Captain

....unnecessary, so he just flew without one like, as one person posted once, "about a third of us", and.....

 

…...….. this seemingly innocent couple of posts in the NES created a movement led by HiHo to bring back the AUF.

Protest groups were organised to glue themselves to the roads with dope from old Drifter kits, or left-over yellow resin and hardener from old Jabiru builds.

Rotax 2 strokes were rejuvenated all over the country in retirement villages by crusty old AUF types.

All AUF members wore ex-WW2 flying suits with captain's epaulettes, like the ex president dill used to, and there was guerilla warfare in the streets of Moorabistan as the RAA Plastic flyers used IUD's (see example below) to attack AUF members who were peaceably going about their business.

As was last week the case in Iraq, everyone was in fear of a drone attack as both sides had been down to the Toys-R-Us Xmas sale and bought hundreds of cheap drones (& typically for these flyers (avref), they were unlicensed), with which to ………. 

AN EXAMPLE OF A TYPICAL IUD EXPLOSIVE DEVICE

WHERE THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE SOURCED FROM THE INTERWEB.

NOTE HOW SMALL AND EASILY CONCEALED THEY ARE.

YOU COULD POSSIBLY EVEN FIT ONE UP YOUR XXXX.

a form to fill that when duly completed and notarised would permit .....

 

.... our beloved HiHo to operate from the hundreds of AUF approved airports without a CAE.

And this dear readers was the 1st firm evidence of a cadre of AUF administrators operating within RAA, which is akin to the 5th Estate that has been operating within the FBI.

HiHo was wrapped as he is a natural rebel, but Turbo was .....

.....droughts and fire and famine.

 

"Droughts no longer apply in Australia" said Dorothea

 

"Fire is caused by climate change, which encourages the youth of today to light them"

 

"Famine" is someting which cattle imagine, and can be trained out of"

 

And so began the legend of Dorothea, farming expert; the HighHoslander from Scotland who could play...............

 

....... the glockenschpiel with the best of them and sing his new words in a very effective manner (tears to the eyes and all that) such that the WWF gave him a grant & free membership, and the AUF, of course, issued him with ........

... offered a break from Ofred

 

and jingled his jangles to

 

there was a young man from Canberra

 

he flew in in a silver  Sierra

 

cried "how good is that?"

 

from his floppy felt hat

 

'n promptly left for the Riveiera

 

"Oh Lordy lord" muttered Captain "what on earth was that"?

 

"That" retorted Albo "was

 

………… what in future will be regarded as equivalent to Dorothea's "I love a sunburned Country".

"He is, he is" said Mandy excitedly "He is Dorothea the Hihoslanderer, the new threat to …...

remind Mandy she of the Miss Candy world princess competition that this superlative flying machine had one engine for every passenger, compare that to Samantha's 737 mini with 80 persons sharing the one engine.

 

How good is that??

 

shouted Scott from marketing

 

as he paraded his new fleet of water 737 bombers  still wrapped in their birthing green plastic wrap.

 

Scot then launched into his latest ditty ".....................

 

…….. "It was a cold and stormy night, and the Captain said to the Mate "Tell me a tale", and this is the tale he told .... It was a cold and stormy night, and the Captain said to the Mate "Tell me a tale", and this is the tale he told ….. It was a cold and stormy night, and the Captain said to the Mate "Tell me a tale", and this is the tale he told. etc etc forever and ever …………."

Mandy gave it a scratch & rolled here eyes, looked at Scott, dry-reached when she saw Albo, glanced at Tink with a glint, but then chose HiHo because he offered ……………….

"We've got 600 metres of cord on these early ones" he said, "so it's probably best to design a circular runway, but we're developing an elastic cord, which will allow quite long flights" ……. which …….

 

……..... reminded Cappy of his control line flying days as a nipper, where he specialised in rat aircraft with his 1.5 and 2.5 cc Taipan diesels, and he found that his resultant giddyness made him very attractive to the young ladies down at the park, because he always made the most of his …………..

The 2.5 Taipan (miniatureavref) was the hottest thing on the block back in the day (as Cappy was the epitome of the little Aussie battler & couldn't afford a battery for a fancy pants glow plug engine). The red ones went faster.

..................Drifters had been around for a loong time, just as when you wanted to fly anywhere it would take a loong time unless they were fitted with Turbo's high speed electric motor, which...........

 

......... has proven to be a revelation to the ..........

It is little known that Turbo's high speed electric motor was mentioned in the margin of the Magna Carta, by Nostradamus, by Douglas Macarthur and by Nelson Mandela.

Icarus pulling 8 G's during the first trial flights

of his initial design of the Drifter up near the Grampians.

Note the wing flex which is well within design requirements,

and his modesty undies since being marketed by Onesie.

.....the Forever Ambers, who were Old Money, not these Nouveau Riche types like One Track, who'd made a quick fortune selling D9 tracks for half price. It was only after the operator pulled it into gear and the dozer went round and round in a spin that the customers realised they'd been had, and OTs fine print was some of the best since the Magna Carta.

 

Forever Forever Savannah Amber, because that was her name, although her mother was continually calling her FFS Amber, ........

 

..... "Did somebody call me into the NES" asked Magda.

"No, it was Magna" emphasized Turgid who was sick of Magda Subanskovich constantly trying to get a gig in the NES after her Sharon netball character was declared as sexist by Me Too and as fattist by the "2 of Me Too" movement.

"Do you want me to read a script?" she added.

"No mate, it was Magna Carta, now say it 20 times so that it will sink in" retorted Turdboy getting impatient.

This exchange started the NES on a detailed treatise on the strength of English Juris Prudence over the past 600 years and pre aviation (avref) unless of course Icarus gets a guernsey, as his wax wings mimicked a Drifter, which was one of the sidebar illustration in the Magna Carta,  and that proved that ......

"We've already saved a few thousand from the fires, no thanks to you, mate!", yelled a disgruntled passer-by. "Why don't you rack off back to Canberra, and come up with......

 

…… a formula for artificial amber."

"Hey" said Amber again "What am I? Sliced apple (aviationcomputerref)? Or chopped liver? (liverref).

Amber was right about being indignant ("I liked it" said Dignant) as she was only one of …………….

There was one fly in the ointment, though. That was......

 

…….. an Asian bot fly stuck in a jar of Vicks Vaporub.

But Onesie was compassionate and immediately went in to bat (cricketref) to rescue the fly.

"Wrack off Onesie" the fly said "As I am waiting to become a collectors item when this Vaporub turns into amber".

"That'll take a while" commented Amber who is a female (equalopportunityref) pilot (avref) and she was certain (confidenceref) that ……... 

They are big collector's items aren't they?

(It may actually be a Japanese Hornet and not a bot fly, but that adds to the drama in the NES.)

opined that 20,000 should work just as well as 25,000 and consume less fossil fuel (Greta ref) in the process thus making adequate allowance for...........

 

.... a slow death without being overly aggressive about it.

"Well said HiHo" chorused the Gloriatti Moderatti and their peanut (another CASAref) gallery who also urged .....

Hypoxia turns the head blue, and scares the passenger sh!tless, so he shut up, although even then some continue to whine. Not many people know that hypoxia also blocks the ears so even the most persistent religious or political would be's are blocked out, and the Captain taught himself how to hypoxiate.

 

We all wish he'd.................

 

……….. go on up to 25,000 and do a complete job of it.

The WF Moderatti were shocked at this callous (CASAref) sentiment and .………..

sailplanes don't have engines

 

Poor Turbo must be struggling again and I have taken the matter up with Planey to jointly draft a complaint, as the above quote is just plain (avref) misinformation and Fake News. (Turbs must have bought CNN or the ABC).

As, while an explanation should not be needed, Captain, ever the compassionate member of WF, explained that what the E meant in his ASW28-18E.

Below is another example to help Tink along.

Meanwhile Loxley had finally made it to Alaska for the STOL competition which he described in his departure celebrity media interviews as "A piece of psis"

He would have been there last week (and on time) except it took him 10 days to undo the steering lock on the 737.

Below is exclusive footage of his 5th and final attempt at the short landing comp, where his aim was clearly to beat 9' 5".

"I almost made it" he said with his usual air (avref) of CFS jaunty confidence "And would have kicked their arses if it was not for the effects of climate change".

"Oh, shut your cake-hole Greta" yelled the assembled crowd in anticipation for her comment once she arrived in Alaska on her bludged $2 million yacht.

"How dare you enjoy yourselves mucking about with aeroplanes" thought Great telepathically (& pathetically).

......altitude, took him to new heights, and the Captain....

 

……., who had spent a lot of time in his Sailplane at 19,000 ft looking at his nails and waiting for the Hypoxia Siren to bite, assured the TurboDeity that he could …….. 

Based on the below, this might be the cause

of the Captain's concentration and retention issues,

as his head has gone blue permanently too.

the Captain on his way to Turkmenistan and suffering a touch of frost bite and altitude/attitude sickness  fell to the charms of ..............

 

.... the Hypoxia Siren, who looked stunning in her blue nail polish and happy carefree attitude to ......

....... conquer the Roman Empire, while bull (known as Jude to his mates) negotiated for a few ........

....volunteers who wanted to rebuild the East-West tunnel. Turbo suggested they get on social media and write about being athesists, their version of politician, and encourage them to start by building the tunnel. Soon there were thousands of gullible people consisting of youths and other ages inlcuding 214 Men's Shed groups who thought it was a political rally. Turbo had a shovel for everyone, and soon they were all in the tunnel, and had dug out the first train. Then.........

 

……. it became apparent to all in SE Australia that the TurboPlunger is, in fact, not just a mess, he is THE mess-iah, and has been applying his skills behind the scenes to Project Manage all of Mextoria's capital projects, plus he is leading (all at the same time) five of the happy-clappy messianic churches in addition to applying his usual expert leadership to the Skippy Aviation (avref) community (this often goes unappreciated by some of the other wrecks on Wreck Flying, but while often unacknowledged, Turbo's leadership has single handedly taken the Australian aviation standing to the highest in the world ….. and is now the standard on which the EU base all of their aviation decisions).

Turbo and his ("Can a deity have a sex?" asked the ever philosophical Captain) 5 disciples (Cappy, bull, Onetrick, HidyHody and the FlyingVission) now moved on to …….

...... cheering crowds, adoring fans & several young ........

after a day of horrific pounding,

 

……….. "I'd give anything to have a day like that" said Mahmood to ……......

[Turbo apologizes but there has been a prolonged exchange of mortar and gun fire and Turbo was told to switch his phone off, get his head down and shut up

 

…… as he had just become aware that he is the subject of a new Fatwah issued by the Grand Ayatollah and countersigned by Planey.

Below is a recent pic of Ali Sistani being a laugh a minute

after telling his favourite flatulence joke.

.......the top of the mountain above his dugout which....

 

……. effectively disguised what the RAA membership thought would ………...

..... on to .....

 (avref)

.........futuristic hydrogen fired zero emission aircraft which....

 

..... caused Greta to spit the dummy again.

"How dare you" she screamed from her script "As hydrogen is a fossil fuel pharted by fossils and other old fossils ............. (long silence) .............. Oh sheise (in Schweedish), zay have giffen mee zee wrong schcript, where is mine mutter und ein farter .......... ant I had to ride on the floor off zee train, und travel in a poxy $1.5 million boat, and zee Wrecks on Wreck Flying (note zee avref) are putting scheiser on zee Drifter mit zee hydrogen power ...... oh woe iss mee and Turbo iss schtill ein ..........