Captain
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Everything posted by Captain
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... George got very upset if they didn't average 17.5 knots for the entire journey, including farewells, untying, docking/tying up and for visits to several Polynesian islands on the way, where ......
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..... (RM's), which was all the fault of the Admiralty in 1740 when they insisted that all able seamen should climb the yardarm pantless .... which also coincided with a period when there were a number of quite fruity Admirals in charge .... but hey, don't knock it if you haven't tried it, because as the old saying goes ..... That reminds Cappy of when he was completing his Law Degree at Oxford, there was a story going around about Winston Churchill, where his aid briefed him one morning that one of the Lords had been caught in a park overnight being intimate with a guardsman. "Churchill asked "Wasn't the temperature below freezing last night?" to which his aid nodded affirmatively. Then Winston replied, "Makes you proud to be British, doesn't it?"
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... chafed nipples and the skin inflamed on your bum, hence why CCI's orginal ship had been called the Golden Hind-Quarters, and that could also lead to .....
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.... for the competition, so while swearing to abide by the rules, behind their hands it was agreed that if CCVII won, he would be the subjected to tribal law .... and while they told CCVII that he would win a Wahine who might kill him with kindness, and while, like all in his family, this prospect made the blood rush from CCVII's head, in the background astute ears could hear spears being sharpened by the community's Black & Decker angle grinder, which was ......
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Even though the Eastern Road at Redbanks is littered by wrecked cars and dead Diprotodons. This was a valuable development for the local Aboriginal tribe who had been taken to court by a 28 million Aussies Class Action for selfishly & systematically exterminating these lovable big wombats over the last 20,000, 40,000, 60,000 years .... and here they were, now able to prove in open court that the big buggers were still around and that the tribe/clan/nation had been doing the country a favor by keeping the roads uncluttered by these oversized hairy-arsed dangers to traffic.
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... a good and worthy break along the North Shore where CCVII could get a decent left, as he was a goofy footer and his triple fin 10-footer meant that he could .......
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"So, no $150 hamburgers for us mate" commented the AK with a glint in his eye and glancing at CCVII's pink succulent calf.
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.... he wanted to be friendly and cooperative, like are all of the members of the Cook family, but several technical issues got in the way. "Excuse me my good chap" said CCVII, ever the gentleman (and always bearing in mind what befell CCI in this region due to a sharp object between the shoulder blades) "But what are the good people of Kealakehua Bay doing with the guts of an extinct car-sized Aussie wombat (a good example of which was found at Redbanks, just east of Burra, SA,) and when + how did you learn that their guts kept the green gas in, while also complying with the FAA regulations contained in 14 CFR Part 31 – Airworthiness Standards: Manned Free Balloons, with particular reference to the several operational rules in Part 91 and certification/maintenance rules in Part 21 and Part 43?" The affable Kamehamehan (AK), thought a moment, gave them an embarrassingly long scratch, pulled out the byelaws of the Kamehameha Fixed Wing and Balloon Club (the KFW&BC), and quoted from the Introduction which said "........
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Not many people know that Cappy has been locked in a long and mutually pleasurable relationship with one of Ned's female progeny from his secret life in Qld. After a long session after which she expressed effusive thanks, she gave Cappy the original of a secret sepia rubbing showing Ned's brother on the way to Melbourne, block of ice in place. You can see where the armor had chafed him, as he was a different fit to Ned on the armor sizing scale, but squeezed into it never- the-less, in order to save his more famous brother. This has great historic significance and ties together so well the ground-breaking data disclosed in Tink's recent long post. PS This rubbing is now being considered for inclusion on the obverse of the new $5 note.
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And so Dear Readers. How can someone of Crappy's limited composition skills follow that. Crappy is overwhelmed. Turdboy wins the NES story development skill quest and at the same time kills off the NES as Crappy feels inadequate and will now go back into his box, ...................... some say good. Prior to his retirement Cappy can however attest that Rob's story is correct as Cappy's bushranger rello, Thunderbox, always reckoned that Ned made a cameo showing at the annual B&S Ball (Bushrangers and Sinners Ball) where he was inducted into the Bushranger's Hall of Fame.
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.... when they all fell into a boredom induced slumber and Turbo, ever the opportunist, went to visit their womenfolk.
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.... sending his twice hung body up to his ancestral home of Kellyville in Sydney, where his old mum gave him a belting with an RM Williams belt, buckle side out, for being a naughty boy and not apologising for his bad behaviour. Then it was back to Melbournistan on the train with a block of ice on his chest to contain the wiff, to be photographed and ......
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..... he realized from 1st hand experience what can happen to a good looking overseas skippy in the confines of a small room. Hence why Turbine Private Prison Intervention SystemS (T-PPISS) was registered in Vicmanistan and started construction (without approval mind-you, using Tubb's petty change, and to quote Turbs "Someone has to make a quid out of the rampant Mextorian crime wave") on the site of a disused piggery at Corowa, and where ..... This was the very piggery where the cravat wearing GFA flyboy Cappy used to eke his final bit of lift late in the day off the big rusty tin roof when struggling to make it back to Corowa after a 1750 mile cross country.
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..... that all of the blokes had to wear Copilli head dresses, see below, and wear a lap lap, commando style. Not many people know that a Teocalli has recently been discovered in an olive plantation near Coolamon and below is a photo taken on Anzac Day. This was all a bit of a ...... All the blokes have to dress like this at future B&S balls, and I had to crop the bottom off the photo to prevent showing his. The below has been dated from pottery chards as built around 800 AD, so who would have thunk it for little old Coolamon, the ancestral home of Evonne Goolagong.
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Apologies for the error dear NESers. In true Riverina form, the town would actually be named Las Choapas Choapas, meaning the place or many Choapas-es.
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... Choapas, where he planned to form a skippy version of the Cartel Jalisco Nueva Generación (CJNG), to be known as the C-JINGOS where, as the El Mencho of OZ, he would be known as that hated by CASA aviation rebel El-Marty “Minimums‑Schminimums” Manchego, however this new Cartel attracted adverse attention from the "Vicmanistan UN of Criminals Conglomerate" (the VUNoCC) where the Somali, Ethiopian, Carlton Crew and the Moorabbin Maulers had teamed up under the leadership of .......
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The BOB's loudspeaker system had also been knocked off from the hostie communication system on one of REX's Saabs, along with the jump seat that they sat on ....... and the main band at the BOB comprised a bunch of off-shift Firies playing by & with themselves.
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.... is set to be a Riverina record for a ramshackle fire-prone hovel with the roof painted matt black, and a heap of strobe lights that had been stolen off parked up REX aircraft at Wagga International Air & Space Port. And with those aircraft parked up, the hosties were excess to requirements, flight-wise, so all volunteered to become BOB Gogo dancers, even the bloke hosties, and that is when Loxie first realized that he was perhaps a bit "happy" in that Village People/YMCA/neat & tidy mustache meaning of the term, so he decided to "come out" that he was g.....
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...... idden by way of injunction and sealed for 30 years (like wartime Cabinet papers), in order to protect the public. That, however, didn't stop TurbOT from sweeping the public, both domestic and international, off their feet, because of the ......
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..... put together a media organization that is little known to the public of Sandern Australia, but the smart money (and all of the slush fund from the Southern Cross CWA) are backing him, with the media spin doctors (Turbine PR [icksref]) having positioned OT as the Kerry packer of the 20's & 30's, where he will soon lecture a Senate committee on the benefits of tax minimization. TPR have just advised that OT will henceforth be known as "The Goanna", but presently is just the "BlueTongue", which is quite a rise from "The Gecko". Onesie has risen to the occasion, because he gets aroused at being treated this way, and he has taken to ...... OT, headed to his media HQ while wearing his latest onesie. No wonder he gets all the chics.
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It is nice to see that Bernie gets Cappy's crappy jokes ...... well, one of them anyway. Bernie is an NES lurker of renown.
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.... at that applies to OT in spades, but also to our best mate Tubb, who specializes in Cat-Farms & Cat-Houses, and only little Jimmy Chalmers (a 2nd JC) knows from the Turbine conglomerate's sanitized accounts, as submitted to the Aussie Tax Office (and on-sold to 4 Corners), from which source Turdy makes the most money. It is little known, and even less understood, how OT and his CAT spare parts business/ripoff can have outsold WesTrac for the past decade, and have .....
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Here is a photo from PG back just as OT started to sit under the tree when he was in his early 30's, and before he became a leading WA AUF member. Not many people know of the existence of this photo. Those steel rimed wheels really smart when they run over your legs, hence his mangled lower limbs and walking frame. Back then OT looked exactly like a young Tom Cruise in Top Gun (avref), ............ but without the charisma.
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..... the WA elite, where he can often be seen sitting with no mates under a boab tree (the Adansonia Gregorii genus, as named by Adan, Sonia and Greg from Perth Uni as a bit of a wank, and an in-joke), in the middle of Leake St (well named given his continence issues) at Peppermint Grove, sucking on a flat of (you beauty Bondy) Swan Lager and picking the sand out of his jocks, before heading (avref) ...... OT's boab tree and that's his P'mint Grove holiday house on the right. Note the stains on the bottom of the trunk lower right where he has been caught short a few times. He is often seen sitting on a stack of stubbies with his back against the trunk at lower left, yelling at passersby, and swearing at cars that almost run over his legs, which are thankfully short, see Tom Cruise reference above.
