Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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..... she noted that the Chinese navy had recently circumcised Australia, but he was not, so she took out her trusty 1st Nations oyster shell, complete with certificate of authenticity and tiny dot painting, she lit a gumleaf and welcomed Xi to OZ, then flashed the oyster shell and said "Drop 'em Xi, old mate, and by the power vested in me by the NSW Walloper's Association I'm about to take a sample of your ......
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.... he swooned, as not many of his conquests were actually voluntary, so this was a rather unique experience, particularly as she still had blood on her teeth from munching on Cappy's arm. And she is a Ranga Skippy White Eyes (RSWE) too, so an outstanding opportunity to explore whether ......
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... embraced the opportunity and .....
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But sometimes the Khybers weren't as dangerous as the Pommy Officers.
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.... that old tourism moto "You'll love every piece of Victoria" has come true, except that the pieces involve various extremities and ......
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..... the cutting implements used to do the slicing of the pizza. There are no circular pizza cutters in Mextoria as they use machetes and have developed a flourishing pizza cutting procedure that may have cultural significance in 100 years, when all Melbournistan natives will wear a machete proudly, like a Gurkha and his kukri. This is evidenced by the amount of pizza splatterings around the machete bins and the fact that ....
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.... as it was just the usual Moorabbin night out, and Xi was hooking in with the best of them. It was OT who expressed the initial concern, as while he was enjoying the mayhem and was hitting them as quickly as Tubb and Cappy could grab them, he had never been in the wilds of Vicmanistan before, but had read horror stories about ......
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..... so they contained their usual aggression, short fuses and their "All for one and One for All" mantra. This was a time to add diplomacy to their usual UFC Cage Match approach to international relations, so they invited Xi, Doubty, Nob and the other girls for a Thai feed up the main drag in Moorabbin, where they could have an entre taking on the local Machete Gang, and then ......
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.... Turbo's agonizing about whether to ask Xi about Doubtfire, with the chance that he might dob her in, or does Turbo just pretend that he doesn't know her and cast her to the wind. But then, would you believe it dear readers, Doubtfire stepped out of the ladies dunny and indicated Shshshshsh, as Xi had picked her up in the Spratleys, mentioned something about building a house, or carpet and drapes etc and gave her the chance to experience the ......
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..... fixed it with his Sydchrome set and a #4 Sledgy. (Not many people know that those tools are named after that tool Syd Turbine III) Xi was super grateful as he hadn't signed for the aircraft and had taken it as a foreign order, with a couple of ladies from Guang Jau, and without .....
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.... Now our sheepdogs can be spoken to in Engrish (even the sheep speak half Japanese) as those dogs have no idea what "Come By" means, so that's why they bite 1st then ask questions while wearing a kelpie sized katana, and why they have Welcome to Changi written on the yards outside the shed and the moto "Making wool will set you free". That dear readers is also why the stock reports from Cowra always run late, as Nobu (while looking all Skippy in his RMW gear and Akubra) always buys and sells in yen and the auctioneer has to use his calculator before taking the next bid (conversion rate today is 112.69 yen to the Pacific Peso). The sheep and dogs are also sick of bowing to each other at the start of each mustering operation, and most have an aversion to Saki, unless of course ......
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..... saying what he used to say to his black haired mates at school where Cappy was one of the few blonde haired, blue eyed Aerian Viking types, that "You new Australians are all the same" even if they were Italians, Griks, Chinese or any other brand. But then he added "However, Nob, you have been in Cowla longer than I was in the womb + Kindy, so I reckon that you are, by-now, an honorary ......
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.... , so Tubb showed him a photo of the new Drifter and Nobu was transfixed (+ aloused). "XXXX the Zelo" he said, took off his headband, and touched Tubb's arm in a way that eased his concern about being asked to kneel in front of a Samurai and .....
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..... he became aware of Albo's 2nd indiscletion where he spoke dislespectfurry about the Japanese PM's merons. "I'm shocked and appaured" said Nobu "Although I must confess that they aren't bad and better than a few Aussie chicks from Cowra who got them out when they fell in rove with me due to Stockholm Syndlome ............ but for Arbonese (the XXXXXXX) to say that about our new Plime Minister was way beyond the pale and he should ......
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.... " said Nobu when he leant that Doubtfire was again claiming precedence in the NES, and let me tell you, Dear Readers, that the "XXXXXXX" word used by Nobu is prohibited for use in polite Japanese society (although it was used off mike by the Mayors of Hiroshima & Nagasaki) and even the Yakuza think that it is crass and ......
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.... , and on reading that, Cappy wondered whether Nobu had spent some time in India .... or in Tarneit (NTTIAWWT). However, as it turned out Nobu (known as The Nob to his mates) was just .... All NESers are reminded that sometime soon we need to zip back up and look after Doubtfire who is exposed.
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.... that cynical response undervalues the worth of present day Chinese manufacturer certification. Crappy recently bought 6 outside lights that were Chinese certified to be IP65 dust and waterproof, which leaked during the 1st heavy dew, but I am certain that aviation hinges would be manufactured to a higher standard, although nobody recognizes the approval numbers that have been quoted for those National and aircraft manufacturer's standards .... but I'm sure they will be OK, although my standard limit of Liability and Warranty clauses do apply, especially the one that says "If Turdy has a big one it's nothing to do with me." Just then, Nobu must have walked past a computer on his way to Ninja practice, as I received a message which said "G'day Clappy. Prease add to the NES that I did not say "XXXX the guards" as leported by Turdy. What I actuarry said was "XXXX the XXXXs" and when they heard that they ......
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..... Turbo hopes to be just like him when he is over 50. Because Turbo is my best mate, I have bought him a full set of C210 aileron hinges off ebay, as the Chinese manufacturer certifies that they meet or exceed all Australian, US, Boeing and Airbus standards, so they will .....
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However OT, ever the WA inventor extraordinaire, carries a carbon fiber stepladder of his own unique design which enables him to do some quite tall stuff, sufficient that he always checks the colour of his fingernails for hypoxia (after scraping off the Cat brand grease and WA sand-based grime).
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.... parking up whenever Turbs was lucky enough to locate a Grongy Chic (the mythical GC) who was willing to go down .....
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..... , which is a particularly cruel term to use to describe a height challenged person, but being a bit stumpy is ....
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While Cappy and Turbo will always call it Grongy, and have fond memories of their exploits there. Turbo is having trouble at the moment accepting that he was and is Gen Baby Boomer, whereas he is also "hip" & now behaves like he is Generation Alpha (2013 to 2024), where he brings potato chips, Coke and ruskets to a TikTok dance — and still steals the show, and he calls memes ‘those funny picture postcards’ and prints them out for sticking onto his fridge using with Freightliner & Offenhauser fridge magnets.
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.... ? The .....
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.... the sounds of .....
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PS .... Both OT and bull have been quiet for a while. Hope they are OK.
