Captain

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

which is saying something, and he knelt and ........

..... gave thanks to the god of lift, the chap who invented the propellor and the fellow who invented those nappies full of gell crystals that facilitate solo long-distance flight.

The Aaaafrikana bloke (who looks similar to the guy that shot my uncle Jack at Rorkes Drift) liked what he heard and said "Are you interrrested in having a beer down a Mangimupmupup, as we are having a brei down there tonight and we haaav a few spare chicks from the Land Vroue Vereniging (LVV) coming along."

It was then that Cappy realized that the landing was not in the real Saiaith Aafrikkkaa, but in the other South Africa on our western boundary where MarkyMak is the premier and where there are more Aaaafrikkana than there are left in the real joint from which they came. (It is little known that One track's real monika is Een snit and his ............

WHERE UNCLE JACK COPPED IT

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......do the leakdown test on all the cylinders and a piston had leaked out of one if the exhaust stubs.

But, he soldiered on, threw over his man bag, pens, cigars, RMW boots, clothes, but not his sunglasses; he'd die for his WWII in the Pacific sunglasses. He even leaned down, holding the harness and undid the nuts holding the wheels on, then threw the seats overboard until the Drifter reached an equlibrium and charged on. He dropped down under the trees out of the radar, and eventually dropped it for a three point landing, one of the points being his nose, in ..............

.. credibly which had the shape and consistency of a WW2 glider tail skid (and not a new glider either).

His "WWII in the Pacific Sunglasses" made him look taller and like Joe Biden on a good day & in favorable lighting.

Some thought that he looked more like Kamala Harris, but that is another story if you have never seen Turdy in the shower, ...... like what bull & I have ....... yet Kamala has ...............

TURBS IN HIS SUNNIES AT THE LAST MOORABBIN FLY-IN

(HE FALLS UP AIRCRAFT STEPS TOO ......

BUT JILL WANTS TO HAVE A CRACK AT HIM ONCE JOE GOES).

TURBO HAS THE SAME LAUGH ... SOME SAY CACKLE.

AND DON'T ASK ME ABOUT THE LOOK IN THE SHOWER.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The Chief judge started to gloat but without paying attention to a leakdown test Turbo jammed the throttle wide open made a shot takeoff run and headed for .................

.... a world of pain, because he had neglected to ..........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

The General ........

..... whipped out his clap sticks (no, not that clap), spread his legs, completed a one-man Russian corroboree and then contemplated circumcising himself with an oyster shell.

The crowd loved it and in that tried-and-true Aussie joke way of appreciating a good show, yelled "Cut it off".

Meanwhile Turbo was in the wings (avref) about to undertake his solo (avref) section of the show, where just like Jessie James, Chopper Reid and Wild Bill Hickock, Turdy (due to his period of incarceration in the Hague ........and his similar looks + murderous nature), had been billed as the Slobodan Milosevich of the 21st century, so he ........

A DEFIANT TURBO DURING HIS INITIAL TRIAL

..... all led to the Russian General (the real one, not the Turdboy imitation) being made the leader of the Yes argument for The Voice.

"I sink ze Voice iss essentialski for my 1st nations peoples-ski" he said "As it hass been a very wery popular TV Show-ski, and I have-ski prepared a spectacular act with Vlad, Turbo-ski and me doing Cossack squats and with the highlight finale being Turbs doing a repeat-ski of his infamous yet messy .........

39 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....visit his seamstress who flew a Yak 9  with real machine guns [avref]. Cappy gradually coaxed the Russian General towards the open window. a Ukrainian hit squad stood silently below. Just as they were about to fire ...........

...... when Tubb was overtaken by the need to perform a rather extreme squat, and that combined with last night's Kazakhstani vindaloo meant that Turbo was incapacitated (in his lower regions) and the ASIO crack riot squad moved in and arrested them both.

"G'day mates and beauty bottler" said the General "My name is Bruce and the Bruce Highway is named after me. You couldn't possibly get a more skippy Aussie than me-ski and I feel compelled to dob in my mate here, who is a Russian General and who is wanted by NATO."

in the meantime, Turdboy had lived up to his name (erky perky) and was arrested by ASIO while being kept at arm's and pong's length.

And that Dear Readers is the background to Turdy being so named and to his being held on war-crimes charged in the Hague after they washed him down with a fire hose.

The charges were ..........

THIS IS TURDY WHEN FORCED TO WEAR A GENERAL'S UNIFORM

IN THE LEADUP TO HIS TRIAL.

THE UNIFORM IS USUALLY LESS BROWN, BUT IN THIS CASE THERE

WAS A NEED TO DISGUISE THE STAIN.

IN THE MEANTIME, THE REAL GENERAL HAD DISGUISED HIMSELF

AS A NATIVE STOCKMAN & RMWILLIAMS POSTER BOY, SEE HIS PHOTO BELOW,

AND WAS ROUNDING UP CATTLE FOR GINA.

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo innocently announced that a Russian General was coming to stay, they said they’d roll out the welcome m.......

atinee of Michael Flatley's Lord of the Dance at the Moorabbin Odeon, where both Tubb and the General were invited on stage to perform their version of a ...........

TURBO USED TO THINK THAT THIS ALL LOOKS A BIT ON THE GAY SIDE, DESPITE THE CHICKS, BUT TUBB STILL HAD A FEW BLUE SINGLETS FROM HIS TRUCKING DAYS, SO HE GAVE IT A GO.

14 minutes ago, Captain said:

free dacha in the Russian conclave in Moorabbin

The Dacha is on Dorky Park in Moorabbin Heights.

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...try to aim for the enemy rather than your foot which you wil note is bleeding.

"Nyet!"< said the General, but he was too late...........................

......... as the CASA HR staff had already approved him as a 5 Star candidate (only Pol Pot had qualified higher) and his initial salary signup bonus was in the mail.

"We have also found you a free dacha in the Russian conclave in Moorabbin, where Turboski willski lookski afterski you ....... 

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....a Russian General who was asking, complete with his hat with the bright red band, and his fluoro safety gear.

As we know the Ukrainians liked to pop off Russian Generals using the 50 cals they got from China cheap.

Just at this moment he had zeroed the 50 cal in on Canopy, but someone farted and he missed and hot the General.

The Russians didn't see the funny side and ...............

...... blushed when the General realized that Turbo's post designated him as "hot".

"I guess zat I am quite goodlookingski" he conceded, as he gave instructions to attack more civilian targets and to be heavy handed with anybody with whom he came in contact.

"Hey mate" said the CASA Operative "You'd fit in well working with us, if you would just get a tad more vicious and ........

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

No one on board that day has ever been able to explain what motivated Cappy to yell "We'll have them!!!!!!" then yelled "PULL!" forgetting he wasn't on the Kapooka clay target range, then shoving the nose down steeply and .............

..... doing a cross between Douglas Bader, Biggles, bull and the singularnaughty as he flew between the trees, dodging Iranian suicide drones, a goodly amount of friendly fire, and the odd .......

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........straight into the Donbas. "Get Outski!" a Ukranian soldier yelled up at the kitten which was right in his line of fire..............

.... "Hold your fireski" he yelled "I'm not looking for Ukraineski, I was navigating to St Moritzski as I am meeting bullski and 1rootski there for a skiski, and some apre piste shenanigans when we will also ...........

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The magenta line didn't look quite right; ........

..... nor did it appear too left, so in usual AUF fashion he split the difference and flew the Kitten .......

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Now in his brand new 2/3 scale Sopwith Kitten, he was lining up for take off..........

..... when it crossed his mind that this might actually involve a ménage à cinq, which had potential to sink ......

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He gave the CASA operative a Bowen Cuddle, and caught the ASIO bloke in the .........

...... best type of interdepartmental tryst, a ménage à ........

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and OT had described it post after post and then ..........

..... strand after strand.

"Which is your favorite, Onesie" asked the ASIO bloke, trying to trip the One&onlyRoot into a chargeable admission.

"Post number 12,346 is a particularly attractive and deserving post" replied NotManyRoots (NMR) "As it is ..........

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

in this photo taken by a CASA spy camera, what looks like a shadow to the right of the fence post, and actually Turbo, and if you look closely you can see his ..........

...... dict, which is wrapped with dict tape, ......... and as Turbo tells us all so often, that is the widest part of his shadow, which excited considerable interest from ..........

23 hours ago, onetrack said:

wide people from the East

Hence the use of slimming black letter-box burqas to hide the width.

ALTHOUGH THE ONE BELOW LOOKS UNWIDE & PRETTY GOOD AS A POTENTIAL AUF MEMBER.

On 30/10/2022 at 5:55 PM, turboplanner said:

........Sherlock AHolmes. he looked as if he was disinterested, appearing to fiddle with his umbrella, but he was taking photos - digital photos, and one of them caught the face of ..................

....... the first of the ISIS brides and their cute little nippers, 50% of whom were being "rehomed" in Wodonga and the other 50% in Moorabbin, which is very much like a Syrian refugee camp (both places have been chosen so that Albo can visit them regularly to check on their de-bomb-chucking lessons) and where they would fit in like a ...........

On 27/10/2022 at 4:41 PM, turboplanner said:

canopy’s assistant was Sergeant Madge Ah Weekly.......

And there you have it Dear Readers.

Just some innocent banter on the NES has exposed Cappy's 007 ASIO code name of "Canopy" and his trusty assistant Sargeant Major Ah-Weekly Phong of the anti-Junta Burmese resistance, who has now received a death sentence in-absentia.

So even in the light of Turdboy's loose lips (more cracked, wrinkled & floppy than just loose), Canopy and Phong, or C&P as they are known in the intelligence community and at the UN, continued on to selflessly serve the Nation and the World.

On 27/10/2022 at 4:41 PM, turboplanner said:

They say if you can survive crawling through the doo at Kapooka you’ll make a real soldier. canopy’s assistant was Sergeant Madge Ah Weekly.......

...... who had both trained in the paddy fields of Burma, Laos and Cambodia, so crawling through the remains of an Aussie dunny (even if they has been forced to undertake their duties to Stand-with-Dan in the stench and filth of Mextoria) was like smelling roses in a ..........

....... future presidential material.

But Dimitri had finally gone into a witness protection program in WA, where he changed his name and became 100% Aussie and used to call our "G'day mate-skis" and "Cooee bottler-ski".

It was, however, through this wonderful Wreck Flying Forum that Dimitri was able to make contact with his 1/4 brothers Turdy and Loxie and they met up at their other 1/4 brother's pangolin restaurant in Frankston.

"First let me say-ski, that Wreck Frying is better than Ancestry.com in finding the fruit of uncle Wan's loins, and I think-ski that my brothers are now-ski ..........

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In a 170 knot dive it could scream in Russian what sounded like "wait, wait, wait" to stop the Russians from running away, making it a lot more effective than ........

..... using them to attack the Ukrainians.

Russian drones attacking Russian troops while they wait at the mobile Vodka truck was something that made the ABC report that ......

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... like values burning ......

As Cappy once included in a speech, he drafted for Winston C (and for which he has been quoted ever since) "The 1st casualty of war is truth".

The above quote by Turdboy, which is aimed at the Tax Office for his '22 - '23 Return, is plainly incorrect as the value of the Drifters has increased 30 fold, because they are now certified for military use which makes them much more desirable for the civilians too.

This popularity however resulted in the Drifters being cloned by the Chinese, of which Turbo is a part (not part of the factory in China ........ Tubb is part Chinese after one of his great great grand Nannas fancied a Chinese bloke for a few minutes in the diggings at Ballarat (but that is another story where his kinship to AhLox is evident [that Chinese bloke really got around]).

On 22/10/2022 at 6:38 AM, turboplanner said:

.....won the lottery. And he had in a way because the TCF was an institution in many countries around the world, with the quaint TCF buildings designed by Turbine Architecture and Concreting Co (TACC) and the figure of Turbo clad only in a golden robe, and the money was rolling in, but the Arabs were a little more inqisitive and found out ...........

....... that Tubb had received an offer from Vlad to purchase all of the Drifters and convert them into suicide drones, using the expertise of Turbine War-Machine & Kill-em-All Inc. (TWM&KeAI).

"Ziss good deal-ski" said Vlad "As Turbo understands about being a dick-------tator and I can-ski cut out the towelheads in Iran who have the drone-ski contract at the moment-ski."

Vlad also loved Turdo's publicity photos of him riding shirtless on horseback and him killing a bear with his bare hands (even if it was only a Koala).

Turbo loved the thought of explosives laden Drifters diving like Stukas at Vne + 170 knots, so he .........

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

And his preference for diamonds also ignoring th warning; “don’t eat the jewellery”.

This fascination for sucking diamonds had always been one that Turbo shared with AhLox ............... but this does not refer to the Netball team, I hasten to add, as Turdy has been the subject of a 20 kms radius AVO by several Diamonds team members after that unfortunate incident in Wellington when he offered to replace Gina's sponsorship if they allowed him to (censored by Moderator 26).