Captain

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

those whistle thingys as well to complete the look...... 

...... plus add one of those shonky power booster thingos that Brocky (respects etc) used to flog when things ......

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

Captain you are a master at shifting gears but please don't drop me in the proverbial fecal matter. I get myself into enough trouble offending people on my own.

Worry not CT, as your description of Turbo was remarkably accurate & poignantly appropriate.

40 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

think about that chrome over plastic lookalike turbo

We all know that Turbo's head is pretty shiny, CT, but to call it "chromed", or to refer to his recent face-lift as "plastic" is perhaps going too far.

Thanks Alan. I've been searching the NSW Coroner's Reports fairly regularly but to no avail so far.

On 27/06/2021 at 8:41 PM, onetrack said:

I guess we can only wait for the report, to find out what went wrong during the jump.

I wonder if there will be one OT. A 10,000 jump instructor friend of mine was killed in a somewhat similar tandem jump at Wilton in 2017 and I have never been able to find any authoritative report. Or does the Coroner sometimes take this long to investigate such accidents?

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........there was a young janitor cleaning the floor. The judge grabbed the janitor's bucket of water and slid it across the floor.

It hit the witch doctor on his ankle bone, sending a spout of hot water up his grass skirt, scorching his fruit and making him drop the Cassowary bone. Turbo in a flash grabbed the bone pointed it at the WD and he dissolved. Turbo quickly slipped the bone into his pocket; it was to become the decidinf factor in many boardroom squabbles over the years, leading to .......

...... at least fourty undefined and sudden boardroom vacancies.

This led to some wag coining the abbreviation "WD40", which took off in memes all over the interweb (even up in Remnark).

Turbs saw the opportunity and immediately jumped on that by forming Turbine Slippery Substances and Pentrants PLC (or the more catchy TSSAPPLC - registered in Panama [RiP]), a name which had all sorts of alternative & lewd connotations, such as  ..............

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the case is not going at all well for the RAPNG after the witchdoctor pointed the Cassowary bone at the RAPNG lawyer who immediately expired, and then turned to leer at the judge who immediately decided TCCNL were innocent of all charges and ducked under the bench where ...............

.... there was a young .....

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This one, built by Ernie Drinkimupt and his brothers was particularly good, and attracted many aircraft of the same size. As you can see here it went on the form the basis for the design of the Jabiru with its high wing, tough undercarriage and ...........

....... as you can see, the empennage is identical to that on the CT Super Sport Turbo – Rotax 914UL (even to the same extent of the unequal length of the horizontal stabilizers, the design of which counters the unique use of unequal propeller blade lengths), that has led to legal action being taken against the local witchdoctor, who is a Director of Turbine Cargo Cults NL, where ...... 

On 02/07/2021 at 10:39 AM, Captain said:

hence Tubb's need to form Turbine Date-Rape Drugs PLC for his personal use).

Just between us NESers so don't make it public, but Turbo is such a disaster in the looks and personality departments, that he needs to use these drugs on himself when he is alone and feeling frisky.

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

truggling

The Yellow Rat is surprised at Turbo's public use of the term "truggling" given its extreme & depraved meaning within the LMBTQXYZ community where it is only used on the Dark Web and between consenting adults after a minimum of 20 hours of training & attendance at 2 LMBTQXYZ Human Fuctors Courses.

Thank goodness it has not been recognized & moderated so far, as that would have meant that the Wreck Flying Moderatti Illuminatti would have been into "truggling" and therefore unable to walk or write or type for days. 

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Things were humming along with the bomb making, Religious reading, Gun lessons and flying lessons. The ASIO guys, who had infiltrated the hubs as religious lecturers, motivational speakers, poles dancers and male strippers, observed that the BHM groups were becoming highly skilled to the point where they were talking less about "forgive thy neighbour" and more about what they'd do to that XXXX of an ex Husband, and ASIO realised they has a problem to fix so they came up with a solution called Operation Blue, and ........

........... bought up all the blue hair dye in OZ.

This buggered up Turbo's own hair colour regime, so he changed to puce, see below, which got him a lot of unanticipated action (he has always had the body for good "action" but his head has until now frightened off various admirers ....... hence Tubb's need to form Turbine Date-Rape Drugs PLC for his personal use).

The lack of blue dye also effected Salty, who had quite a different issue to OT when the dye disappeared off the shelves, so  .........  

TURBO IN HIS PUCE PHASE, FROM THE BACK (WHERE MOST OF HIS ACTION HAPPENS).

10 hours ago, Captain said:

"Beauty & gotcha Scott, so hallelujah to the highest (avref) and I'll send you ...........

 

THE SALES MANAGER OF TURBINE CCP GIVING THANKS FOR SCOTT'S HELP.

AND VERILY, I SAY UNTO THEE, THAT NO NESER WANTS TO RESPOND ON THE THREAD NOW THAT IT HAS TOUCHED ON THE HAPPY CLAPPY WHITE SUPREMACIST GROUPS, NOT TO MENTION THE RADICAL INSURECTIONISTS WITHIN THE C of E, THE METHODISTS AND THE PRESBYTERIANS (ALL OF WHOM ARE OVER 80 AND HAVE PURPLE OR BLUE HAIR) WHO KEEP ASIO ON THEIR TOES ON A WEEKLY BASIS LOOKING INTO THE ACTIVITIES AT THEIR TRAINING CAMP AT DG.

TURBINE RELIGIOUS BOOKS AND BOMB MAKING MANUALS PTY LTD ARE MAKING A FORTUNE ATM, INCLUDING THE SALES OF THEIR LATEST LINE OF BHM (BLUE HAIR MATTERS) SIGNS AND POSTERS.

29 minutes ago, onetrack said:

How can I.........

..... get my Evo52 - Mk3 - Reimagining6 to sell again?"

"I know" said Scott "Sell each one with 2 Pfizer jabs (even if they are a little out of date like a stale bottle of oysters) and every AUF member over 70 (which is just about 100% of the AUF membership) will rush to your door ........ and when I say "jabs" I am referring to a needleref not an avref".

"Beauty & gotcha Scott, so hallelujah to the highest (avref) and I'll send you ...........

THE SALES MANAGER OF TURBINE CCP GIVING THANKS FOR SCOTT'S HELP.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........equivalent to a 1957 Piper Tri Pacer that cruises at 173 kts and carries 4 people and their baggage.

Cappy was quite keen on it, but as we know, some people carry more baggage than others.

Turbo methodically worked on the issues, and followed an old marketing princople "if your products stuffed, call it exquisite." He called the changes "Evolutions" one of the buzz words of the millenials which can mean anything.

By Evo37 the aicraft were flying nicely and the facility turned a profit at Evo52. Just when ........

...... the evolutions were running out of steam, Turbine Marketing came up with the pitch that Evo53 would be "re-imagined" (which really just meant that the props would be painted a different shade of black) with the result that sales then kicked up again and the aircraft was similar (some say identical) to a Norman Islander except it was subject to worse harmonics and was even more like sitting inside a bass drum being beaten by Keith Moon when high (avref).

Turbine Marketing subsequently came up with the new pitch of selling each aircraft with one or more free Haval utes (which were designed and made by Turbine Haval Utes Inc, a subsidiary of Turbine CCP Pty Ltd (respect to all CCP dictators past and present) and the .......

THE STAFF MEETING EACH MORNING AT TURBINE CCP P/L.

TURBO IS 15TH FROM THE LEFT.

22 minutes ago, onetrack said:

There appeared to be serious QC problems with all the components already supplied, and the pallet racking in the warehouse was chock-full to the rafters with component boxes marked "REJECTED".

Once Turbo found out about this problem, he set about trying to solve it, in the fastest and cheapest manner. This involved re-labelling the component boxes with new labels, reading.......

..... "EXPERIMENTAL" and the problem was solved, as no matter how crappy the quality, every AUF member lusts after an upgrade to an ......

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

When the main fundraising meeting was over, and Turbo had promised $6 million more than Cappy had said he would donate, Turbo broke out the Barossa Pearl to this exclusive group. They all took one sip and started coughing, spitting, spluttering and ..........

..... turned back to Cappy to say in one voice "This stuff isn't as good as your cask of Ben Ean (which is well known on the B&S circuit as "Virgin's Surrender" [VS}) and this resulted in the .....

CLARIFICATION - Ben Ean is not referring to Eeaan's friend Ben (who is actually Moderator 46). - MOD 4.

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The rat always did have a yellow streak down his back,

DEAR EEEANN. Based on the above evidence I would like to file a complaint against Turdboy, centered on this personal attack and the denigration of a fellow Forum Member ............ even if what he said above might be true.

Surely this deserves another holiday for the TurgidPlonker as he has form in this area.

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........Rudi Giuliani.

On of the press yelled out "Haven't you just been disbarred?"

"Yes", said Rudi, but I was sick of being a lawyer anyway. Your clients all lie to you and........

..... many are card players (Turbo is a black belt at "Go Fish" and the CT plays "Snap" with himself after each shot, while waiting for the bunnies to stick their heads out again), but the rest are a bunch of losers, as well as ...........

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... you're a bunch of losers, as well as .........

 SO, DEAR READERS, THE YELLOW RAT (TYR) BRINGS THE NES BACK INTO HARMONY & ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

......profitable ventures such as The Happy Polster. This Polling Company doesn't mess around talking to the Chucks, Bobbies, and Billies and the Sue-Ellens, Dianes and Ethels that make up Middle America, they just give the candidate what he wants to hear, he campaigns twice as hard,  so of course usually wins. Trump has bought into this package so the Democrats should be quaking in their shoes. It's a nice clean system, explained the Head of Turbine PR, ........

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

....things as well like Trump cards {gambling ref} and the famous 56 card decks {another gambling ref} popular with fine decent up standing honest card sharks ..... sorry card players.....

The above 2 simultaneous yet divergent posts from Turbs and CT have left the brave Rat unusually flummoxed, as whichever he answers will result in the other being disappointed and beautiful friendships being quashed.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...............the crack in South LA.

 

The Stars all got their Challengers back out of Hock and Van Nuys came alive again. The lights came on in Vegas, and .......

 

.... Ann-Margret got another reprise to star in a remake, as that is all that Hollywood does these days, of Viva Las Vegas, Snow White and she will then play Whoopi's character of The Penguin plus the dual roles of Aretha Franklin & John Belushi in the remake of the The Blues Bros, which this time around will be called ......

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....and so the Governor sent California into Chapter 11.

Since the State could no longer pay its debts, South Dakota, Rhode Island, and Ohio froze any travel to California, New York donated $600 million provided it was used to get the drunks and beggars off the streets, and Texas donated some old Street lights they'd removed in favour of solar, 14 northern States followed suit even though solar didn't work up there.

The Governor then levied a tax on Hollywood, and all hell........................

 

....... broke loose, because in Chapters 12 & 13 he detailed his plans to merge Disney with Twitter, Sony with Google and CNN with the 4th pillar of Big Tech, Turbine Important Internet Stuff PLC (TIIS).

Mark, Jeff and Jack called Turbo who was too busy with the NES to talk to them at the time of their call & instructed his people to get back to their people, eventually (as Mark is a bit of a pain and often calls Turbo wanting tips and guidance [for free no less, as Marky is also a bit of a tightarse}), so they called Tubb back at a time of his choosing, just after he had knocked off his 2nd bottle of Grange, and  ...........

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

but the Nanny-State Disney Management shut the races down becase little kiddies were wandering across Main Street, and ......

...... the cute little nippers may have been hit by bits falling off the 'Vette when Turbs had his run. (The 'Vette revs all the way thru to 5000, don't ya know).

This shut-down meant that ......

TO ASSIST THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO READ EN FRANCAISE, HERE IS A PHOTO (LE KODAK) OF LA TINKERBELLE HIGH FLYING WITH THE CROWD LOOKING UP FROM THE GRANDSTAND (LE STAND GRANDE) IN AWE.

..... a good squiz at Tinker's (Belle, not Planner) delicious ......

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Tinkerbell was one of the Security Officers who had to move the drunks out of Hamburgerland, Steak House, Red Dog Saloon, Klondike Strike and Lasseters Last Ride, you'd be surprised what she could do with just a baton, and they all went meekly home every night. She looked back at Cappy, who unfortunately lost his footing on a discarded DisneyCone right at that moment, and she pulled out her baton and .................

.... used it in a "manner le bonne suggestife, silver plait".

It was fortunate that the baton then had to be removed before it ruptured something, as it was time for Tinkerbelle to strap into her harness and appear to fly(avref) over the crowd and land on Captain Hook's lap (the Capt Hook character was the subject of considerable competition for the gig to be Tinkerbelle's landing pad). However as she soared (AGFref) over the crowd, who all looked up in amazement, a young child said to his mere "Oh ma mère , regarde la bonne Belle Tinker who must be from the Follies Bergere, because elle a chaud as comme je peux le voir ses fesses et she is wearing no .....