Captain
-
Posts
10,830 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
30
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Downloads
Blogs
Events
Store
Aircraft
Resources
Tutorials
Articles
Classifieds
Movies
Books
Community Map
Quizzes
Videos Directory
Everything posted by Captain
-
.... live another day by using what he had learnt on the couch from being a dedicated fan of both Theo Kojak and Frank Columbo. (In true commercial form, he also had a job-lot of 5000 T-shirts made that said "I survived Penny Wong" on the front and "Ray-Bans save eyes from xe5b1an attacks" on the obverse). Those 2 detective types established themselves deep within Turbo's persona such that his bullet head, Grik look, trench coat and forgetfulness became features of the Australian Aviation Scene, where even today every time he makes a contribution on the more serious forums (phora in Grik) inside Wreck Frying, the ...... What a combination
-
....., apart from his well-recognized pugilistic victories, behind the dunny down on the wharves, over Tom Domican and Tony Mokbel, our best mate Turbo is actually a lover not a fighter, and Penny would not have stood a chance once he turned on his turbocharged charms, and flashed his ......
-
...... TKO (Trip by Kath, Oh). Then, ever magnanimous in victory, Turbo said "I was lucky that it was just Albo, and not Ping and the mean girls, as .....
-
That also looks a lot like Turbo after he was pushed into the fence at Warrnambool following being sandwiched between Johnny Stewart & Howard Revell.
-
..... Leader of our Cuntry, who works very hard for the benefits of all Aussies, as he doubles, like Scott Morrison did, as the head of CASA and as a technical advisor to the AUF, plus the ....... Crappy expects to be locked up for posting the below photo of our fearless leader (and I don't mean Eeen) ....... but at least I have removed the bikini.
-
..... as were Turbo's cameras in the lady's dunnies. However, all video and still shots were always completely under-exposed, because the cameras had automatically set themselves based on the bright white light that was emanating from Turbo's legs. There was also an issue with this CIA, which turned out to be money saving shared offices of the well-known FB meme workshops of the Cats In Aprons group & the Aussie subgroup of the Galapagos based Caffeinated Iguana Alliance. Nobody noticed these groups because on the outskirts of Canberra, everyone is ......
-
Because they will hump your leg in true Turbine fashion.
-
.... was sitting down in the park and having a mass latte break. This, dear readers, was probably as you suspected, because Tubb's lions were not actually "girded", they were "girdled" .......... in pink tutus, and to make matters worse Tubb had also girdled his loins in a set of Warrick Capper shorts which were even a couple of sizes smaller than the Wizz used to wear, and if you looked carefully as he took his 3 minutes to get out of the 'Vette, groaning like my grandpa used to do, you could see the edge of the scar on his perineum ... see photo below. But the protesters didn't really care, as after their refreshments they thanked Turbo for the lovely intermission, picked up their Palestinian and Gay Rights flags and ......... Tink's lions looked a bit like this, but more fierce-erer. A bit like this ........ but extracting yourself from a Corvette is more revealing.
-
Or where Crappy is at the moment, we refer to it as “glace noire”, which sounds so much nicer and unconfrontational. Mind you, you can call someone a "deadset XXXX" in French and it sounds deadset angelic.
-
... thought about it for a second then looked at the below factual and peer reviewed photo, so he .....
-
... were all bored lesb1an5 and were copying the Minisatans and protesting about ICE. "geez lousie" said bull using his bull-horn (but without the punctilliation marks) "don't be a bunch of wankettes, as it is no use protesting ice down here in vicmanistan or taztarctica, as ice is just a fact of life for 9 months of the year .... and dare i mention the scourge of all bike riders, being "black ice", for fear of being labelled a racist about frozen adam's ale or agua." The protesters looked bull up & down, then Moses, and finally at Crappy, and a few of them considered the possibility of jumping back over the fence, but then thought better of it and .......
-
..... he was not certain that being Moses Henriques like, is high enough up the divinity totem pole. "Geez" he said "Being just pure, old, honest & innocent Turbo is higher up, pole-wise, than someone who just plays for NSW and the Sydney Sixers." "In fact' he added "Now that I can catch bullets with my teeth, instead of my freckle, by using my inate divinity skills, I might duck up to DG with BULLET and the C^*T for a bit of bunny busting and whilst there I shall verily ducketh (note his natural divinity type talk) into the local from whence cometh the ......
-
... east and praying to whatever God he happened to be favoring at the time. Crappy finds it interesting that because his great mate is the nearest living thing that he knows to divinity, that Turbo seems to float between being Dali Lama-like, to ....... Turbo's favourite T-Shirt. Tubb has bought a full set of these, in case he gets the callup to be the next DL.
-
.....tally to unsafe sh1tty aircraft that eventually CWT'd, with pilots & aircraft never to be seen again, or whether the TI pilots just headed straight over to the strip at Sims Metals in order to maximize their return, before buggering off to hide out in some WA sand agglomeration mining operation, nobody knew, but then .....
-
.... 4 or 5 people near the downpipe on the shelter shed actually did a spoonful, while some others would have certainly filled a scruple measuring cup, and those people needed a cleanup with a fire hose, not just a change of under garment. It is little known that after Turbs completed his driving duties across all Aussie speedway venues, including kicking Al Unser's a$s, he wanted to stay involved in the Speedway scene to continue to show his support for the sport ................... but more-so to try for an eventual AO for Services to Speedway in case he missed out on the AO for Services to the Trucking Industry. So, Turbo became a mechanic specialising in Speedway bikes and that locked on throttle in the video was one of his earliest attempts to influence a race because he felt that the rider wasn't trying hard enough. As Turbo has so often said in press interviews "If the throttle stays full on for longest, you simply MUST win the race". It is, however, just possible that the rider (and the crowd) might have disagreed, but in true Turbine family tradition, Turbo said ".....
-
.... whatever is needed to make it look bigger. Turbo has been full waxing for many years in the hope of achieving that result, but now realised that a comprehensive Back, Crack and Sack wax, + a quick snip to be Inscribed might do the trick, and make him look more desirable on the Turbine Media's Senior's version of Tinder, called Re-Kindle, so he ......
-
..... what is that in feet, Tubb, as I have never come to grips with this confusing metric stuff. Being of the "right age", and being in Juvenile Detention on the 14th of February 1966, I have always been happier measuring length in Barleycorns or Lines, and evaluating area in Oxgangs. As my best mate Turbo knows from visiting Crappy's Farm at YKKA 6 or 8 times each year, the speed limit on the expressway is 12,992,133 Barleycorns per hour, we are located 54,330,738 Barleycorns north of Moorabbin, our driveway is 283,465 Lines long, where Tubb & I shoot a heap of foxes on our 23 Oxgangs of prime rural land. I also use the Firkin as my prime unit to measure volume, and that is also very popular in WA where it is often stated that there is "a furkin lot of sand". This all comes back to the equally quaint fact that, even though Turdy and bull don't have any, the fuel capacity of a Drifter is exactly 38,400 apothecarial fluid Scruples, so when you refuel one you need to .....
-
..... perform in Normanton before the huge crowds at "Mud World", where the .....
-
..... razor sharp consciousness that the Gin Gin Light was real (Cappy had always been told that these lights were the result of methane escaping from Rod Marsh, which he then lit as a party trick). As Cappy examined the light, he realised that it was a quite good looking middle-aged aboriginal lady with the sun at her 6, shimmering through her wispy cotton dress, and carrying a glinting bottle of Tanqueray that had already been polished off via a chug-a-lug, then filled again with a chaser of Creme de Menthe. As a result, the aboriginal lady was also looking a bit green, around the gills, but she bravely continued to teach the school kids and to .....
-
.... was a frightening experience for the "Gin" peoples, (some would say "tribe", but they are more than that) who dominated Bombay culture at that time, with their early Cargo Cult practices, their worship of the multi armed Turbine deity (one of the girls at his school had accused him of being "All hands"), their red transverse spring sportscars made from papier mache and their poorly built full sized Thrusters that were actually better constructed than the original. That, and more Gin than you can shake a swagger stick at, is a fatal yet fun mix that meant that .....
-
... his fingernails went blue, so it was either the extreme altitude or his nail polish must have been old stock, and his Up/Down meter thingy went ....
-
.... also had 2 Aussie roundels displayed below his cock-pit, so that .....
-
..... then fell over from the levity, after which they stood then turned to moon Cappy. All Cappy saw was 12 bullseyes similar to Turbo's, except that these were in better nick, so he raised the three-oh, set the sights for "perineum" and started to plug them from left to right, with a clip change after # 10 had been torn a new one. Luckily Blu Tak, or Bluey to his mates, was #12 and Cappy recognized him, mid moon, from the size of his ......
-
..... what he thought could be a foreboding, and while he could be unpredictable at times, as confirmed by Turbo recently, he was also careful in the extreme when his best mate had gone Ni-Nis and Cappy had a duty, even above the usual obligations of mateship, to protect Tink, so Cappy walked, Kukri in hand, bravely but carefully towards the eerie green glow and he ......
-
.... who had been "goosed" a number of times in the past, was therefore very wary, and he ......
