Captain

......... The Great White Hope (well, he is actually mostly a dirty brown colour) of all downtrodden RAA members (and Andy the downtrodden ......................

....on the Committee fighting like cats and dogs, and preventing..................

........ Andy from arguing with them, as he does with most committees, & from crapping on them at the same time (both figuratively and literally).

But it started raining, with the same cats & dogs being involved, thereby also preventing ..............

...news of the forthcoming Quocka Socca game filtered through on the RatphonesTurdbros first thought was..."Maybe we could use Elratto as......

...... as the new Governor General once we flick that blonde sheila. Then we can all go to Gov't House and have a mocha while we discuss making Occa Quokka Socca the new national game after we make Recreational Aviation compulsory for all Aussies, using the catchcry of .............

....quince, with.............

......... cumquat jam (CWA recipe # 236a) and a hint of ...........

..... half sucked ...............

....loops, immelmanns, dutch rolls, sandwiches and focacias, and not only that but...................

...... various other creations from le Patisserie du Pompadour, including a shameless rip-off of an Aussie Pavlova with une French name which gives a hint that it was derived from .............

....very secretive.

"We all thought our gym teacher was a nefarious" said Turbo, "because he used to smack us with......"

.......... his "wand", or at least that is how HE described it, as his name was Nev and he was a bit of a fairy (NTTIAWWT etc)."

"That's not a "wand"" said the 12 Incher "THIS is a wand, and I can do ......................

........... attempt to crack onto whichever partner in the relationship is playing the lady (NTTIAWWT)."

"Whereas Brine's & Bandy's motives are altogether different & nefarious, being ..................

...a rub of a Rat's sack could well end up as a criminal charge....especially when the rubber is only.....

..... Ratty himself.

"At least I know what I like" the rubbing Rodent replied, "And this will all be made illegal once the High Court decides about the ACT Gay Marriage Act, which includes Turdy's & Bull's penchant for .............

........ who wants to be hold'n on to Holden when you can buy an I20 for less than the Rat charges to rub his sack (and he doesn't give a 5 year 100,000 km money-back guarantee either), when GM's annual turnover is larger than the Aussie annual GDP, when Poxy Loxy buys a Axe instead of the Bundy product, when nobody give a rats about buying local, and when ...................

dropped the Indonesian president Pseudo BamBam Ohmygodno into the lamington coating mix to try and hide Andys attempts at bugging Pseudos' wife!

Andy, as we all know is fantastic at bugging people, just ask the RozAus board about how he bugs them.....Rat too was adept at getting people to say things they didn't mean necessarily to say.....

 

why there was that time when......

........... he convinced Eeeeeen to say "As I am off increasing the efficiency of the Australian construction industry at the moment, how about you take over as Emeritus Rodentus Administrator of this site, and because Loxy is also such a pain in the ars* (NTTIAWWT) you can be top rodent as ModeRATorri Magnificenttti too."

On hearing of this the rest of the Forum Members buggered off (NTTIAWWTAW) quick sticks to the pppppppdate site and ..................

....... where Andy's sun doesn't shine, then we'll point him at Indonesia and wait for the explosion (plus we'll save another hat from a fate worse that death)."

"That will be good, as it will make them forget about the spying allegations." said Tony A.

"But" said Bill Shortarse-LongForehead "Andy is already a bit of an international incident (or should that read "accident") after he .........................

.....stick a new wire in my old hinge!!!! That's not safe at all, my mother warned me about people like.....

....... youze, and now here I am sharing my innermost deep dark secrets (and occasional bodily fluids) on the NES with the likes of youze all, & without even the hint of an ................

Then the 3 days of silence in the NES was broken by a blood-curdling scream that echoed up and down the coast from Coughs, when all NES readers heard the boss of the Coughs CWA yell .......... "You DIRTY little bugger, Andy, you have overfilled that one & right next to our lamington cooking lessons too, and now you want to ...........

Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé .................... Exposé ....................

As a further service to NES readers, your Investigator Rat came across the below photo of an original statue of Pythagoras.

Now, Investigator Rat does not subscribe to conspiracy theories, but doesn't he look the spit of Osama bed Linen, even to that smartarse little tilt of his head?

Either that, or in Pakistan last year the yanks perhaps killed the father of ancient mathematics who must have also developed an algorithm for eternal life.

Or perhaps the sum of the squares of the other two sides was a secret bomb-making formula ...................... or maybe Pythy, as he liked to be called, just liked a square root, ....................... or........

I would be interested in Turbo's opinion on this as Bandy told Ratty that Turdy went to school with Pythy.

...... much for your beloved Rat.

"If I'm gunna be "outed"" he said "Well OUT this" and then, always the showman, he unzipped his camo onesie (that was a funny line, Bandy) and stepped out in all his birthday suit glory.

"It's about time he had the suit pressed and the holes repaired" commented The Poxster "And ...............

Below is a picture of Ratty before stepping out of his camo Onesie. This is a poor photo as he is actually much better looking ............ and better endowed.

......nyone who even masquerades as a smith of locks, or as we are desperate, even a .............

......... we don't know how to unlock the door of the 1st Attack Depot, so does anyone know a ...........

"We could perhaps just use it to mark the centreline on my farm strip" suggested Poxy-Loxy, who was still amazed that the Bandit had enough blood left to keep his brain ticking over. "Or we could ................

...footprints." I am a plumber" he said, and just to make it uncomfortable for Ahlot, "which is like a locksmith on steroids. If we don't fix OUR jobs, we are in the sh$t!"

 

What could Ahlot say -

..... except "Geeez that's a beauty ........................... can you come over here so that I can measure the length of my farm strip" (AvRef).

"Oh no" replied the FootLong, feigning indignation but secretly proud of the admiration of his peers "I couldn't do .......................

....... how to fly (AvRef) like a bird (AvianRef).

"These guys are a bunch of pussies. So I see your Blady Bunch and I laise you one Led Bligade, as those brokes reary know how to cause mayhem and disluption" said Aki with conviction "No matter how heavily they are raden."

"Not the Led Bligades" yelled Salty with alarm, as the memories frooded back because he had been "with" a geisha in Tokyo the day that the siren went off about the sarin attack that was a signature Led Bligades move.

"I wish that we had thought of that" said Ted doing a Ken Calendar impersonation, as he claimed that he would have been sympathetic to putting his sultanas on the line by synchronising the syphoning of the sarin syrup from a syringe into the symmetrical septic systems at the station at sunrise as a superb symbolic gesture of .........................

........ you."

Loxie knew what this meant and did an involuntary spoonful, as this forebode pretty bode-fully, with the Braidy Bunch being locked in a well known power struggle with AQ for the position as the biggest pains in the ars* in the world (although the Taswegian branch of the braided bunch were just a bunch of dicks who liked braid) and in addition one of the leaders of the Braidy Bunch was named Alice and she held dual membership, also being a heavy hitter in the CWA.

"This is all turning to custard" said Ahlox and I need to ................

.......... but eventually it would start to rotate and bang away like AHlox in a .....................

...... just announced "I'll do it." and he started to look for an Abbot's habit ............. see photo below.

But then he realised that the Abbot had a smutty habit and without much thinking he said "That's for me, and I'll .................

Abbot Locksley in his flash Chasuble that the kiddies love ........................

"....can't let Prelate Madge loose with Deaconess Floppy", and

........ then there is Brother Robin of Loxley to consider, who has fallen from Grace (and Mavis) & who, as well as being one of the Moderatti Magnificentti is also a Prefecto Apolostolico, (while Eeeen is away in Brisbane) is presently experiencing the Recreational Flying version of Schoolies Week, with excesses being .............