Captain

23 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Turbo was quite put out by this rebuff by Twiggy, and set about trying to.........

.... buy his own PhD in wall building. (Final paperwork for the PhD needed to be redone when it said, under the University seal "Dr Turdbine").

But if there is one thing that the Twigster's Wall Building, Hydrogen Generating, and General Mining Company, and the blandly named Turbine Walls Inc, are jointly afraid would enter this competitive environment, it was that Trackbine Maginot Line Pty Ltd would take them on to upgrade the Rabbit Fence as well as the Dingo Fence.

The Twigster and Turdboy did a spoonfull (each) in a Zoom (avref) call when they heard that TMLPL were on the tender list but Twiggy winked at Turbo (who is very attractive - NTTIAWWT) as he knew that this shouldn't ultimately be a big issue because "Tenders" in WA are always a bit ........

(Cappy spent a lot of time in WA building Collie Power Station and a few mines, so he is well aware of the ethics of WA Inc)

WHAT IS PLANNED BY TMLPL FOR THE RABBIT FENCE

AND THE APPROVED TMLPL PLAN FOR THE DINGO FENCE

Although the flatness of the Nullarbor might be a bit of an issue.

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The stringing up started in WA and Marks started to panic but General OneTrack told him not to be a wimp and.......

.... that General OneTrack (who is a 4 Scar General [as he fell over a lot as a kiddie]) would call his counterpart in the Sudetenland military (who lives in a semi-detached hovel in Nth Adelaide, but close to the main site for Festivals and Food Expos) if there is any danger that Marky Mark might be liable to use the Catapult codes, which would .......

WA HAVE A BIG ONE OF THESE MOUNTED IN A TREE AT EUCLA

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....naked, unable to come up with new ideas, and just repeating the same mistakes.

For example, in the Sudetenland (funny how an old name quickly catches on, spelling  mistakes and all)  Steven "Patton" Marshall was talking to his Sudetenland (previously the boring South Australia) subjects, who, based on recent ethnic claims were 98% "First People" too, urging them to fight the hordes of heathen from the west. Not one of them has a com pass which points eat" he said, so most of them will finish up in Darwin anyway" He was to later regret his underestimate of General One Track, but now was telling the loyal people how as soon as Victoria had recruited 2,000 Indians to come in and assist at their hospitals which had been overrun by Covid, the Sudetenland SAS, had grabbed 1200 of them and were even now marching them across the border, and .......

.... would be used as support dancers in the next Adelaide Festival, as it is well known in Sudetenland that every time there is a problem, such as a failed State budget, Covid or WW2, that it can all be solved with another Festival down by the Torrens (and another suck on the GST tit - NTTIAWWTBTW).

However Steve objected to Turbo's reference to cannibalism in the middle of his post as he thinks it is only Labor and the Greens that eat their own. "We may well string those WA types up on fences like we do with foxes, but we will not eat 'em" he said in a written clarification.

This gave a clear mandate for SAPol and VicPol to combine into a mighty body of suppression and 50,000 pairs of jack-boots were therefore ordered from Turbine Bootmakers and BDSM Pty Ltd, where the factory was .......

21 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Well, we'll have to address this problem promptly", said Turbo. "Not only does that sort of problem ruin your social life, it adds to.........

...... your laundry bill.

A key example of that is that Dolph (family name still unknown) had to change his lederhosen regularly as everyone always thought that he was full of XXXX & wind, but nobody was game enough to tell him once he had the SS and the Brown Shirts in place.

It should be noted here that the same thing applies, even today, with the Fuhrer - Marky Mark McGitler in WA as he considers his next attack on the Sudetenland (the WA (and Afrikaans) name for South Australia).

The similarities between Marky Mark and Dolph H, Dan and Joey S, and comparison of SA's Marshmellow with Nev Chamberpot (Peace in our Time/No Covid in our Time etc) were all stark and .......

BELOW ARE A FEW EXAMPLES.

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Climate Change convention, where millions of people were freezing and wondered when the Ice Age would come.

Speakers at that seminar included...........

..... a couple of little known local players called Joey Starlin and a little Austrian bloke with a funny tash who I think might have been called something like Dolph Hitman or the like.

Joey spoke about the next "Ice Age" as he had just walked from St Petersburg through the desolate countryside with newspaper in his shoes and with nothing to eat (to assist younger NES readers to understand, it was like Mextoria under Dan, but not quite so bad) and Joey's main message to the Convention was ..........

JOEY GIVING THE "COME-ON" SIGN TO GRETA'S NANNA.

THIS OTHER BLOKE GAVE A SPEECH TOO, BUT NOBODY CAN REMEMBER HIS NAME.

(NOTE HIS UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO TURBO, AND THE SAME SHORTS TOO.)

(TURBO ALSO PLAYS WITH HIMSELF LEFT HANDED LIKE THAT AS WELL).

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

He got rid of the Japanese but the Japanese Air Force bombd Darwin the next night, and, NES readers, that started........

..... the long running debate about the effects of chlorine gas, napalm, general purpose explosives and the odd naval battle on Climate Change.

The official view of the Japanese government was that a bit of smoke & a few dozen bombs around Darwin was nothing more than the ancient practice "burning country" ("By bombing Darlin, we were contlibuting to the cultulal wellbeing of the native popuration" said the Japanese Ambassador at the time), while in Schveden, Greta's grandmother was pretty wound up about what the Germans had been doing (bombs, smoke, mustard gas and chlorine-wise), but more importantly she gave a speech belting up the Allies for selfishly flying so many bombers into Chermany ("And why did you western capitalist pigs need to crash so many of them, just because they were hit by a bit of flack and a few little fighters .... blah, blah, blah?" she added) at the 1943 ........

..... the Japanese pearl divers .....

..... an article on line for the Russian equivalent of CASA (which is basically 3 steps up on the CASA of WA [a new state body meant to reflect WA's independence & were all FIFO flights are now conducted in 1960's Llyushins]) where a civil pilot (avref) changed his .....

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

......but this was really only a con job to make it harder to trace the guilty. Blowing up the CASA inspectors car was just a tad naughty but the minor fact that not only was the inspector still in the car but also his assistant his adviser his secretary and his planner also. It would appear that CASA was a bit cross with it being exposed that not only loosing five dedicated staff but their four seat econobox was overloaded. That's right NES readers a CASA inspectors car more bums than seats but over MTOW. ....... 

..... and he had committed the cardinal sin 6 months ago, of changing a tyre himself, without .....

1 hour ago, bull said:

This time things did not quite go as planned and around the halfway mark a............................

.... radio call from bull alerted the entire squadron of bull's need for a pee, which immediately triggered contraction problems and crossed legs in the other 299 brave Thruster pilots (who had all been issued with a dozen free rum & cola cans as an after battle treat), thereafter using their right feet on the left rudder (which is now identified as "Crossed-P-Controls", and widely taught in the AUF Human Fuctors lectures for anyone whose bladder is over 40 years old).

"Geeez Louise" said bull "Find us an island, double quick time, and we can each single glandedly increase the ammonia content of their crops by .........

FURTHER NOTE AND WARNING TO ALL ON WRECK FLYING:

ALL OF bull's T300's HAD MADE IT SAFELY ACROSS THE DITCH FLYING IN A V-FORMATION, LIKE DUCKS, SO THEY MUST HAVE PICKED UP THE CROOK OIL IN MEXTORIA [WHERE ELSE?])

ALL HAVE BEEN CHARGED BY CASA AND THE AUF WITH "BEING NAUGHTY FLYBOYS", AS NONE HAD  FORMATION FLYING ENDORSEMENTS.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was a one sided battle................

..... fought out near the RFDS emergency strip a few clicks west of Ceduna and bull's swarm of T300's had no trouble locating OT's tanks, as they had all been painted in Komatsu yellow because OT had been moonlighting them as dozers up in the Kimberley for years to make a little cash on the side. (As a result, many had well over 30,000 hrs on the clock and struggled to get down through Kalgoorlie without a 6 months rebuild).

"Owning tanks and having them sitting around waiting for a war is tough going, cash-wise" commented OT is his defence "And it helped the Iron ore barons make a good quid too. It was just the long barrels on the cannon of each tank that were a problem, so we cut those down to 2 ft long (they are still imperial in WA & that is why they still call it Covid 12 over there) so that they did not get in the way of the blades that we added."

"They were like sitting ducks on the highway near Ceduna where the scene was akin to the final scenes of the Sadam war and bull's T300 pilots (there were 300 of them too) celebrated with a .......... 

THE RFDS STRIP NEEDS A BIT OF A CLEANUP

NONE OF BULL'S THRUSTERS WERE LOST IN THE BATTLE ALTHOUGH 170

OUTLANDED DUE TO SEIZURES BECAUSE OF MANKY 2-STROKE OIL.

NOTE THE NEW COLOURS OF THE TASMANIAN AIRFORCE.

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

It's a crying shame he got no mention in the credits, as his on-screen time was deemed inadequate, to score a mention in the credits. We include a snapshot of Cappy at his finest.....)

AS AN ASIDE TO THE NES - It is little known that Cappy's talent meant that he had a double-triple billing it that cartoon.

In addition to flying the aircraft, providing the voice-over, Directing, producing and drawing the pitchers, he also played the Devil himself.

This was a problem initially, as when Cappy spun around that fast "it" swung out about 3 ft, but all was good once "it" was all strapped back into place by a thick leather harness.

You will never hear this story elsewhere as Cappy is very modest.

TURBINE CARTOONS P/L AND TRACKBINE ANIMATIONS INC HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO MATCH CAPPY'S GREAT WORK.

AFTER THE LEATHER HARNESS

CAPPY'S MOST POPULAR POSTCARD, ALWAYS SIGNED

ON THE BACK AND NOW A COLLECTOR'S ITEM

WORTH $THOUSANDS

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

Besides, the Brunys were part and parcel of the Belt and Road Initiative, and nothing was going to stand in the way of......

..... the new "5 Dings Alliance".

As a result South Australia commenced freedom of navigation exercises through the Bass Strait using their latest rowboat (with a sail made of a woolen blanket).

This entire destabilization and the weakness of the 5 Dings Alliance (where Jacinda in NZ said that nobody is going anywhere near her Ding), encouraged WA to act like the equivalent of Nth Korea and Dear Leader Marky Mark McGowan started firing missiles over Rotty and appeared with a Kim Jong Un haircut (See below).

This mess needed sorting out quick stix with intervention by a strong man with democratic credentials and bull was our man. So he matched Marky Mark by growing his blonde locks long (also see below), wearing a red tie, married a model and .......

MARKY MARK MCGOWAN TRYING TO BE A STRONGMAN WHILE ATTEMPTING TO WIN

THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.

BULL WITH HIS NEW HAIRCUT, WHILE ALSO

TRYING FOR THE PEACE PRIZE.

(NOTE THAT A HAIR NET IS NEEDED IN THE JACKOFFROO)

..... Tony a hero in the "We love Dan" cult of non-personality that pervades in Mextoria, under the control of the VCP, where the ethnic minority in Darraweit Guim are the equivalent of the Uyghurs, Flinders Island is Taiwan, and ......

.... spitting out Mextorians, who they think taste like .....

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....your cods on a cold morning.“

That explanation gave the disguised CASA FoI time to pounce and hit bull with a month’s suspension for taking off with doors open. bull........

 

 

..... raised a finger, warmed his cods using their own little possum fur jumper, and yelled .....

..... engraved plaques were legislated for Qld registered aircraft that showed an arrow for UP and another for DOWN.

The success of this requirement was immediately evident in the accident statistics, so all Qld aircraft were then required to designate, via a sign, which end is the front of the aircraft and .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Big Bird reported that he'd been roosting on a branch of the big Ficus tree in the main street, where he couldn't be seen and bull had been picking up some of the ugliest and ..........

..... yet the most willing & creative of the local ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Ernie announced ......

.... that, regrettably after a lot of social media rumours, Aloysius Snuffleupagus has finally been charged with using his trunk to .....

HIS ARREST PICTURE

.....

10 minutes ago, bull said:

Turbo just smiled and said,have you checked your ti.....

......cker on 3 counts?"

The 1st is that it may not have extended now that daylight saving has started (as you wouldn't want that to happen at the bus stop or on the train every morning).

The 2nd is that it might just be the equivalent of a frightened turtle.

And the 3rd is that your ti......

..... extend past .....

7 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Oooohh, you naughty boy!!", the BBW exclaimed in delight. "I am lookink forward to zis wiz excitement, it must be better than.........

.... Christmas if you are to compete with Turbo.

And with OT's above post he became identified throughout the Ozzie Aviation Community (OAC) merely as a life support system for his .......

1 hour ago, bull said:

..... fklying ....

Only OT, the old smoothy, knew of the BBW's Lithuanian ancestry and therefore spoke to her in her native tongue, using emotive words such as "fklying", but this had the desired effect, as OT knew it would.

1 hour ago, bull said:

madam if you would like to come over here i,ll take you fklying in my jabiru best ......

"Amksk I korekt in aksuming that you meansk zat you haff en "Beast" there for me und is it ze zame as Turbo's?" the BBW asked in her best Lithuanian engrish.

OT blushed because he knew that he could not compete, but it was worth a try, so he .........

31 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"We'll let you into a little local secret", said the big buxom lady. "We use the meat from......

..... Koalas, as it is already infused with eucalypts and we don't need to add any spices. And speaking of spicing things up, I hear, dear Turbo, that after your botched circumcision with the oyster shell, you look like a Frill Necked Lizard, which is one of mine and the girl's favorite local animals, so give us a squizz and  .......

ONE OF TURBO'S SELF PORTRAITS