Captain

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......Gucci wallet made of pigskin with ermine trim.

Turbo had bought a carton of embossed "B"s for back and sewed them on, but he coul never remember whether the B was for Bonzed Aussie Icon or back, so he had another box embossed "A".

This started his embossing period where he had the cars embossed with a C, the aircraft fleet with A, the houses H and so on and lived an orderly life until .......

...... Turbo way more Zebras than he had embossed Z's & his Aardvark collection was causing ......

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

To which Turbo would reply. "I have this problem with......

...... the front blade sight catching in my thong and scratching my ......

(It is well known in Vicmanistan society that since 1st trying them at the age of 15, Turbo has often had trouble working out which way around thongs are to be worn).

A FAMOUR PHOTO OF TURBO IN THE THONG AT ONE OF

THE PAINTERS & DOCKERS HOTELS IN THE PORT OF MELBOURNE

19 hours ago, bull said:

,now this made all my previous effort of cleaning out my pants a waste of time because the flow was........

........, as Turbo so graciously put it, forever after known as "Nob's leavings", which has now entered the Urban Language Dictionary (down in the streets where Turbo thrives, eh dude) and should not be confused with ......

PS ... Medical observation by Dr Cappy ....... If those are Nobu's leavings as shown in bull's above photo, those tail fins would have hurt coming out and would have had Nobu squinting even more, just say'n.

25 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.......

You see, the Japanese effectively didn't know a pavement pebble from a Japanese Garden pebble! - and this was one of the major reasons why they lost the War! That, and the fact that the Zeroes couldn't handle.........

.... 4 inch (turboref) boondies clattering off the tip of their props, which made their .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... dog leavings .....

And there, dear readers, is another example of Turbo's command of the beautiful lingua franca of the multinational aviation (avref) world. Cappy is in awe yet again.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo respectfully reminds Cappy that use of the word PEBBLES is akin to calling a Zerhoff 3383 MK II a "Cessna", the word Taxiway forms no part of the description and is tacked on later by flying people much the same as people call themselves "mountain climbers" when referring to early Pleistocene uplift climbers. "Mix" is a disgusting term not used in the industry. This is known simply as 3383A which clearly defines it so we all know exactly how to replicate it. 

And there, dear readers, encapsulated in those few wonderful lines, is the reason why Turdy is the international pavement expert that he is. Not one word wasted and a Billy Shakespeare sonet like quality to it too. I am in awe as usual.

.... this also meant that the TGSI pie warmer was also out of action, which was a real .....

48 minutes ago, bull said:

And now the Border force found on google earth his plane could not be seen anywhere on his strip and..........

.... that is the hidden story behind each 230, as once they lift off (avref) the neck breaking torque & pulse of those 6 fantastic cylinders means that they can speed in silent majesty, which is why J230s are known of the F117 of the ultralight world, & that dear friends has led to .......

A FLIGHT OF J230s ON THEIR WAY TO NATFLY WITH A

COUPLE OF F22s TRYING TO KEEP UP

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The tower controller responded by routing all the heavy equipment over the aircraft which now looked like a .........

..... DG bunny, 14 days after being shot by that CT in the north paddock on taxiway G at his DG International Passenger & Freight Hub (see below drone photo). That bunny has really copped it as taxiway G is used by all of the 380's that come and go to whichever of the terminals they are designated to.

The squashed Jab meant that .....

NOTE THE NUMBER OF PEBBLES IN CT'S TAXIWAY MIX & I WILL BE

INTERESTED IN TURBO'S COMMENTS AS HE IS AN EXPERT IN SUCH THINGS.

12 hours ago, bull said:

crashed jabiru,,and leaped out of the little machine to a ..................................

..... hero's welcome, as bull, ever the non-conformist just .....

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

......where uninvited visitors arriving for coffee in cheap aluminium dinghies, were looked down upon with huge disdain, on a par with arriving in a.......

.... Jackoffroo and landing on the main strip at Avalon, after which bull mooned the crowd as he accelerated down Taxiway C almost at takeoff speed, then chucked a deliberate ground loop to park the Jackoff in the middle of the intersection with C & A, between an F35 and a ........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

".......Why didn't I think of that?" and Turbo offered to sell him 50,000 shares in "Turbine Climate Change Ltd" at $728.00 per share.

Cappy didn't know the statue was on a submersible barge so he handed over his cash with alacrity and also with speed.

They made a killing, at one point buying Brighton homes for as little as $50.00, With all the homeowners having vacated the Bay area, for places like Perth and Bororoloola there was no one who knew where the shoreline should be, and one morning the citizens of southeast Melbourne awoke to see that the water level had fallen down to Turbo's tongs.

"We can make a killing again", said Cappy but his face paled as he saw an ad for Brighton Homes starting at $4 million, from Turbine Climate Changed Back Ltd.

 

"What about my share he wailed?" "There was a rush on the shares" replied Turbo, "and I was lucky to get a good parcel before they sold out"

 

Cappy was wise in these matters and checked the share register, finding all the shares owned by Turbine Statue Ltd.

 

Quietly, he registered Captain Cook's Seaside Cottages Limited, spent some time in Bunnnings buying certain tools, went to Mordialloc, and hired a dinghy with 20 hp four stroke Great Wall motor, and headed for the statue after night fell.

 

He didn't have to disguise himself because he knew Turbo had gone to Aspen for a month.

 

The next morning the water level in the Bay had risen to Turbo's neck, and Cappy put out a press release to say that Climate Change was about to occur within the next week. The Bayside population swallowed this because they were always being told climate change was coming, and none have ever thought to check the Williamstown Tidal Gauge.

 

Cappy bought the whole of Brighton from the new owners for $750.00 and a bottle of champagne each for the owners, and that night hired the dinghy, went out to the statue, closed the Bunnings Gate valve and started the Bunnings sump pump, and ...........

 

..... then .....

4 hours ago, Captain said:

ALSO NOTE THAT TUBB IS NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR, SO NO PANTY-LINE

IS SHOWING BELOW HIS SHEAR SILK SEE-THROUGH ROBE.

.... and at the time of the Summer Equinox the statue acts a bit like Stonehenge, the druids gather around the rock, and with the sun in the west it shines through his shear silk see-through robe and you can see his ........

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........reprobate Cappy sits around drinking gin, ordering salmon sandwiches, monopolosing the movie theatre, and embarassing the Starlets with his old Polaroid Camera.

 

It's simply not true that the white speck out there in Port Phillip Bay is a rock on which Turbo places budding Starlets dressed as mermaids to rook Italian and Greek fishermen outa ona da bay to catch Snappings, but instead is ..........

 

...... a 40 times life-size statue of Turbo with his arms outstretched Corcovado-like, providing the people of Melbourne with the inspiration that ......

THIS IS THE ACTUAL LIFELIKE STATUE OF TURBO ON THE PORT PHILLIP ROCK

SCULPTED TO SHOW TURBO'S PRESENT BEARD AND LONG HAIRED LOOK.

ALSO NOTE THAT TUBB IS NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR, SO NO PANTY-LINE

IS SHOWING BELOW HIS SHEAR SILK SEE-THROUGH ROBE.

On 25/05/2022 at 9:40 PM, Captain said:

to be used as a Manse, where the .......

..... usual and questionable Manse type stuff goes on, and that .....

THE MANSE OF THE DIOCESE OF MOORABBIN/BRIGHTON

FROM WHICH TURBO OPERATED DURING HIS ECCLESIASTICAL PERIOD

...... series of 5 pink dongas, ex Gina's Roy Hill iron ore mine, to be used as a Manse, where the .........

PS ... Gina. When you read this as you browse Wreck Flying, ........ please stop calling me & crying during your messages. I am already taken and cannot be bought for casual liaisons.

14 hours ago, bull said:

spike protien specialist,custom designed too said Ah Choo,why we can and have already..................

...... given them the boot from the Temple, just like Jesus did, and we have also flicked them from all Wreck Flying Clubs, just like .....

JESUS GIVING THE MONEY LENDERS A FLOGGING, UNTIL HE FOUND OUT THAT

THE BLOKE IN THE BACK WAS OFFERING CONCESSIONAL RATES FOR WRECK

AIRCRAFT AND JACKOFFROO PURCHASES, THRU TURBINE FINANCE CORPORATION (OFFICES IN JERUSALEM & MOORABBIN).

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....it was the homeland of the Tasmanian Tiger, a cross-bred misshapen mess which became extinct as a result of the spread of Tiger Pox, and the Tasmanian Devil which had a narrow escape from extinction after the Devil Pox epidemic, Just how bull had caught monkey pox nobody knew, but

..... it was soon disclosed that bull has been buying Monkey brand 2-Stroke oil (although as he gets older 2 strokes and a picture of Betty White just doesn't do it for him any more).

The Monkey brand 2 Stroke oil is marketed by Turbine Cheap Oils P/L and is made from child slave labour that have been photographed squeezing the gland on the monkey's ....... 

THIS PHOTO OF BETTY USED TO GET THE JOB DONE FOR BULL

(UNTIL HE DEVELOPED THE LESIONS FROM THE MONEY POX)

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........confusion at the Melbourne Club which was still "Men Only". On his trips to Melbourne Cappy always called in for a gin and a read of the Times to phsych himself up before an important meeting with his mining interests like BHP.

There was a lot of nervousness at the Club ........

..... because Cappy was rumoured to be "Doing an Albo" (which does not mean that Cappy intends to "do" some other Albo ....... NTTIAWWT if he was) but instead that the Skipper was perhaps intending to reintroduce Julia Gillard's membership application to join the blokes only Melbourne Club ................... "After all" said Ratty "She just about qualifies".

As we all know Julia is famous for saying "There will be no Recreational Aviation under the Government I lead" and the old poohbahs at the MC thought that was ..........

bULL IN HIS TASMANIAN REGALIA AS A TYPICAL POOHBAH

[PLEASE NOTE THAT IS AS "A TYPICAL", NOT "A-TYPICAL"]

..... touch .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...furballs, but he had let his attention wander from his PIC job, and the Jacka was one aircraft where that could be fatal. It viciously dropped a wing and lifted its tail, streaking straight down for ..........

....... an almost certain encounter with shock cooling and that tiny bit of aileron flutter that Tubb always finds so thrilling, until of course somebody loses an ...... 

THE JACKOFF'S ENGINE AFTER THE SHOCK COOLING EPISODE

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

[Tears came to Turbo's eyes as he saw Cappy's inclusion of Z in the above post. Turbo had been a Z for a few years, and had had to battle the revulsion from people who found out he ws a Z. No one bothers about the kiddies seeing grown men kissing, but Zs just never get a break, being arrested, beaten up and generally treated as outcasts]

Because nobody could ever decide, definitively, whether Z's are white with black stripes of black with white stripes.

TURBO DURING HIS "Z PHASE"

Here in his "Punk" Sub-Phase

And here during his provocative "Point it at the Camera" Sub-Phase

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

There was a "Poof!" (respects etc) and the way was clear and he kept doing this until he was above the .........

....... Hobart GLBTQMRZ Mardi Gras where he sprayed (which he really does need to stop, as it makes a mess in the Jackoff's cock-pit) more hairspray and flicked his lighter again.

"Poof, poof, poof" bull said, as he counted the .......

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

......habitat of the wax wasp, which is an extremely rare variety of wasp that is on the endangered species list. What is even more concerning to the Greens, and other Bob Brown supporters, who aren't entirely green, is that the wasp's entire lifespan is spent.....

....... spitting out hair.

Because the Tasmanian Wax Wasp (the Cera Vespula Vulgaris), also sometimes identified as the Brazilian Wax Wasp, was previously known as the "Van Diemans Land Hairy Wasp", but since the large supply of wax 1st arrived in Stanley on the Brazilian cargo ship "Smooth", those VDLH wasps have taken to the wax like no-body's business and therefore the Tazzy air is filled with tiny particles of their hair and the wasps are coughing up minute hairballs that mess up car windscreens at night when it is drizzling (which is almost always).

But bull had the solution in his hand (he actually does that a bit excessively these days) and he .........

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........repair any Commodore and even repair through bolts on aircraft, or nosewheel .....................

.... wooses that can't handle tail draggers.

That gave bull a brilliant idea, as he reckons that with a 1/2 tonne of wax & the related paraphernalia down in Tassy, he could .........