Captain

7 hours ago, bull said:

....the truth came out about the "other" plants turdo had been growing in between his tomato's and Border force had descended upon his huge............. 

..... Cat Farm Complex (the TCCC) where he has, for decades, been cooking up cat-meat cookies infused with wacky tobacco ...... a culinary adventure that Cappy had originally opposed when it was first raised at board level, but then .....

...... Eva Braun's grandma and the Kaiser's missus, who were hanging off his arm (as the ladies always do with Turbo) and begging for a .......

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........when they aimed at the enemy to the leften, the guns shot their own troopen to the righten, whereas the Pussy Moths could put a stitch of fire straight down the line and take out the Fochen Wulffs every time which shortened the war by ...........................

..... 26 years, and this caused a big problem as all of the publicity had already been printed, based on it being another "30 Years War" .... or in German .... a "Dreisch Jahren Scheisenstaushen".

"Ziss is nein gut" said ze Kaiser when he called up Turbo's great grandy "As zis is just going to be a pizzy little 4 years war and I promised ze Rockerfeller'n zat I could deliver a good dreisich jahen bunn'n-fight'n and that would enable you und ze ......

TURBO'S MUCH-LOVED GRANDFATHER (USING THE WELL-KNOWN TURBINE FAMILY TEAPOT STANCE), ASKING THE BLOKE WHY HE HAS A MODEL OF A THRUSTER ON HIS HELMET ........ HENCE TURBO'S FIXATION WITH THEM.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........kills.

The young Churchill had put it about that although these were Moths, the pilots were pussys and not up to the job.

The German aces including Baron Von bullshyten couldn't help themselves in the pubs, calling the aircraft Pussy Moths, just as Churchill intended.

As they loudly and drunkenly shouted thay they were going to wipe out the Pussy Moths, there were some misunderstandings ......................... 

..... because the points on their helmets were affected by the transit of the latest sunspot activity and had also buggered up the early German version of WW1 GPS, such that .....

The Germans in WW1 were about to announce that they had invented SchtarenLinken, but they were then made aware that the Aussie aboriginals were claiming that, in an effort led by Widbinjajakri spirit totem, the Rainbow Muskstick.

ZE KAUSEN VON ZE TROUBLEN MIT ZE GEEPEEESSEN UND ZE SCHTAREN LINKEN.

it turns out that there is a 3,750 dB gain ground (hardbrownbitavref) plane (avref) antenna in the pointy bit.

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

All WA people have that vicious streak in them; remember that movie "The Barbed Wire Fence"

Or what those sand-monkeys did to the poor wolf in Wolf Creek".

23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........ex RAAF dudes who still cultured 1915 moustaches and had big ears.

They usually flew Pussy Moths whenever they could afford it and mainly fle round and round an aerodrome because they all had short sight and obviously knew how to bribe medics, who in the RAAF also cultured 1915 moustaches, but more ragged designs.

These people immediately took to the low cost Thrusters operated by the TOS Club, a mysterious group who were always writing secret letters to each other and making mysterious posts which ....................

.... always included their military ranks, and there must be more Captains and Majors in Wreck Flying than were ever promoted since the Boer War.

Group Captain Speer commented "They only became known as Pussy Moths, because those of us that flew them against those jolly Germans got lots of ......

On 18/02/2024 at 10:32 PM, onetrack said:

(dear NES readers - I take it you'll understand that Cappy, being a resident of a particularly backward and slow area of NSW - namely the Southern suburbs of Wagga Wagga - means that he's also pretty slow on keeping up with many developments - especially as regards the development speed of the NES - so I trust you'll cut him some slack, for running an hour behind the last posting on the NES ......)

This post by the UniRoot (onlyeverhadoneref) is vicious and shows how good & worthy, but chip-on-the-shoulder, WA mates can turn on easterners without warning, such that Crappy feels like the NES no longer offers a safe space in which he can hide from his numerous enemies. Just say'n. 

.... the working classes wondered whether they had died and gone to heaven, all except for the .....

..... looked at Russ Hinze & his mate Turbo, for guidance, about which they said ....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........climb some of the Towers. Tragically they didn't take photos because the next year Joh Bjelke-Peterson ordered all 12 towers razed to the ground after calling them an "Abomination". JOH of course had a female pilot who secretly ......................

..... adored him and when he would start to say "Well, don't you, don't you ...." she immediately would ..... touch it, and this became a problem for .....

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

and the members wnet out on a crusade, but no one could find it.

Eventually......................

..... , when they returned from the Crusade, everyone was keen to hear stories of derring-do, as they had all read Danny Brown's book ..... but it turned out that this Crusade just went down to Charters Towers to attack the Masonic Lodge and to imbibe at the Workies Club and ....

.... invented the resurrection narrative and there in the corner of the painting was a structure baring a sign saying "Golgotha Arms" with Golgotha crossed out and Hughendon added.

This caused great interest from the .....

.... to Morton's invention of the Cat Scan, which he had copied from an ancient cave painting that .....

.... to Morton's invention of the Cat Scan, which he had copied from an ancient cave painting that .....

51 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo had begun trialling bottled cat gut as an alternative. It had the advantage of no odour, but so fa could only achieve an accuracy of about 5%, so .........

..... this clearly proved that as well as inventing AFL footy, the Moon Lander and the Mars Rover (severalsort-ofaviationrelatedavrefs), the Aussie native peoples also invented & perfected the EFIS just .......

10 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....exhaust pipe, to keep the through-bolts pointed in the correct direction - and not directly at him. However, there came the time when, as Cappy was piloting his famous J230 wearing his KMS's (because they were good for flying, his Elder had told him) and he went to push on a rudder pedal, one of his KMS's tore in half, and the bottom half jammed in the........

.... wombat entrails which Crappy had spread out around the cocjpit so as to 'read" them in order to determine wind direction and ......

45 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Cappy became rather alarmed about the thought of a through-bolt pointing directly at him - just the mere mention of it made him feel queasy, so he made sure that he..........

..... wore his Kurdaitcha Man slippers to bed (Cappy is a certified Shaman able to practice in all states and Territories except the ACT) and stuck a rainbow serpent's feather up his .....

Cappy's very own KMSs after he took them off at the coffee shop this morning because they hurt his bunion. 

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

On the other hand, Dear Readers, do we praise him for quietly overlooking one post, where Cappy was spearing a baby, in the interests of modern diversity where not even Barnaby can have a lie down on the way home from the pub.

Crappy accepts that speared babies is not a good look for the NES so he continues Turdy's thread below.

20 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was one of these, called Chris that Cappy speared.   He grabbed the tail of the Jab and brought it to a stop, ........

...... and said "Elders can sell, at auction of course, that beautiful 230 for you for a substantial capital gain .... alternatively, we have the only supply of new thru-bolts on the planet, and while they are painted in Elders red & each comes with a free red shirt, they ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...n Elders Cattle salesman in the buttocks.

For the benefit of City people we should explain that there are thousands of these people around Australia, dressed in red checked open neck shirts, moleskins and RM Williams boots highly polished. They are tall with wavy off white hair, still wear watches on the left wrist with leather covers embossed with "RMW". They have big white teeth and smile a lot, and big booming voices. Before the sale they stand around in a circle with one knee bent towards the centre and the watch-hand resting on it, and the shoulders slightly turned, talking, and laughing together. About three minutes before the Auction the circle breaks up and they quickly redraft the cattle into the opposite order and start barking loud comments about the wonderful quality and breeding of each animal, sometimes receiving a horn in the rear for their trouble. After the sale they re-form the circle at the bar, the hand not on the knee holding a pot of beer until well after sunset when they go home.

It was one of these, called Chris that Cappy speared.   He grabbed the tail of the Jab and brought it to a stop, ............ 

So, the question now, Dear Readers, is do we just pretend that Turbo is still "with it" and we reply to his above-quoted post ...... or do we point out to him and the world, that he is responding to a post on a previous page and several posts ago.

For his mental well-being we should probably say nothing, but it is also a great opportunity to stick it up him (NTTIAWWT), ........ so to speak.

What should we do? I leave it to others as Crappy would give him a reaming if Mickey the Jedi had his way.

1 hour ago, Captain said:

snag on a baby as he tried to harden the stick in the fire as Uncle Warren had shown him as a kiddie.

The Cook family had long believed in toughening up their nippers by emersing them in native cultures and this is why ........

The above should have read "snag on a barby (viz BBQ) as no babies were harmed during the preparation of this post, nor when the stick was hardened.

2 hours ago, onetrack said:

......when the crowds were disbursing - and they nearly always disbursed $10 and $20 notes, which Cappy would pick up with a sharpened stick at 60 knots or more, whilst leaning out of the cockpit and holding a 45° bank. However, during one of the disbursement stunts, Cappy misjudged, and speared a.............

... snag on a baby as he tried to harden the stick in the fire as Uncle Warren had shown him as a kiddie.

The Cook family had long believed in toughening up their nippers by emersing them in native cultures and this is why ........

..... issued a statement that said "After he flew under it a few times he got bored and "did a CT" by flying through the spans while the Southern Aurora was coming along, and while that was highly illegal, I found it to be a turn-on when he then went downstream to the Hampton Bridge and flew sideways, knife-edge style, through the spans, then through the oval holes in the supports. The croud went berserk yet Cappy remained his usual modest and unassuming self, when he .....

The Hampton Bridge after the adoring crowd had disbursed. 

.... that deserve to be celebrated, like .....

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Those of us who actually fly Cessnas (I fly a Caravan) know that high pants have a distinct advantage in the wet because they don't get muddy, and cab be taken off in ........

...... the hangar whenever the Cessna owner wants to feel the wind in their hair and to have their scarf a-flap'n.

This fact, as recently exposed by Turbo in his previous post is a sad one, and is the reason why Cessnas have appeared so often in the mainstream media's crash reports.

"This discovery by Turbo is a biggie and could get him the AO after which is hankers, as the issue is similar in principle to the door plug falling out of the Alaska Airlines Boeing recently. All Cessna aircraft worldwide are therefore grounded as a result, until all of their cabs can be permanently afixed and all owners are retrained so as not to "take their cab off" as Turbo so succinctly stated it." said the boss cocky of CASA.

"But what will we write about in future?" cried the reporters of the MSM, who had all previously added the word Cessna into their ...... 

This shows the extent of the problem and could be your next biennial CFI.

This is not Turbo as he does not have blue braces ....... and I don't think it is Squealer either.