Captain

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....the re-education Commander Up Yu. First you have to give up gin, then.......but there was no time for a post change; Cappy had jumped up and run like an Olympian for the Yangtze river, jumped in, knocked a poor fosherman out of his Sampan and was paddling for the ocean. Luckily his usual mistake of leaving the roaming on worked for him and managed to get an urgent call away to OT to fly in (ancient av rev since there was no one left in RAA to organise one) and save him................

........ however when the fleet of AUF aircraft (avref) arrived, two things were evident:

1. That the AUF was alive and well & was operating very efficiently on the Turbinebook, Turbter & Turbosoft Dark Web in parallel with the RAA and most active aviators (avref) are actually AUF registered. (As a result of all of the Dark Web traffic, Turbo's private yacht is now bigger than Bill's and Turbo has become a Global Warming "Build Back Better" activist).
2. Over 2500 of the AUF Rag-&-Tube'ers who turned up were fitted with floats, so it was evident that the AUF (avref) has been encouraging seaborne floatplane operations and endorsements. "Bugger the expense of building a strip" said OT, who was the closet leader of the AUF Float-Plane Division (the AUFFPD).

The huge fleet of AUF aircraft (avref) blotted out the CCP Radar like a flock of raggy & tubey starlings and landed on the Yangtze in an effort equivalent to a combination of the Dam Busters Raid and the rescue of that bloke from the Nazi (Turboref) castle. As a result, Cappy was a saved hero, the AUF became the pre-eminent aviation (avref) organization in the world (with branches in 95 Countries) and the CCP were really pi.........

.... with that thought Cappy decided that some edumacation, some time around a campfire beside a river and some free dim sims would be a good investment for his future. After all, he has 2 kidneys & a couple of corneas, so even with rampant organ harvesting, poor sterilization techniques & blunt knives, what it the worst that can happen ...... if Cappy has a chance to come out with a degree in Astrophysics (almost an avref).

"I think you misunderstand what happens in re-education camps" said .......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......a resort of the Jetskis at his resort, but with a twist ...........

.... , and it is that twist which makes the jetskis so vital for the First Nations community .....

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Chine itself, palm trees swaying in the gental breeze, native girls swaying to hip hop and his resort manager lazing by the pool with Cappy's cigars and gin bottles. A few minutes later, with a new resort manager in place, Cappy .......

.... decided to resort to .....

.... was very impressed by Turbo's actions, as he always has been, so he decided to pay a formal State Visit to the Spratleys and to travel there via Freo (for a coffee near the goal), Geraldton (for some free crayfish) and via Carnarvon (where he would drop off 2 Teddy Bears in return for the photo Op) and then his entourage would proceed onward and upward (avref) to visit ......

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Fly Lice and Mook. For those that don't know Chine is one of the Spratley Isands where ..............

.. the Spratley Islands Communist Party (SICP) has taken over after they decided that recent bad press by Xi & the CCP meant that a rebranding was necessary.

The country has therefore been renamed, the flag has been changed to brue and the slogan "By Spratrey" has been registered with the ......

..... terrible news that the Brownes' (note clever & appropriate use of apostrophe) signature catchphrase "How Now Brownes Cow" has been altered by the Chine based marketing company to .....

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The OT dynasty is made of stern stuff, with the ability .......

....... milk it for all it's worth when the occasion requires ...........

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........turn into a sauce worthy of the street restaurants of Melbourne, but as they started to dig, a gold ring with an enormous emerald came up, followed by a jewelled sceptre, and more and more fabulous jewels.

Had they stumbled on the lost lost treasure of .................

...... the infamous pirate Captain McGowan (1650 - 1697) and his 1st Mate Onemous Track (1670 - 1707 and the start of the WA Royalty UNiroute family) (some say they were more than just mates (NTTIAWWTBTW) if you get my drift, as Onemous was 20 years younger, had started his career as a Cabin Boy (NTTIAWWTE) where he had performed .......

IT WAS A TRACK FAMILY TRAIT (TFT) TO HAVE A BIG SWORD AND OT CONTINUES

THAT TODAY, BEING UNABLE TO WEAR SHORTS IN SUMMER.

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....offer a thousand dollar prize for the best steak, contestants to find their own source. Since there were no sheep, goats or cattle on the Houtman Abrolhos, this was only going to go one way, and..........

..... there was also a problem finding components for sauces (other than some bones in shallow graves), which offered potential to boil up and ..........

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"On me mother's grave" said O'Reilly, I though they were all coming out to refugee a boxing tournament!"

What were they to do? ........

.... but head up to the Houtman Abrolhos and O'Reilly would reenact the Cornelisz canibalistic doctrine, whereby he would .....

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo knew there would be trouble with Border Patrol, which these days was full of ex-CASA FOIs, and castigated O'Reily.

EDITOR'S NOTE : Even Moderator 12, the one who has always been a bit of a dick, thinks that ex-CASA FOI's cutting O'Reilly's off, is a bit radical in these circumstances. After all, castigation makes your voice go higher and is permanent.

(Note how this post follows Turbo's lead and makes no mention of his O'Leary/O'Reilly confusion. Cappy is a 100% loyal mate to Turbo.)

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The generators of six ships which would be anchored off the coast.

The ads said "O'leary, cheap as chips in Zero Emission aircraft" and Australia booked them out for three months within twenty minutes.

Some people said that they weren't zero emission, because the C17s and the generators on the ships would be belching so much CO2 that it may even turn into CO3.

O'Leary smiled and said "There will always be doubters, but we're good to go with zero emission" and the population of Australia believed an Irishman anbd ignored the hero that stopped the boats back .............

..... when they were full of refugees.

The O'Leary plan was exposed when three panamax sized frieghters full of 300,000 te of Hunter Valley coal (and not the good low ash/high energy stuff either) berthed beside the C17 generator ships. (O'Leary had gone the whole hog with his green pitch and had advertised the generators as being powered by wave energy and tidal flows, however they were actually fired by pulverised fuel made from died turtle's eggs and stillborn Quocka Joeys ........ or directly from coal (which he subsequently claimed was derived from petrified turtles).

Marky Mark initially supported those ships coming to WA territorial waters, as O'Leary was as cunning as Turbo and had the decks of the ships packed with refugee kiddies, some of which were made up to look like Cleo (even through they were 18 and being paid $35/hour), [Marky Mark planned to give them each 2 Teddy Bears made from Quocka fur] but the teenage nippers on the bottom deck had black legs from standing in coal, while waving at passing ABC and Nine Network chartered aircraft (avref) and ............

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......sell him some C17s cheap, and these would be fitted with propellor driven generators. 

Shortly after take off when the passengers were getting tired, the C17 would pull in front of the passenger aircraft and extend the charging cord; all current technology, and the C17 would charge the passenger aircraft all the way to the destination, where ........

..... the C17s would be recharged by a network of Elongate Muskstick's "Testies" brand of Big Batteries that, in turn, would be charged by .......

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

Hello everyone .... I'm back.

The Ratso is relieved to see OT back on the NES as he was greatly missed and Ratso thought that OT may have become the new Cleo Smith, with OT having been kidnapped and kept hostage for their personal use in Carnarvon by some CWA ladies with whom Mavis may have conspired. (Mavis has previously described OT as "The most attractive and physically functional of all known NESers" which is a pretty big claim).

21 minutes ago, Captain said:

31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Mal Turnbull buying dud subs from the French and, ..........

..... selling Chinese bacon that he marketed as "Fried Rice Infused", which puts a clever spin on Turbo's human excreta expose.

Mal is a tainted food marketing genius.

Crap at Politics and Republics, mind you.

But great at selling excreta.

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Nearly as dumb as Mal Turnbull buying dud subs from the French and, ..........

..... selling Chinese bacon that he marketed as "Fried Rice Infused", which puts a clever spin on Turbo's human excreta expose.

"I quite like that fried rice infusion taste in my bacon" commented OT (after all he was used to WA produce) "And I went out with a beautiful Chinese lady a few weeks ago, who used to be Eric Swalwell's spy girlfriend, and she tasted like that too, when I .......

ERIC WITH OT'S CHINESE LADY FRIEND. (ECKA HAD BEEN THERE 1ST)

IT WASN'T A HONEY TRAP, IT WAS A FRIED RICE TRAP.

PS - CORRUGATED IRON IS THE NEW KEVLAR.

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............public speaker on the subject of Recreational Aircraft [avref], and ....

..... "The Theory & Practice of Hypersonic Flight" (patents & copyright with Cappy's Fast Aircraft Inc [IPO looming]), which is the area where Ratso has been consulting at great expense (to them) to the Chinese Military for the past 10 years, resulting in the recently successful circumnavigation test. The lessons learnt are soon to be applied to Recreational Aircraft, hence the formation of CFAI, so we will all be able to flick over & back the see Onesie for a $5,000 hamburger each Saturday morning, and be back in time for the footy.

As Cappy often does, he opened his speech with "I hold these truths to be self evident, that the Chinese Leadership & Military are inherently non-aggressive, Covid 19 originated in frozen food that came from Greenland, Taiwan has bugger all to worry about, and Sweet & Sour Pork tastes like .........

THE ORIGINAL PATENT AS FILES BY JEDI INDUSTRIES (DRAWN BY CAPPY HIMSELF)

[FOR THE QUICK FLICK OVER TO SEE THE UNITRACK, THE RE-ENTRY WILL OCCUR 

JUST WEST OF CEDUNA, READY TO GLIDE UNDER THE MCGOWAN BORDER RADAR]

AND HERE IT IS AS STOREN AND RODGED BY A CHINESE COMPANY

NAMED STARR WALLS INDUSTLIES NO RIABIRITY

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...wrong. Cappy at heart was an honest sort of character, except when chatting up chicks, and he was torn between making money and cheating (except with chicks like Mavis), but nobody notived he was cutting with the back of the axe. The audience was mostly worn out mothers who'd found the few seats at the show to rest and were able to turn the kids loose among the axemen hoping they'd be knocked out or at least slowed down by flying chips.

 

It was this way for Cappy for seven years until one day, when he was cutting with the handle .........................

..... his blows were so powerful and effective that he still won the event.

This is what elevated him, amongst the righteous working class men (and chicks) to be considered as a .......

...... the fact that Cappy-the-Champion-Woodchopper (CtCW) was using the back of the axe, failed to tell Tubb that something was terribly .....

CAPPY IS THE BIGGEST AND FASTEST ONE BELOW, AND THE CHICKS LOVE IT.

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....show up in his Daimler (he was one of the Devil's as well), and they had to fall in behind him.

They would all gather at the Clock's Arms afterwards and Bob would hit up Phil for another Australian Tour where they would play two up while Phil's wife opened the Sydney Easter Show in the days when people attended it, and .........

..... got their rocks off looking at the fruit displays.

But Turdboy was always way more interested in the unique ......

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....Opposition started waking up to the fact that three quarters of Australia's budget was spent on Bob's trips to England where he was ......

.... also a member of the Humber Super Snipe Hot-up & Applreciation Society, which Bob had to be a member of for 25 years before he could be admitted to the Rover 3500 Burnout Club, where Phil The Greek would ......

THIS IS THE ROVER THAT ALWAYS GOT "LITTLE-BOB" STANDING TO ATTENTION

THIS IS THE CHOPPED AND CHANNELED SUPER SNIPE THAT LIZ & PHIL

USED TO LEAVE THE RECEPTION ON THEIR HONEYMOON. THEY REALLY 

GAVE THE BACK SEAT A TORID WORKOUT TOO WHEN THEY COULDN'T

WAIT, ON THE LONG DRIVE TO THEIR HONEYMOON PUB.

(THE CANS, DUNNY PAPER AND PHALIC SIGNS HAVE SINCE BEEN REMOVED).

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

What a fantastic shot of the 56 Chevy!

And of Dame Patti before she got old.

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He put up a good front, in fact a double breasted front in his suits during the day, but at night Canberra rocked to the sound of his Ford Customline with the supercharged 272 and 8 inch slicks, and he was making smoke most of the night which .......

..... meant that he had to buy some mirrors, before the .....

THIS WAS BOB'S FAVOURITE T-SHIRT THAT HE CHANGED INTO EACH DAY AFTER QUESTION TIME.

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....who was actually a cousin of Cappy. That’s the current Satan; they die to you know usually because their prong gets blunt. This one was a gin swiller too so he and Cappy got up to all sorts of mischief in .....

.... purgatory, which is the name given to the back bar at the Blue Oyster, where the All Star Band that plays every night (without a drinks or dunny break, so it really is hell) comprises Judas (Lead Guitar), Pontius Pilate (Rhythm Guitar), Turbo (Bass) and The Snake (on drums) .... although The Serpent's repertoire is a bit limited because he can only use one ............

THE BUST (NTTIAWWT) OF PONTIUS IN THE ROCK & ROLL HALL OF FAME.

PONTIUS'S GIBSON IS IN A SHRINE IN THE JERUSALEM HARD ROCK CAFE.

HE WAS 2000 YEARS AHEAD OF HIS TIME BY GOING GREEN.