Captain

..... later explained, the 1Root had misheard Turbo's retelling of this story, because there is a big difference between "running" and having "the runs", hence his name.

Turdy further explained by .......

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

But Lassie woke up and took a bite out of his lower .........

....... scrotal area, so that ......

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

.......ishy-washy way to try and impress people. "Anyway", said the BF lass, "regardless of what rank you try to pull on me, I outrank you by a country mile, as I have the ability to ensure you.........

... "I don't want to be insured" said Turbo, where hearing & spelling had never been his strong suit, so the BF lassie just ......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....each wave, becomeing weaker and weaker, but with a lastbig heave, made it to the beach where ...........

..... he was arrested as a boat person escaping from Vicmanistan.

"This ain't the Rio Grande" said the lassie from Border Force "This is Airley Beach and the last thing we need up here is somebody who is a culturally inappropriate Mextorian dressed in a flying suit with a zipper that goes all the way down to his exit chute (avref). And why do you have 5 bars on your epaulettes? We think that, for starters, is a bit of a w............

...... go down on ......

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......undid it’s four bolts threw it over his left shoulder and heaved it into the sea.

Next......

...... , Mavis, who is a member of Wreck Flying in order to monitor this thread so as to stalk TTS, and who was a redhead before she went purple, winced, squirmed and then wriggled + giggled when she thought about what TTS (Turbo-The-Stud, as she has always called him) was doing "unscrewing" 4 (yes four times) bolts and then ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... when the BlueHead turned RedHead.

Using his exceptional skills he .............

...... relied on muscle memory and did what he has done to every other redhead that has come into his life since WW1 and he ..........

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

...technique had developed its origins from Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs modus operandi. The system worked so well, that CASA started to consider "patching" for its operatives, and to foster a "brotherhood" outlook amongst its employees. When the subject of "patching" was put forward though, questions were raised in the following order -

1. Who would do the tattooing? -

2. Who was going to pick the types of tattoos? -

3. What the tattoo symbols were going to be? -

4. What was going to be worn on their corporate jackets? -

5. How was the aviation fraternity going to distinguish between "bikie enforcers", and the real CASA operatives? -

 

The questions were noted as being very good questions, so another Committee was formed, specifically to address the above questions, and also to address the problem of ........

...... CASA hired a consultant @ $3,000/hr to undertake various relevant calculations (the basis of which will only be made available to a Senate committee after they sign the Confidentiality Agreement) and as a result, "patches" were made (to cement the CASA bad-boy image) in black with white edging and white embroidery that read "1.46784389%er" and below it read "We are more percentage-er that the 1%ers".

This patch was then followed by a design for the back of the regulation CASA dust coats that showed a failed flying instructor with a bulbous red nose, no personality and no friends, (who looks a bit like Turbo if you squint), shaking his finger at a distant & dapper fly-boy (modelled from a box brownie pic of 1Root in his younger days) who is giving the CASA person the finger and .......

THE BIKIE VERSION OF THE CASA BADGE.

THE CASA BADGE IS MUCH WIDER

1 hour ago, bull said:

.unfortunately started licking his balls ,this display did nothing for the reputation of casa and he was fired on the spot. Now this.....

...... pointed the digit at all the other lickers in case, and that caused .....

..... the north-east NSW coast where he ripped heads off indiscriminately at the Evans Head fly-in, then ......

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

First pig dog to get one down was the winner, and handlers had to be quite to pull the dogs off before they choked the kid. Grong Grong kids grew up tough with quite a few strangling at least one pig dog before they graduated. It was .........

....... a bit tough on the pig dogs, that was for sure, but it was invaluable training for 2 alternative activities/professions in later life:

• As an AUF pilot needing to take on CASA and the NTSB after flying illegally but entertainingly.
• For a career as a CASA field officer and belting the crap out of hapless AUF pilots via surprise ramp checks.

The fact that both of the above activities meant that all of the grown-up dog stranglers spoke, at least initially, with growls, drooling, and licking themselves, meant that ........

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......Kapooka Investments Pty Ltd, which operated out of Grong Grong where the dogs outnumbered the people and........

....... "Doggie Style" meant the range of canine fashion accessories offered by KIPL in their Grong Grong Emporium and Coffee Shop (Est 2022), which meant that ......

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Loxie on a Saturday night at the BoB.

Loxie had become restless training new fairies on how to hold a hose, how to turn a tap on, how to start a pump and which direction to point the hose nozzle. His team was doing quite well regular getting high 35%s for the tests, but he was restless, and one day he decided to add Water Bombers to the fleet. He decided on ................

...... vetoing any proposals from Turbine Corporation in whatever guise it might put itself forward (this is a huge ask to identify them all as Turbine Corp has its tentacles operating on all continents), and as Loxie so often says "It is still only 1925 in Tas & WA, so whatever they offer as a water bomber will still be pulled by horses" so he omitted them from the tender list too.

That just left ..........

A PRELIMINARY PROPOSAL SENT TO LOXIE FROM WA

AND THE LATEST PROPOSAL FROM TASMANIA .... PHOTO TAKEN IN MID SUMMER.

2 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... bad Indian and Pakistani accents and general cultural misappropriation (which would never be acceptable on Wreck Flying) that ended up with Turbo painting a red sniper spot on his forehead and ..........

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......its novel use of Kyber Space in which the Kybers commnunicated and sang curry songs and...................

..... dressed in semi see-through saris that made them look like ........

Ohhhhh Bugger. Turbo & Cappy have posted simultaneously again.

1 hour ago, bull said:

..the entertainment  in the Kyber became world known for...

...... bad Indian and Pakistani accents and general cultural misappropriation (which would never be acceptable on Wreck Flying) that ended up with Turbo painting a red sniper spot on his forehead and ..........

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....over their heads, and that's when the ambush..........

..... & general mayhem really kicked up a notch ..........

SEE THE BELOW TYPICAL BRAVERY OF THE TROOPS,

AFTER GETTING OVER THEIR BOREDOM

14 hours ago, Captain said:

..... had been on duty up the Khyber for many tours and were bored sh%&less (a bit like NES lurkers), so Smuts' instruction went way .......

TO ALL NESERS - And particularly the thousands of you from outside Australia where English (or Stray-yan) is not your first language, after Turbo called me yesterday I thought that an explanation is needed for you all as it was for he.

When Turbo called he said words to the effect of "Apologies old friend, but the reason that I have not replied sooner (to the post as quoted above) & for over 10 hours, is that I don't get it. Can you therefore explain it to me please?"

To which I replied "Of course, Tink, it was a play on words about your reference to the Boars (..... "as if they were Boarrrr!!") and my mention that the troops were "bored". It was more a cerebral exercise than outright humour."

"Thank you for explaining that old buddy" replied Turdy "As now I can compose a witty reply." 

And so the NES continues on to literary heights and any of our overseas lurkers (particularly those in jail or prison camps in China, Butan, Tasmania, Russia or Iran), please feel free to respond in your native lingo and we can arrange translation services and other help.

..... had been on duty up the Khyber for many tours and were bored sh%&less (a bit like NES lurkers), so Smuts' instruction went way .......

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...............he and Turbo were in the Khyber Pass. The Heathen had somehow got hold of a lot of ex German Army stick grenades and they were coming in fast.Turbo, Cappy and Loxie were catching and throwing methodically when one went a bit wide. Cappy snatched for it but fell awkwardly and it slipped into his groin which was clamped by the fall. Turbo grabbed the stick and pulled, and Cappy let out a squeal as the grenade body crushed his nuts, but it wouldn't come loose. It was too late and they heard a phssssssssss and then nothing, Cappy had clamped the only dud and ...................

... that disappointed our brave & tough Cappy, as groins are a little like hallucinatory drugs and you need a bigger "hit" each time to keep the thrill alive.

So up the Khyber, pass that is, after the somewhat tame girls in Bone and Calcutta, Cappy was in need of a strong "hit" and was therefore looking forward to the grenade giving him a little tingle that would make up for ......... 

...... as the cereal,  now substantially free of chocky, started to snap, crackle & pop next to Cappy's nether regions,  which reminded him of the time that .......

....... that the 23 cupcakes of frozen chocolate crackles that he had knocked off before they left, were thawing out in his .......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine Debt Recovery Inc because Al Gore hasn’t been paying subscriptions and...

..... Greta wanted to pay in Swedish Crone, but Turbs insisted on some personal favours (he really is THAT sort of guy, and has been fixated on her since she looked so ravishing during her speech to the UN) plus payment in Euros into his Cayman Island account, in the name of ........

THIS IS THE LOOK THAT GOT TURBO SO ENAMERED

(Turbo has stolen all of our dreams too).

..... know that Turbo realised how his message was misread and he immediately registered the words "GLOBAL WARMING" worldwide  as proprietary to Turbine Industries, where he has then licensed its use to John Kerry and Chis Bowen,  conditional on them using the term 10 times in each paragraph that they spout.

The generated funds have been cleverly used by Turdy to set up Turbine Coal Mines Inc, Turbine Fracking PLC, and .....

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............Tigers Steve had been watching were Bengal Tigers, and packed a powerful swipe or bite at anyone telling them they were fast-back imitations and................

....... when Turbo tried to milk them for sale at his Tasmanian Cat Farm (TCF).

"Tigers produce much more milk than moggies, so it just makes time and motion productivity sense" commented Turbo "But boy, don't the males get snarky when you reach in there, except for that one lying at my feet, as he seems to have enjoyed it, and that ......