Captain
-
Posts
11,198 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
36
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Store
Aircraft
Resources
Tutorials
Articles
Classifieds
Movies
Books
Community Map
Quizzes
Videos Directory
Everything posted by Captain
-
... called on to commit Harry ......
-
.... at the leady. "Rets have a few more dishes at this excerrent Japanese Lestaulant at the Lissole" suggested the Ambassador "And isn't it gleat that Aussies are prepared to integlate you as a member of this triffic organisation, and call you "Mate", where ......
-
Calling Onetrack and bull! ...... Are you OK? Turbulence (avref) and I miss you + we are getting sick of just us.
-
..... said that the Mayor had actually died of old age, but rather than be slightly morose, he would much prefer to speak about how creative Japanese grandmas can be on a 1st date. "No wuckers" said Nobu "Let's build a spreadsheet and I'll fill in (Freudian slip) what the Cowla grannys can do and you fill in what the old girls are capable of at home, but let me warn you, Mr Ambassador, that once compared and rated, you might want to rook at moving the Embassy out here and partaking of the bounteous.....
-
.... him when he was down, something Doubty leant from her training with the West Midlands Police. But just as Nobu went down, and Doubty was about to finish him off, the Japanese Ambassador rushed between them. "Prease don't hit him any more Cuntstable" he said "As we have just rearnt that Nob's time in Cowla, + his time constlained UG cooking for the Japanese lestaulant in the Cowla Gardens, prus his time stuck in OZ ever since, means that he has been fighting WWII for even ronger than Shoichi Yokoi who gave up in 1972 (a piddring effort I'm sure you will aglee), and now here is Nobu still an unlereased POW in OZ in 2026, so Nob's gunna be a helo when he gets home". "But I don't wanna go home" plotested Nobu, while surrounded & arm-in-arm with about 50 Cowla grandmas, many still with a glint in their eyes, so the Ambassador just .......
-
Most of our readers would know, so it will not be lost on them, that in Doubtfire's sights, OT's auriola looks uncannily similar to Tubb's freckle in the dim light of a Khyber evening, when I plugged him with my Three-O all those years ago. Ahhhh the memories .... or in Doubtfire's case, Ahhhhh the mammarys.
-
..... mammary papilla, which for some reason only found in the WA gene pool, his right one is much bigger than his left, so that is where Doubtfire concentrated her aim. In the meantime, Nobu was standing around like a spare AUF member in an NES story, and he thought that Doubty was ......
-
.... mind being Tased after using that to wake himself up after the erotic-asphyxiation techniques that had worked so well for him and which he had passed on to Michael Huchins. OT tore open his CAT T-shirt (exposing the chip insertion scar above his left clavicle) and Doubtfire aimed at his magnificent .....
-
..... act initially, as WA is owned by China too and he was just waiting for instructions of what to do, via the chip (electronic not potato) that had been planted in all WA citizens when they had their indoctrination course and chip fitting, then their memories erased (like Men-In-Black, but in WA they are Men-In-Ochre). "Protect the Prez" was the message that came via the chip, and OT moved like a combination of Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis & Sylvester Stylone (back then in their primes, not now), and stood erect (although it has been a while) between Doubty and Xi, ready to .....
-
..... she noted that the Chinese navy had recently circumcised Australia, but he was not, so she took out her trusty 1st Nations oyster shell, complete with certificate of authenticity and tiny dot painting, she lit a gumleaf and welcomed Xi to OZ, then flashed the oyster shell and said "Drop 'em Xi, old mate, and by the power vested in me by the NSW Walloper's Association I'm about to take a sample of your ......
-
.... he swooned, as not many of his conquests were actually voluntary, so this was a rather unique experience, particularly as she still had blood on her teeth from munching on Cappy's arm. And she is a Ranga Skippy White Eyes (RSWE) too, so an outstanding opportunity to explore whether ......
-
... embraced the opportunity and .....
-
But sometimes the Khybers weren't as dangerous as the Pommy Officers.
-
.... that old tourism moto "You'll love every piece of Victoria" has come true, except that the pieces involve various extremities and ......
-
..... the cutting implements used to do the slicing of the pizza. There are no circular pizza cutters in Mextoria as they use machetes and have developed a flourishing pizza cutting procedure that may have cultural significance in 100 years, when all Melbournistan natives will wear a machete proudly, like a Gurkha and his kukri. This is evidenced by the amount of pizza splatterings around the machete bins and the fact that ....
-
.... as it was just the usual Moorabbin night out, and Xi was hooking in with the best of them. It was OT who expressed the initial concern, as while he was enjoying the mayhem and was hitting them as quickly as Tubb and Cappy could grab them, he had never been in the wilds of Vicmanistan before, but had read horror stories about ......
-
..... so they contained their usual aggression, short fuses and their "All for one and One for All" mantra. This was a time to add diplomacy to their usual UFC Cage Match approach to international relations, so they invited Xi, Doubty, Nob and the other girls for a Thai feed up the main drag in Moorabbin, where they could have an entre taking on the local Machete Gang, and then ......
-
.... Turbo's agonizing about whether to ask Xi about Doubtfire, with the chance that he might dob her in, or does Turbo just pretend that he doesn't know her and cast her to the wind. But then, would you believe it dear readers, Doubtfire stepped out of the ladies dunny and indicated Shshshshsh, as Xi had picked her up in the Spratleys, mentioned something about building a house, or carpet and drapes etc and gave her the chance to experience the ......
-
..... fixed it with his Sydchrome set and a #4 Sledgy. (Not many people know that those tools are named after that tool Syd Turbine III) Xi was super grateful as he hadn't signed for the aircraft and had taken it as a foreign order, with a couple of ladies from Guang Jau, and without .....
-
.... Now our sheepdogs can be spoken to in Engrish (even the sheep speak half Japanese) as those dogs have no idea what "Come By" means, so that's why they bite 1st then ask questions while wearing a kelpie sized katana, and why they have Welcome to Changi written on the yards outside the shed and the moto "Making wool will set you free". That dear readers is also why the stock reports from Cowra always run late, as Nobu (while looking all Skippy in his RMW gear and Akubra) always buys and sells in yen and the auctioneer has to use his calculator before taking the next bid (conversion rate today is 112.69 yen to the Pacific Peso). The sheep and dogs are also sick of bowing to each other at the start of each mustering operation, and most have an aversion to Saki, unless of course ......
-
..... saying what he used to say to his black haired mates at school where Cappy was one of the few blonde haired, blue eyed Aerian Viking types, that "You new Australians are all the same" even if they were Italians, Griks, Chinese or any other brand. But then he added "However, Nob, you have been in Cowla longer than I was in the womb + Kindy, so I reckon that you are, by-now, an honorary ......
-
.... , so Tubb showed him a photo of the new Drifter and Nobu was transfixed (+ aloused). "XXXX the Zelo" he said, took off his headband, and touched Tubb's arm in a way that eased his concern about being asked to kneel in front of a Samurai and .....
-
..... he became aware of Albo's 2nd indiscletion where he spoke dislespectfurry about the Japanese PM's merons. "I'm shocked and appaured" said Nobu "Although I must confess that they aren't bad and better than a few Aussie chicks from Cowra who got them out when they fell in rove with me due to Stockholm Syndlome ............ but for Arbonese (the XXXXXXX) to say that about our new Plime Minister was way beyond the pale and he should ......
-
.... " said Nobu when he leant that Doubtfire was again claiming precedence in the NES, and let me tell you, Dear Readers, that the "XXXXXXX" word used by Nobu is prohibited for use in polite Japanese society (although it was used off mike by the Mayors of Hiroshima & Nagasaki) and even the Yakuza think that it is crass and ......
-
.... , and on reading that, Cappy wondered whether Nobu had spent some time in India .... or in Tarneit (NTTIAWWT). However, as it turned out Nobu (known as The Nob to his mates) was just .... All NESers are reminded that sometime soon we need to zip back up and look after Doubtfire who is exposed.
