Captain

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........had in mind.

"I've had it with Australia" said Ly Chee who was a sycophant of  Xi Jinping, "I'm going to take all their CO2 away from them" and thousands of Chine hit WeChat agreeing with LyChee, although a few said he was a flog.

Xi Jinping cautiously agreed with this action and ...................

 

..... he was somewhat fixated on Australia after he had tasted a Lychee Pavlova which had won 1st prize at the Devenport school fete (as cooked by bull as part of the compulsory Tazzy Gender Appreciation classes).

"Geeeez Louise (吉兹·路易丝)" said Xi to a few of his Devo mates (some of whom were from the aeroclub (航空俱乐部) (avref) (阿夫雷夫) and a  couple from the locals Hells Angels (地狱天使)) "That is the best ......

On 09/03/2021 at 10:34 AM, turboplanner said:

.....ly Chee ......

Despite Turbo's double-entendre & fruity attempt at smut, most NESers love the taste of LyChees (the fruit [NTTIAWWTBTW] not the person).

Just say'n.

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....ly Chee as an experiment in market expansion, but a wayward Trump adviser had stamped all the vials with the image of a skunk, slowing sales and.....

...... occasioning protests from Black & White Lives Matter, but with a wave of support from the Pepe for Premier campaign now that Dan has fallen down his stairs (or off his wallet), but that was nothing compared with what .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....scent of jasmine from the Che Zell products lining the shelves so Turbo tipped a bucket of water over him, and he came spluttering back to life. 
“Remember Harry Wackett from the WW2 days?” He left us the complete plans for a home-built recreational aircraft with a BSA Bantam motor......
 

......" said Jasmine whose scent had been sent from ......

(Some say that Jasmine's is more a musk than a scent, but Elon doesn't agree)

PPS ........... Wun Chi Zell's other brother One Chee Zel came up with that special mechanism for cooking cheezy circular tubular things and putting them in packets.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This time it was too much for the Commodore; he grabbed the envelope, went behind the screen and opened it.

They found him there on the floor 30 minutes later, but it was too late; he .....................

.... had started to become aroused because of the ..........

(Cappy had not missed the "eye" as from his time spent rebuilding the Chinese economy and their aviation industry, he was well aware of the strength of the Masonic Lodge throughout the PRC (Chairman Xi is actually a 2nd Lieutenant Mason who often stands on one foot and howls at the moon). In fact the chief poohbah of the Masons is an Asian bloke who started out with a simple stone quarry in North Korea and now has a world-wide string of them. His name is Wun Chi Zell otherwise known to the 5 Eyes as Hi Ta We Dge (quarryref) as that is the method they use to split their stone.)

Flom Wikipedia ....... and this is fair dinklum ...... The Chinese Masonic Society grew out of the Yee Hing Company (also known as the Hung League), an anti-Manchu underground network in China with chapters in North America and other key destinations of Chinese migrants. Many Chinese who originated from Zhongshan belonged to the Yee Hing and subsequently to the Chinese Masonic Society.

Xi giving his secret Masonic handshake  .....and tickling her palm (NTTIAWWTBTW).

More Chinese Fleemasons

36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Latte at the Pilot's Rest Cafe, Wagga Wagga International Airport, which by the way is celebrating its 107th birthday today.

The PRC was established when the RAAF were using Longhorn Fighter Aircraft and after a session in one of them you sure needed a rest.

Some say Elsie, who looks after all the pilots today was there when it opened.

Not many people know that in WW2 Elsie was seconded to ASIO to watch for any suspicious activity, second nature to Wag Wags as we know, but in July 1943, what occurred has been only referred to in sealed files up until now. On that Tuesday morning ..................

....... Elsie accidentally & absentmindedly (she was thinking dreamily about her date that night with a young and dashing trainee fighter pilot Planey) sealed a file in an envelope ..... and the rest is history.

That envelope was due to be ..........

PS - Does Turbo's reference to the PRC actually confirm his subliminal loyalty to the People's Republic? Or was it a Freudian (and perhaps Confuciusian) slip by Chairman Tiny Wink? 

More proof is below, if needed.

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo will wait to see what is going on and whether it's under a rug, because Dr McSwain's wife is well known as being a female, however, the NES uncovers a lot of the dark side .....

 

..... of the web & these days the so-called female wife person of Dr McSwain has umpteen genders to choose from, 1 or 2 of which may even be similar to the ones favoured by Turbs, and each of which offers great possibilities to enjoy a quick ..... 

3 hours ago, bull said:

Go and shut bull up for f$%ks sake ,i,ll handle this just keep him quiet ok? No worries said loxie i,ll just..................

..... correct the punctuation in Mcbull's above post and then repost it so that the smooth flow of the NES can be maintained and our delightful NESers will be able to understand it", and with that he efficiently and dispassionately posted .... "Go and shut bull up, for f#%ks sake, I'll handle this, just keep him (referring to bull) quiet, OK?"

"No worries" said Loxie "I'll just..........

...... "Have you seen Turbo's latest post on the NES?"

"No" replied Ratty "I only read the NES for the posts by the monoroot, bull & Salty (plus that one by the CT9000). What has Turbo said this time?".

Ahlox looked sad, drew breath, sighed and replied "He said .......

Loxie's back office at the BOB (actual police surveillance image). Turbo's

description was spot on.

A search of the ownership of Wagga's famous Blue Oyster Bar reveals that it is now owned by BOB#12 Pty Ltd and a further search of that company shows an 80% shareholding by a Mr or Mrs R Lox with the other 20% controlled by a Mr or Mrs (NTTIAWWTBTW) Turd Byne.

Just say'n.

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

".........have a flight plan?"

Onesie looked at the WD with legs still pumping like a pair of FC Holden shock absorbers and said; "do you?" wherupon the WD, like a Facebook troll started to sing "DUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYU" in time with his flying feet.

This was too much for the normally placid onesie and he aimed a high kick at .................

I was there and can attest to the veracity of Turbo's recounting of Onesie's high kick, in fact, below is the picture which I took at the time, however I have photoshopped the CASA nerd out to save him/her from embarrassment.

Now .... on with Turbine's excellent thread ...............

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This was too much for the normally placid onesie and he aimed a high kick at .................

34 minutes ago, onetrack said:

And at that, he gave a quick demonstration of his stamina, putting on a spirited dance that......

.... went a long way to matching bull's Gaelic jig in his kilt, complete with high leg kicks (and flashes) that matched the Can Can ladies in Paris.

34 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Ahhh!", said the witchdoctor. "But you haven't seen the herbs I take

.... and with that, Herb dived for cover and hid under the grandstand as the witchdoctor turned to the uniroute and asked "This is a surprise ramp-check (eventual avref), I am an undercover CASA nerd (avref) and do you ..........

18 minutes ago, bull said:

.the head witch doctor of the mayanmarise for some advice on the best way to........

....... make Mayonnaise.

"Ah, that old joke ... and stop being a dick onesie ... as I have a degree in Witch Doctoring from the University of WA, with a PhD in skull jiggling" said the Witch Doctor. "So call me ........ 

(Ratty apologizes to bull, as he posted at the same time, but has deftly and seamlessly combined the endings of the 2 posts. The Rat wishes bull good luck when he takes the low road today to the Tasmanian Highland Games, which includes bull's favourite events "Tazzy Devil Chucking" [they really don't like it] and "Tossing off Bob Brown" [and neither does he, unless you are gentle].)

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......knucklebone.

OneTrack had once been a butcher, and this explanation was enough to quieten him down.

However he was part Mayanmarise, and we all know what that means, so the next day he visited.................

..... Aung San Suu Kyi in her prison cell and said " Geeez Louise that is a long name. What should I call you?"

"Well not Louise, that's for sure" she replied "Call me .......

On 04/03/2021 at 11:22 AM, turboplanner said:

[A photo of the bull Clan Tartan with young bull aged 12.

Another kilted photo of bull is below, this time flashing coquettishly for the rest of the bull clan and describing his size ...... or the length of the fish he caught recently.

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

Turbo promptly changed the subject away from boxing, and to the Myanmar Junta. "Who told you my brother was head of the Myanmar Junta? He's not the head, he just plays a small part lower down on the junta body, and......

..... his brother is the equivalent, on Turbo's buff body, of his .....

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......labyrinth, having been splintered by the many hits below the belt adminstered by younger, more powerful and shorter boxers from the Tasmanian Boxing Association.

"They always told me boxing was a mug's game", said bull sadly, "that when you started you would be beaten by people who were bigger than you and more powerful, then as you got older they were younger than you and faster, but they never told me TBA had never banned HBBTB in deference to their convict past, or the other thing they do, which is ..........

...... to rub mustard on their ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

[Turbo admits he go it wrong, and the boxer was clearly Loxie; he apologises most profusely, and is currently on sick leave to spend more time with his family.  Moderator 17]

Turbo is forgiven, and thanks Moderator 17. You are the best and I take back at least one of the things I said about you.

PS ..... As Turbs is on "sick leave", just one word of warning as you are relatively new. If Tink wants anything "rubbed better", don't do it.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY SPECIALLY FOR NES CONTRIBUTORS AND OUR THOUSANDS OF READERS/FANS.

As announced months and hundreds of pages ago, Turbo and The Skipper have arranged to buy 30 of the best and lowest hours machines from the below.

https://aviation.pickles.com.au/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=SoarAviation&utm_term=interesttargeting&utm_content=photoad&fbclid=IwAR1vC_nSThylauagZ08WSYrD0DUWdddK9ZTkmCWbPxcdoTWsUMB2IRpJ9CQ

These will be used to assist the Myanmar economy by flying various imported substances in via a small strip in Arnham Land. (Turbo's brother is the head of the Myanmar junta).

But if any others wish to buy a further 10 aircraft please give us a call.

Or if you want a gig flying Foxbats over the Timor Sea under the radar in cyclone season, non-stop from Myanmar, then give Tubb a call or drop him a message to [email protected] 

CLARIFICATION REQUIRED DUE TO NES CONTINUITY PROBLEMS:

Given Turdy's latest post, is Ahlox actually bull .... or are they both from the same boxer litter ..... or is Turbo having his (well known) NES continuity issues again?

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........phone book who once contained the number of every eligible chick in the Riverina, a strapping fireman who strapped his boys every day,

a man who could pick a lock, even if it wasn't locked, a good samaritan who gave travellers a moment of ecstasy when they accidentally locked themselves out of their car or house (a very short moment we should honestly report, but even when they fainted at the bill, he still took them to hospital), a daring flyer in his beercan (although no one can ever recall seeing it take off, just parked out in front of the hangar as he shampooed it every Saturday afternoon), and he was ..............

........ content with his lot in life, just like all other NESers are (except that they sit rather tragically waiting for another response on the NES).

"It's all Eeeeean"s fault" commented Turbo "He started this thread about 15 years ago and here we are, 577 pages later and about 14,300 posts into it and not one problem has been solved, except that Ahlox has buggered off and Planey has the NES back focused (see&avoidref) on aviation (avref) issues."

"Anyway let's get back to Ahlox" said bull (of the historically significant Tasmanian bull clan) "And to Turdboy's statement in the above post that he had been a bit of a boxer. So I want to know what bit of the boxer he resembled?"

Turdy responded quickly "I meant that he looked like a boxer (shortened snout, floppy ears and drools a lot) but now he looks more like a Labradoodle, except for his doodle, which looks more like a .......... 

15 minutes ago, bull said:

....... bit of a boxer in his day ,a long long time ok though now he is just .......

..... a sad, lonely, desperate and somewhat bitter old ph......

..... two of the Wreck Flying forum members who operate as secret (some say secrete) agents for CASA and report to the CASA Board, when they are awake, on all of the adverse comments made by those reprobate AUF types when they .....

.... he fell down to join the rest of the CASA staff for their .....