too, as when our Palestinian mates get to RSA, they will need to deal with SWAPO, who understand a thing or 2 about kicking arse,  so there will be some good chop-chop video to be made & sold on the dark web

Then if they turn right and head for home, they'll have the Zimbabwean secret police (who went close to finishing off your beloved Skipper in a former life, but who all are now at loose ends since Mugabe went the big sleep), and further north .....

.... game?" .......

 

….. "I am" said bull, who gained that name because ……….

bull made some scones, onesie showed us all how to boil tea in a billy then swing it round your head. Unfortunately the handle broke, but we got the idea. HiHo found some jam and Turbo offered some catfish sandwiches, and the party was just coming alive when Turbo exclaimed: "I've just had a phone call from the Victorian Government asking would be like their tunnel borers at a reduced rate. "Tunnel boring for the proposed rail loop has stopped, perhaps permanently" he said "It seems old Dan's hearing is failing and he thought he heard the contractors say it would cost $50 million but when the contract papers arrived it was $50 billion.

 

It was noticed that OneStep had moved out of hearing and was in deep conversation. He started nodding his head and said "I just asked Gina if she'd bankroll us, and she's said yes. She'll pay for a train tunnel to South Africa, to take her Ore Trains, and she's asked us to manage the project at very inflated rates." Who's ................."

 

.... game?" .......

G'Day

 

And G'day to you too Ian.

Meanwhile, FIFO had also declared Eeeen as the new Salman Rushdie because of his ...........

 

………….. friendliness and his propensity to say "G'day" to all the wrecks on Wreck Flying, one of whose name is Akky Baraclough. So when Eeeeen said "Hello Ak Bar", this was mistaken by FIFO as being Allahu Akbar, Eeeeeen was declared a non-WA-nkerville infidel spy and just to be certain, his status was upgraded to Rushdie-like so that Salman's Fatwas could apply to him too.

So just to be certain that the NES is not Charlie Hebdo, I am pleased to confirm that the facts are that Akbar was really Abu'l-Fath Jalal-ud-din Muhammad Akbar (1542 – 1605, so Turbo would have gone to school with him), popularly known as Akbar the Great (what a big-head), but also known as Alan Akbar. Alan (or Al as his mates liked to call him) was the third Mughal emperor, who reigned from 1556 to1605, and Al succeeded his father,

Perth & Rotty were alive with rejoicing (and the occasional explosion caused by a short circuit due to cheap Chinese wiring [FIFO were watching their pennies] as shown in the below video that was smuggled out by Ali bin Onsie bin Goattrack, and you will see in the below video how nervous are the goats.

But Wreck Flying is a secular organisation and always went ............

..............................................and the dots continued, maybe there was no one left in WA, a sort of terrestrial Marie Celeste?  Perhaps there had been a ..........

 

....... FIFO Call-of-Fate declared, various Fatchicks issued and everyone who is not a bomb-chucker has been rounded up and kept in the WA equivalent of Guantanamo Bay, The Freo jail.

And didn't Marie Celeste make a NES appearance previously as a federal minister?

Meanwhile, FIFO had also declared Eeeen as the new Salman Rushdie because of his ...........

"....How much is that Body Butter?, and does it.............."

 

................... work on WA-nkerville reprobates like ...........

....he ran out of his 10 cartons of 50 cups of body butter after one night.

 

"I had them in the back of the Ute at the Deni Muster" he said "and all I did was suggest to one check that I'd rub a small amount behind each ear."

 

"She went overboard then jumped up on the stage" and now four days later I can hardly walk, and I'm married to 37 women, but ......"

 

............ it's fate and something I was borne for, so if they all die, they die" Turbo mumbled while hooked up to the drip and receiving a recovery massage.

"Don't call him a "drip" again Cappy as we want to keep the NES very friendly & intimate, which TinkerBell apparently took literally" said UniRoute and then he scratched them and added "...............

But ................. as usual and typically, the Tinkler went waaaaayyyyyy too far, to the extent that ...............