Captain

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

......been raised in an Indigenous gunyah on the outskirts of Coonabarabran (can I actually say that word? - why hasn't that towns name been changed?), by an old toothless part-Indigenous great-grandmother, who had found Turbo wandering the streets of Coonabarabran (there's that word again!), at age 3, clad only in a ........

..... used Qantas flight attendant's .......

(Sorry Onesie, we should have sent a despatch that the town is now called Cheersabarabran ......... although another change is possible, as bran is now being seen as offensive by the Anti Keeps-You-Regular Alliance [The AKYRA])

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........rules, the most important one being "For every new rule, 5 existing rules must be extinguished made inert and invisible."   There were crowds in the street at its proclamation, and .....

.... there were soon lit signs at all major intersections Australia wide saying "Turdy for PM (If only he had grown up in Public Housing)".

However Turdy had actually grown up in dire circumstances, and it was soon disclosed  that he had .....

21 hours ago, bull said:

fleas, and to contain the smell ,,now..............

..... reaching epic .....

3 hours ago, bull said:

..... rolled around in the .....

 

..... hay, which had been inserted (suggestivewordingref) into the bottom of the barrel to absorb the ........

1 hour ago, bull said:

and this has caused a major reshuffiling amongst the casa crowd ,after they all put their names in a barrel and one was chosen for the bust of the century and sent to Bowen river and...........

...... experience the wonderful sights, sounds and smells of outback Queensland.

But however bad that was, it was still better than having to be in the casa barrel at each Friday evening drinks session, or worse still at the casa Xmas Party where whoever was rostered for "barrel duty" was ........

15 hours ago, bull said:

curtling ..........

As an aside to the NES, Cappy notes that this has been misspelled and the correct spelling is "turtling".

As all male NESers would know from their flying whoopsies, the dictionary meaning of Turtling is ................. "The act of the male penis shrinking in horror and retreating into the abdomen whenever danger is present or a very unpleasant, anti-arousing thought is experienced. Much the same way a turtle retracts it's head into its shell when faced with danger."

Now back to the NES ........................................................ and to un-turtle.

43 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.......fly in the ointment, the bloke known around Kapookistan as "The Rat". He gained this moniker thanks to his continual furtive looks, and style of quick, short movements, before darting into the next set of shadows - as if at any moment, something or someone would step out, and grab him, and say, ".........

..... "Have you had your bubonic plague vaccine shots yet, and show me your inoculation certificates".

El Ratso was indignant, truculant & agro, all at the same time "I'll have you know that I am a CFI and therefore I am at the top of the aviation .....

1 hour ago, bull said:

Rare photo of Turbo's last BFR at Kapooka International. Note the specially reinforced dual nose-wheel for Tubb's usual nose landings. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times during his last 60 years of BFRs, "It's a tricycle undercarriage, not a unicycle, so try to flare this time & use it all please Turdboy." then I close my eyes and commit to fate.

6 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....has his glasses on. Then there arose the regular problem, in that numerous users started reporting that their credit card melted upon near contact with the EGR, which meant the transaction was annulled - and immediately a transaction for emissions payment was declined, the software locked the controls, which immediately meant that......

...... Turbo was always seen flying with his left wing 10 degrees low (Turboflyingref), which I have been trying to correct each time he comes to me for his mates-rates/always-pass, BFR, when I always say .......

..... the personal EGR is also hard to fit, particularly for blokes, because it chafes on the sticky outy bits + the personal exhaust gas collector tube (PEGCT) is a little large because the government purchasing department (GPD) got the lowest tender from a bloke in Manjimupupmup who had a job lot on 75 mm pipe.

The credit card swipe device for the PEGCT was also uncomfortable as it was located at the back right where the plumber's crack (PC) can normally be spotted when Onesie wears his stubbies &  ......

45 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....fly [avref]....................

.... up (avref) .....

On 11/06/2022 at 6:37 PM, bull said:

..... the local tarts .......... sauntered slinkily

Dear NESers ...... It is obvious from the above that bull knows all of the "sexy phraseology" and has evidently been sauntered over to slinkily after one of his textbook landings in his Jackoffroo.

On 11/06/2022 at 6:37 PM, bull said:

.the local tarts thought that it was their night and sauntered slinkily over to the whirlybird pilots ,but soon went back to their seats after mumbling something about F#$king boys toys alright they are all..........

...... terrified that they are going to experience ring-state settling, & up their vortexes what's more, but let me tell you" said one of the best of the local Tarts (TurboRef) "That there will be no "settling" permitted (CasaRef) where I am involved."

"One of them whispered that he even wanted to use the Vuichard method on me" said another of the local Tarts "But I told him that would cost extra and that he should just use his usual .....

..... tandem aircrafts.

"We like our ultralight seating to be side-by-side, same like our shotguns" said .....

18 minutes ago, onetrack said:

.....this drove the local Gramma Poleece quite insane. The Poleece were constantly going around with spray cans, correcting the taggers spellink - but there came the day (night, actually) when one of the Poleece was  caught with a spray can in his hand, spraying.......

.... Wogga Wogga on all the proper Wagga Wagga signs, and as a result, 100,000 people moved in from Griffith, and Wogga became the main destination for Italians & Sicilians who were escaping InterPol in U-rope, as they all are.

Soon more signs appeared saying "The Please R A-Wholes" "Welease Wodger", "Wot about Wodewick?" and "Donald McKay is alive & well, living in Armidale" (But without the inverted commas .... or "upside down commos" as they called them),  because-a in Seecily they-a .......

..... Mavis, who was 5 at the time, but even at that age was ......

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....strain of Afghan Shitszu which started rounding up the bunnies and driving them into town where ............

...... a young boy named Pat, a flute, a gherkin and a long piece of wood, were used to .......

.... XXX video which showed ....

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......DC who's been shooting swallows to make pies will be the new Dingo dogger for outer  Mount Isa where there are some very rough types................

..... and that's just at the CWA Meetings.

Based on Turbo's post it is clear that Dogging has come to Isa, just like it is now the main activity 5 nights each week in DG, which .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.................white birds...............................

.... lives matter (WBLM) as who else would make the sandwiches for the Fly-Ins, and that ......

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....ratchet.....

..... which bull missread to be "Racket".

And speaking of rackets, bull had had an epiphany after he read about the AOA's (AllOverAirfield's) [and not the cheaper & more rudimentary AOF concept as proposed by Turbs].

"That is where Grollo went wrong" said bull "As they wasted their time trying to build stuff. bull Enterprises (bE) will take the opposite approach and I have recently purchased 500 new houses from successful 1st home buyers and will be knocking them down to make another AOA. My company will rhyme with Grollo and will be named after an idea that my # 3 girlfriend provided (bull has always had several girlfriends on the go, & competing for his favors at any given time, since puberty). My new company will be called "Swallow" and we will henceforth be known for our ...........

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....$396,000. Sm who knew a thing or two about business said "Where did it say that in the contract".

The Kinchrome salesman, like many was notorious for his sloppy paperwork, and .........

.... was also a bit sloppy with his .....

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...about to move to a new home at the now derelict Wagga Wagga International Airport, where once you could see pioneer AUF aircraft builders like Cappy talking sh!t with tourists about how he built a Jabiru in a week, and Loxie showing up in his Lycra, hair flattened with Brylcreme he'd bought from antique dealers, juming into his Beercan, once s state of the art well-known brand (The brand owner had personally flown out from the Czech Republic and ripped his brand name off it after hearing of some of Loxie's escapades like overshooting and touching down on Baillie St, where he was met by ..........

..... an adoring crowd, Charles Lindberg or Charlie Kingsford Smith like.

"More like Amy Johnson" said a young boy, dressed in a school uniform which showed that he was from ..........

.... Turbine Museum of Aviation Achievements (the TMOAA) which is ......

4 hours ago, Captain said:

...... Turbo had way more Zebras than he had embossed Z's & his Aardvark collection was causing ......

Apologies Onesie, but we appear to have posted at exactly the same time.

I of course now yield my time to the learned gentleman from the West.

THESE THINGS ARE NOW MULTIPLYING OUT OF CONTROL ON ALL OF TURBO'S

COUNTRY ESTATES .................. BUT FORTUNATELY NOT WITH EACH OTHER ...... YET.

(IT IS, HOWEVER, RUMOURED THAT TURDY HAS DIRECTED HIS TRUSTED  GAMEKEEPERS

TO BUILD BOXES FOR THE LADY AARDVARKS TO STAND ON, AS HIS MARKET SURVEYS HAVE INDICATED THAT THERE IS A QUID TO BE MADE WITH STRIPED AARDVARKS).