Captain

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

Peter Dutton was ecstatic, this was the secret weapon he needed to take back the........

...... parliamentary pants height controls ........ as low pants or off-pants is not the major issue, because there are more than a few members in the Harry high-pants category.

As we all know from having to deal with their posts, there are also some Harry-High-Pants that have also infiltrated Wreck Flying.

"I agree" said Penny Wong "This new high-pants fad is a problem for somebody who is 4' 6" tall and I am sick and tired of ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

squealer sent you that; not me.

Will Onesie and bull please contact me to discuss what we are going to do about the Squealer, whoever he/she or it may be.

This poster, under the name of the Squealer has been an issue since post #2 of the NES and I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....quite powerful. NES readers will remember that Malcolm Fraser's pants were struck down in Texas one night, and .......................

..... this all proves that dark forces are at work, which is a bit of a worry when you are already relying on several forces, including friction, drag (avref & childhoodeducatorref & gayref), plus lift (avref & elevatorref) to keep from .....

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The AUF's best friend, Barnaby Joyce was distraught when he heard about this; he had secretly always wanted to become Minister for Aviation and Ultralights and before he had recovered he was on the phone to Little Albo who had been a Minister of Aviation (which no one remembers). NES readers will receall recent News coverage of this, but of course they didn't know the reason that Barnaby had been struck down, or what he said which was ......................................

.... that he had been affected by the same fall-down-cult (FDC) that had thrown Dan down the stairs, and by coming after Barnaby they demonstrated that they were indiscriminate/a-political as to affiliation and similarly as to stairs vs flat.

Given that both Danny and Barnaby were damaged as a result, this force was ....

3 hours ago, Captain said:

..... simply are just not as much fun as their trickster colleagues at the Tax Office, or those wags down at the Canberra Morgue.

 

As a result, the words "joke", "fun", "humour ", "pathos", and "double entendre" have been classified as misinformation and extreme right-wing under the new legislation, which caused .....

..... The NES to be shut down after being classified as an extreme right-wing terrorist organisation, and Wreck Flying to be exposed as a part of the ISIS Aviation Network, partly membered up by the Aussie Pensioner's Action Party (the much-feared APAP) and controlled, at least in part, by the Turbine Muslim Infiltration Network (the TMIN) (musref).

The members of Wreck Flying voted as one, to ......

12 hours ago, Captain said:

This fun side of the AUF is, for some strange reason, something that CASA are having a bit of trouble accepting, and they .....

..... simply are just not as much fun as their trickster colleagues at the Tax Office, or those wags down at the Canberra Morgue.

As a result, the words "joke", "fun", "humour ", "pathos", and "double entendre" have been classified as misinformation and extreme right-wing under the new legislation, which caused .....

19 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......all the real pilots will know that the above photo is only a side view of the 03/21 runway. A bit short but plenty wide.........

.... and that, dear readers, is the problem of the AUF, encapsulated in one post.

The instruction in some idiotic handbook, or other, says land along the long skinny bit, but the CT immediately opts to land on the short wide bit.

This fun side of the AUF is, for some strange reason, something that CASA are having a bit of trouble accepting, and they .....

1 hour ago, Captain said:

.... it eventually became essential, a rule even, to take-off (avref) and to take-on (avref) by using the long & skinny dimension of the runway (avref) (modelingref), and .....

Cappy understands that there is still animosity about this rule being forced on AUF members, so just to be helpful to those NESers that are still having trouble with it, below are 2 photos of what a runway looks like when correctly oriented (asianavref) down the long bit.

PS - Tip for StewedAnts - You don't always have to use 30 right if your airport doesn't have one, just take-off or land-on down the long bit .... At the moment, choice of wind direction is optional although the AUF is expected to say something about that in 2025. (Tip - It adds adventure and derring-do, + demonstrates refined piloting skills, to occasionally take-off and land-on with-the-wind when it is above 15 knots gusting 30.)

Turbo modelling the latest AUF merch down another runway. As you can see, he can be unnecessarily petulant at times like this.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......best temporary, ,because AUF really managed the pilots and had set very high standards.

For example, ....................

.... it eventually became essential, a rule even, to take-off (avref) and to take-on (avref) by using the long & skinny dimension of the runway (avref) (modelingref), and .....

3 hours ago, bull said:

...."Manky places as part of his..............

..... decision to adopt a wild, extravagant and drug/booze fueled late life experimental lifestyle that would make Bob Marley blush.

This meant that his membership od the AUF was at .....

26 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....leg bangles. ......

It was a nuisance, and he did't care about the de-bagging as Labor called their custom but it took the best part of an hour to get it back on, and Albo's time was important because he ..................

.... he had to meet with his Union Controllers (UC's) to get his policy directions ...... and after the photo session he hadn't yet had time to put the hardware back into all his piercings. 

Albo carries enough SS in his piercings to set off airport (avref) metal detectors at 100 yards (91.435 metres), hence why he takes the company jet (avref) all the time, in order to by-pass security. As can be seen in many photos, the blonde lass that accompanies him always carries 2 litres of peroxide to treat each piercing if it goes manky, and that happens fairly often, given that Albo frequents lots of ......

AN EARLY PHOTO OF THE PEIRCINGS IN JUST ONE OF HIS EARS. THERE ARE MANY MORE NOW, YES EVEN THERE. AS IS OBVIOUS, THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN WHEN HE ALSO HAD HIS HAIR DOWN PAST HIS SHOULDERS .... BEFORE GOING WITH HIS DREADLOCKS (A LOOK THAT WAS SUGGESTED BY TONY BURKE).

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....even State Premiers and Police Commissioners joined in.....but not Big Al who had once been Minister for Aviation and in an outburst against TRikes had said............"

... I don't enjoy their butch haircuts, their tattoos or their .....

This is strange as Turbs himself (he her it) has a Mohawk and a full sleeve just like Buddy Franklin's.

..... cancel the Trikes on Bikes section of the Indonesian, Chinese and Iranian G&L Mardi Gras Circuit, as organised by Turbine Mardi Gras and other Gay Stuff Pty Ltd (TMGaoGS) which is run in a manner similar to the rotating Aussie show circuit, where ......

Turbo is great mates with the Ayatollah and his motto with TMGaoGS is "You too can make a profit with the Prophet".

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Ultralights

... (avref)

10 hours ago, onetrack said:

........his only character flaw is a seething hatred of bunnies, with the very sight of cottontails turning him from a mild-mannered aerobatic jock, into a red-necked, foamy-mouthed aviation terror, straight out of the finest Quentin Tarantino movie, dealing sudden death with explosive ordnance onto any naive and unsuspecting........

..... non Flight Design owner.

This brand loyalty earnt this erstwhile forum member the equivalent of an AO from several European countries that provide the bits to FD (the EU themselves would have awarded him one except that his aircraft was not a certified zero emission device and he has not accepted 5 illegal immigrants to live in his home indefinitely).

The result, and the BIG news, is that he was also given a commendation from the ?? Progress Association which was written on the back of a square of recycled dunny paper, so he placed that commendation ......

Cappy knows this forum member (FM) well and feels that rather than Onesie's Tarantino movie analogy, Cappy thinks he looks more like a cross between Klaus Schwab & Darth Vader in latter life, with the mask off and after 7 solid weeks bingeing on the turps. (See photo below taken in the ?? Coffee Shop yesterday).

BASED ON THIS, ?? IS THE NEW DAVOS AND DANNY ANDREWS IS MOVING THERE TO PLAY GOLF AND AVOID STAIRS.

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....and who sometimes wears a red bow tie when he's flying .................

... and coloured undies when he's .....

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and it's not general knowledge that one of the verses points directly to a member of this forum who...................

...se mates down at the ?? Progress Association call him Killa and ......

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....sometimes called "The Fumigator", and can be seen ...................

..... killing feral animals indiscriminately with a spray of 22 projectiles like those from a Wart Hog's (avref) gatling gun, plus a few domestic puppies that got in the way, about which the below song was written .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was indeed at the Burqua for one of the first rides; he had been looking for Cappy to discuss the poor performance of his own ride, but Cappy managed to appear busy and frowned at any interruptions and he new friends the Arabs joined in frowning at him, so Turbo tipped off the US Internal Revenue Service who flew a team out in Turbos Challenger [avref] and .........

..... he charged them well over the odds ..... then he used his legal & administrative training (Turbo was one of the few Aussies to be made a Lord in the UK, to have been admitted to the bar in France, and to have been awarded an Iron Cross in Germany) and as a QC (now a KC) Turbo defended Cappy in the court of public opinion and in the Supreme Court of Tasmania (the Tasmanians think it is "Supreme" but it is actually pretty ordinary) where Turbo made history, again, and created legal precedent, again, by .....

The Supreme Court building in Hobart, down by Consternation Dock.

The Judge's chambers are downstairs via a back entrance.

24 minutes ago, Captain said:

The below photo shows the Kabul Eye after the burqa was installed. It cuts down on the view, but is halal certified, so you can't have everything. This photo taken from Taliban HQ, approx. 7 kms away as the RPG flies (avref). This pic does not show the light on the top to warn off aircraft (avref) on approach to Kabul International Airport (avref) (presently a little smaller that DG International, but no Mafia burial complications and competing hard to be the world's greatest freight hub).

This may all appear to be a little far-fetched to some of our hundreds of newer NES readers, but your Cappy can attest to its correctness, and I am certain that the TurgidPlonker will back me up on this too, as he was there and was an honoured guest on one of the 1st rides. (Turbine Muslim Enterprises (TME) actually provided partial equity funding for the burqa, at very favourable rates).

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy walking out of an opium den.

He didn’t have much option but to become an Operator but jacked up at having to wear the National costume.

Cappy retaliated by pocketing the takings until.....

..... he had enough to buy his own ferris wheel that would be bigger than the London Eye.

That was the easy part, but then he had to buy a burqa to cover it, and that ......

The below photo shows the Kabul Eye after the burqa was installed. It cuts down on the view, but is halal certified, so you can't have everything. This photo taken from Taliban HQ, approx. 7 kms away as the RPG flies (avref). This pic does not show the light on the top to warn off aircraft (avref) on approach to Kabul International Airport (avref) (presently a little smaller that DG International, but no Mafia burial complications and competing hard to be the world's greatest freight hub).

9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was now leading the race, but just around the corner someone had placed a Ferris Wheel on the track.........

.... and Turbo had never been allowed on one, as he was always too short and too heavy, plus his parents never had the dosh (this shows just how well Turbo has done to amass his fortune, about which Twiggy & Jimmy Packer are very envious).

The goats also showed surprising interest in a FW ride, so Tubb checked out the FW for IUDs (he was supposed to check for IEDs but was dyslexic) and he found one under the .....

BELOW IS WHAT TURBO FOUND. HE THOUGHT IT WAS PART OF A TESLA KEYRING.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...had to feint to the left and put the brakes on.

Aaquel's goats slammed into the back of Turbo's chariot, and Aaquel toppled over the dashboard stright into the .......................

.... centre of Tubb's chariot where Aaquel discovered Turbo's secret (which confirmed the Afghan community's belief that Turbo is, indeed, a wise man and magical engineer (Turdy is on his way to Warlord status without even having to pass GO), as there ... hidden under dust, straw, 3 manky AK47s and a few involuntary spoonfuls that Turbo had done when Aaquel's chariot had struck him, was a fibre reinforced transverse spring from a Corvette, hence the flat handling and grip exhibited by Turbo's machine which was painted Corvette red and actually went faster than the goats that were pulling it, hence why the goats ......

Dear NESers. Please excuse Crappy's artistic license, as the above happened the century before last up the Khyber, and AK's + Vettes had not yet been invented .... but you know what I am getting at, and those are fairly minor points when the story is this interesting and relevant to matters aviation (avref).

TURBO'S CHARIOT LOOKED LIKE THIS BUT WITH GOATS PULLING IT AND AT 1:20 SCALE (EXCEPT FOR TURDY, WHO WAS 1:175 SCALE AFTER EATING THE WHOLE GOAT).

20 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Excrete both green and brown.

Quickly adapting to this sudden change Turbo moved out wide. The camo green and brown now blended in with the sparse Afghanistan and he was able to overtake Aaquel but.....

... the goat poo camouflaged Turbo looked identical to an Afghan rattler in 70s Russian camo (refer earlier detailed post with photo) albeit Turbo looks like a rattler that has eaten a whole goat in one sitting, horns, parson's nose and all.

Aaquel dodged to the left then feinted to the right, just like Osama did before the Seals plugged him, and this meant that Turbo .....

59 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............nipped under local Champion AAquel's chariot and undid the axle king bolts. This was quite a feat because goat chariots were very close to the ground. He gave his goats an extra teaspoon of Castrol R, and quickly slipped out of the arena unnoticed....or so he thought but .........

..... Castrol R has 2 critical adverse effects on goats.

The 1st is that it gives them severe runs, but that is the opposite of running fast, as Turbo found out when he was explosively spray painted without warning (not even a slight gurgle), and the 2nd is that goats .....