Captain

..... Albo Namatjira painted Cappy looking all inspirational & visionary, gazing off into the distance thinking about all matters AUF.

"We'd also like to make you another of our Emerging Elders" said Albo as you are certainly old enough to be an Elder.

"I'm more interested in getting onto the Board of Elders and pocketing my package of incentive shares ........ but respect & groveling + let's have a smoke etc" replied Cappy, who always kept his eyes on the .........

18 hours ago, bull said:

a well known point of entertainment down at the strip,,the boys would gather and crack their stubbies and sit back and watch "snake" trying to land a drifter,,,he bounces so many times he can log in 10 landings and takeoffs in one landing!! Maybe we should..........

..... encourage him to come all the way out and ditch the flying suit (but not the Drifter) (Planey sanctioned avref) and just wear his slip as his flying attire.

Snake's POI's became even more famous when one of the 1/2 p*ssed boys took a video of Snake's landing attempts and it went viral on YouTube, to the extent that the AUF, the US's Top Gun School and the Ukrainian Airforce used the video in the "What Not To Do" section of their training syllabus, resulting in Snake undertaking a world-wide lecture tour of all 107 airforce academies.

"Stuff being Treasurer of Straya" said Snake, who actually didn't really have a clue to fix all the issues, plus he also though Chris Bone was a bit of a dick, so Snake oscillated off into the sunset to ......

PART OF SNAKE'S OSCILLATION PROBLEM IS THAT HE HAD THIS TAPED ONTO THE

DRIFTER'S EXPANSIVE INSTUMENT PANEL AND HE WROTE DOWN THE ANSWERS DURING THE LANDINGS.

SNAKE'S LECTURES WERE ABLE TO SOLVE THIS TYPE OF INCIDENT AND THIS TYPE OF THING

NEVER HAPPENED AGAIN THEREAFTER.

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....do loops and stuff, or have fun.

But "Snake" had made one fatal slip - ................

...... which he had sewn with his mum's pedal operated Singer (that seemed appropriate to use when a Drifter was involved) and which he wore under his flying suit, and explained away by saying ..........

........ he called in Jimmy "The Chalmer" Chalmers who followed long established Labor principals (sic) and said "Bugger low cost housing or solving the few thousand other issues, Albo's government is going to provide a Drifter, complete with a brand new unseized blue-head, to every member of the NDIS, to each of our 1st Nations brothers (and sisters), to everyone who is on the Childcare tit, and to all Seniors so that they can all .................          

..... the inverse ratio (which has nothing to do with the angle of the dangle) means that rag & tube aircraft (avref) often .....

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........but he was interrupted by  nosewheel at about head height and then a pair of mains haging down and he looked up to see a gloved finger pointing down from a Hornet.

Turbo's hd that a few times and reports that there is noting more chilling.

As Anthony pulled the throttle back and pointed the Drifter's nose at the ground he wondered who had dobbed him in, then realised it was .................

..... Planey, who was against aerial (avref) shenanigans in general (he is even against discussing it in the "Great Fun but Highly Illegal" section of the Incidents & Accidents subsection of WF), but cavalier PM based flying high jinks really gets on Planey's goat (viz what Planey did to Ben Chifley, as reported by carrier pigeon, when Ben got carried away and did "it" in the back seat of that Gipsey Moth) , so Planey called CASA, the RAA, the AUF and the RAF, and as he has said so many times on Wreck Frying, "The sum of the .......

....... that made Anthony take the usual AUF certified counter measures (of using wrong rego numbers and erroneous calls).

He grabbed the 2-way and said "Hi Mon in da cool Can Berry area, dis is Bob Marly in da F22-1934 and I is about to get high" then he issued another radio call using his sweetest femaile voice (Anthony can sound sweeter than Julia [or even Kevin] ever did, when he is in that mood) "Hello chaps & chapettes around Canberra, this is the PM's blond female companion in ragwing 69-181 and I am about to fly my recreational vehicle prezzy over to The Lodge for the PM's birthday, (when I will also give him that other present that nobody knows how to wrap), so please have all of those naughty commercial passenger aircraft keep away until I can ............

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Right in the way of his alligator shoes was a strut braced Drifter. [We should mention that Anthony is a former Minister for Aviation, where he single handedly let CASA out of the bottle].

He got in ...........

......to a bit of a lather, because ......

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......they asked him if English was spoken in Australia, and when he said yes, put him next to the Jamaicans. 

In the finish, Anthony said "XXXX the smoking ceremony, let's go my First Nations brothers, and 76 Jamaicans climbed on board the VIP aircraft bound for Australia with no Visas................................

 

..... but were charged excess baggage for all the wacky tobacky.

"Yeah Mon, stay cooool" said Anthony to the Customs official, as he put on his dreadlock wig and .......

ANTHONY IN HIS DREADLOCK RUG.

THE DESIGN ON HIS MELON SHOWS ALL THE ROUTES TAKEN ON HIS OVERSEAS TRIPS SINCE BECOMING PM.

27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....usually a humpy outside the Noongar Line, (an imaginary line for an imaginary tribe).

Anthony wasn't up with this becaise he was from Sydney, but he had a plan to learn about Australia which was why he was spending so much time in the air gathering information from all round the world, but this led to a ...........

..... heated discussion at his local in Balmain, where his Labor party issued dinkum aussie acubra was banned and he had to wear a peru printed caftan and his usual dread-locks hairpiece, and there he spoke in depth about how he was just seated in row 304 (26 rows behind the dunny cleaner from Buck House) at Liz's funeral, but he was still pretty sure that he really was still important, because ...... 

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......but he was knocked over in that great Australian tradition of 7 smoking ceremonies a day, but only at work, and they knocked over Anthony too because he was a former defector from the Printers and Allied Trades Union and had left them, with dues owing, to take up a position as spin doctor for a prominent developer called Eddie About.

It was when announcing a new high density 50 story block of Apartments that the story got out that Anthony ............

 

.... had issued an edict (in his case it is a dickdict) that all smoking ceremonies must take place only in prescribed locations outside high-rise office buildings, which was a bit of an issue in Moorabbin and WA, where the nearest high-rise was .....

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"......compensation to our Elders past present and emerging, like Chuck Bubba Gubba, Mike Mallacoota and Leroy Mullawamullaga, and Auntie Joan."

 

"Where is this new weapon of war?" asked Anthony the Great.

"You're looking at it" said Guillaume MontMartre giving his men a worried look.

"It's capable of taking out 7 Russian tanks per hour" he said, and ............

..... I will now have Uncle Alan of the Moorabbin Nation's work avoidance division, undertake a smoking ceremony, as he still has a few unfiltered Craven A's left in his metal smoke box, and then tell all of the advantages of this fine weapon, which is not only a tank killer but is also certified (bull ref) to .......

........ a certain end to the war, as I, the great statesman Albo (some already refer to me as Anthony the Great), have offered Vlad his very own "Voice" to the Stray'yen Parlment, which will be structured similar to the way that DG and Moorrabbin will be independently represented (but not Tazzy or the Sand Monkeys (SM's)) and will have input for ..............

On 05/08/2022 at 4:10 AM, turboplanner said:

....refrain from kidnapping young floosies,

I ask all NESers to note the time of Turbo's above post.

My training in undercover military matters makes me wary to advise the following until DNA test results are returned & checked, however it is clear that the successful drone (avref) strike against Ayman Al Zawahiri occurred just minutes after this time and it appears that Turbs may have made this post then walked out onto his balcony to give them a morning scratch and to have a quick durry.

The above photo looks just like Turbo at the last Natfly, except at that time he was wearing a baseball cap that said "I support Bedlinen" which I never understood until now, and I recall that he always wanted to be known as Al ..... which I thought at the time was just short for Alan.

So it appears clear that Turbo has been in hiding within the NES under a fake persona and threw everyone off the scent by claiming to be from Moorabbin, which is even sh*tier than Kabul.

I will update all NESers once I have more medical results.

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... It read MONGRELS ........

...... at which some in the audience laughed, until they realised that this new name attracted some REAL hard men who were keen to adopt the Suzuki M109 lifestyle, where garage floors could be carpeted and no backup vans were needed on rides to bring home the dead'ns.

The MONGRELS were also very respectful to the CWA chapters & the ladies therein, who this year were celebrating their 100 year anniversary and boy, were there ever some debauched celebrations, as those girls really know how to party.

Turbo was invited to give the keynote address at the Moorabbin CWA because he had been there when they kicked off as the foundation CWA branch and his speech included his usual ramblings & reminiscences about ......

On 31/07/2022 at 10:18 AM, CT9000 said:

......trying to think up a reason for selling off kero as avgas to these poor misguided motorists that were sucked into the cheap fuel price......

....., after all, they said, if kero will run a Lear Jet (a poor man's Flight Design model) then it will work a treat in my Tesla.

In reflecting on the above posts, Cappy wanted to explain a couple of key points:

1. The clueless Vic Agriculture Minister had wanted to declare that all rabbits were to be treated like carp, but a misspelling of the word rabbit, due to a cheap auto-collect on her Chinese phone meant that they inserted Koala instead, so all the law abiding Mextorians donged the Koalas on the head and left them on the side of the 5 wonderous creeks around DG.
2. The below photo has come to Cappy's attention and he wishes to make it clear that his GGGGGGFather was not killed by that bloke behind him (who looks a bit like Dan Andrews without the flappers), as he survived the 6" deep flesh wound from that poxy little knife (we Cooks are made of stern stuff) and was rescued by 2 nubile islander maidens ...... who then nearly killed him again over the following few months (The fine specimen Cappy that you all know & love, as a member of Wreck Flying, is the product of one of those near death sessions).

On the other hand, Cappy knows it to be dinkum that Tubb, Onesie and bull are now the leaders of the Comancheros & have changed their names to well respected Lebanese monikers, have each had the required nose-job and have commenced the required ........

TURBS, ONESIE AND BULL (ALL MASKED UP TO PREVENT THE SPREAD),

PLUS A FEW MATES FROM THE TYABB AERO CLUB, AT THEIR INITIAL

TAKEOVER MEETING OF THE COMMANCHEROS.

On 22/07/2022 at 4:39 AM, turboplanner said:

The ticking continued but was faster now as one of the SpaceDrifter missiles glowed red and then silently headed straight for his ..............

...... equally red .......

On 20/07/2022 at 8:54 AM, bull said:

.very annoying rhythm,,,the  impact of such was felt as far as....................

...... the Nimbin Writer's Festival, Tie-Dying competition and Nudie Run (this event has something for everyone, so it is just like Tasmania in the tropics), where ......

SIDE NOTE - Apparently one of our NESers have been giving one of the Moderators some unwanted attention and Eeeeeeean has sent me the below to post on the NES as a subtle warning.

21 hours ago, bull said:

.another pandemic had started,,,,,soon the pandemic controllers  [government] had them all arrested and sent out to Christmas island ..Now this did not go down well with Cappy ,who had risen out of his jelly form to...............

...... to add mixed jelly wrestling to his mixed mud wrestling resume, which is outstanding and is ......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

[Cappy has been quite overcome by the rapid speed of the NES narrative]

Poor Cappy is still on page 685.

 !

...... long, as Turdy's impersonation of Rex (Hunt) was .....

(And his modifications to the Gone With The Wind script where Turds channelled Clark Gable & added a typical Moorabbin touch, where he always said "And frankly my dear, I don't give a ***k", just didn't cut it with the old Rex girls, who were even more rugged than the PAN-AM hosties of yesteryear)

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....Rex, NTTIAWWT, who knew how to have a good time in Cappy's opinion, but ..............

..... it must be admitted that these REX girls dated from back in the original Hazelton days, so they were a little the worse for wear, although Turbo cannot, any longer, afford to be too ......

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....knickers.

"You were a bit young weren't you?" sniggered Cappy, waving his gin around.

"I started as I meant to finish" replied Turbo tartly.

"What went wrong?" asked Cappy

And that's when ...........................

...... Turbo explained in great detail (sighs) that he is just having a temporarily break from his pursuit of knickers and he would soon be back on top of his game again (although this last 30 year lady imposed break means that Tubb still considers Cottontails to be "knickers").

However Cappy was supportive, as ever, of Turbo's dreams and arranged for him to meet a couple of Flight Attendants from ......

(Gummy Rummy might be in strife even before its launched and it can be disclose in this esteemed forum that Cappy QC has been leading negotiations on behalf of a little known company called First Nations Franchising & Ripoffs Inc, for all gin distillers worldwide to pay a $10 per bottle licencing fee, and this deal includes 1 complimentary Bardy Grub to be placed in each bottle to match the marketing by Tequila).