Captain

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....this particular region was known for its gas reserves. The problem was that wen these gases were mixe in with those there was a reaction which nobody expected and..........

..... 15 minutes after they started pumping, Jimmy Hoffa popped up from under the piano keys on 18, which was the 1st runway to have been poured.

Jimmy was one thing, but when Tony Soprano and Frank Sinatra, then Harold Holt popped up next it became the subject of ......

12 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......'coz the old D6 belches so much smoke no one can see to escape.......

......, but then the CT, helped by UN (Not THE UN, just CT's mate UN) & encouraged by the DG Department of Environment, decided to adopt carbon, methane and pong sequestration and the first sequestration holes were drilled below the Regional Airport, such that the gasses were injected back into the region from which they came .......... an ideal and very efficient practice ................ except that..........

22 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......charged up by the fumes from the rotting bodies........

..... for which he was nominated for the Chris Bowen Environmental Award (the CBEA) for methane and pong reduction, which assisted the DG EPA to meet its goals & quotas of .....

34 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......a notam has been issued for the Darraweit Guim regional airfield   ----18 / 36 closed for resurfacing works effective 0830z to 2300z ....

... which is the 1st time that 30 Italian plated Fiat airconditioned coroner's van type panel vans have been part of the resurfacing of any regional airport, let alone the mini-crane and the alternating topping and tailing of human subsurface fill.

The 30 vans then drove to a secluded & high security area of the airport, where the likes of Presidents and Meghan Markle disembark, and were loaded onto an Alitalia 380 heading back on a non-stop to Palermo.

The CT was rubbing his hands together about the lira contribution to the DGRA retirement fund, with CT as sole Director (what a ct), to which the men in black had contributed.

So CT and UN hit the nightclubs in DG with intent to ..........

THE ALITALIA 380 FREIGHTER, AS PHOTOGRAPHED BY THE DG TOURIST

COMMISSION, AND SEEN HERE TAXIING FOR DEPARTURE @ DGRA

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo did laugh at Cappys deep joke; he laughed so hard that he dislocated his nose and had to patch it with duct tape, and missed the next line.

 

... Oh, don't tell me that you have cheap electrical tape across your nose again ...... and they have made you wear that bike helmet all the time again too?

.... with the excess soil .....

Come on Tubb, that last post of mine about CT's nan is surely worth a grin????.... or even a little titter? (Mavisref)

..... erect .....

.... called himself a member of the Nangreta in memory of his nan, Greta.

Tizz was in a tizz after half of his crew did a Donald McKay. "You can bury quite a few under 5000 m of pavement" said the CT, who had been selling hole borer stand up or head-down lots in Sicily, Griffith and Ingham for the past 10 years, and this made him ......

CT AND HIS MATE UN, PREPARING THE END OF THE RUNWAY

FOR ANOTHER 10 M EXTENSION IN ORDER TO HANDLE

ANOTHER DELIVERY FROM SICILY.

..... an immediate funeral, but would possibly be delayed 45 minutes or so until the blokes in black could ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Tizz was a bad loser and put a horse head in CT's bed. CT, known locally as "12Gauge" wasn't a wimp and retaliated with a string of four dozen rabbit heads along Tizz's front fence. One of the looked like his daughter and Tizz ........

....... and convened a council of war.

"Get me some info on this ct that calls himself CT and where he live-a" said Tizz.

"We know him from his attempt to build another Melbourne Market to flog off bunnies at Darraweit Guim" said one of Tizz's Cappos.

"Where the F is Darraweit Guim?" Tizz replied.

The Cappo thought and then said "Good question mate. It is a delightful rural location encompassing 5 rivers (although it is beyond me why anyone would want 5 of the buggers when it is raining worse than Noah experienced) and CT has a country residence there, with a 5000 m strip that would be ideal for flying in our cargoes of ...........

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He needed to buy an Airline to carry the volume, and the aircraft he used exclusively were .........

...... provisioned to serve the duty pilot with feline steaks (we'll use moggies and call them Indian leopards), served with spuds and broccoli that are grown at ......

6 hours ago, onetrack said:

Or maybe his speech papers were replaced by Madalena Moniz's wonderfully-written emotive piece, "An Alphabet of Feelings", and Turbo was undecided whether to release his emotions publically, and whether to start with A or U or S or ......

...... as Turbo has so often said to me, Madalena M was a student and admirer of his and the book was loosely based on Tubb's plethora of feelings.

"What's wrong with that" replied Tubb "As I am proud of Madalena's admiration".

There has always been just one issue and that is that Tubb can run through his entire range of 26 emotions while just having one of his .......

TURBO DEMONSTRATING JUST 2 OF HIS 26 EMOTIONS

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....ABC broadcast "Today I feeeela........................................................................................Victorian."

(Looking around) "Today I feeeela......................................................................................Queenslander."

(Looking around) "Today I feeeela................................................Tasmani...........no don't feel that bad."

(Looking around) "Today  feeeela................................................................

 

..... little bit abstract."

Cappy sat back over his morning caffein, considered the TurgidPlonker's latest post and worried about his dear friend, but then decided to leave a full response to bull, Onesie or Planey who are astute and erudite, so they might be able to decipher the subliminal or other messages in what, to me, seems like a breakdown of .......

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..."Greetings Comrades past present and emerging, and Ita..........",but he got no further becaise someone noticed he didn't have an LBGTQM armband on, and that ............... 

..... , once criticized, forced Turbo to show just where he was wearing the "armband".

Turbo flexed and out flopped an LBGTQM (+ XYZ in Turbo's case) which was expanded to breaking point and was around his magnificent .......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........the new Turbine Finance BitBamboo currency, said to be worth its weight in gold.

Jabiru who always keep a close watch on the NES for new technical developments, jumped at the concept of bamboo TUK TUKs and paid BtBOO 3.5 million for a licence to build them. powered by their Gen5 engine it looked like it might be a winner for OUtback Mustering, so they ................

..... were well ahead of the game when the Crypto Crash meant that Turbine Finance's 3.5 million BtBOOs could be repaid for less than the cost of a Big Mac.

Jabiru, ever the generous entrepreneur, sent Turbo a double Big Mac and a legal letter discharging the loan plus 2 sets of chopsticks as an interest payment.

Turbs became known the skippy Blankman-Fryed and gave an interview to the ABC where he said ........ 

....scepticism, surprise, amazement, cynicism, interest from crypto losers and .....

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

........after you've already had to put out three fires, and jump wire the lighting circuit with a swiss army knife, as well as ................

...... winding in the 30 metres of 20 amp fuse wire that had been deployed out of the dunny as a last-minute attempt to ......

34 minutes ago, Captain said:

........... 

The current silence within the NES (actually NS), while sure to have been welcomed by Planey, has been sponsored & brought to you by Turbine Industries together with Turdy's best and long-term mate, friend, advisor and business partner ... Cappy, and has been implemented as a tribute to electric aircraft development everywhere, and particularly to the blissful silence that all passengers will hear when holding over a weather effected runway when the hold period exceeds 34 minutes and 30 secon ......

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

........... 

So Tinky Wank has gazzumped Cappy again due to being oblivious of page chages. Will he ever learn?

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

Now it was Doubtfires turn, and she sat in her trapped car and laughed and laughed and laughed - but then came the questions amongst the assembled coppers. Who could drive a Finemores Kenworth and move it? They all looked at each other, and one young copper piped up, "I know.......

 

..... from my father, who had a fleet of heavy trucks that used to move "produce" for the Griffith "guys", and my dad spoke to me in hushed tones about somebody who was a legend of the heavy haulage caper. My dad said that this guy was a guru but always hid his light under a bushel yet knew it all. I'm sure if I ring dad, he could arrange for this mystical person to come down here. But I'll also ask dad about this derolict old scrubber who is up in the cab now & reaks of Tia Maria, Maria and rotting teeth. What name did he give you?"

"His name is Mr. A. Turbine Plonker, but that makes him sound much better than he is, so it is probably a fake ID" replied the other copper.

The 1st walloper fell to his knees and did a spoonfull. "That's the guy" he stammered breathlessly & fell again prostate to kiss Turbo's feet (erky perky) like Mother Teresa and the Pope.

"Don't kiss my ring" said Turbo and the copper replied "Don't worry about that Sir Turbo, because as legendary as you are, there is no way that I am ever going anywhere near that, and he was then violently ......

Bloody auto correction..... that should have read ..... tranny night ....

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

 

Turbo exclaimed, "It rolled onto its back, so Cappy must be driving it!! I've seen him do that so many times, in the........

..... Blue Oyster on tyranny night, when he & Loxy were known to .....

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

This couldn't last.........

..... which is exactly what she always said about Turbo, and surprisingly that was backed up by the Committee of the Moorabbin CWA who, to a lady, felt that Turbo's ability to "last" was akin to his .....

12 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Meantimes, Turbo had turned his attention to another voluptuous member of the Gumly CWA, who appealed to him more, because she was greatly interested in aviation heroes, and mistakenly thought Turbo was one.

This rather attractive woman was known as..........

...... a bit of a goer. (That was back in the days when you could think & say in such terms, but not now of course).

Now she is known as a her/she/it/mademoiselle/fraulein, but Tubb's special name for her is .......